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Dear Mike,
My hands are shaking while writing this, but I don't think I'm coming out of this fight alive. And I know, I know I should trust El, trust you, but there's a part of me that knows deep down that this is it. I couldn't say this to you, couldn't stomach the look on your face if I told you I'm going to die. My connection to the upside down, to him, it's still there. Which means, if Vecna dies, there's a good chance I will too. I don't want to worry anyone, not anymore. I've had enough of people treating me like I'm glass. And you're the only person who's always just seen me.. Which is why I'm writing this, by the time you read this I'll be dead. And if not, I will be burning this
because I need to come clean. No more
secrets.
Mike, you're my best friend, but I need to be honest with you.
My whole life, I've always been different. If the kids at school weren't reminding me, my father was there to remind me why being different meant I was a mistake. But when I was with you, God, you made me feel like I'm not a mistake, like I'm better for being different. Sound familiar? Confession 1, Mike, the painting wasn't really Els feelings. Everything I told you that day in the van, it was all me. And I'm so sorry for lying to you. But, it was better to lie to you then tell you the truth and lose my best friend. I know what I hope for can never happen. Not without hurting Jane, hurting you, and I'm scared Mike. I'm so scared but I don't want to be. Not of this.
Confession 2, Mike I think I'm in love with you. No, i know I'm in love with you, and I have been since the days and nights you
were there for me when that darkness was stuck inside. I didn't think I deserved it, everything you did for me. When you feel this broken, it feels like nothing good can ever come again. But you, you were that piece of happiness I clung to every time the darkness came back. And I felt so
guilty for feeling the love I have for you. I mean, my sister is in love with you, and you love her..
But it hurt more to try to push you away than it did to just stand by your side and watch. Watch you and El be happy while I smiled and listened to you every time you talked about her.
I tried so hard too, to ignore what I felt towards you. To pretend how much it didn't hurt when you spoke those words to me that rainy summer night. How terrified I was that one day you were going to realize that I couldn't be fixed and how you were
better off never meeting me in the first place. I just love you so much Mike.
I love how much you lead our party, how much you care for our friends. I love your stupid jokes, your stories, I love how excited you get during our campaigns. Despite everything, every harsh word we spoke to each other, my heart keeps leading me right back to you. And I know it's stupid to think you would ever love me back. Which is why I never told anyone.
It was easier to live in a dream than to wake up in a nightmare where my father was right about how the world would treat me.
You were my knight, my knight who always protected me from the darkness. At least that's how I always saw you. When the darkness, that disgusting darkness was in me, still in me, it felt like I would never feel like myself again. But when I was with you, i felt whole, felt so light when we hung out that it made me forget that any of that
horrible stuff happened to me in the first place.
If we beat Vecna everything will go back to normal, but in a way, if I die, I'll also be free. I'm running out of time to write so let me wrap this up.
Mike, never stop being the heart. Trust me, the party needs you, just like how I will always need you. And I know, I know what I'm asking for is terrible, to just let my death happen, to move on. And I'm not scared to die, with everything that happened not anymore. I think, im more scared of the fact that I will never see you again. But if it means protecting Holly, the kids, from going through what I had to go through, I would choose death over and over if it meant that no one else had to get hurt, that you wouldn't get hurt. Promise me Mike, promise that you'll stay by the
party, you wont push anyone away, for me please.
I will always be your best friend, your sorcerer, Will the Wise.
I love you Mike
-Will