Out of Exile

Harry took a deep breath and looked out over the beautiful lake stretching out before the pier they were sitting on. The sunlight made the surface of the water sparkle, and small, restless ripples spread whenever a fish briefly broke the surface. This place was so beautiful, so peaceful… „I still say it’s-“

„Harry“, the other man interrupted, almost admonishingly.

„No, please… let me finish“, he pleaded. „It really doesn’t matter to me. I can arrange everything“, he promised earnestly. „I don’t have to give an address at work—they know exactly what would happen otherwise, and I-“

„No“, Severus interrupted him again. „Harry…“ He ran his hand over Harry’s thigh. „You can’t simply disappear from the public eye. You have friends you can’t just tell not to visit you anymore, and sooner or later you’ll have to explain why you’re not seeing anyone, why you’re not interested in anyone at all. You can’t put your life on hold for me“, he said clearly. Harry’s shoulders slumped, and he stared dejectedly at Severus’s hand, still resting on his leg.

„For weeks now, you’ve been trying to tell me everything you could do—or rather refrain from doing—to be with me, and for just as many weeks I’ve been trying to make it clear to you that I don’t want that.“

„I know“, Harry murmured. „It’s just… I don’t want to only visit you now and then, Sev… not just steal a few hours with you when no one happens to be watching me. I know I said at the beginning that that would be enough for me, but…“

He shook his head miserably. It wasn’t enough. And how could it ever be? „I’m sorry.“

Severus squeezed his leg gently.

„Stop apologising“, he asked softly. „And perhaps finally start asking the right questions?“ Harry looked up, dark brows drawn together.

„The right questions?“

„I don’t know how many different ways you’ve offered to sacrifice more or less your entire normal life in order to be with me. Shouldn’t you eventually reach the point of asking what I am willing to give up for it?“ Severus asked, one eyebrow raised.

Harry hunched his shoulders slightly.

„What else am I supposed to let you sacrifice? You already have nothing but this“, he muttered, subdued.

„And I’m exceedingly comfortable—thanks in no small part to you. I don’t have to take care of anything, don’t have to deal with anything, have all the peace and quiet in the world… You’re making it very, very easy for me. Asking me to commit to us would hardly be too much to ask.“

Harry frowned deeply, lips pressed together. „You said you weren’t coming back“, he reminded him.

„I did“, Severus agreed calmly. „Just as we agreed that the little time we had would be enough. Things change… quite obviously.“

Now Harry was looking at him as though he’d lost his mind. „Are you seriously considering this? Coming back from the dead after five years… that won’t be easy. Especially since you were acquitted post mortem—but post mortem doesn’t exactly apply anymore“, he said, idly splashing his feet through the water.

„I know. Back then, I was acquitted solely because of your efforts. If I return, I’ll have to answer before a court.“

„Unless we do it unofficially. My friends wouldn’t betray you“, Harry assured him at once.

„No. If I do it, then I do it properly, Harry. Anything else wouldn’t just cost you your job - it would make the subsequent court proceedings far worse as well. If I approach the Ministry myself, that’s a very different kind of entry. I could explain my side of things from the very beginning, before anyone even has the time to prepare counterarguments.“

Harry fell silent and looked back out over the beautiful lake, turning Severus’s words over in his mind. At heart, he was right. It would be exhausting, but Harry was genuinely confident he could help Severus through the trial. And once that was over… Severus wouldn’t have to hide anymore. He could go wherever he pleased. Harry wouldn’t have to deny him anymore - and yes… in the end, everything would be easier. But… would it? He took a deep breath. Until now, their relationship had belonged to them alone. None of his friends knew about it. None of his colleagues. To everyone outside this idyllic place, Harry Potter was single, and there was no shortage of offers presented to him every single day—offers he declined, every single day, with polite gratitude. And Severus Snape was barely spoken of anymore—he was dead, and that was that. No, his private life had remained entirely private, because this place was protected as thoroughly as magic allowed.

„Harry?“ He looked up at Severus, who was watching him with slightly furrowed brows. „What are you thinking?“ Harry drew a deep breath.

„That you’ll have to brace yourself for a hell of a lot of press. Both of us will. The moment you contact the Ministry, it’ll start“, he assured him.

„Are you ready for that?“ Severus asked quietly. He knew how much Harry would rather do without it.

„I’m going to hate it“, Harry assured him. „I’ll get angry, I’ll cry and curse, and you’ll have to put up with all of it“, he added seriously.

„How is that any different from usual?“ Severus nudged him lightly, and Harry grunted.

„Bastard.“ But just because Severus smiled, he couldn’t truly be angry with him. He slid his hand over Severus’s fingers, still resting on his leg, and laced them together.

„Do you really want to do this?“ he asked again, earnest now. „You do enjoy the life you have now.“

„I do—but that doesn’t mean it has to stay this way. We had four years to ourselves. Just us.“ He gently rubbed his thumb along Harry’s. „We argued and made up again. We made plans and followed through on them. We forgave each other… I know your fears and your dreams—and you know mine. And you know that rotting away here was never my dream“, he said softly. „What I’m saying is… we’ve been ready to take this step for a long time. We were both just too comfortable.“

Harry squeezed his fingers gently.

„Ron is going to kill you“, he stated dryly.

„Nonsense. Though I do find it quite possible that he’ll simply drop dead“, Severus replied with a dark smile.

„Be nice to him, all right? He is my best friend… and as it happens, we’ll need his wife when you stand trial. Without Hermione, it’ll be a running a gauntlet.“

And Severus seemed to recognise that as well, rolling his shoulders with visible tension. In the end, however, he disengaged, drew his legs out of the water and rose to his feet, prompting Harry to stand too, watching for a moment as droplets ran down their legs and darkened the wooden planks of the pier before he looked up at Severus as the latter brushed the backs of his fingers tenderly along his cheek.

„We’re keeping the cabin, yes?“ Severus asked, as though Harry might dash off at any moment to sell it—after all, they had spent countless hours here together, and Severus knew he could never part with the log cabin.

„Of course. It remains our hideaway“, Harry assured him, catching Severus’s hand in his as he let it fall. „And you can come here whenever you like.“

Hand in hand, they stepped away from the water and walked barefoot back along the pier to the wooden steps leading up to the cabin’s veranda.

„I might be able to warm to the idea of not chopping wood anymore in winter“, Severus mused, glancing around. This place had been his home for the past five years - ever since Harry had found him in the Shrieking Shack and nursed him back to health. Summer and winter alike, and admittedly the winters out here could be harsh, even with magic.

„That’s a shame… I rather enjoy watching you do it“, Harry replied with a grin.

„You enjoy watching me do everything.“

„Strikingly true“, Harry grinned. „Do you think… you’ll manage?“ he asked then, more seriously. „A lot has changed in five years.“

„And you’ve always reported on it diligently“, Severus assured him calmly. „I’m not afraid of the world.“

When they reached the veranda, they dried their feet and pulled socks and shoes back on, while Severus meticulously rolled his black trouser legs back down and smoothed them. Harry, meanwhile, was wearing nothing but short jeans anyway. They stepped through the large glass door flooding the living room with light.

„Do you want to take the paintings with you?“ Harry asked, glancing at the neatly stacked canvases that had accumulated here over time.

He had gotten Severus to paint when he’d barely been able to get out of bed in the mornings, weighed down by depression and guilt, let alone do anything more. They had both painted back then, captured their nightmares on canvas… and later burned them with grim satisfaction. Severus had continued painting, and Harry couldn’t even say which of the countless images of the lake, the cabin, and the forest he liked best—though it was the darker ones that truly captured Severus’s soul. Not because his soul was dark, but because it had become his way of letting go of pain.

„No. Not right now. It’s time for… new canvases.“ Harry smiled and nodded.

„Come“, he said softly, offering him his hand again. „Let’s go shock the wizarding world.“

„Mmm… still one of my favourite pastimes.“ Severus took his hand, then drew him closer to place a tender kiss on his lips. When they broke it, they rested their foreheads together.

„Thank you“, Harry whispered, knowing that Severus had chosen the harder path—the one that would cost them both a great deal of strength. But in the end, it was also the path toward a real life, one that didn’t take place entirely in hiding, and honestly… there was no way Severus could ever more clearly prove what he felt for him.

„Always“, Severus promised softly.