Chapter Text
The pavement was cold and wet that night. No one could have ever anticipated such a tragedy and to such a young vivacious man with his entire life ahead of him. He was making a name for himself becoming a big time movie star with great potential. He was going to be great; he was going to be legendary. His head throbbed relentlessly the lower half of his body completely numb. He glanced at the blood that covered the street knowing it was his own. He didn’t yet realize the extent of his injuries as he tried to get up from off the ground. As he pushed up with his hands a medic placed his hand on the young man’s back telling him not to get up.
“I need to see my friend.” He managed to gurgle blood dripping from the edge of his mouth.
“Mr. Hiddleston please lay down. We’re trying to get you into the ambulance as quickly as possible.”
“I have to see Luke. Why won’t you let me get up I’m fine!”
“Tom.” The paramedic said softly their eyes meeting briefly. “You don’t have any legs.”
That was 3 years ago and it still haunted him to this day. Luke didn’t make it and yet the drunk driver who had run into them did. How could life be so cruel? How could he have lost his legs and his friend yet the other man lost nothing? He was sentenced to only 5 years in prison for involuntary manslaughter. 5 years. That wasn’t enough for Tom it would never be enough in fact he was quite content with the idea of seeing the man that hit them rot in jail for the rest of his life. The pain he went through was unimaginable. Not only did he suffer physically, but mentally as well. His entire life changed, his career went out the window, every dream he strived for was lost. It was enough to send the once happy go lucky man into the deepest darkest pit of despair.
Now here he was at a meeting for amputees suggested to him by his therapist. She hoped that him seeing other people in the same predicament would change his way of thinking would help him to see his life in another light. He glanced around taking in the sights around him. People with no arms, people who like him lost both their legs, people fortunate enough to still have one limb. All he could think to himself was How the hell did I get here? This wasn’t the life he was supposed to have he was going to make a name for himself people were going to know who he was and yet now he was but a shadow of a person who simply didn’t exist anymore.
The door let out a loud creek and in walked a rather boisterous woman wearing a pair of blade runners something Tom had been considering getting since his accident, but always put it off not wanting to purchase anything to remind him of that night.
“Has it started yet?”
“No you’re just in time.” An elderly man with one arm answered. “Have a seat and we’ll begin.”
Her eyes flickered across the room before settling on the seat next to Tom. She approached him noting his inability to even look her in the face. “Do you mind if I sit here?”
“No.” He replied letting it be known that he had simply given up on life. He felt the hard plastic chair shift beside him and couldn’t help but take in her running blades once more. “Nice legs.”
“Oh yeah thank you.”
“You like to run then?”
“Like is an understatement. I love it.”
“I used to run quite a bit until I had my accident.”
“Well that seems like a sorry excuse for stopping.”
He lifted his head up and looked at her. “Sorry?”
“It just seems to me that it is a silly excuse to not do something that you love. Just because you’ve lost your legs doesn’t mean you should just give up.”
Before he could answer the elderly man asked him to introduce himself to the group. He cleared his throat turning away from her before speaking.
“My name is Tom. I was an actor once until I lost my legs and my best friend in a car accident. My therapist thought this would be good for me.” There was a small silence and he could feel their eyes staring at him. “Let’s move on.”
The old man did as he was told turning now to the woman next to him. “And what about you young lady?”
She smiled wide. “My name is Dagny. I was born with fibular hemimelia and had my legs amputated when I was 18 months old. I’m currently a photographer and do a bit of running on the side.”
It then hit Tom harder than he ever expected it to. She had lived her entire life without legs. At least he had memories of what it was like to have them of what it was like to be able to stand on your own two feet, to feel the ocean water crash against your shins, hell even to feel your dog scratch your skin until it bled. She never had a chance to feel any of it and yet the smile never washed from her face. What was her secret to happiness? How did she learn to cope with her missing limbs? She intrigued him.
“Dagny…” He whispered leaning over as the rest of the group continued their introductions. “How do you do it?”
She raised an eyebrow. “Do what?”
“How do you cope with it?”
She smiled softly knowing he was struggling and gave him the best piece of advice she could. “I’ve found that the best way to be happy is to accept the circumstances you are given. Don’t try to pretend they don’t exist, don’t ever tell yourself you can’t do something because there is always a way and until you realize that this is the card you’ve been dealt and you have to live your life regardless of if you have one leg, none, or two it doesn’t define who you are then you will never be happy.”
He felt his heart leap into his throat. She was so articulate so smart. It made her absolutely beautiful something he hadn’t been able to see in another person in years. She accepted her fate and learned to live her life accordingly and never allowed anyone to tell her she couldn’t do it. This is where Tom wanted to be, but it seemed so distant and so difficult.
He returned her smile much to her amusement though she had no idea what was really going through his head. “So does it still work?”
“Does what still work?”
Oh it still worked alright in fact it worked better than he could have ever expected. She was right when she said you simply had to learn to use what was given to you no matter the circumstances. He leaned down and kissed her their sweaty bodies pressed against each other. This is exactly what he needed to get out of his funk to know he was still capable of doing things just in a different way.
He collapsed beside her his breath fast and labored. “Well I guess that answers my question.” She laughed. “Do you always go to bed with men you just meet?”
She sat up on her elbows tossing him a devious smirk. “No, but I could tell you needed it.”
“Boy did I ever.”
“You know I know exactly who you are.”
He glanced at her a small twinkle in his eye at the very idea that he hadn’t been forgotten about after all. “Oh do you now?”
“Tom Hiddleston best known for his role as Loki the God of Mischief. You’re not at all like I thought you would be.”
“How so?”
She tucked her hair behind her ears turning her gaze away from him out of fear she may hurt his feelings. “You’re…you’re sad. I can tell just by looking at you, your eyes have no life in them anymore. You use to be so happy, but I guess your accident kind of took a lot out of you which is understandable.”
“I never wanted to be this person. I never knew what depression was like until then. It was a horrible feeling you want so desperately to be happy yet you can’t.”
“I know.”
He reached over and pulled her face to look at his. “How?”
“Just because I’m happy on the outside doesn’t mean I’m happy on the inside. I struggled myself once, but I pulled myself out of it. I chose to live. Now it’s your turn to make that choice. So Tom what is it going to be?”
His mind was racing in all directions for he had never been asked such a thing and never expected to. To choose between living and dying was a drastic decision. On one hand he wanted to die, he wanted to be out of his suffering, to not be in pain anymore, to be buried in a hole in the ground. However, that would mean never seeing her again a girl he had only just met yet felt so attached to, he would never get to see his family, never get the chance to see the kind of life he could have had, had he simply not given up. There was only one simply answer to give and he gave it with complete assurance.
“I want to run.”