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Mike is staring hungrily at Will.
This isn't the first time.
In fact, Will has become quite used to it by now.
Mike has always been a starer, his body and eyes not quite connected to his brain, which, as usual, is running a million miles an hour. So Will knows not to think too deeply upon it, likely, Mike isn't even aware he's staring. In fact, his brain is probably occupied with where he's heard the current song before: is it a movie he'd seen? An advert? Yeah. Will is certain that as Mike's eyes sweep over Will's swaying form, it has absolutely, completely, nothing to do with Will himself.
However.
Will would be lying if he hadn't noticed a change in Mike's staring problem in the past few months. His once absent-minded focus is now much more intense. What was once an occasional occurrence became expected at any gatherings. Will had begun to feel odd if he didn’t catch Mike staring. His full focus is now a sort of calming presence in its consistency and determination to never falter.
And it wasn't just the amount it occurred that had changed; no, it was the eyes themselves. Now, when Mike stares theres consciousness there, his eyes move, often up and down Will, and there's emotions, ones not quite accessible to the outer world but clearly affecting Mike, making him squirm like he's not quite sure what to do with them yet. Will, one very late night, after a particularly intense day of staring, had even convinced himself Mike was going blind.
He spent the night wondering if it's rude to tell someone they need glasses and have a squinting problem. But, when he brought it up to Mike in a panic the next day, Mike only coughed and mumbled something about having great vision, turned bright red in the face and stumbled up the basement stairs to answer his mother's call, the same mother who had left half an hour before, left to go to the movie theatre with a friend.
Will took it as a sign of embarrassment from the taller boy and decided that if Mike felt that bad about needing glasses, then he wouldn't pressure the boy. Maybe he was just worried he'd look like his father, Ted. Will shuddered, and it brought him back to his present situation.
The party had decided that tonight they would be social, and not just ‘upstairs instead of the basement’ social, but ‘leave the house and come to a party they're not even sure how they got invited to’ social. When Dustin had first suggested it, Will had been hesitant.
Being back home for the holidays was weird enough, always bumping into someone from high school in the grocery store or on the way to Mike's, never knowing what they'd say, constantly worrying the words “Zombie Boy” would slip from their lips. And though it hadn't happened yet, that didnt stop Will’s anxiety from flaring up regardless. And coming to a party, where he was definitely going to see at least half their year, was feeling a bit like stepping into a lion's den and hoping not to get mauled.
However, Dustin and the others were persuasive, and despite telling himself that Michael Wheeler's charms have no power over him anymore, he still found himself having a hard time saying no to his loving big eyes, pleading with him to say yes.
So here they were, and honestly, not so bad. They'd arrived about an hour before, and after half of that time, Will found he was able to relax. Everyone was in a great mood, there was dancing, plenty to drink, and a general energy of happiness to see one another. Max and Lucas seemed to have been dragged into a beer pong contest almost as soon as they’d walked into the house. Dustin was swinging a very giggly El round the makeshift dance floor in the living room to the sound of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
Will sways gently to the music in the kitchen doorway. He’d come to grab a drink after a particularly intense dancing session with Dustin and El. He wonders how Dustin even has the energy anymore as he watches him attempt to pick a very floppy El up in what he believes is supposed to be a dirty dancing lift. They land unceremoniously on top of one another, a ball of giggly limbs, happy and silly. Will smiles to himself as his eyes glance back at Mike.
Unlike the others, Mike hadn't jumped towards the dance floor; instead, he had been swept away from the group. some girl whom Will didn't know very well, but had seen around Hawkin’s High. Will had felt a weird sense of deja vu in that moment, as though in another life he should still feel residual jealousy from the days his crush had burnt bright and furiously. But now seeing a girl sweep Mike away didn’t really affect him more than a little curiosity.
He’s like to say it had something to do with his crush being gone, but he knows differently. He still finds himself having to remind himself of last June. When Mike had sat them down in the basement and firmly stated, “I’m Gay”.
Will had laughed. One of those laughs that bubbles up like a hiccup. He’d then immediately covered his mouth in embarrassment and apologised. Mike’s face didn’t flinch, but just eyed him with confusion and a hint of something Will couldn't quite put a finger on. The others had immediately jumped in to speak, thankfully. All of them are full of acceptance and joy. Dustin had even, with wide eyes, proclaimed, “I’m just going to say it, I did not expect that”.
Mike had laughed nervously and looked down at the floor. To which Will, who had not quite gotten over his laughing fit, has managed to whack Dustin in the shoulder.
“Hey! You didnt say that when I came out!” Will nudged playfully.
Dustin looked at him, his eyes even wider. “I-I didn’t-”
Will smiled and ruffled a hand through Dustin's curly hair, making him laugh and nudge Will back. The two quickly turned into a miniature wrestling match, ending in Dustin toppling down onto the couch but then managing to throw a pillow directly at Will's face.
The day continued as normal afterwards, it wasn't for another hour or so that Will got the chance to speak to Mike alone.
When the others left for the night, Will made sure to hang back - not out of the ordinary, it was common for the two boys to stay together watching movies well after the others left. Tonight, though, Will perched tactically relaxed on the table. Mike came back into the basement after bidding farewell to Lucas, the last to leave, and smiled at Will.
“Hey,” Will smiled.
“Hey,” Mike said in a small voice. His smile was small, almost secretive.
Will found himself fidgeting as he figured out how to bring up earlier. He coughed and looked down at his feet. He could hear Mike walk down the rest of the stairs and settle at the bottom, a mere arm's reach from Will.
“Hey,” Mike repeated, somehow quieter despite his closer proximity.
Will glances up now, close enough to see the specks of gold in the dark-haired boy's eyes. Close enough to smell the cologne he’s gotten for his 18th birthday, which he claimed made him feel older. Once again, Mike was staring.
“Hey,” Will swallowed. “I want to say sorry,”
Mike's eyes flicker; they whisper silent questions.
“For earlier. For -uh- laughing?” He murmurs the last part, his eyes once again casting to the floor. He sighs and regains his confidence, and then begins to ramble. “It’s just that I wasn’t expecting it and - and I used to imagine you being gay, but obviously you weren't, and aren't except you are, and i just caught me off guard, and honestly it made me laugh - but - but not at you, at me? At my younger self? Like it's funny how shocked he would be. Not that um not shocked, it's just… He sighs again as though he were a balloon deflating and silently urges himself to shut up.
There was silence.
Then.
Laughter.
Will looked up to find Mike's eyes closed, pinching the bridge of his nose and laughing to himself. He opens his eyes and smiles at Will.
“Will, it's okay!”
“I just didn't want you to - I didn't - I’m sorry!”
“Will-”
“I-”
“Will!” Mike put his hands on each of Will's arms, calming his nervous gestures and silencing him. “It is really okay, I get it”.
Will holds his gaze and allows his heart rate to return to the right tempo. He smiles bashfully and feels a warmth graze his cheeks.
“Okay, okay. I’m actually quite proud of you, though,” Will says.
Mike, for once, looks taken aback.
“You are?”
“Yeah, are you kidding me? I know how much that takes. I’m proud you could tell everyone.”
Mike smiles to himself. “Thanks, Will”
“No problem, Mike” They had smiled at one another.
The night had continued in the same way it usually did, and if Will was honest, not much had changed since Mike had come out. After all, it didn't change how anyone saw him, and he wasn't dating anyone, so there wasn't some new boyfriend to worry about, and Will's crush had been long gone… Though if Will were actually honest, he would also have to acknowledge that this was also what happened when the staring got worse. The staring that is now reaching what Will imagines as a new time record. He holds Mike's gaze for now.
“Will!” A hand from behind touches his shoulder.
When he turns, he finds the expectant faces of Max and Lucas smiling towards him. He glances over them, their eyes a little glassy from lost rounds of beer pong, hair a little dishevelled in a way he can't decide is normal, Max frizz, or if Lucas has pulled her away to make out sometime in the past hour.
“Come swim with us!” Max grabs his hand as she asks this.
“Swim?” He mentally backtracks over what he’d seen of this house. Did it even have a pool? If so, it was giant! Matter of fact, whose house was this?
“Right now?”
“Yeah!” Lucas grinned, “A bunch of people are gonna go, come with us!”
Will thought for a second. It was a particularly warm night, and it did sound fun. He glanced over his shoulder at Mike. The boy was still staring, startled when he realised Will’s eyes were back on him.
“Okay, I’ll go if Mike goes,” Max rolls her eyes at this, and Lucas scoffs knowingly but smiles and drags Max straight over to the staring boy.
Will watches them talk to Mike; he notices once again the itch he gets when Mike’s gaze isn't settled on him. After a moment, he sees Max throw her hands up in the air: guess they weren't successful. Mike looks over to Will again and this time offers him a smug smirk. Max pulls Lucas toward El and Dustin and seems to have a much easier time persuading them. Will watches Dustin carry Max towards the back door. Seriously, how does he have so much energy…
As his friends leave, Will decides to break this staring fest. He saunters over to Mike, a drink clutched in one hand and a soft smile playing on his face.
“Scootch over,” He says when he gets to the couch. Wordlessly, Mike moves over slightly, not to the other end of the seat but enough that Will can slot in, which he does. His right thigh presses against Mike's left, and their arms have to sort of tangle to be comfortable. Mike turns to look at Will.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Mike puts on a faux fancy accent and raises an eyebrow questioningly.
“What? I can’t come hang out with my best friend at a party?” Will mirrors the boy's silly face. Then they both smile and relax into the seat.
“You’ve been drinking,” Mike states. “I can smell it on your breath,”
“Well, Michael, it is a party, that is allowed.” Will smiles, “And you're not much better, what are you even drinking?” Will leans over and sniffs Mike's cup. He wrinkles his nose. “Mike, what even is that?” He sniffs it again and gags this time, “How much peach schnapps is in there?”
Mike snatches his cup away. “Hey! I don’t judge you for liking those bright orange vodka concoctions you drink, don't hate the schnapps!”
“The schnapps?”
“Yeah…” Mike laughs at himself. He puts his drink on the floor and turns his body towards Will. “Anyway, why are you really here? Shouldn't you be off wooing some guy?
“Wow, who says I’m not wooing you right now?” Will laughs, but Mike doesn’t pay his joke any notice.
“No, I mean that guy earlier, he seemed really into you,” Will frowns. He can’t even remember talking to a guy, let alone one who was interested in him.
“I don’t even know who you mean,” Will shrugs, “And besides, I’d much rather hang out with you,”
Mike's eyes light up at this. He leans imperceptibly forward. Will blushes bright red in the face and panics; he’s given way too much, he needs to distract Mike, and quickly.
“Well, if you stop the whole staring game,” Will immediately regrets saying it. How is bringing up the staring supposed to make this less awkward? What if Mike never was staring? What if Will was actually the one staring, after all, you can't see a starer without staring yourself. And he doesnt even hate the staring! He doesn’t want it to stop!
Beside him, Mike is blinking thoughtfully at him. He seems to be pondering something, not quite sure himself what to say. His eyes scan over Will’s face intensely. Will watches the thought piece together through Mike’s eyes; he watches the cogs turn, and a decision is made. What decision? That wasn’t so clear.
“I’d say I’m sorry, but,” Mike pauses, “I’m really not at all.”
Mike's face burns with emotion, and the intensity of his eyes makes Will look away for a moment. The lull of the party ongoing in the background seems to fade away. If he focuses really hard, he can hear his friends outside, but the rest is just muffled. Will frowns deeper. He really doesn’t know what that means; he's about to ask when Mike talks again.
“I mean, it’s your fault.” Mike’s eyes dart quickly to Will’s lips.
Will blinks. Did he really see that? No, it means nothing. His heart rate quickens despite this. “What?” He shakes his head, “I didn't- I-” He stops himself and shoots Mike a questioning glance.
Mike's gaze breaks as he puts his face in his hands and groans. When he looks up, Will notices his red cheeks, from alcohol or embarrassment, Will doesn't know, but he knows for sure it's cute.
“God, I dunno, maybe I shouldn't be saying this. It’s probably the alcohol,” Mike pauses and glances down at his cup on the floor as if to ask it. “Yeah, it’s definitely the alcohol,” He laughs to himself.
Will doesnt laugh, instead he leans closer.
“Say what?” Will presses. He wills Mike to look back up at him, curiosity bringing bright and hope burning brighter.
Mike seems to think again. He hums out loud to himself and mumbles something under his breath that Will doesn’t quite catch. They sit in silence for a minute longer then -
“You look good, is all”, Mike mumbles half-heartedly, as though it were the most nonchalant sentence known to man. As though Will’s heart hasn't jumped up into his throat and is threatening to stop if he dares try to speak. As though Will isn't suddenly overly aware of every inch of his body, how his hair is sitting, how much weight he is leaning into Mike, where his hands sit folded lamely on his lap.
“Oh,”
Oh!
Will takes a sharp breath in, and Mike finally looks up. They stare at one another for a second before either of them speaks.
“Thank you?” Will squeaks in a voice far too high to be his own.
Mike's face crumbles, and he stands suddenly, shocking Will back into the couch.
“Sorry, I shouldn't have spoken, it was stupid,” He says the last part mostly to himself. Then he turns and rushes out of the room. Will can't move at first; he just stares at the spot Mike was standing a second before, then he follows the boy. By the time he reaches the hall, he only sees the back of Mike's body disappear past couples making it on the stairs into the depths of the second floor. Will climbs the stairs two at a time and stares blankly at the row of doors. Screw this super big house and its expansive collection of rooms.
He brazenly opens the first door and finds some girl he used to know from chemistry having a heavy make-out session with a boy he didn't quite recognise. They seemed not to even notice his presence, but that didn't stop Will from rushing to close the door. Cautiously, he opened the next few, empty save for one with a very drunk, sleepy group of friends having a heart-to-heart in the little hours of the night. Will is about to give up when he hears the muffled sounds of self-reprimanding coming from the room one over.
He knocks and opens the door. Mike is mid-pace when he sees Will. He stops in his tracks and swallows so deeply that Will can see his Adam's apple bob up and down.
Will steps into the room and silently closes the door. “Mike, what are you doing?”
Mike looks down, “Nothing.”
“No, no, it's not nothing.” Will scrapes a hand through his hair, now finally growing free of his old bowl cut look. “Mike, I’m confused. You say I look good, then run up here suddenly, and now you are being all weird”
“I’m not being weird!”
“Yes, yes, you are, look at you!” Will gestures to the floor where Mike has yet to look up.
“Will please, I feel stupid,”
“You should!”
Mike looks up at this, his face full of questions.
Will moves forward firmly, his eyebrows in a permanent frown.
“You should feel stupid”, he repeats, “You spend hours, if not days, staring at me, saying nothing, making me feel insane! Only for it to simply be because I look good?” Will scoffs, “That's stupid! Next time, just tell me and save yourself the eye strain!”
Mike scoffs this time, and he begins to pace again. “You wouldn't understand, Will! I feel so stupid! I thought it was so obvious and i was just waiting for you to I dont know acknowledge it! I thought everyone knew! I thought you knew!”
“Knew what?!”
“Knew I loved you!”
Will freezes.
“But you don't know it,” Mike continues, “You don't know it, and now when I say you look good you're just like repulsed or something, probably laughing at me in your head and you don't care, and I'm the idiot believing maybe you knew and maybe you…” He pauses. “I don't know,” He sighs like the balloon again and finally sits down.
Will's thoughts race through his head. It's like his life is replaying through his head, except only the times he caught Mike staring. He feels his chest grow heavy with hop,e but doesnt quite let the thought permeate his mind, not fully allowing himself to believe, not again.
“You love me? You? Love me?” Will speaks slowly.
Mike gives him a look as though it were obvious.
Will is staring now. HE blinks once. Then he blinked again. Then he gets mad.
“Mike Wheeler, are you telling me that this whole time I've been telling myself there's no point in liking you, telling myself to get over it. Telling myself that even when you came out you wouldn't want me because we’re friends - best friends? That this whole time you've loved me? The whole time?”
Mike winces, “Yeah?” then he gives what can only be described as a puppy dog smile and Will breaks.
He crosses the floor, cups his hands around Mike's cheeks, and gently pulls the taller boy up to his full height.
“You really are an idiot," he says, then he breathes in and presses his lips against Mike's. The other boy responds immediately, his hands jumping up to Will's own cheeks and pressing his lips deeper into Will's. Will feels Mike curl his body down to touch as much of Will as possible. Suddenly, the party is super loud downstairs, but that doesnt stop them. Mike moans joyfully into Will's lips. Will feels him smile against his lips and can't help but mirror the action.
They pull apart and stare at one another. Will bursts into laughter first, with Mike following suit. They smile silently, and Will feels a weight lift off his shoulders he hadn't realised; he was even holding. He looks over at the boy he’d loved since the first day they met. He traces his eyes over the freckles on his face, counts each eyelash, follows the parting of his hair and then finds his eyes back to his lips. He presses another kiss to Mike's lips, relishing in the fact that he can just do that now. He smiles to himself and thinks, god, the staring is really only going to get worse now.