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If San had to describe the scenery with words, there were not many he could come up with. The blue night faded into black at the edges where the light could not reach. Snow filled the air in the tiniest, most fragile crystals, turning the night into something he had only seen in his dreams.
The college student was just on the way to the other dorm, the one where Wooyoung slept in.
Whenever he just thought of his name, San smiled. Instant serotonin went to his soul as he stood all wrapped in his coat and scarf, the wool hat pulled to his brows.
With two steaming mugs, the scent of hot chocolate was San’s companion. A nice surprise – at least that was what San was aiming for. But what he saw, made him stop. Some of the liquid spilled over and created brown dots in the snow.
San’s breath came out in a white small puff, his eyes catching onto the beautiful being in front of him.
If he was honest, he didn’t even know where all the lights were coming from, but just at the edge to the campus’ basketball court stood Wooyoung in white long clothes. Pale blue light falling onto him from the light source sitting above the hoop. His hands were raised towards it, as if he was trying to grasp it, fingernails painted in a pearl white.
Like a frame to a picture, Wooyoung’s platin hair curled around his eyes, a long white bow sat at the back of his head too.
Wooyoung was beautiful, but San had already realised that a long time ago.
He had never seen those glowing wings on his back before though. It was just a faint illusion, strings standing off his back in a fading blue. Whenever he moved his back, the wings followed the rhythm, swaying like a fish’ fin in the cold wind.
He turned left, then right and then-
Their eyes met. Wooyoung’s mint coloured ones graced over San’s dark brown. But then Wooyoung turned away again. The moment gone – only the echo of San’s hitching breath still hollering in the space. The sound was instantly swallowed by the storm. There was a possibility that Wooyoung had not seen him. After all, San was hidden in the shadows, the lanterns all turned off after 10.pm.
Wooyoung raised his arms, snowflakes wrapping him in a delicate dance. Like sparkling stars, they were glowing around him.
“My crush is a snow fairy…”, San whispered into the cold, words that made Wooyoung blink in confusion.
He looked back, the campus all dark and empty, except for two steaming mugs sitting alone in the snow.
Weird… Wooyoung could swear he had heard someone…
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
“Your secret is safe with me”, San whispered as he clipped on a small cross earring. “Ouch”, he pouted as the jewellery snapped in. His ear instantly rushed hot, making the student grit his teeth. “How did Wooyoung pierce them multiple times? Just putting those on hurts like hell…”
In fact, Wooyoung had various of them. Two piercings on one side, three on the other. Every time Wooyoung had his white hair up, they sparkled like a treasure underneath. Like the surface of the ocean, it drew in San’s attention.
It was just one of the million reasons why San had fallen in love with Wooyoung. Why he had asked him on a date just two weeks ago.
They were dating now – San’s heart still skipped a beat whenever he thought about it. He gave a small smile to himself as he looked at the bracelet of silver around his wrist. His fingers traced the chains.
Wooyoung had given it to him, with a blush and his nose red from the cold, just in front of San’s dorm when they were heading home after their wonderful first date.
San pressed the chain against his cheek and grinned.
“If being with you will always feel like that, I can’t wait for you to be mine…”
Yet, there was another picture next to the cute student he had tried to win over for months. In San’s head, Wooyoung was decorated with white nails, tiny pearls on his eyelashes, like icicles, and the most majestic wings he had ever seen. Not that San had ever seen wings on a person before.
San yanked the wrist from his face, a blushed face looking back at him through the mirror.
“He’s a fairy…”, he reminded himself as if he had not almost lost his mind last night when he had found out. Not negatively though. No… San was in awe. It felt like an honour to him, to be the one who had won Wooyoung’s heart over. Even though he should have probably never found out, a threat to the entirety of magic out there, it made him all proud.
He’d be the most supportive man Wooyoung would ever find, he’d make sure of that.
Since the day they had met, San always wanted the boy to feel safe with him. That hadn’t changed now.
San blinked against his reflection, running his hands through his black bangs.
“Ah, shit!”, he turned his head to the side, eyeing the imprint the chain left against his cheek. His head fell forward with a sigh, banging against the mirror. His heart raced in his chest. He would see Wooyoung again today. San gripped the front of his shirt. His fairy Wooyoung…
“You’re late. And what is that?”, Hongjoong asked as he tried to rip the bandage from San’s face.
“N-nothing”, San blushed. The chain imprint wouldn’t go away, not even when San had to leave for the study date with his friendsgroup. Since Wooyoung was also part of that group, he could not just come with that stupid thing in his face. Honestly, when he had put the band aid on, he thought that it looked fine – bad ass even.
Wooyoung would ask in what kind of fight San had gotten in, fussing worriedly over him and then being all in awe when San said that he was fine.
However, when San and Hongjoong arrived at the table where they always studied, Wooyoung was already there. Like always, Wooyoung’s head snapped up immediately when he heard San.
Once again, Wooyoung looked stunning.
His fingers were full of black and silver rings, a grey hoody hid his body well, the hood full of white fluff inside. His hair was pulled in a half ponytail, curled.
San wondered if his hair was actually curly – if it was the nature of a snow fairy, or if Wooyoung just liked to curl them.
His thoughts got interrupted when Wooyoung chuckled, flipping a pen between his fingers.
“Did you let a cat scratch you again?”
San looked flabbergasted while Hongjoong laughed. “T-that was only one time”, San whined but put his things instantly to the spot next to Wooyoung.
Usually, they always sat the same, but San had asked Yeosang to switch seats with him, making him sit next to Wooyoung now.
The boy didn’t know about that yet and watched San all wide eyed when he sat down next to him with a flirty little “Hi”.
“Hi-“, Wooyoung greeted but leaned back immediately with blown eyes as San leaned over. Their noses were almost touching when San inspected his eyes with the accuracy of a scientist.
San leaned back without saying anything, leaving Wooyoung blinking confused.
What was that?
Hongjoong sighed and shook his head, pulling out his books.
“Your eyes are normal again”, San said, still looking at them.
It made Wooyoung’s cheeks flare up even more than usual. It was embarrassing what power San had on him. Whenever San was close, Wooyoung felt shy. Flustered. Almost nervous. He had never felt like that with anyone before except maybe that one guy in middle school that Wooyoung had sworn his heart and soul to just to be left for a girl.
It felt real with San, and their relationship had not even started yet.
“Normal?”, Wooyoung asked. Did San mean his glasses? He had his contact lenses in – maybe it still felt weird to San when he didn’t have his glasses on.
“They are pretty… I am glad you- you’re showing them”, San looked away, but only for a second. He reached for Wooyoung’s hand, making the blonde boy gulp. “You look pretty today.”
Wooyoung wanted to melt.
“Can you not flirt here, oh my god”, Hongjoong leaned his forehead against the back of his head, already tired and they had not even started their studying session yet.
“Hongjoong’s right. If you two get too lovey-dovey and hinder the study process, I will switch back places with San”, Yeosang said as he arrived, his books plummeting to the place next to San, like promised.
“Hi, Sangie”, Wooyoung greeted with a warm smile, making his annoyed frown gone.
“Hi Youngie.”
The others had arrived too. Their study group consisted of eight members. San, Wooyoung, Hongjoong, Yeosang and Seonghwa of the Korean Language and Cultural department, whereas Mingi, Jongho and Yunho studied Engineering and Technology; they were all friends though. San was not sure how they all came to be one, maybe through that one time they had spent Yeosang’s birthday at the riverbank.
While everyone was studying in peace and quiet, San made sure to not let go off Wooyoung’s hand. The boy had told him once that especially his hands were always cold.
As long as Wooyoung was just reading through his notes, he’d warm his hand gladly. He could not even imagine how cold it must have been to be a creature of snow and ice. If Wooyoung’s body was actually warm? He had sworn that he had felt warm whenever they had hugged before, but that mustn’t mean that Wooyoung had the same body temperature as a normal human. Maybe Wooyoung was also able to regulate it – to fake his human nature whenever others were around.
San stared at their intertwined fingers.
He wondered if it was hard… to hide the wings and his identity like that…
“W-what are you staring at?”
San was almost pulled out of a trance. He hadn’t even opened his book yet. But it was so damn hard with Wooyoung there. How should he even concentrate?
“Nothing?”, San said hastily, dropping Wooyoung’s hand. They all had an exam before Christmas. They should study. As much as they could.
San’s eyes always looked back to him though. The way Wooyoung chewed on the back of his pens while being deep in thought. Small huffs escaped him whenever he didn’t understand something. His angelic bangs always moved with the little air, reminding San of the way Wooyoung’s eyes had glowed a pale mint in the winter scenery.
It filled San’s chest with so much warmth. Wooyoung was a…
‘No! Concentrate, Choi San!’, he yelled at himself in his mind, clapping both his cheeks hard.
All the others stared at him, exchanging looks. They probably thought that San had lost it completely.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
The next time San met Wooyoung was the day he waited for him outside the club centre. San wanted to surprise him with white flowers after finishing his club activity. He was part of the book club – the softest hobby San could think of, and it fit him so well. He loved it whenever Wooyoung started to talk about his latest reads with so much enthusiasm that it was like San had actually read them too.
Snowflakes caught in his hair. He still waited.
The sun had long dipped in the early afternoon, only a lone lantern leaving him illuminated.
He checked the time again. Wooyoung should have been here for 15 minutes now.
“Weird.”
The door opened and San lifted the flowers with a hopeful gaze. However, when he saw the two guys descending the stairs, he lowered them again.
“Are you waiting for someone?”, one of them asked.
“Wooyoung should have had his book club-“
“Ah, Wooyo? Yeah, he said he’s feeling unwell.”
While San lived in a cramped dorm with two other boys, Wooyoung had a small room for himself. Now that San was standing in front of the door, in the middle of a glass-covered hallway, he realised that he had never been to his room before. He only had picked him up with Hongjoong twice, only getting glimpses of what was inside.
Honestly, San hadn’t really thought.
After he found out that Wooyoung had never been at the book club today, a lot of things plagued his mind. If Wooyoung was sick, he would have said so… they had been texting quite a lot since they started dating. Between their ‘Good Morning’s’ and the regular check ins… Wooyoung would have told him if something was wrong, right? Maybe it had to do with his powers? Something he couldn’t talk about?
All his thoughts ended when Wooyoung opened the door, blonde hair in a high and messy bun, while he was covered in a white hoodie and black baggy jogging pants.
“San?”, he looked quite shocked. It was the first time San had come to his room and the first time he had brought flowers.
With a little sigh, Wooyoung stepped to the side, letting San in.
In all truth, Wooyoung had cancelled everything and barricaded himself here because San had retracted his hand during their study date. Usually, nothing to worry about… but San never denied Wooyoung hand holding and damn… had it felt ugly to have it empty. No matter what was going on, San would forever hold his hand. Maybe he was stressed with the exam? It must have gotten to his head with the weird behaviour he was showing lately. He had to admit that it probably wasn’t the best time to start dating – it was necessary though, as Wooyoung’s heart would have exploded if they had not gotten clear about their feelings soon.
At least they had already told each other that they liked each other. It was only a baby step to the bigger words now. Wooyoung hid his small blush as he thought what would come with those words.
Maybe a kiss?
They had never shared a kiss before… All they did were hugs and holding hands. Not that it wasn’t enough. Wooyoung loved it! Loved being close to San at all times with all the gentle touches at their shoulders and waist.
The thought alone that San wanted to kiss Wooyoung made him fight a blush. He wanted that. Definitely. Yet, there was no reason to hurry.
“You’re okay?”
Wooyoung had not moved from the door yet, while San had already sat down on Wooyoung’s bed.
“Yeah”, Wooyoung closed the door and accepted the flowers San was giving him.
Surely, San had wondered what his room looked like, but he had not expected this jungle. Wooyoung looked like a responsible person, someone who’s good with children, pets and plants. His entire wall was full of the green companions. Lazily, San reached out for one of the bigger plants just next to Wooyoung’s bed.
The rest of the room was in a cool white. Just a dorm, not a home. The plants made it a lot better. What made the room so unmistakeably Wooyoung where the BL posters spread on the wall next to his bed though. Some more… spicy… than others. If San was not mistaken, there were also some K-pop idol groups among them. Boy groups in school uniforms and tight black sleeveless tops. None of those things surprised San. He had already known about Wooyoung’s interest and found it quite adorable. Just like the books, Wooyoung loved to retell every little scene of his BL dramas.
“I didn’t think you would come over. Usually I’m at the-“
“Book club. I know”, San smiled and reached for Wooyoung’s hand. “I wanted to pick you up there, but I was told that you’re not there.”
Guilt made Wooyoung’s head hang low. He had felt bad the entire week because he sought distance from San. Just for his picture-perfect crush to come uninvited to pick him up after his club activities. With flowers. He hated his insecurities for even trying to tell him that San did anything other than love him. In addition, he felt sorry that he had ruined San’s careful plans just because he was sulking at home.
When Wooyoung realised that he was quiet, he rolled his shoulders back and caught San staring at their intertwined hands.
“What?”, Wooyoung smiled and scooted closer.
“Your hands are so cold, Young-ah. Isn’t it bothering you?”
Ba-dump. Young-ah.
“Erhm”, Wooyoung blushed, “S-sometimes.”
San pulled his hands closer, right up to his face and held them against his warm cheeks. His grip wasn’t hard, yet tight enough to make the cold hands stay there all warm and cuddled up against San’s hot skin.
“I am not sure If you need the cold to survive or actually want warmth, but I am always willing to help when you get too cold.”
Wooyoung forgot how to breathe.
Even if he phrased it a bit weirdly, San’s words meant so much to him. It made his heart flutter and squeeze in all the best ways.
It made him shiver and leave with a pretended cough. Trying to mask his blush, but it all didn’t help. Fuck, San made him so nervous.
“Oh… are you still feeling badly? I should have brought medicine, not flowers.”
“Aahhh, it’s fine”, Wooyoung croaked, his voice hoarse and thin. “Medicine won’t help.”
“It won’t?”
“No, I am not sick.”
San thought that it must have been a clue. Especially since Wooyoung clasped his lips as if he had been caught, scared to say yet another word that would bring him into trouble. He didn’t know that San knew about his magical form after all.
“I know exactly what you need”, San said determined and walked out.
Wooyoung tried to halt him, a bit confused why he would leave all of a sudden and for how long he’d be gone. But contrary to his expectations, San came back just five minutes later.
“Here”, he said as he let something fall into Wooyoung’s lap that he had transported with his shirt.
“What’s tha- ah!”, Wooyoung exclaimed as he was met with the icy cold of snow that San had brought in. “W-Why…?” he stammered, feeling his jogging pants getting soaked through.
“It helps, right?”, San asked, his dimpled smile so sweet that Wooyoung could not even think about denying him.
Guess, it made Wooyoung laugh. So, it was definitely a win.
However, what Wooyoung thought to be a way to make him cheer up once, turned out to be a serious thing.
San continued to bring… snow.
For whatever reason. Wooyoung wasn’t sure. Did he have a heart to tell his handsome crush to stop? No, of course not. Even though Wooyoung should. He really liked flowers more than the snow.
“I don’t know if I should say something”, Wooyoung murmured, head hidden in his arms as he had it laid on the desk in the lecture hall.
Seonghwa, who scribbled notes next to him, hummed, “What do you mean?”
“San gives me… weird presents.”
“What do you mean ‘weird presents’?”
Wooyoung’s shoulders lifted and fell. “He brings uhm… snow.”
“Drugs?”
“No, like- snow. Real snow.”, he blushed. It sounded ridiculous even to his own ears. But San was so… so unreal cute and hot at the same time. When he had met him for the first time, Wooyoung thought he’d never be able to look at him while talking. Now, a few months in, they were even holding hands and spending time alone.
The wild beating of his heart had not calmed down yet, whenever he was with him. They were still so early in their dating phase and every possibility of closeness made Wooyoung nervous and yet so hyped in anticipation. When would they kiss? When would they have their first time? It was all so exciting and yet Wooyoung shivered thinking about all those things.
Now, with San’s weird behaviour, Wooyoung’s attraction had not died down. He still thought it was endearing. However, slowly Wooyoung feared he didn’t understand why San was giving him these.
“Should I talk to him?”, Seonghwa offered as Wooyoung had his face still hidden. He shook it awkwardly.
That was not what he wanted. What if a talk with Seonghwa would scare San off? What if he’d think that Wooyoung being unable to address his wants and problems with San meant their relationship would never work?
Wooyoung wanted to make it work so badly.
So, Wooyoung kept quiet. Sometimes Seonghwa asked about the snow presents, but except for snow ducks that San made with Wooyoung on one cold Saturday evening, there had been no more snow presents anymore.
He almost had thought that San was back to his normal behaviour until he was invited to San’s dorm room for the first time.
His roommates were gone over the weekend. San had asked him to have a sleepover. Wooyoung was getting nervous. Did a sleepover mean more than that? He couldn’t say that he had so many boyfriends in his life before to know if that was a secret code for him to wear his best lingerie.
But maybe… a kiss? Yeah, if they would kiss…
Wooyoung slapped his reddening cheeks, the wool gloves scratching at his skin. “If Choi San kisses me, I’m gonna explode.”
The doorbell was so loud that Wooyoung flinched and, as if San had waited behind said door, it swung open in an instance.
“Hi, Wooyoung!”, San smiled and pulled him into a greeting hug. He snacked his arms around his waist inside his open jacket, head laying on Wooyoung’s shoulder. Wooyoung awkwardly put his arms around his shoulders, which were way too big to hug. “You can give me your jacket.”
“Oh, thank you!”, Wooyoung chirped but oh… how he wished he had kept it. “Oh…”, Wooyoung shivered and hugged himself tightly as he entered the room. “Is your heating broken? It’s a bit… cold here.”
“Yes!”, San nodded with enthusiasm, “It’s not broken though. I think I had my window open for four hours.”
San sounded so proud of it. Even the blanket on his bed was freezing when Wooyoung sat down on it.
“Ah… did you forget while you were out?”
San sat down and shook his head, “I thought you’d enjoy it?”
Immediately, Wooyoung huddled closer to San for warmth. San with his fluffy white sweater wrapped him in his arms. Wooyoung trembled and shivered like crazy.
“Mmmhmmm”, Wooyoung hummed, “Not so. I hate the cold.”
San looked like someone had shot him. “I’ll keep you warm then!”, he nuzzled his head against Wooyoung’s cheek, “And maybe I’ll turn the heating on again…”
Their bodies were pressed together tightly.
“Please…”
San moved, they looked at each other. So close.
“I am sorry”, San mumbled into Wooyoung’s hair, hands pushing him closer again, “This is all so new for me.”
“N-no it’s okay! I get it.” Was this San’s first relationship? Not that it bothered Wooyoung, but he would be surprised. San was so sweet and good-looking.
But what Wooyoung didn’t know was that San was referring to his magical abilities. That San had made it freezing cold on purpose so that Wooyoung felt comfortable. However, it didn’t seem to work. San really just wanted to be supportive, but his internet research had not really helped. He was not sure what a snow fairy needed; but he also didn’t want to ask Wooyoung – tell him that he knew about his secret.
So, San just held Wooyoung close.
Maybe snow fairies needed the opposite. Because they were always cold. Maybe they craved warmth?
A squeak fell from Wooyoung’s lips when San slid his fingers underneath Wooyoung’s shirt. Tentative and only the tips.
“You’re cold everywhere.”
Wooyoung blushed, so deeply in contrary to his pale hair. “Ah, well… I said I am freezing, didn’t I?”
“Then let me warm you”, San’s breath brushed over Wooyoung’s ear. Wooyoung squeezed his eyes together. So close.
They somehow ended up cuddling on the bed, laying in a close embrace, Wooyoung’s head resting underneath San’s chin, arms around each other’s waists.
The cold room temperature had one good thing – neither of them would let go so soon.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Maybe… San should have known better. Putting his room on ten degrees was one thing, but falling asleep there with Wooyoung in his arms was another.
Now that his nose was stuffed, his throat swollen and hurting, he admitted that yes – it was a bad idea. He was barely able to talk. Yunho had almost not been able to understand a single sentence he had croaked in the morning. Even worse was the oral exam San had prepared for and was forced to take. God, he could swear that the examiner was looking at him with a pool of pity.
To top it all, San was not the only one dead sick. He hadn’t seen Wooyoung in days. The boy laid all cuddled-up in his bed, fighting a fever and a running nose just as much.
“You should also go home, San”, Hongjoong had said after San finished his exam, “Wooyoung’s doing horrible and since you both caught the same thing, it’s better for you to rest as much as you can.”
Yes, sure. San could rest his body. Lay in their room, even though his roommates would probably want to strangle him after his seventh coughing fit in just 15 minutes. However, his mind was restless. Wooyoung got sick because of him. Wooyoung didn’t enjoy the cold at all but the snow… he did like that.
San tipped notes on his phones while walking to his room. Things Wooyoung liked and enjoyed, and things that weren’t doing any good.
Snow – Yes.
Cold – No.
San frowned and rubbed his forehead, “Kinda contradictory.”
Having arrived at his dorm room, he plopped his things down next to his bed before falling into his bed with a sigh. “Shit”, he coughed then, his body not happy with how careless San was with his sick body. Gosh his throat. It felt like rasp-paper.
“There’s water and ginger on your table.”
San’s shoulders jumped up as well as his head, trying to figure out who spoke with him.
Yunho was sitting at his desk, headset on as he happened to play some online games.
“Thank you?”, San couldn’t remember that Yunho had ever been that sweet.
A roll of eyes got San to throw away that thought.
“It’s not from me, duh. Don’t thank me. Wooyoung texted and asked what you have. And since we are all tired of your ugly coughing, I just got whatever he suggested.”
Promptly, San threw a pillow to his roommate.
“Thanks for getting it”, San murmured, “Not thanks for being such an ass about it.”
Yunho waved it off, too concentrated on his game to even give San a look.
San weaved his hands through his sweat covered bangs, rolling into the warmth of his blankets and pillows. Shiber laid at the level of his knees, he looked to Yunho, decided that the other boy wouldn’t notice anyways and longed for the plushie.
In a tight hold to his chest, San fell asleep with it. Dreams about sugar and sweet, Wooyoung and San, keeping him in a recovering, long dream.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Their first date laid a little over a month ago now. Wooyoung traced his fingers over the printed photo that hung on the wall over his desk. They had been at some cute brownie shop. For coffee and well… brownies. San had even brought a flower. Just one, as he had promised Wooyoung that for every date they’d have he’d get one more.
The flower was long dead by now, hanging its brown, dried head from the glass, while Wooyoung sighed – he never had gotten his two flowers.
Their second date was not even planned yet.
Was their relationship even moving forward? Maybe Wooyoung was too greedy whereas San wanted to take things slow.
“Or maybe he doesn’t like me”, he mumbled to the reflection in his mirror that hung opposite from his desk. Sourness spread in his stomach. It was bubbling like acid.
Had he acted weird? Had San realised that whatever they had as friends had lost its charm as lovers?
Harsh winds outside knocked on his window and made him flinch.
Snow. More snow.
Wooyoung hesitated. San wouldn’t bring him more, right?
He wouldn’t-
‘Blops’
Wooyoung froze as the wet sound was accompanied by the freezing cold soaking through his pants. His black skirt was dropping wet in seconds. Everyone at the table was speechless. Either too shocked or trying not to explode from laughter.
San smiled and gave Wooyoung a gentle kiss on his temple. Wooyoung didn’t dodge, but he kinda… wanted to.
His brows furrowed.
At this point it all felt like mockery to him.
The butterflies had grown dormant and with a hanging head, Wooyoung wondered if he had really fucked up his chances with San that badly…
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
“San. I know that your relationship with Wooyoung is something between you two. But what was that last week?”, Yunho asked as they got ready to head out.
San pulled his dark blue beanie on, pushing his black strands underneath it.
San shrugged, “The snow makes Wooyoung happy.”
“Happy? I think Wooyoung looked everything but happy.”
A squeezing sensation to his heart got over San. Yeah. It was true – Wooyoung had not giggled like the last times. If anything, he looked troubled. As if he was hoping that San would have stopped with it.
Maybe the first times were just more fun?
Maybe the skirt Wooyoung had worn was expensive and new?
Whatever it was… San would not do it anymore. There had to be different ways to support Wooyoung’s fairy side without putting their relationship on a seesaw.
Yunho pulled him back at his shoulder.
“Wooyoung is so perfect for you. I know I don’t say serious things often. But this time, I am serious. Don’t fuck this up. If you’re nervous – just blush. Don’t bring snow.”
His eyes were holding San’s while he put light pressure into his fingertips, resting on his shoulders. The words had their immediate effect, San blushed, his head falling.
If he could just find a guide for fairies, he would not even try out all those things. He really wanted to help Wooyoung, since he knew about his secret identity. It must have been lonely to not be able to tell everyone who you really are.
“I’m not saying that you shouldn’t do your best for him”, Yunho continued as San looked beaten, “Just more… diligence. Less snow.”
San nodded. Had he gone too far with his worries and concerns after all?
“Let’s not make them wait”, San sighed and grabbed his beanie.
Just as he opened the door, Hongjoong stood there, fist ready to knock on the door.
“Ah, San-!”
“I won’t bring him snow anymore”, San said with a pout as he pressed himself through the small gap between Hongjoong and the wall.
It brought a smile to Hongjoong’s lips. “I heard he likes roses. Why not try with that instead?”
San’s chest felt swollen with love. More flowers for Wooyoung…
Tonight was the last evening that they’d spent together at the college dorms before everyone headed home for Christmas.
The snow looked like pastel lilac in the night air. His black, sturdy boots left deep prints as he tapped around, waiting for the others to arrive.
When was the last time that he had seen Wooyoung? It must have been the study session. Warmth crawled to his face as he remembered how that one ended. The others loved to call it the ‘snow incident’.
But all San saw when he looked back at that afternoon was disappointment in Wooyoung’s face. It made a poisonous thought come forward. What if Wooyoung was not coming today? If he had enough of San?
San’s fingers tensed under his gloves. He wiggled them and curled them, looking for a familiar hand that was not there to hold.
He made a startled noise when a hand found into his. There was no warmth, yet he felt safe. He smiled as he already knew who it was.
“Hi”, San was met with a gorgeous boy. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too, San.”
San was so relieved to see him, with his white curls underneath his grey cap, his pretty jelly pink lips, the red nose. It made the fireworks crackle to life, his heart suddenly beating again.
Murmurs. All the others had already assembled too. He had not even realised, lost in a world that only belonged to Wooyoung and him. They scrunched their noses to make each other laugh, leaving a lightness to San’s previous panic.
Maybe everything would be well after all.
That was until Hongjoong had taken out the sparklers. One for each of the boys. Hongjoong handed them out, luring timid smiles out of the students. But for San… those small little miracles were a threat.
Wooyoung lit his, the sparks sizzling and lighting his face a white colour. He turned and showed it to San with the cutest smile he had ever seen, but San didn’t smile back.
The heat of the sparks… the way they jumped and bolted towards Wooyoung but never reached him.
San’s heart squeezed. That could be dangerous for a snow fairy, no? Was Wooyoung just acting?
San ripped the sparkler from Wooyoung’s hands, looking at it with a frown.
“Oh, San I have one for you too”, Hongjoong said, but that was not the reason he had taken it. He threw the little stick into the snow and stomped on it until the night turned dark again. The little stars gone.
To this moment, San had never felt regret. Because the feeling that suddenly gathered in his body when he looked up to meet Wooyoung’s gaze hurt more than a thousand needles at once.
Big tears rolled down Wooyoung’s face.
San’s heart plummeted.
“Woo-“, but the boy was gone, running in the silence San had created in the group of people.
It didn’t even need his friends’ angry and disappointed faces to run after him. The snow crunched after their hurried steps. Breathes audible as they ran and ran.
At the first university building, San finally caught up to Wooyoung. He held him back by his wrist.
“Let me go”, Wooyoung sobbed, voice broken.
It felt like an arrow to San’s chest. Shock on his face as Wooyoung turned to him, his face a mess of tears and snot.
He expected the boy to retreat, to push and yell at San. But he didn’t.
With his free hand, Wooyoung tried to rub the tear streaks away and San felt like he’d collapse if he had to watch him cry for longer.
By all the gods and winter spirits – what had San done?
San released Wooyoung from his hold and took a step back, before he bowed deeply.
Wooyoung’s hiccups slowly died down, his breathing irregular but he was not fleeing anymore. Only watching San bow to him in perfect 90 degrees.
What is San doing?
“I apologise”, San didn’t look up, feeling how everything in his body hurt. How come that he had brought them to where they were now only because he thought he could help?
“S-San, it’s okay. You can stop that.”
“It’s not”, San straightened up, “Making you cry is never okay. I… I am so sorry…”
“San…”
“You mean so much to me, Wooyoung. I can’t even… tell you through words. But I… fucked up so badly. Therefore, I… apologise.” He bowed again. Shorter this time. His own lips trembling as he waited if Wooyoung would accept it or turn his back on him forever.
The time he waited for an answer felt like eternity. An eerie cold space had been created between the closest people who had drifted apart.
“If I mean so much to you… Why does it feel like you want to get rid of me so badly?”
It took the air from San. “That’s not it! Please believe me! I… I’ll tell you then.”
“Tell me what?”, Wooyoung asked with quivering lips, his arms folding in front of his chest to hold himself together in case San would really just turn him down, spit venom into his face and leave this Christmas as the worst one he had ever experienced.
“I know your secret, Wooyoung. It was not even on purpose, I just saw you with your wings and…”, he swallowed a lump down his throat, “You’re a snow fairy.”
Wooyoung’s eyes widened with every word, looking frozen.
“Just know that… I don’t know what you need and how I can support your supernatural side but I will! If you just tell me! I will do it!”
“The snow… the cold room… you did that because…”
“You’re a fairy”, San’s eyes sparkled. “The prettiest one I’ve ever seen.”
“Ah…”
The way Wooyoung had grown so quiet made San nervous. “I hope you don’t have to leave me now or erase my memories or whatever the rules of the magic realm are and-“
Suddenly, something different echoed through the snowy space. A laugh. Light and carefree.
San felt like he hadn’t heard Wooyoung laugh like that in so long, yet he didn’t really understand.
“Wait… San…”, Wooyoung chuckled, trying to talk in-between, “You really think I am…?”
San just nodded. He knew what he had seen.
But Wooyoung shook his head, “I am not a snow fairy.”
“Of course you are!”, San was stubborn, “I have seen your wings and-“
San grew quiet as Wooyoung held his phone in front of his face.
“What is that?”, he asked and scrolled through some pictures. They all showed Wooyoung in the snow, with the wings and the pretty contact lenses. “Wha-?”
“I’ve told you that I do photoshootings for friends, right? My friend had asked me if I could help for a fairy photoshoot in the snow. Gosh, I died. It was so freaking cold. I haven’t shown you yet because I kinda wanted to surprise you for Christmas. But uhm… surprise?”
San lowered the phone, looking at Wooyoung with shock written all over his face.
“You are… not a fairy?”
Wooyoung laughed again, boxing his shoulder, “I can’t believe you really thought that! All that… snow.” Wooyoung shook his head, “Stupid. But…”, Wooyoung grinned, “So cute. You’re so cute.”
Did San feel embarrassed? Yes, totally. But seeing Wooyoung all happy again was worth it. He couldn’t believe it though. It all looked so real in the dark night. And wow – the way Wooyoung had looked. San could not take his eyes from the pictures where his crush posed so elegantly. Because even if his wings were not real, Wooyoung was still magic to San.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
“This is lovely. Thank you for coming over”, Wooyoung smiled. His hair was now dyed a cherry red, cut shorter. It had been a shock to San at first, but he had only fallen deeper in love with this new, sexy side his boy was showing. His fingers were full of glue as they were both holding photos of their second date together to craft a little wall decoration.
Wooyoung had said that he wanted that since the photos they took on their second date – right after new year – were so pretty. They all showed them sitting around in the snow, covered in the white dust and laughing.
Warmth spread in San’s stomach when he looked at them, an immediate smile joining.
“I love those pictures.”
“Ah, don’t look at them! You’re gonna ruin the way they are glued at!”
“Sorry!”
Both boys looked at each other before they fell into a little giggle.
Two slowly withering flowers sat in a glass in the corner of Wooyoung’s room. The ones San had brought for their second date.
Wooyoung put his glued photo-pair to the side where the others already waited.
“This is my favourite”, he said as his cheeks tinted a bit red. San could already guess which one it was but asked, nevertheless.
“Oh, which one?”
But his smile only grew bigger when Wooyoung leaned over, kissing San carefully on the lips.
“This one”, he whispered, their eyes searching deeply in each other’s.
San wrapped his hand around the one that held the photo where they were kissing. San didn’t even know how it happened anymore. Wooyoung had looked adorable and pretty and then the next moment they were laying in the snow kissing.
Gosh… San loved the way it made his body explode with the crackling fireworks whenever Wooyoung kissed him, whereas Wooyoung always felt like his body was made out of rabid butterflies.
San hummed before he captured Wooyoung’s smile in another long kiss. His fingers dug into Wooyoung’s red hair, pulling him even closer before they parted again. “That’s my favourite too.”