Chapter Text
-Are we not going to pick up Seishiro-sama?
Ba-ya had asked when Reo entered the limousine alone. He didn’t respond instantly, instead he stared at the window for a while. From the outside, blue lock even seemed to be a normal place. He remembered the day they were recluted, how, initially, Nagi didn’t want to go. How he forced him to tag along, forced his dream into him and how, when the other boy finally had shown interest in something, he had gotten mad at him. He was being so selfish. So what if Nagi wanted to play with other people? To become stronger by himself? Why couldn’t Reo accept that they were nothing more than soccer partners? An alliance formed solely under the premise they would become better together. That Nagi left him once they stopped improving was only natural. Still, he could have handled it differently.
“You’re a pain, Reo”
Ouch. Was he? Probably, he got so lost in his feelings for Nagi, he forgot they weren’t actually anything. Not even friends. No, a friend would have explained to him before leaving in the second selection. A friend would have chosen him. But then again, they weren’t actually supposed to be friends, it was more of a contract they had to win the world cup together. Even so, Reo felt something had changed, that the bond they had was real, at least to him. He allowed himself to trust and once again was disappointed, no one would actually love Reo. Nobody had really shown any interest in him, he was only seen as a Mikage, but with Nagi it was different. He thought that, for the first time, somebody valued him. Guess he was wrong. This didn’t mean that Nagi used him for his wealth or anything like it, the boy didn’t really care about that stuff, but neither did he care about Reo.
-I called him a cab so he could go home.
He could feel Ba-ya analyzing his late response.
-Does master Reo want to talk about it?
-No.
He didn’t intend to sound rude, he’s just so tired. Not only emotionally but physically too. Their match against the sub 20 selection happened just some hours ago, and even though Reo didn’t play that much, he gave all of himself. So he surrenders to sleep for the rest of the car ride.
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They arrived sooner than he expected. His parents weren’t there, which wasn’t a surprise, they barely saw him even when he wasn’t living in blue lock. And it’s not like their presence would change anything, they’re not really happy with him defying their wishes to inherit the company, so their relationship (if it ever existed) is now weaker than ever. Still he feels like them being there would make him feel less alone or at least more at home. An empty house could never feel like a home to him. Well, he never really felt home anywhere except when he was with… No, he doesn’t need those kinds of thoughts right now.
It’s weird how he spent everyday in blue lock complaining about not being able to follow his skin care routine and now he decides to just go directly to bed. He didn’t even bother with closing his curtains so he can see the whole night sky through the window placed over his desk. He knows the sunlight is going to annoy him tomorrow, but he just can’t get his body to reach them. So he just stares. He stares at the sky and thinks. He questions how he could have read so wrong all the signs Nagi gave him, how he couldn’t tell he was a burden this whole time. Reo used to think he excelled at reading people, at knowing how to please them. But it always turned out to be extremely superficial, he never connected to a deeper level with anyone. Sometimes he wishes he could read minds. That way he would know exactly what the others wanted from him, their intentions. Yes, that way he could find someone trustworthy, a real friend, maybe even be loved someday. Holding to that though he looks at the stars, one of them flashes before him. Then, for the first time in a while, he laughs, breaking the silence that reigned the night. A shooting star, what were the chances? Maybe if he were younger he would have thought his wish would come true.
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He wakes up early in the morning with the sunlight hurting his eyes as expected. He is still deciding if it’s annoying enough to get up and close them when he is startled by a loud noise, someone is screaming something about their partner cheating on them. Isn’t it too early for this kind of public display of anger? Reo checks his phone: 6am. How is it that none of his neighbors are complaining? It’s so loud and for some reason burying himself in pillows isn’t even lowering the maddening sound.
“What a nice way to start the day” he says to himself, perhaps too loudly due to the inability to hear caused by the incessant shouting. He approaches the window hoping to see who’s responsible for this and maybe throw them a rock, because Reo is not having it today. To his surprise, what he sees is the opposite of what he imagined. On the street there’s only two men, one asleep and the other peacefully walking. So who’s screaming? Is the sound so far away? How is it possible for these guys out there to not show any sign of discomfort? Is Reo finally losing his mind? He can’t handle whatever is happening while he still isn’t completely awake. He decides to go down to the kitchen, hands covering his ears, to drink some coffee. Luckily, the screams start to fade away once he's out of his room. After a while it’s completely gone and, without giving it much thought, he guesses it was probably someone out of his field of view.
With mechanical movements he makes breakfast. He doesn’t really have an appetite at this hour, but yesterday he went to sleep without eating and he can’t allow himself to have an unhealthy lifestyle. No matter how sad he is, Reo is a soccer player after all. Once all is prepared, he grabs his phone to check his messages. There are so many of them, people from his high school congratulating him for the match and asking him to hang out, even some of his blue lock teammates had sent him an invite to go have lunch tomorrow, but that wasn’t what he was hoping for. Honestly, he didn’t know what he was expecting, Nagi never texted him not even when they were on good terms. Reo was always the one to start the conversation. Still he thought maybe the other boy would want to see him to… talk things out? Maybe befriend him beyond soccer? It was stupid, all of that would probably be too much of a hassle for Nagi to even consider it. Whatever, he’ll answer the other texts later.
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After eating, he just sat there for a while, listening to people talk. Everyone seemed to be louder today. He’s hearing a lot of mumbling about their daily tasks, some of them go deeper and talk about meaningful aspects of their lives. It was kind of strange, was this noise always there? Could be, his brain is always so loud he doesn’t really pay any attention to what happens outside. Weird that his walls aren’t soundproof, he thought they were. Now that nobody was screaming, he didn’t mind, this distracted him from his loneliness.
“He is not going to like this”
Finally a voice he recognized, it was Ba-ya’s, but Reo had never heard her sound so worried. She was entering the front door, it must have been around 8am then.
-Who?
He asked the old lady as soon they made eye contact. Her eyes widened with surprise.
-What?
-You just said someone is not going to like something?
She rested her hand on her mouth, looking at Reo expectantly, as if trying to figure him out.
“Did I say that out loud?”
-You did.
-What?
Her eyes widened even more, and with a worried look on her face (almost, she was never quite expressive but Reo could tell) she sat in front of him, hesitating if she should say anything or let him respond.
“Does he know about the meeting today? Or is he acting weird because of the fight with his friend?” Now is Reo’s face that has surprise painted all over. Her lips didn’t move when she talked. Did she do it so fast he didn’t see the movement? That doesn’t make any sense.
“He doesn’t look alright, I should ask him if he needs something before bringing up the meeting.”
THERE WAS AGAIN, she isn’t talking. Reo is perplexed, is he going crazy?
-How are you doing this?
And as he says that, his face must be showing his fear because Ba-ya offers.
-Is master Reo feeling okay?
-I just- I need to go to the bathroom.
He stormed out of the kitchen and locked himself in his room. What was happening? He had to calm down and think. Ba-ya talked to him, but she didn’t actually talk. Well, it also seemed like the message wasn’t really directed to him. Was she talking to herself? No, Reo would have seen her lips moving, and she wouldn’t have acted that way during a normal conversation between them. Was he listening to her thoughts? No, that’s crazy. He laughs. The only thing that’s left for him is to have early dementia, that would be so lame. He doesn’t feel crazy though, maybe he can play it cool and avoid being sent to a psychiatric facility. That is when he hears Ba-ya’s voice behind his door.
“I should give him space, he’s probably tired and overwhelmed, but his father clearly stated that if he doesn’t show up today, he can forget about soccer forever”
What is she even talking about? Showing up today for what? Was this about the meeting she kept mentioning (or not mentioning but Reo heard it). Is this all in his head? He doesn’t know if he can live like this. That’s it. He is going to accept his fate and go to the hospital, because there’s no way in hell he's surviving this without being medicated.
Just as he was about to get out of his room to inform Ba-ya that he should be hospitalized, he heard a sudden scream “WHY AM I LIKE THIS, I CAN’T LOSE THE KEYS AGAIN”. Fuck, too loud. He instinctively covered his ears but it didn't help. Seems like it’s coming from outside his window. So he went to see what’s wrong. And then he saw her, a young girl looking for something in her bag. He could still hear her screaming obscenities in frustration. Reo was about to yell back to her, when she turned her head up. She was not screaming, in fact, her expression was sad, not altered. Reo’s brain was melting, was this a part of his illness? How could he make it stop? Hopefully when he was just starting to cry, everything ends. There’s no more shouting. Instead he distinguished a relieved exclamation.
“Thank god, they’re here”
Reo’s eyes widened. She had a pair of keys in her hand. Were those screams her thoughts, now silenced thanks to her finding? But how could it be possible? Oh, he remembered the shooting star. No, it was a stupid wish, this can’t be. Fuck, was this real? He had to make sure before locking himself up in a mental institution, because if all of this was caused by his wish, no amount of pills would help it stop.
But how could he? Maybe if he… Knocks on his door interrupted his train of thought. It was Ba-ya. Oh, that’s it. He’ll ask her about the “meeting”, if he’s not going crazy she should know what he’s talking about.
-Come in.
-Is master Reo feeling unwell?
-I know about the meeting.
He shouldn’t have said it like that, all of a sudden, it felt oddly out of place. But it seemed to work.
“Oh so it was that, looks like his father did tell him after all”
Reo tried his best not to look startled at the fact that he just heard something that didn’t come out of her mouth.
-I see your father has talked to you. Do you want me to help you find an adequate suit?
IT HAD WORKED, HE WAS NOT GOING CRAZY, HE WAS JUST READING HER MIND. Oh fuck, he was reading her mind. Is this permanent? It’s more uncomfortable than he could ever have imagined. He feels ill. How is he ever going to live like this? He didn’t wish it for real.
“He’s acting strange, does he have a fever?”
Reo chuckled, it would be so much better if that were the case.
-Master Reo?
He has to get it together, he can feel (and hear) he’s scaring Ba-ya, he should answer her. But what would he say? Reo had no idea what meeting she was talking about.
-He mentioned it very vaguely, I didn’t really understand what my role was.
He hoped she would believe that even though it sounded like an obvious lie. Reo was usually good at lying, but he was so overwhelmed by all the noise, he couldn’t think properly on what to say. Ba-ya gave him a suspicious look, but she couldn’t possibly tell what could be his purpose to lie. Mind reading would certainly not be her first guess.
-You’ll be there only for taking notes, he said that the knowledge would be valuable once you give up soccer.
Reo’s face flushed with anger, of course his father would say something like that. Why couldn’t he be more understanding of him? He wouldn’t have a problem with doing this as a plan B if it weren’t forced down his throat.
-But I’m not giving it up.
-I know, but you should please him for now, alright?
-Yeah, I guess. When does this thing start?
-At 10 am, you have around an hour to prepare.
-Great, I’ll go change.
He closed the door of his room once more and let himself fall into bed. He looked at the morning sky and wondered how he would survive being in a room full of people if he could barely stand his new ability in his own house. What if all of their thoughts are screaming at the same time? Maybe he should have told Ba-ya he was sick. But as the old lady had said (well, thought), if he didn’t go to this meeting he could forget about soccer forever. So with all the strength he had left, he started choosing what to wear.
——————————————————————
The car ride was oddly comfortable. He found out that, thankfully, he could only hear at a certain distance, so if the car is moving fast he only gets to intercept a really small fragment of people’s thoughts and, also thankfully, Ba-ya, who’s riding, has very calm insights. She’s only worried about how he’ll handle himself in the meeting, and to be honest, Reo is nervous too. It would already be difficult for him to behave under normal circumstances. He has always been reactive to disrespect and lately every conversation with his father leads to an argument. Every comment from that man was either passive aggressive or just aggressive, let alone his thoughts. He doesn’t want to hear how much of a disappointment he is.
-You’re particularly anxious today.
Ba-ya must have noticed he’s trembling.
-Don’t worry, just be quiet, take a few notes and you’ll be fine.
Oh, if only she knew everything that is happening inside of his head. But he can tell she means good, so he cracks a small smile and just nods.
——————————————————————
He arrived at the conference room 15 minutes early. There’s only another man in there. He’s mentally preparing his speech, which is convenient because Reo can use this to take notes and then speak during the presentation to impress his father, maybe that way he’ll be less wary about his son spending his precious time on a soccer field.
Little by little other people arrive, he can handle the noise for now. He’ll just try to focus on the presentation as much as possible.
At exactly 10 am is his father who arrives. There’s so many people there that he can’t really distinguish anyone’s thoughts. He’s glad about that, because one look at his father was enough to know he’s having a bad day. Reo waves at him anyway when they make eye contact but the salutation isn’t reciprocated.
The meeting starts and the man from before starts explaining his thoughts. Reo was afraid of hearing double whenever someone is saying what they’re thinking, thanks to a merciful god, right now he just hears the man speaking. But focusing on his speech becomes harder every second. There’s so much noise around him he’s starting to feel dizzy.
“That’s a valid point”
“Actually, the stock market…”
“This guy’s an idiot”
He’s hearing all of it and nothing at all. Everything gets mixed in a blurry cloud of thoughts. He feels nauseous, but he can’t throw up in there, he can’t excuse himself either. He puts a hand in his mouth to hide a gag. His head hurts in a way he never felt before, his vision is darkening. Fuck, he can’t pass out in there, his father would never forgive him. Don’t close your eyes, Reo, concentrate on the person talking. His breathing is out of control, he’s going to catch the eyes of everyone.
“Is that guy okay?” Is the last thing he hears before his body falls against the conference table.
——————————————————————
When Reo opened his eyes he found himself laying on his bed. How did he get there? He could see the sun setting through his window, what a calm view.
“This is the end of it.”
Of course the peace couldn’t last long, he could recognize that voice anywhere. And he knew soon he’d listen to exactly three knocks.
-Reo, are you awake?
-Yes, father, come in.
The tall, black haired man entered his room. Reo searched for compassion in his look, but he only saw anger. His thoughts were no better, he could hear all the words of resentment directed towards him. And he knew their meaning surpassed what happened at the conference room.
“How is it possible for my son to be this useless? What did I do wrong at raising him?”
Reo couldn’t stop the tears running down his face. He knew he looked like an idiot, technically his father hadn’t said a word to him yet.
-You ruined the meeting today.
-I know.
-What on earth made you pass out? You’d thought an athlete would have better health.
-I’m sorry, I was anxious and I didn’t sleep properly the night before, I’m…
-Enough.
Reo didn’t need to read his mind to know what would come next.
-You’re in no shape to play soccer if you can’t stand an hour in a conference room.
What started as silent tears are now desperate sobs.
-Please, I know I can do better. I can handle both the training and the business lessons I swear.
He doesn’t think he ever sounded this pathetic, but he was about to lose the only thing he has worked for. About to lose his dream and with it, his only chance to control the course of his life.
-Please, dad.
And for just a moment he heard… understanding? His father was thinking about it.
-You could come on friday 13th.
That was a day before blue lock reopened, he could make it work.
-You must make it through it, and by that I don’t solely mean staying awake, I’ll want to hear your insights after. If you’re incapable of completing that simple task, I will make sure you never enter a soccer field again.
-Alright.
With that his father abandoned the room, leaving Reo to his own thoughts. His face still wet and his head slightly hurting (because of the crying or the mind reading, he wasn’t sure). And even though he couldn’t envision a future where he could get past the first 20 minutes of the meeting, he knew that was the best offer he could get out of the man. Plus, if he isn’t able to stand in a room full of people, he can’t imagine a life where he gets to play soccer in a stadium surrounded by viewers (who get excited, mad, their thoughts altogether must be the actual hell). So he has to find a solution quickly.