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He had always known Phoenix Wright to be an asshole. Ever since the beginning.
Apollo had never choose for Kristoph to go to prison. Truly, it felt like in that trial, Phoenix was holding Apollo by the strings and moving him. It was Phoenix who had gotten Kristoph arrested, and without him, he might have gotten away with it. The thought of Kristoph murdering anyone would’ve never crossed apollos mind, if it hadn’t been for Phoenix Wright.
Now, he worked under the man. He had started working when the man didn’t even have a job.
In the months after that fateful trial, and before the phone call from Trucy, Apollo hadn’t been living well. An expensive Japanifornian apartment, barely large enough to breathe in, with only the salary from one trial. It’d been hell, eating salted and buttered ramen every night. Until he ran out of butter. And then salt. He would chew on his thumb and maybe some ice until he fell asleep hungry.
So, without much choice, he did take the job. He was starving, what choice was there?
It was more of a babysitting gig though, watching the fifteen year old child of Phoenix Wright, since “she doesn’t need school, Apollo.” Phoenix was much too overprotective, he worried that if trucy went to school, she would get involved with the wrong crowd.
Weeks of running around town with a fifteen year old at his hip turned into months. He liked Trucy, she was like a sister to him now, but it could be a hinderance sometimes. Especially visiting murder scenes. Blood was not for the faint of heart.
Eventually, Phoenix got his badge back. Met Athena. Clay died.
Apollo remembers the pain that gripped him when he found out clay had died. He sat in his bed, sobbing until he was light-headed. The image of his corpse was enough to leave him sick at the thought. He had lost his voice for a week after. He couldn’t bring himself to come into work, not in the state he was in. The grief made him sick to his stomach and every time he would try and sit up, the weight of everything would bring him back down to the mattress, where he’d wallow.
With matted hair he opened the door, to see Phoenix Wright in that tacky blue suit. He had clays jacket wrapped around his shoulders, and the bandages from the courtroom bombing sat limp on his chest, since he hadn’t had the energy to put them back on. His damaged eye was visible, burn scars marking the left side of his face.
“Apollo, thought I’d check in on you,” Phoenix answered. Rather cheerily, Apollo remembers, which is strange for he was talking to a man who was broken, and in need of repair.
He couldn’t really speak well, and didn’t have the energy to object when Phoenix entered and shut the screen door behind him.
“So, when exactly are you coming back to work,” he asked, pulling the blinds back in his living room. Apollo shielded his eyes as the light illuminated the trash he had left on the floor.
”what a mess,” Phoenix added, “really Apollo, you should take care of the place.”
Apollo was too stunned to even speak.
“Mr Wright,” Apollo stuttered, trying to refuse the reality of the words he was about to say “my best friend just died-“
”And?”
And. That’s what Phoenix had said.
“Look Apollo, I know you’re upset or whatever, but we need you back at the office, you can’t just mope around here because your friend died. Someone needs to help us out at the agency. I thought my best friend was dead for a year, and I still went back to work.”
Apollo glares at him. “Can’t you give me a fucking break?!” He yelled, as best as his hoarse voice could manage.
“Geez Apollo, didn’t mean to strike a nerve. All I meant is that- I mean, I got over Mia’s death pretty quickly, so why can’t you?”
He didn’t know how to respond. He fiddled with the drawstring of his sweatpants, unable to think of a response from the sheer anger he was enveloped with.
“Get out of my fucking house!”
When Phoenix rather begrudgingly left, Apollo sat in the bedroom closet and sobbed. That’s where Klavier found him.
When he’d finally got back to work, he was now working with both Athena and Trucy. The three would go out and investigate, leaving Apollo to usually walk alongside the chattering duo.
He thought of everyone as having someone at the agency, and except for him. Trucy had Athena, and Mr. Wright had miles Edgeworth. Usually he was left to his own devices at dinners, picking at food on his plate, waiting for the moment he could leave. Go home and put on Clays jacket and forget about the world.
Phoenix had tried to convince him to get rid of it. But he couldn’t. Clay didn’t have much, in terms of physical possessions, and this was the one thing he had left.
Phoenix called it “an unnecessary reminder of the past.”
Just like Kristoph.
He understood that what Kristoph did was understandably wrong, but the man had been like a second father to him. Just because Phoenix wright fumed at the mention of him, doesn’t mean Apollo had to. He looked fondly on the days when he and Kristoph would have a slow day and talk. There was a difference between the man who had made the perfect tea and played the violin, and the monster with the crazy look in his eye that he had witnessed in the courtrooms.
-
Mr Wright had been planning this dinner for a while. The only problem being that Apollo hated being social.
It was already hard enough. Being a lawyer meant talking to people all day long; so after a long day of trials and investigations, the last thing he wanted was to sit, and worry that people were watching him eat.
He hated conversation about all things legal (or illegal) at the table. He didn’t find it fitting. People were supposed to have fun talks at dinner, not about the current state of the jurist system and persistent use of bribery towards the jury. Even as a lawyer, it felt awkward. He felt left out. Because he knew that all these people had years more worth of experience under their belts. And with a larger belt than all of these people, shouldn’t Apollo have more experience to make up for it?
Not to mention, Klavier wouldn’t even be there. Phoenix said it was because Klavier was on the opposing side of the courtroom, and this was for the defense. However, that didn’t explain why miles Edgeworth would be joining them, although miles did live in the same apartment so that made some sense.
When he arrived at Mr wrights apartment, he let himself in and was greeted by a scene he could only call overwhelming. Everything was much too loud for him, and he gripped the edge of the ribbon wrapped under his sleeve. He’d won the trial today, but that left him utterly exhausted.
“Apollo!” It was Athena’s voice who greeted him. Part of him crumbled. He had always felt like Athena was the better liked of the two of them, as if Mr Wright was more proud of her. Maybe Mr Wright saw himself in the young successful attorney, but not the clumsy awkward Apollo.
He could see it in the way she twitched. She could hear his emotions loudly enough for it to cause discomfort.
What had always bothered Apollo was that, no matter how upset he could be, it seemed that Athena mattered more. Mr Wright always seemed to focus on Athena, clutching her ears, no matter who else was around or what was happening.
“Hey, Athena,” the exhaust was evident in his voice, and he sat down on the couch, legs stretched out onto the coffee table.
“We won the trial today!”
He knew what she meant. She and Phoenix had won a trial today. A big one at that. And Apollo was left on his own. Again.
“That’s awesome Athena! Congrats,” he said, giving her a high five. He couldn’t tell if he was jealous or proud. Jealous of phoenix’s obvious favoritism.
“Yep, she sure did great! Didn’t even have to help. If anything, she helped me!” He laughed, clapping her on the back. “It’s hard to think that I mentored both of these kids.”
Damnit, that hurt.
He laughed. “I’m just kidding you Apollo. Heard you won the trial today. Great job!”
He didn’t get a pat on the back.
Apollo sat on the floor, weaving some of trucy’s stray rainbow looms together with his fingers. She sat next to him, cheerily making conversation.
“And then, I pulled the dove out of the hat! Everyone clapped, I was so proud, and Daddy- Apollo, are you ok?”
He looked up, a bit shocked, and forced a smile.
“I’m fine truce. You can keep talking, pinkie promise I’m listening.”
She shifted uncomfortably. “You seem upset. Are you sure you’re ok? Y’know, you can lie down on the couch if-“
“Seriously, it’s alright. I’ll be ok, yeah? Now where were you? The dove in the hat?”
“If something is wrong you know you can tell me?”
“just let it go. Nothings wrong, I’m fine.”
Trucy left it at that. She knew Apollo wasn’t much for being serious, so when he spoke in that tone, that gruff, low voice, she knew he was being serious.
It had taken Apollo time to accept trucy as his, for lack of a better word, sidekick. He never was good around people, spending hours alone as a child playing in the woods, spending nights alone in the basement of their old home looking through pictures and boxes.
He wasn’t used to company, but over time Trucy had cracked that shell. Little by little, she’d ask Apollo simple questions, like “oh, what’s your favorite food?” And with this, he began to open up (whenever she asked, that is.) When she asked Apollo whether he had ever lost a parent, they sat in Apollo’s car, and he confide about his life. That’s when Trucy told him about her gramarye name sake. How he left her in the middle of the court, and the newly disbarred and broken Phoenix Wright had taken her under his wing. The Phoenix Wright she described was a far cry from the Phoenix Wright of today. The seven years gap had torn him apart and the fresh skin of a new man underneath was revealed. Looking at photos of the old Phoenix, it was like night and day. Like comparing a small child to a grown man.
Unfortunately, ever since Athena came along, Trucy had gravitated more towards her. It was slow at first, like a dog who was just adopted. But she started to join Athena more than she joined Apollo. Maybe it’s because they were both women. Or maybe it was because she looked up to Athena more. Each rejection trucy made to one of apollos requests to join, stating ‘I’m sorry Polly, I’m going with Athena instead!’ It broke him a bit. He was loosing a person who he cared for. While he still had Klavier, the man was on the opposite side of the courtroom. Even though they loved each other, it was painful to go against him. It felt like they were challenging the love they had for each other.
“Alright everyone, dinners ready!” He heard Phoenix call. He sat down at the dinner table, sandwiched in between Athena and Edgeworth.
He filled the plate with an inedible looking meatloaf Phoenix was responsible for. A bit of salad, some mashed potatoes, a standard dinner the in Wright and Edgeworth house. He felt sick, no appetite. Not because of the meal (if he was feeling ok, it would have been), but because of the crippling anxiety washing over him. He fiddled with the food with a fork.
“So Apollo,” miles began, after Phoenix had finished with another story of a far gone and convoluted case. It was apollos turn to share with the class. “How are you?”
Everyone eyed him, chewing in the wake of a response.
“Actually- uhm, there’s something I’d like to tell you all.” Everyone eyed each other, as Apollo couldn’t help but to regret the words that didn’t even seem to come from his own mouth anymore.
“Well- Klavier and I- are dating. Now.”
Phoenix wore a frown on his face, every time. At each mention of Klavier. It was because of two things:
One: the diary entry. Although Kristoph was behind the whole diary entry, Klavier was blamed. Nothing much more to say, only that it was the object that broke his career, and winning streak.
Two: the similarities. While being polar opposites, the two wore the same hair, which was enough for Phoenix. Both have faces sculpted by the gods themselves, chiseled jaw line and bright blue eyes, covered by their thick eye lashes. It didn’t matter how much makeup Klavier wore, how much he denied his poor eyesight just so he didn’t have to look like the man, who he looked up to and refused to be like.
The disappointment in Phoenix's face scared him. It was disgraced, disappointing to the boy in front of him. Apollo knew it was because of Klavier that Phoenix had become more distant.
He waited for a response, and eventually, after what felt like much longer than it truly was, Phoenix spoke.
“Oh.”
Apollo took visible damage at that. As if she could sense, trucy quickly tried to cover up her fathers comment with a bit of comfort.
“Congrats!! That’s so cool that my future brother-in-law is gonna be a rockstar!”
With that, there came a few awkward laughs from Athena and miles, who cut the meatloaf on their plate instead of the tension in the room with possible words.
Edgeworth quickly changed the subject, but Apollo didn’t know. This had been building up for weeks, and the each night he lay awake thinking of a way to tell Phoenix. He imagined various scenarios; Phoenix yelling and throwing a half-drank glass of wine at the wall or smiling like a proud father; but not this.
The static in his ears grew loud, and...
It hurt horribly. His chest began to feel tight, and he fiddled with his fingers to ease the pressure. He ran his thumb over the chipped nail polish on his fingernails. He tried to stomach some of the salad, but failed. Something about sitting there, listening to Phoenix talk after he had just said something so painful to Apollo's already fragile image of him hurt.
At one point, Phoenix had felt like a father to him. He’d never known a true father, but his own idol appeared from nowhere and offered a hand, he couldn’t even begin to imagine refusing.
But it seemed as Apollo and Klavier grew closer, it only pushed Phoenix farther away. Even now, sitting at a dinner with his so-called found family, he felt miles away. Shoved into the corner like a forgotten toy, because something else came a long.
They laughed all together, and Apollo stood up, excusing himself.
He barely made it down the hallway, and had to balance himself against the wall in order to keep from falling to the floor. He knew from the ache in his chest and the tears slipping that it was too late to stop a breakdown.
In the bathroom, he locked the door. He dropped to his knees, in front of the toilet, and heaved. Tears poured down his cheeks, and his hands gripped harder onto the seat of the toilet to try and stop the sobs escaping his mouth. It was too much, all too much. Everything that had happened, everything that Phoenix Wright had done- it ruined his life. Everything tasted like ramen; just the thought made him heave again.
He rested his cheek against the plastic of the toilet seat, the nights dinner falling unrecognizably from his lips. He closed his eyes. He could imagine clays hand on his back, soothing him. And that only made him cry harder. Clay, the only one who cared about him, six feet under. It wasn’t fair-
“Apollo? Are you ok?!” Since when had he not locked the door? It was Edgeworth's. He lifted his head from the seat of the toilet, scooting backwards to rest his head on his knees.
“Please leave. I’m fine.”
“You aren’t, you obviously aren’t.”
”I can deal with this on my own, please leave.”
“Apollo- is this about…?”
“You wouldn’t fucking understand!” He yelled. Big mistake.
Phoenix stood in the doorway, Athena standing next to him. Trucy had bent down next to Apollo, a hand on his back.
“Polly! What’s going on, are you ok?”
He reared back, so that Trucy’s hand was off of his shoulder. “Leave,” he sobbed, “leave goddamnit, stop all of this!”
He only felt worse when he saw Mr Wright, standing next to Athena, who had also started to freak out from apollos extreme emotion.
“Apollo, please,” he started. “I need you to calm down- Athena-“
“This isn’t about Athena!” He screamed at Wright. The four looked at him, as he continued on. “Why is it always about Athena?! I’m here too! As soon as she came everyone forgot I was here too, because she’s better- and I’m just old news- if im so worthless why do you keep me around?! To punch?!”
”Trucy, would you do me a favor and call Mr. Gavin?”
“Yeah, act as if nothing happened! Have Klavier come here and save me so you can distract me long enough to feign some weakass apology and continue the cycle all over again! I’m the one upset here, goddamnit! Why is it that you focus all your attention on Athena when I work for you too!” His voice broke, sobbing into closed eyes. “God damnit, you call me your son but you treat me like some freak! Will you ever understand that maybe I don't want you to call someone to deal with me for you!?"
“Apollo, seriously- I don’t mean for it to be that way-“
”Stop! With your excuses, you just think im worthless, don’t you?! You only keep me around because I got your ass off the hook! You don’t mean for it to be, but it still fucking is, isn’t it?” Convince Apollo he's worth more than few moments of your time and use him like the tool he is!" Apollo yelled, grasping at his hair in order to prevent himself from hitting Phoenix across the face.
“Apollo, please. You know I don’t think that.” He tried to reach out, attempting to place a cold and unwarranted hand on the broken attorneys back.
“How can I trust you? You, you lied to me. The first time I met you, you lied to a fresh attorney. You could’ve gotten me disbarred, with that fifth ace. You got Kristoph arrested, because of a goddamn piece of forged evidence, do you see the irony?!”
Phoenix looked a cross between shocked and upset, and the two that remained in the room, Edgeworth and Wright, stared.
Phoenix sat down on the linoleum, crossing his legs and sitting across from Apollo.
”Is this what this is about? Kristoph?” He asked, voice growing quiet.
"You can try to understand, but you'll never be able to. You can deny it all you want, but Kristoph meant something to me."
He paused to try and gather his thoughts. The brunette stared up at Phoenix, feeling smaller and more fragile than he ever had before.
"Apollo..." Phoenix spoke. "How long have you been feeling this way?" He sounded hurt. Maybe Apollo had taken it too far.
“Things have been so hard since clay died. Those weeks I was alone, and you finally came to my house, and didn’t even ask if I was ok- it broke me.” He admitted. “And Athena came, and you only care about her now, and-“ Apollos voice dropped to a whisper. “I felt cared for when Kristoph was here. I feel so alone now. I miss him. Every time you look at me, I- I don’t- I feel so useless compared to trucy or Athena or-“
In that second he paused, he saw Phoenix's face. He looked absolutely destroyed. He felt horrible, but at the same time, he second guessed himself. Why should he feel bad when Phoenix tore him to shreds, in search of anything he could use, and used the lie that he was worth something as an excuse to continue searching for what he himself lost?
Then, the dam broke. He couldn’t stop. This was more emotional than he’d been since clay died. Maybe the death, mixed with everything else, maybe it was all too much. He sobbed into his folded arms, as Phoenix and miles could only watch. It only grew worse, now he was struggling to grasp a breath. Phoenix settled a hand on his knee, and for the first time… for the first time since Athena came around, he felt that same care from Phoenix Wright that he did after kristophs arrest.
“Oh Apollo, honey… it’s ok, just cry it all out.”
“It’s not ok! My mentor is god knows where! Nobody has told me. I want to see him, at least one more time…” he repeats the phrase like a mantra.
Phoenix didn’t answer. He didn’t know where Kristoph was either, whether he was alive or dead. But, considering that the death penalty made someone wait at least five or ten years, chances were Kristoph is still alive. But he himself... he believed that it was best that Apollo not see Kristoph again; dead or alive.
In the years that Phoenix had known Kristoph, he was a manipulative man. And, Apollo was a victim of that. One of his playthings; a rag doll he could dress up however he pleases. Kristoph was the puppet master who twisted Apollo's strings this way and that, tying him up in a web of half-baked truth's and outright lies he created, before leaving that play-thing on the floor and forgotten. Phoenix had managed to untwist those ties Kristoph himself had started to make on Phoenix (that is, with the help of those he loved and cared for now). But he knew Apollo was different. Whereas Phoenix had been into his mid-to-late 20s when he had first coagulated with Kristoph, Apollo was still merely a child. Young eyes full of hope, he could never imagine what lay beneath Kristoph's cold and unmoving facade.
But then, then came Klavier...
If anything, the disgraced attorney's brother had unearthed the real Kristoph to Apollo; not Phoenix. Like a diamond in the rough, Klavier shone even when Apollo couldn't see.
And there Klavier stood in the doorway, where Trucy had led him.
“Oh Liebling,” he cooed. Phoenix moved aside so Klavier could sit by apollos side. The shorter one fell into his arms, and Klavier wrapped his own arms around apollos back, smoothing back the fabric of Apollo's shirt with one hand and cradling his head with the other. He felt each tremble, and wished only to take away the pain.
“What happened?”
That was the question. What had made Apollo so upset?
“I just want to be cared for like everyone else… one more time..”
“You are, by me and all the others in this house.”
”I mean, I want to have someone.”
“Do I not count?”
“Yes- but I mean, like at the agency. You,” he said, pointing at Phoenix, “have Mr Edgeworth. And trucy has Athena. And I’m alone.”
“Is that what this is about?” Phoenix asked, to which Apollo nodded.
He felt like such a child, surrounded by the people he cared about while sobbing into the taller man’s arms. Everyone could only sit and watch as Apollo broke down.
“I know- I know it might be pointless coming from me now, but- Apollo, I- fuck, I’m sorry about everything with Kristoph.”
Klavier’s grip tightened on Apollo's shirt.
“And you too, Klavier. I just- I guess- don’t get me wrong! I’m happy for you, but… you truly to remind me of Kristoph. I guess that’s why I reacted the way I did.”
Big mistake. Klavier stayed as calm as he could, because getting angry was only going to frighten Apollo in an already fragile state.
He saw the exhaustion in apollos eyes, and waited till he had tired himself out of tears and lay his head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
“There’s no need for this right now, Phoenix Wright.”
“Yeah. Sorry.”
And for that moment, frozen still, they all sat in the bathroom and watched Apollo. Apollo, held sturdy in the arms of Prosecutor Klavier Gavin. Two unlikely people, who had found each other through one common wound.
“Would you like to go home?”
He felt Apollo nod against his chest, and hoisted him easily.
“We’ll talk later, ok Apollo?” Phoenix confirmed. Half asleep, Apollo nodded along to what he said.
Phoenix looked unbelievably guilty, and if Apollo could see the mans face he'd probably break out into another fit of tears.
“We love you Polly!” Trucy wished.
But he couldn’t believe those words for even a second.
And as he was carried in Klavier's arms, away form the washed out world of Attorney's and prosecutors, villains and heroes, that had once intrigued him as a child, he felt solace in Klavier's arms. Despite his world being torn bit for bit by two different men in two different shades of blue, one variable was constant. Despite both their pasts, the two now had each other, after a night of pressed emotions being forced out of him, Apollo sank into a deep sleep next to Klavier Gavin. And there he would stay, until the next day. But for now, the worries of the past were gone, and he wasn't a protege of Kristoph Gavin or Phoenix wright; he was only Apollo Justice.