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The cold night sang it's frigid tune of rain and sorrow, as Johnny watched the sky's tears as they slowly made their way down the window, in long mixing trails.
It was already past 10pm, but Johnny just couldn't fall asleep. He counted the drops as they melted together in lines down the pane.
Kanda was sleeping softly in the other bed across the room, breaths gentle and steady.
Johnny drew in his knees, hugging them tightly. With a sigh he pressed his head to the cold glass.
They still couldn't find Allen.
No matter how hard they looked, he was nowhere to be found.
Johnny wondered how everyone at the Order was doing. Was Komui’s work filed and completed?
Was Reever well rested after dealing with Komui? With each question, his mood worsened. He missed his once-called, home.
He missed watching the rain with all his friends, especially Tup.
How he missed the good ol’ days.
The weight of the world seemed to press down on the poor man.
It all built up until he couldn't hold it back, the dam breaking apart tear by tear, and the flood bursting forth.
His face seemed to mirror the window, with streams of tears that rolled down his cheeks in dark, messy lines.
“Hey, you still up?” Kanda asked from his bed. He pulled his hair out of his face and threw it over his shoulder. He leaned on his arms and he watched Johnny clean his face in hasted time.
Kanda was never good at being that friend to lean on, nor did he want to be.
But the tears were there, and they would be until they dried. Kanda let out a sigh and pulled the covers from his body. He made his way over to Johnny who had all but failed to stop the hiccups and sobs.
With a gentle wave over man's head, Johnny was cloaked in the cloth.
Slowly Johnny let out the pain in his heart. The very feeling that kept him up at night.
Johnny threw himself away from the window into Kanda's bare chest. Kanda stood still but didn't shrug him off. He knew full well the pain, the feelings that kept one up at night.
“I can't do anything!” Johnny cried out into the dark room. “I can't save anyone! I can't protect anyone! I had to be saved by you, and Allen, and...” another sob broke free as Johnny lost his words.
Slowly, arms wrapped around the smaller man. “I'm so helpless!” was all he could choke out.
For what felt like year, the room was only filled with the patter of the rain and the sobs from the broken man. Then, he slowly took a breath and found the will to speak.
“Thank you...”, Johnny slowly spoke out in between breaths, “for everything. You came all this way for Allen, I'm glad he has so many friends who care about him.”
Johnny pulled from the safety of the younger man and grinned. “You have friends too, Kanda! Don't forget that.”
Kanda was unsure how to take the words. Instead, he took a hold of the curls on the back of Johnny's head and pulled him back into a hug. Johnny felt at ease in Kanda's warm embrace. Kanda may not have been a man of many words, but he was one of action. He always made it clear that it was in his arms that Johnny could feel safe and secure, particularly in hard times such as now. “Do they ever stop?” Johnny's quiet and scared voice asked. Knowing that when he would sleep tonight, only nightmares awaited.
“No,” Kanda ran his fingers through the curls of his hair, “but they get easier.”