Work Text:
The following excerpt was extracted from one of the fallen branches of the former L. Corp. This branch was known for being one of the most dangerous branches that had been unearthed. Shortly after recovery, it was quickly buried again. Certain aspects of this record have been censored, for the mental wellbeing of those reading. We strongly suggest the secrets buried do not be unearthed.
My bedroom had always been a place where I could be relaxed. Where I could rest my weary mind. Almost every day, without fail, I could rest and cleanse my mind of impurities before work tomorrow. It was definitely something I needed, as I had already encountered many horrors at my new post.
Lobotomy Corporation… what an establishment, indeed. I would curse all it stands for, but they are the only reason that my parents can make it. Because of me, my mother and father were able to move into the nest. For the first time, we're safe from the backstreets’ terror.
And yet, the nightmare never ends. From my first day, I knew one thing for certain- I would bear these sins, these awful sights, till the day I die. But even then, I could bear it. It was not an unfamiliar sight to see my coworker be torn in two by that lantern creature. I've seen sweepers do worse. Neither was it unfamiliar when I faced the end of a gun barrel, and the threat of a bullet that would never miss. I've seen my fair share of blackmail and extortion. I almost got deja vu when my co-workers, laid to rest, folded their arms as Butterflies alighted upon their visage.
No, if this was the extent of it, I could survive. I could live.
At least, that was what I thought.
I look around my bedroom. It's quiet again. It's always quiet here. Dark, too. These things, I used to be grateful for. The solace of silence is a welcome rest for my weary mind. But tonight… the shadows move, and the quiet fills with that awful sound…
Ugh, my head…
It's been two weeks since I've started working with it. I'll never forget the first time I worked with it. Mind you, I've been through so many horrors. I've witnessed some of the greatest cruelty this damn city has to offer, and yet…
That day, for the first time, I froze up. My legs locked in fear, and I looked down the throat of a truly monstrous form. I could not describe it. No word I used would ever do it justice. Abhorrent? Worse. Disgusting? That would be like calling an ocean wet. Wait… what does that mean? AGH, my head… whenever I think about it, I feel as if my mind begins to melt.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
My alarm clock rings with the force to rouse me from my slumber, but my eyes have hardly closed all night. No matter. I rub them, and rise from my covers. Pulling a cord, I turn on the overhead light. The room is instantly illuminated, and the shadows flee to their corners. For a moment, my heart is filled with gloom. That quiet shall never offer me solace again. However, I quickly paint over my thoughts with duty. Work must be done. I don my suit and prepare for departure.
The ride there is no issue. It's not a hard drive, by any means. In fact, it's not that hard of a job, either. Some employees find themselves rarely performing works on abnormalities at all. ‘No, it's not that hard…’ These are the thoughts that filled my head as I drove to work today.
I swipe my card and head in. The halls are filled with rows of containment units, holding bizarre creatures. I've seen them all at least once. I can't say I've worked on each one, but I'm familiar with each. I peer into the unit of one such abnormality.
Inside the containment unit stands what seems to be a man. His head is cloaked in dark blue flame. He wears a great cloak of blue and gold, and the magic gun is leaning against his shoulder as he holds it with one arm. Through the grim veil of flames, two bright blue streaks peer back. I have conversed with this man before… no, apologies. Abnormality. Company policy forbids the treatment of abnormalities as “human”. Still, I recall that conversation…
“Aren't you curious? Of the bullet?” They had said…
“Curiousity is dangerous. I would rather stick to my job.”
I believe that was the gist of it? But even still, he had made a terrible noise. It was like… laughter?
“So you have no need for the bullet that never misses? That checks out, I see. After all, peering into your soul…” He paused for a moment.
“No emotion, no feeling. Only a hand to pull the trigger. This is the path I tread, and it will become your path, too. Regardless, at the end of that road, inevitably, an inferno awaits.”
I gave him no answer. I had no answer to give, after all. I did not need company policy to hold my tongue for me. Ever since then, his words have lingered in my head.
The sound of my shoes against the hard tile fills the empty hallway. None of my coworkers have yet arrived. That's just fine with me. I am not a talkative man. Even without a thought, my legs carry me onward. After all, it is quite the walk to my destination. The Extraction Department.
It was a rather new department in this branch, which had stood for so long without site burial: a monument of achievement. Despite that, more and more dangerous abnormalities have been shipped to this branch day after day. I have recently been assigned to work on… on… ouch, my head. It doesn't exactly have a name. Most call it by its classification code, 0-03-89. However, there is a rumor that some of the higher ups have given it a different name… ‘[CENSORED]’. Apparently, this name originated from the managers specially designed cognition filter. According to the rumors, this abnormality was so awful they could not illustrate its appearance in any conceivable way. They simply had to give it the form of a cluster of “Censored” bars. Lucky manager… that damn coward doesn't even have to look at the thing, let alone-!
I sigh. I almost caught myself cursing our manager. Such a thing is not in my place. I must do my job, nothing more. I've seen that creature only twice before, but I'm not eager to see it again. If they order me to work on it today, I will have no choice. I can almost feel my humanity begin to slip away…
“Hey! Good morning, ray of sunshine!”
I look up. It's my coworker, Jane. Looks like they decided to show, after all.
“So, Corvin. What's up man? You look pretty down.”
I would have a pretty hard time telling her, wouldn't I?
“...My head has been hurting, recently.”
“Are you sure it's just your head? You look like a mess, man.”
I have recently developed an aversion to these types of social interaction. Small talk… just talking at all makes my skin crawl. I look up at her. I'm not quite sure what expression I'm making, but she jumps back.
“Corvin… you should probably go try some counseling.”
“I said, I'm fine.”
“It's not that abnormality you're working with? Everyone was so surprised when you were able to manage it without a problem, but I guess even you couldn't come out unscathed…”
“I told you Jane, there is nothing wrong with me.”
“Well, I think there HAS to be something wrong with you, to look at something like that, and not even flinch.”
I get up to leave, but Jane puts her right hand on my left shoulder, turning me about to face her.
“Please Corvin… I'm worried about you.”
As the team captain, if Jane refers me to counseling… I'll have no choice but to report to Ms. Hod. I'll probably end up hooked on enkephalin…
“Please don't, Jane. I…”
I put my right arm on her left shoulder, too.
“I'll make it work, Jane. We'll get out of here, won't we?”
A single tear rolls down her cheek. “Corvin… I don't want to lose you. There's been so much that's happened in this facility…”
I pull her into a hug. “Don't worry. We'll be fine. It's alright, see? I'm here.” We hold each other before she pulls away. Looking into her teary eyes, I feel…
Nothing. For almost a solid minute, I stare at her, before this realization strikes me. There was a time when there was nothing I wanted more than the woman that stood in front of me. And yet, now… I feel as if bars have been stamped all over my mind. My head throbs in pain.
“Corvin? Are you ok?”
I shake it off. “It's nothing. I'm fine.” However, there's something in her eyes that holds my attention.
“What is it? Is there something you have to tell me?”
“It's just… you've been asked to work with 0-03-89 again, today.”
It takes me a few moments to process this new information. I breathe. I breathe again. And yet, no terror comes. No fear fills my body. This… doesn't scare me as much as I thought it would.
“Alright. I'll handle it. I always have.”
My hands are shaking. I don't want to look at it. My mind is paralyzed with fear. And yet, my legs move. I walk, and I walk, and I find myself at that door again. A few buttons pressed later, I find myself there at the unit again. I check my watch: 8:27. At 8:30, the work process will begin. I check my belt. I've strapped my radio there. No harm in checking, I suppose. The radio crackles, static filling my ears, before a voice comes on.
“Are you ready for work today? Come on, cheer up! You're probably the only one who can.”
I stare down the hall aimlessly as the words feed into my ears. They don't mean much to me in particular.
“You know, when this abnormality was delivered to our facility, I had my doubts. I wasn't sure anyone could work with it. You really saved all our buttons, y'know that?”
In response, I mutter unenthusiastically into the microphone. I have no enthusiasm for this exchange. “Get to the point. What kind of work am I doing today?”
“The manager has requested insight work. When you are ready, please head into the containment room.” I grab a clipboard off the wall. Following the command, I step forward. The doors open to me, and I step into the holding room.
There it is. Sweat beads on my brow, fear grabs a hold of my mind. I can't look at it, I can't look at it… I pick up my clipboard, and kneel on the ground. Calm down… count down from ten. What was ten again? Nevermind, there's work… work to be done… how do I do Insight work? My head hurts so much. My legs are shaking. And in the midst of that fear that paralyzes my body, I look up.
Far from the horror that first consumed my sanity when I saw it for the first time, the thing that first scares me is how I can look at this so… calmly. My head doesn't hurt anymore. I just sat there. Absent mindedly scribbling on the clipboard. My ears are ringing. Someone's crying for help… I can hear it all. The whispering of the moon, the sound of the stars…
Corvin…
“Corvin? Hello? CORVIN! YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THERE!”
I snap back to attention. [CENSORED] surrounded me, [CENSORED] my arms, [CENSORED] my flesh. I pull away gently, and the [CENSORED] yields. That's strange. Slowly and carefully, I back away and out of the containment unit. When I finally get out, a small group of employees are standing outside. They all wear a look of equal horror on their face. I hang my clipboard on the wall. What was I drawing? It looks kind of strange. My co-workers stare in horror.
“Corvin… you… what happened?”
What are they talking about? I just did the work. “I performed my work.”
“B-but… your face… there's…”
Strange. My vision does feel slightly blurry, but I haven't really had a problem.
“Excuse me, everyone.”
I turn around. Ah, it's Binah, the sephirah of this floor. These robots organize the departments. Our extraction team is run by her, with only the manager superseding her authority. “Corvin has been bequeathed an E.G.O. gift. No worries, its effects are beneficial.” These words seemingly do nothing to soothe the nerves of my fellow employees, who shiver with fear. “Corvin, please come with me. You have been authorized for [CENSORED]’s E.G.O. weapon. This way, please.”
The next few hours were a haze. I went with Binah and retrieved the E.G.O. weapon. It's like a claw, I suppose. I never looked at it too closely. No one ever looked at me after that, either. Whenever I walked through the halls, they were empty.
Later that day, the alarm went off. It blared throughout the facility, as green lights illuminated every hallway. I was used to something like this. “Ordeals” they're called. At the end of the hallway, robotic creatures start to crawl from the works. Some of them have great stakes on their arms, others have large saws and rifles. It looks like the noon of green. Better get to work. I simply stride down the hall. With this strange [CENSORED] in my hand, I approach them. Some bullets lodge themselves in my shoulder, but I barely bat an eye. The E.G.O. mostly absorbs them, anyway. With one great sweep, I [CENSORED] their [CENSORED], and they crumpled to pieces. The creatures begin to mob me. “That's right… Ms. Binah said this E.G.O. could [CENSORED]...” Another employee enters the door at the far end of the hallway. Even as I reduce the monsters to pieces, his face twists with abject horror.
“Come on. What's with that face? I simply [CENSORED].” The lights return to their normal color. The ordeal is over. And yet, this employee bears their weapon. His voice is shaky, and breaks as he quivers. “Y-you… you're a monster… you're just like them… we're all going to die in this place, aren't we? Die, or become monsters ourselves.”
How curious. I could almost feel something like amusement. I've witnessed my fair share of panic in this place. And some employees do kill others, true. The mental corruption on this one has gone up.
“W-what are you doing?”
I lumber down the hall. My feet carry me, even though I have no will to walk. “Company policy… panicking employees should be left for dead.”
“NO! STOP! I'LL… I'LL KILL YOU!” These words mean nothing to me. Did any words ever mean anything? My feet carry me onwards. “Dammit… open the door! OPEN THE DOOR!” That employee bangs on the hatch. Tears streamed down his face. “I WANNA GO HOME! I HATE THIS! I HATE YOU ALL!” I lifted my E.G.O. weapon aloft. I was only a few feet away from him. He pressed his back against the wall, as if he could phase through it.
“Company policy dictates…” I whisper. Silent words, meant for no one, but only to carry myself onward. To do what had to be done.
“You… you [CENSORED]!!! GET AWAY!”
[The following exchange has been redacted as a whole, as we had no way to redact it without causing concerning levels of mental corruption.]
“Haaaa… hah.” I stood alone, in the empty hall. Only corpses surround me. “Back to work.”
To the containment unit. Back to work. Back to my purpose. I have an abnormality to manage. I have [CENSORED]. And as long as I have that, I have all that I need.
“CORVIN! WHAT ARE YOU…”
Hands gripping my shoulders. I look up. Jane stares into my eyes, or whatever remains there.
“Corvin… you… you need to go to counseling… please…” Her eyes well up. Pain, sorrow, all folly.
“Counseling won't help me, Jane. Counseling is for the troubled mind, but in this facility… my mind is not troubled, but rather at peace.”
“BULLSHIT! I want you… to be ok. I want that Corvin back! I miss your smile, your kindness! I want to see Corvin again!”
I simply follow her gaze. Is Corvin still there?
…No. I doubt it.
“Jane, are you panicking? You seem to be experiencing mental corruption. If I may suggest-” I am cut off by her sudden change in expression.
“Yes, you're right. See you later, Corvin. I have work to do,” Jane whispers.
I simply walk away. My feet will carry me. The procession lasts for an indiscriminate amount of time, before I find myself at that containment unit again. The first time and the time after, I had to be eased into the unit, as if it was a cold pool of water, but now? I didn't feel the temperature anymore. A few buttons is all it takes to open the latches. Seconds later, I find myself inside.
There it is. Across the room. An indescribable mound of something. Tendrils coil around the empty room, and various appendages stick out at odd angles. That's odd, what kind of work was I performing? I stood there, in that same position, for almost 30 minutes. Just watching. Observing. Taking in this sight. I don't hate it, not really. After all, fear is just a construct, isn't it? Such violence, such gore… just happenstance. I should be glad, perhaps.
That anything happens at all.
After that day, my life became like a blur. I could hardly [CENSORED].
I can't look in the [CENSORED] anymore. I only see the [CENSORED]. It covers my eyes, my face, my body, my mind. They called it a gift. An honor. A privilege. The [CENSORED]
I hold the E.G.O. weapon every day. I've become so used to those alarms now. They fill the facility. They fill my [CENSORED]. Every moment, of every day.
I haven't seen Jane in a while… I wonder if she still remembers me. What was she like again? Whenever I try to remember her, I can only see the [CENSORED].
I haven't seen anyone in a long time. I don't mind. The lights have gone out, too. I still stroll these empty halls. The [CENSORED] that remain greet me sometimes. I greet them back. They're just like me… [CENSORED]. I hope that we can become more alike.
[CENSORED]