Work Text:
Sometimes Yubin genuinely thinks that even thoughts whispered inward can be the inevitable trigger for Murphy's Law to unfortunately kick in. It's a stupid belief, because rationally speaking, scientifically speaking, pondering about bad things isn't necessarily connected to bad things actually happening. This is a pure waste of precious time and effort, the false conviction of idealism. She should focus her attention on what really matters, as usual, such as making sure her hair and makeup stay intact for the casual vibe they are going for for this shooting. It isn’t a complete new concept they have to tackle - playing up their affection for a traditionally heterosexual romance story - not with the notorious record they have as a complete group, but one involving an almost breakup is. The core of it is still undoubtedly something familiar, something she can work with. Will take some twists and turns, but completely manageable.
If their protagonist can show up, that is. You can't plead with the air for it to not leave you behind. Only a person can be that cruel.
Where is that brat?
The worry that maybe not everything can always be put on a timetable and held within her control surfaces, but so far Yubin is relaxed enough that it can be pushed down without much of a fuss. As much of a pain in the… bottom (she is classy and doesn’t resolve to swearing, even for this) as her same-aged friend can sometimes be, she is also well aware that Yoohyeon is a professional. Yes, it has been a while since their freshly concluded concert, and the outdoor shooting for their newest special clip is anything but meticulously arranged. Nevertheless, they have an entire hard-working crew waiting for their spontaneous nightly voyage, and she knows for a fact that the… slightly older girl already has her costume styled and makeup done from the glimpse she has stolen earlier. Yoohyeon has looked absolutely dashing with her platinum short hair carefully tussled. And coupled with the chic outfit, especially her short jeans showing off those well-proportioned legs-for-days, she feels like she falls for that nerd just a little harder, and that says something, because it should have been impossible for Dami, ever so reticent, to be any more smitten for her girlfriends, but here she is, ever so honest with herself, too.
(It’s not like she will ever admit it as long as she lives, so.)
There is no way for Yoohyeon to suddenly bail on this, not to mention how out of character it would be.
Yubin excuses herself gently from a stylist coming her way to redo an askew hairpin that she has been feeling prickling into her scalp for a while now and starts looking for her scene partner. It is getting quite late to the point where the traffic and the crowd have thinned out noticeably, even for an always bustling metropolis like the city of Hong Kong. With most of the store fronts closed and lights out, she doesn’t have to look particularly hard to find the flurry blonde head buried between palms next to a huge rolling shutter door of an underground parking lot and the body clad in a black leather jacket - one that matches what Yubin is wearing - slumped against the crimson brick wall in a way that makes her heart lurch in her chest.
“Yoohyeon?”
She rushes to her best friend’s side, urgent and panic-stricken. What happened? Is she hurt? Did she twist her ankle near the curb? Aish she and her clumsy limbs and her stupid motor functions, never looking where she’s going…
Yubin has planned to only bend over next to the girl all but sprawls over across the dirty concrete floor with her long limbs stretched out (almost none within their group cares the slightest about “sitting like a lady”, one of the infinite reasons Yubin absolutely adores her girls), but when she is able to hear the muffled sobs once she comes close enough, they make her lean against the same wall before sliding down, and all but drops down beside with an audible thud.
Nothing can be any more pressing than a sad, weeping puppy.
“What’s the matter, our Yoohyeonie?” She rasps tenderly as she carefully wraps around a trembling shoulder, a large hand rubbing gentle circles on a tense shoulder and forearm. “Are you hurt? Burnt out? Can’t stand any more camera time?”
The body in her arms rises and falls at a faster rate now, whether it’s from the familiarly husky voice or the comforting body contact. She hears shuddering gasps, before more broken whines flow freely forward, puppy-like but no longer inhibiting herself from drawing side-eyes from the fewer and fewer occasional passers-by. Still not openly howling in any sense, but relieved enough that Yubin releases a tiny breath she has been holding. Only the tiniest.
“Yoohyeonie, can you hear me? Feel me? Focus on my breathing, please.”
She doesn’t have to talk about what is wrong right away if she isn’t ready. Just be alright and present.
The older girl does as told, patterns extended and shaken as she listens and feels along the rhythm of another pulsing life right next, working her best to match each inhale and exhale. Yubin keeps a hand on her at all time, until after a particularly violent tremor from the slowly calming girl, she moves away for the shortest duration just to take off her leather jacket and swathes those gorgeous legs with goosebumps rising all over. The night is only getting darker and as far as she knows they are also pretty close to the sea. The last thing they need is for their puppy to catch a cold, especially after feeling how heated her body feels when Yubin presses into it through the thin fabrics they are in.
Yoohyeon sniffles and snuggles closer. She looks much more peaceful now, though her eyes are still red and puffy, mascara running down flushed cheeks and makeup ruined. The poor thing must have been crying for a while now. “You don’t have to do that, Binnie.”
“Don’t be silly. Where else am I supposed to look at once those beauties are out of commission?” She gestures dramatically at her own jacket with a small smile even when it isn’t paid any mind. Sure, she is just in a flimsy black T-shirt, and the early spring breeze nips at her skin almost as ferociously as it would feel in the winter, but her friend needs it more.
And she isn’t even totally joking. Yoohyeon has a pair of stunning legs, but their wonder is only matched by one of the purest souls Yubin has ever met. As precious as the decade-long companionship they have nurtured together goes, or how much either of their agency will always be well respected, with a heart so big and welcoming and sensitive, the younger is maybe too conscious of this… innate need to protect their puppy. To shield her from all the evil roaming the world as best as she can, because why are there so many? And how dare it make her beloved girl cry, so utterly devastated to the point where she broke down even knowing she has somewhere to be and work to be done?
Another shivering and long inhale. It feels almost comical to have someone with such huge a build to lean on her, but Yubin holds her ground with her experience. Despite how competitive Yoohyeon can physically get in a play-fight, she only grows more clingy when she is spent, physically or emotionally. She usually latches onto the nearest member available like an oversized keychain, the kind with the cutest and the furriest stuffed animal, until someone, usually one of the older ones like Minji or Bora, comes along to pry her away so she can rest on an actual bed. With company, of course. It would be cruel to leave a puppy with separation anxiety behind.
They can do that tonight, if she really doesn’t feel up for a video shooting now. The others can fly back first while they stay behind another day. Hell, they can always film everything back in Korea, if it really comes down to it. They have already captured some footages from the hotel room near the company building a few days prior to the concert, one that screams heartbreak, to build up some past domesticity and highlight the hurt in the present time. They can find a quiet spot near the Han river for the rest of the scenes. It wouldn’t be much of a difference in the grander scheme of things. The wellbeing of the members will always come first.
Yoohyeon has stopped sobbing next to her, but Yubin doesn’t like the kind of hallowed look in those eyes when she looks over, nor the quiet resignation in her hoarse voice when she speaks up, emotions raw and worn out.
“Dami-yah, you're going to leave me, aren't you?”
The statement is so shocking and out of nowhere Yubin is stunned for an entire of ten seconds. It gives her friend the chance to add even more distressing intrusive thoughts that have clearly been plaguing her for a while now.
“Maybe not today, not next week, not even a year from now. But what about in two years? Three? Ten? What if one day you got so tired of cleaning up my mess and you got up and left, just like that?”
“I-”
“No, it’s okay. I get it. People get tired of people all the t-”
“Not me, not of you. Never of you.”
Yubin scrambles over on her knees so she can face the other girl and grab her by shoulders, but Yoohyeon is refusing to meet her eyes. She seems to grow tearful again and her words are slurred, but it feels infinitely more painful that the younger can hear how deep her conviction runs. That she did not simply say it but actually believe every single word.
"I c-can't do it, Yubin, I can't even pretend to be cold to you and you to me... Gosh, it sounds so pathetic when it's just work..."
"No, no, don't do this to yourself," now Yubin can feel the tiniest sparkle of panic sneaking its way in, something she is painfully aware that she cannot afford to as she leans in to fully wrap the sobbing girl in a tight embrace. She needs to... she will get a better hold of her emotions when there are others to be cared for. She can't-
"You're damn right it's just work. And it's all it'll ever be. I'm not leaving you, not for anything, not after any time." The younger girl pulls up the jacket slipping down knees, get back you stupid thing can't you see she needs you- "This whole special clip business? This is just something silly to entertain. And if you really are that uncomfortable about it we can always just call off the entire thing-"
"No! That's n-not what I w-want..." Yoohyeon sniffles on her shoulder, pliant but with muscles all taunt and pressed like a bow primed with an arrow of self-sabotage. "It's fun and harmless, like y-you said. I'm the one who's g-getting so worked up over-"
"Now listen here you little-"
As disheartened as it will make her, Yubin is obliged to forcefully peel the tall and lanky girl off her shoulder to impose one of her signature not-buying-your-shit deadpan Dami stares Siyeon usually describes with laughters, the kind that hits you with a good-natured reality check and makes you laugh along even at your own expense. And who knows? It actually works, meaning Yoohyeon is dumbfound enough to pause mid-spiraling and all ears now.
Yubin also has a rough idea what a teary but concentrated german shepherd pup looks like. And it is super distracting when she is holding this pup between her palms and racking her brain for something much more important than swooning over her insecure girlfriend for the nth time.
...That's probably unfair. It has nothing to do with insecurity. Yoohyeon isn't some naive schoolgirl in a toxic relationship where her needs aren't met or validated. Yubin is the one who should do better.
Because... to tell the truth? She is scared, too.
"Are you listening?"
A small nod.
"Good girl."
That brings a weak smile to those pouted lips. Not much, but a nice start.
"Puppy," the younger begins as slowly and gently as she can, but with no room to mishear or argue either. "I will go to that 7-11 right across the street, just over there. See?" She points a finger, but it's hard not to, really, as it is the only shop still open for business at this hour, its sign easily recognizable and lights bright white.
After another nod in confirmation, she continues, a thumb stroking a cheek covered in tear streaks. "I will only be gone for two minutes. Five, top. And I want you to keep your eyes on me the entire trip. Can you do that for me?"
It takes some effort for Yubin to get up after the third nod, her knees stinging badly, her legs under ripped jeans frigid and stiff. She walks at a brisk and unhurried pace, making sure her entire frame is within blurry vision at all time, and she is planned and determined.
She enters the convenience store, grabs the first plastic bottle from the tiny cabinet with a transparent door and warm lights where hot drinks are kept (is a heater the opposite of a fridge or the same kind that simply heats instead of freezes? Thoughts for another time). She pays with cash to cut through the potential trouble where her credit card from another country may not work as smoothly.
Even as her back is turned away deliberately the entire time she waits for the change, Yubin can feel the intense gaze from behind. It tugs on something soft inside her as she bows her thanks to the cashier in English and continues to walk back in the same annoyingly slow speed.
It may hurt a little in the short term, but she has a bigger plan.
"Yubin-"
"Do you feel like getting up?"
A pitiful whimper. "Not really..."
"Then stay just a little longer, yeah? I'm not going anywhere."
Yoohyeon sits back down in utter obedience, but insists on holding out the arm with Yubin's jacket dangling over it, and the younger girl doesn't fight her on this when she is close enough and picks it up to put on. Her best friend seems to cease crying completely, and there is more gratitude than sadness in those watery eyes.
Yubin joins her on the floor again, handing her the opened bottle.
"What's this?" Yoohyeon eyes it curiously before taking a huge gulp. Her neck outline is insane and Yubin has to force her hungry gaze away.
She shrugs as nonchalant as she has the capacity to do so right now. "Dunno. Looks like milk tea? Just to put something warm and sweet in you."
"Than I should drink you."
It is the kind of cheesy words to let Yubin know her friend is okay and back to herself again. It also should have been the signal for her to feign disgust like her usually would, to stick to "their normal", something familiar.
Instead she closes the distance and kisses the giggling girl on the lips. There is a surprised gasp somewhere though before long it is returned, not with hunger and passion but equal composure and assurance. Yubin tastes milk tea indeed, but also the slight and unmistakable tang of coffee, something she absolutely cannot stomach on a better day but for now? She closes her eyes and allows herself to sink deeper, focusing instead on feeling each jittery breath exchanged and groping fingers on her jacket lapels to pull her closer still. It entices her to retaliate by hooking her own inside the dark choker and dragging too with a vengeance, drawing out a delicious moan she quickly swallows, mindful of their surrounding.
Yubin indulges it for a few seconds longer before she pulls back, stopping the older girl from following with a firm grip of finger around the leather.
"You should, you know."
Yoohyeon snaps up, panting, eyes unfocused and lips glazed. Jesus Christ. "What?"
And if Yubin doesn't get what she says next out in one go, she may never have the chance or the courage to do so again. She has been carefully curating her words on the short run back and forth, and these seem good enough. They seem right.
"You should drink me. If you could, of course. Because I think deep down I'm terrified as well. That one day you'll leave. If you did drink me you'd never go anywhere without taking me with you."
Okay, maybe this is a mistake when she should have seen more tears coming. If the shooting isn't officially damned before, it sure is now.
"Oh, Binnie-"
"Do you have any idea how much you look like that teary-eyed emoji right now?"
"Who cares! You can't just say the sweetest thing in the world with that dead-serious, handsome, gorgeous face of yours-"
"Okay, okay, I get it! Too tight! I can't - breathe - !"
"Again, who cares!"
And she is right that Yubin doesn't care, either. The younger girl just gives in and melts in the bruising bear hug (puppy hug?), exasperated but beyond satisfied with herself, even when they are literally cramming their limbs at weird angles just so they can stay in this warm embrace on the cold, hard, and no doubt dirty concrete floor all by themselves in the middle of the night in a foreign country, quietly weeping about the strength of their bond in happy tears.
"You're a softie, you know that?"
"Am not."
"I'm going to squeeze the confession out of you."
"Are you done?"
"Are you in any rush?"
"Not really, no."
"Stay, then."
"Aren't you uncomfortable-"
"Please."
"Okay."
And this is how Yubin finds out how fear can be both contagious and invigorating. How it motivates her to be there, be better for the people she cares so genuinely and deeply about. And if it helps, she will gladly welcome it as well as her lovers with open arms.