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Light and darkness, swirling endlessly.
Pain. Cold. Keep moving.
You're being chased.
Can't stop. Can't stop.
Have to lose them in the storm, or your horse's death was for nothing. Or Taka's death was for nothing. Or you killed Ryuzo for nothing.
If you die here, nobody will do your funeral rites.
It's so cold.
Every muscle in your body is screaming, on fire, telling you to stop. The burning pain in every inch of your bones doesn't stop the biting chill and frost gathering on your skin.
Don't slow down to throw up. It hurts. It hurts.
Are your limbs supposed to feel that heavy?
The world, already spinning, ephemeral, flips on its head.
Your own voice rings out distantly in your head, like it's not you.
“Yuri, save me.”
Unconsciousness comes quickly and mercifully.
—
She trudged and stumbled through the snow, pausing next to a tree, sheltered slightly from the harsh wind.
Jin was completely limp against her shoulder. Yuna could tell he was still alive because of her tight grip around one wrist, trying to keep him in place. Under her fingers, she could feel his rapid heartbeat, and next to her ear, she could hear his ragged breathing. His skin was burning up, both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it was good that he wouldn't be getting hypothermia in these conditions. On the other, it was an incredibly bad sign that he'd been laying in the snow for who knows how long until she'd found him, and yet his skin was as hot as if he had a fever during a humid late summer.
Yuna took a moment to consider the circumstances and what to do next. A tree wasn't perfect shelter, but it's what she had at her disposal.
She, once again, had a half dead man slung over her shoulder and was dragging him away from bloodthirsty Mongols.
Not ideal.
Fortunately, there was an abandoned fort not far from here. If she could just make it to her horse, she could make it there.
She couldn't lose him, too. Making it there had to be enough to save him.
She shook her head to clear the snow from her face the best she could and started trudging on again.
—
Jin awoke to swirling sensations again. Light and dark, boiling heat and cool on his skin, the room spinning like he'd had too much to drink.
He felt sick as the room twisted more. He dug his nails into the wood boards under him, dragged himself onto his side, and promptly threw up.
He distantly perceived someone rushing to him, but didn't have time to look around the room or even see who was placing their hand on his shoulder before his arm buckled under him and he was gone again.
—
Yuna knelt by Jin's side, feeling useless.
She'd done all she could. Medicine, water, cool cloths and even during one bad bout of fever placing snow on his forehead. There was nothing to do but wait.
It was his call if he wanted to come back to them.
She was so tired, but was afraid to lay down, in case there was something more for her to do all of a sudden. There always seemed to be.
He'd faded in and out of consciousness. Mumbling names that meant nothing to her- crying out for “Yuri” and “mom” and apologizing to his father. Nothing substantial or coherent. Nothing she could report back to or ask about when, no- no, she should be prepared for the worst case scenario- if he woke up.
She felt sick at that thought. If he died, what would she have to continue for? Taka was gone. She'd staked everything on Jin- on getting revenge for what they'd done to her brother, but without Jin...
And she'd come to care for Jin. He was calm, and kind, and didn't look at her like some foolish peasant with no sense, like a thief with blood on her hands never to be trusted, like a painting smeared with ink.
She felt sick and heard a keening sound. It took a moment to realize it was her.
He had to come back. Or… or else they wouldn't win. They wouldn't avenge everyone who'd died. He had to.
—
Memories swirl in your head like schooling fish, come and go in spiraling patterns like leaves picked up by wind.
"She can't be gone!"
Running. Cold. Hunger. Warmth, slowly returning to home, Yuriko, and your father. Grief persists. Shame for not facing it.
"Shimura will replace you once he gets a son of his own."
Fear. You run again. It's true, and you can't run from truth, but you can the inevitable come faster. Shame. Shame. Constantly drenched in shame. It follows you like miasma, clinging to your breath and your skin.
Your father's death, all the people you couldn't save, all the things you ran from.
All you know how to do is run.
Just now, you were running from-
You were running after-
Where are you?
Everything hurts.
Where'd your mom go? Where is she?
—
He took a sharp gasp in as a gut-wrenching pain struck him in the stomach. For the first time in days, Jin's eyes opened.
Hit with disorienting pain and the sudden blinding light of consciousness, he nearly threw up again, but managed to successfully curl up on his side and dry heave. Everything he did was just barely, just managing to stay up, conscious, aware.
Yuna knelt in front of him, setting a hand on his shoulder. She smelled of herbs and cold water. Her voice wobbled slightly as she spoke.
“I wasn't sure you'd wake up.”
He threw up again.
She quickly leaned over him, placing a bowl behind him and started cleaning with the spare rags piled up near his head.
“Drink that. It's broth.”
The room spun again, nearly knocking him over as he tried to kneel and scoot away to give her room. His arms were weak and his mouth was dry and tasted sour- like medicinal herbs, vomit, and blood.
He took a small sip and was sure it was the most delicious thing he'd ever drunk. If he didn't feel so sick, he probably wouldn't have been able to stop himself from immediately downing it all and asking for more.
“You've been out for days. It's a miracle I was able to get you to keep any medicine, water, and broth down.”
“I'm sorry,” Jin mumbled, voice cracking and croaking. He flinched, surprised at the sound, how sickly and weak his own voice sounded.
“Don't be. You waking up is enough. We'll talk about it later,” Yuna replied.
Everything hurt still. Every inch of him was sore, he was tired, didn't even want to ask where they were or how they'd gotten here.
He finished off the bowl, staring blankly into nothing.
“Go on, rest.”
He heeded her words, lowering himself back to the floor with shaky, sickness-frail arms.
He slept for a long while after that.
—
Yuna knelt next to the window, watching and listening to the raging storm outside. It had let up for a short while and then returned with a vengeance. Luckily, the house they were in hadn't been abandoned long enough or damaged enough to struggle too badly with keeping the worst of the cold out.
Jin had woken up a few times since he'd first opened his eyes again. He was getting better- sleeping longer without throwing up and more peacefully, his fever was reduced, and he seemed mostly lucid, if exhausted and still sickly when awake.
She hadn't slept in days.
Yuna stared towards him- he was curled up on his side, breathing softly and slowly- also much different from when she'd found him.
Other than the wind and Jin, it was silent.
Unbidden, her sleep deprived mind forced in thoughts of how much less lonely it would be if Taka was here. He would have been puttering around, fidgeting with some new thing that had captured his attention, or helping her with what she needed to do, or they'd be trying to not laugh and wake Jin up as they talked.
She'd come so close to losing everything.
Yuna squeezed her eyes shut.
As it was, her two options were to go scouting or sleep. And she could only imagine what would happen if Jin woke up while she was gone- he'd probably panic and go looking for her, and with the state he was in...
She let out a small humorless breath.
So, she crawled across the floor, laid down with her back to him, facing one of the doors in case someone unsavory had come for and found them, and shut her eyes.
—
Flowing water and wind.
Raging fires turn to embers.
Purple flowers bloom.
Dragged from the battlefield by a thief. What would your uncle think?
That didn't matter anymore. You are nobody's son.
—
Jin woke up to cold.
What an odd sensation.
He slowly sat up, whole body still sore and weak.
Yuna wasn't on the side of the room he was facing- he turned his head and there she was, laying on the floor as well.
He felt awful. Guilty. How could someone not?
She'd saved his life twice now and he'd done nothing but make her life emptier and bleaker.
Jin wondered where they were, where Yuna had fled with him to. The place they were in looked like it hadn't been lived in for some time- not dilapidated, but thoroughly dusty and a bit damaged.
Small piles of supplies were scattered around. There was a box in the corner- light curiosity tugged at his mind but he was far too tired to entertain it.
He noticed, near the fire pit, there was a small pile of medicinal herbs spilling from bundles.
Jin's nose wrinkled at the memory of the taste. It was blurry but he knew it tasted horrible. Where had she gotten it, then...? They were too far north for herbs to be gathered wild. Perhaps stolen or scavenged from the house or somewhere nearby.
The rest of the house, from what he could tell, was entirely empty.
Jin looked towards Yuna again, then laid down, back facing towards her, turned towards the other door. He didn't have weapons, but if a bandit or Mongol got in here, he could at least hold them off for a bit.
He fell asleep slowly, slipping into a calm, and finally dreamless, sleep.
—
Yuna gasped, throwing herself upright.
A torn paper window met her eyes.
It'd just been a nightmare. She should be used to them by now, but she'd never managed to fully get over each ordeal her mind put her through every time she slept. Recently, she'd had a lot of new horrors to occupy her sleeping mind.
She turned her head, trying to think of other things. Jin was sleeping there- he'd been doing much better recently. Hopefully he'd wake up again soon so she could check on him-
Or wake up at all.
She watched him for a long moment.
He was breathing and showed no signs of fever, distress, or pain. Notably, he wasn't having fits in his sleep again where he cried out names, places, for help. They were through the worst of it.
But he was breathing slowly, and shallowly.
She took another moment to watch him, just in case it was her mind playing tricks on her.
Surely he hadn't fallen back into illness. That wasn't how poison worked. Or perhaps he'd caught cold while recovering, and... she should probably just be sure he was alright.
Yuna pressed a hand to his forehead, and feeling it was cool, considered shaking his shoulder-
Before she could, though, his eyes blearily opened, blinking repeatedly.
She jerked her hand back, aggressively blinking her own eyes, trying to clear the tears that had welled there. They really were through it, then.
“You're alright,” Yuna swallowed. Now wasn't the time to cry.
“Mostly,” Jin groaned, sitting up, “I'm sore, but... I think I'll be alright.”
“I wasn't sure you'd wake up when I first found you, what happened?” The words spilled from her mouth and her voice was wobbly, despite her best efforts to stay calm.
“The Mongols used my own poison on me,” he said.
Yuna felt sick. She'd seen what it could do, when Jin had poisoned the Mongol camp in Shimura's castle. Vomiting blood, weakness, pain, hallucinations and thrashing... in retrospect, it was obvious. It was a miracle that Jin had survived, especially since he hadn't been poisoned by eating it so it was harder to get it out of his system...
“How did they get it?” her mind forced images into her head of all the people they could hurt, had already hurt, now that they knew. Suddenly, things seemed much more hopeless.
“I don't know... but they learned how to make it themselves,” Jin said, eyes growing distant.
Oh.
That was what had happened at Kin Village.
She debated telling him. It'd weigh on his conscience, and it was said and done already. There was nothing that could be done to take it back. Worrying and grieving over what was behind them served no good.
But... they'd gotten this far by being honest and earnest with each other.
“They must have tested it on the people of Kin. Before they burned the town... I saw families, lying in pools of blood.”
She watched him closely, gauging his reaction. He must have been feeling a lot, to know your tool with the intention to save lives had been used to cause immeasurable suffering to the people you were meant to protect.
She hoped he knew it wasn't his fault. That it was either sending soldiers to die or taking a possible risk that the enemy could turn that weapon back on them.
Yuna also knew he'd probably blame himself anyway.
Several small, unreadable expressions crossed Jin's face, ending on a glare, boiling rage coming up from under his normally collected and calm surface.
“There's only one way to end this. Kill Khotun Khan.”
She knew what that meant. It was time to go. While she would have preferred for him to have rested a bit longer, but she could judge if he was well enough to travel when he was up and about. They just had to get moving for now to find a better place to rest and recover- and anyway, being here for so long- they were sitting ducks.
“He's taken his army to a stronghold on the coast, Port Izumi. We'll need a staging camp somewhere close. I'll see what I can find.”
Perhaps one of the temples? Jogaku temple was closest. She tended to avoid them, but they were built to have strong walls and plenty of room for lots of people to convene.
“Your equipment is in that chest. Meet me by the lookout tower when you're ready. And- finish off the soup, I'm not hungry.”
It was honest. In the face of the immeasurable odds they had to overcome... she had no appetite left.
She stood up, turning to go make herself busy with preparations. They'd need horses, and a plan to get there...
—
Jin opened the crate to find all his things there, sorted neatly. He grabbed them, sitting next to the fire pit to get ready.
As he got dressed, layering up for the frigid wind waiting outside, he drank as much as he could handle. He had very little appetite for the only thing he'd eaten while he was sick, but he needed energy for what was coming.
Tying a bandanna around his face to keep himself warm out in the snow, he stole a glance through the torn paper window. The storm had finally cleared. They'd be easier to spot, but travel would be faster. Everything had its drawbacks.
He didn't stop to think about how many people he'd doomed to the exact pain and agonizing death he'd endured and managed to come out on the other side of.
He didn't stop to think about Taka, about Shimura, about if Kenji had gotten out safely or faced repercussions for helping him escape, where the others were and if they were safe.
He didn't stop. He didn't think.
He didn't think.
Jin stood up a little unsteadily, walking out and carefully closing the door behind him. The previous occupants probably weren't coming back, but... it felt like the right thing to do. It was a habit he'd picked up after Komoda beach- closing the door behind him no matter how damaged.
It was some time late at night, and the moon was full. With the snow, he could see near as clearly as day.
He crossed the road, walking up the steps to the watchtower, finding Yuna at the base with her arms crossed. She was staring at him with a strong but indecipherable expression. Perhaps she was judging if he was healthy enough to travel and fight.
Perhaps he wasn't. His muscles still ached- but he could walk and swing a sword, and that would have to do for now.
“I think I found a better hideout... climb up and look towards the mountain.” She nodded towards the ladder.
Jin climbed up the watchtower, stepping forward.
It was colder up here. Cedar trees stretched forward, and at a point up the frigid mountain in the distance, changed to ice-covered maples.
A hideout, somewhere near the mountain...
Jogaku's pagoda.
Sheltered, defensible, and very close to the Khan's stronghold. If they had to run, there were plenty of places to flee or hide.
He climbed down and ignored his heart racing from effort.
“There's only one problem, the Mongols have it,” Yuna said.
“We can fix that,” he responded in turn. He'd singlehandedly driven them out of countless camps- he wasn't in the best condition, but with Yuna by his side now, he trusted his ability.
“Let's get the horses,” she replied tersely.
Don't think.
He followed her to the stables.
“What happened to your mount...?” Yuna asked. Her tone was hesitant, almost afraid.
“When I escaped, the castle guards fired on us... they killed Kage,” he said.
Don't think. Don't think. Don't think.
There's time to mourn later.
“I'm sorry, these will have to do for now,” Yuna said, having grabbed the reins of one of the horses.
Jin stepped up to the other, a skinny, brown, mangy thing. He almost felt bad to ride it, but there weren't any other options. He let it sniff his hand and when it responded with forward facing ears and a relaxed posture, gave its nose a quick pat, and hopped up, ignoring the radiating and hot soreness in his back.
There would be time to rest and heal later. The Khan needed to be dealt with.
Surely there would be time later.