Chapter Text
The snow gently floated down from the sky in soft, white flakes, coating the surrounding grass, stalls and barren treetops in a thin layer of white. The soft breeze seemed to play with the snow, pushing it around a bunch before letting it whirl down to the ground. The wind picked up for a moment, sending a small snowflake in Gem’s direction. The crystal landed on her right cheek, which was flushed slightly red from the mid-December cold. Gem didn’t mind. She let the snowflake melt on her skin before brushing away the residue water it had left behind.
This kind of weather was Gem’s natural habitat. She felt at home here, in the snow, the cold, and back on the ice.
Pearl, though, not so much.
The brunette let out a small yelp as her skates carried her further than she’d intended, and she crashed into the wooden dasher boards quite ungracefully, the tips of her ice skates creating a loud thud as they collided with the wood.
Gem could see what Pearl had meant when she said she wasn’t good at ice skating. The woman had fallen flat on her behind at least 5 times now and had held on to the railing bordering the rink for the remainder of the time. Still, Gem wouldn’t have wanted to go ice skating with anyone else. She loved hanging out with her roommate, so when she heard about a Christmas market opening near campus, the open-air ice rink being the center attraction, she hadn’t hesitated for a second to invite Pearl to go with her.
“You lost, Pearlie.” Gem grinned, watching the way Pearl’s arms flailed around haphazardly as she attempted to find a steady footing on the ice, before ultimately resorting to leaning her full weight against the railing instead.
“Oh, did I now?” Pearl replied sarcastically, but her eyes were still down on her skates, trying to stop them from slipping away. “I hadn’t noticed.”
In all fairness, both of them knew well enough that Gem would win the race she’d challenged her to, but Pearl’s competitive side couldn’t refuse the challenge.
“Seriously, I don’t know how you do it.” Pearl mused as she looked up at Gem, who was standing on her skates like it was second nature. Which, to her, it was.
“Years and years of practice, Pearlie.” She answered honestly. 15 years of figure skating definitely paid off.
“You make it seem so easy…” Pearl mumbled with half-hearted annoyance. She could never actually be annoyed with Gem. If anything, she was a little jealous of Gem’s impressive skills.
“Because it is!” Gem replied. “You just have to let go. Come on!”
Gem’s small hands closed around Pearl’s bigger ones, prying them off from the railing with a gentle insistence. She pushed herself off on her skates, tugging the other woman along with her, who almost immediately lost her balance.
“Ah- GEM!” Pearl yelped in surprise as she was suddenly stood on the middle of the ice, the steady support of the railing now gone. The only thing withing her reach was Gem, who, to be fair, was a very steady support as well.
Gem only giggled in response, continuing to tow Pearl along the ice, following the stream of other people. Pearl’s unsure stance was quite the sight. Her legs were shaking like a newborn dear, eyes blown wide in surprise to match the startled sounds she made every time her skates slipped in a direction she didn’t want them to go in. The tight grip she kept on Gem’s hands was endearing, like the redhead was her only way of helping her stay upright.
“Gem!” Pearl choked out again, her tone equally as scared as she was befuddled. “Gem, I’m gonna fall!”
“You’re not going to fall.” Gem giggled. “I won’t let you. Besides, if you let your fear of falling hold you back, you’ll never learn how to skate.”
Pearl looked up.
The statement was awfully poetic, and the way Gem’s voice had softened when she said it made her think it wasn’t just about ice skating. For a moment, Pearl saw images of the past flash before her eyes. Every single time her fear of failing had held her back. Every opportunity she’d rejected, scared she wouldn’t be able to make it. Every time she held her thoughts of feelings to herself in fear of being judged, or worse, rejected.
“It’s what my instructor always taught me.” Gem’s voice pulled Pearl out of her train of thoughts, and snapping back to the present, she realized they’d safely made it back to the edge of the rink. Pearl took her eyes off the ice beneath her skates, instead focusing on the gorgeous ginger beside her. There was something about Gem that made Pearl’s heart skip a beat. Standing there, leaning against the railing with that casual ease, she looked at peace. At home. She looked heavenly, and Pearl took that moment to drink in every last detail of her. The way the wind played with her soft auburn curls. The way her cheeks were slightly red from the cold. There was a certain twinkle in her eyes. Soft, but insistent, as she looked out over the snowy landscape. There was an aura about her. A strange sort of heat radiating from her, that made Pearl feel warm on the inside, despite how cold it was. The soft breath she took drew Pearl’s eyes to the curve of her glossy lips, and Gem resumed.
“My instructor taught me many things. Not just about ice skating either.” Gem’s emerald eyes dropped to the ground, but the smile on her lips remained. “She taught me that, no matter how many times I might fall, I should always get up and try again. She taught me to not let fear of failing stand in my way to success. Because sometimes, falling is okay. As long as you get back up and try again.”
Pearl had a slight smile playing on her lips as well. “She sounded like a wise woman.”
Gem let out a quiet chuckle. “She really was…”
A moment passed.
Gem’s voice played on repeat in Pearl’s head, bouncing around like a mantra.
“If you let your fear of falling hold you back, you’ll never learn how to skate.”
“Always get up and try again.”
“Sometimes, falling is okay. As long as you get back up and try again.”
Something inside her clicked.
Slowly, carefully, Pearl pushed herself off from the railing with both hands, letting herself slide onto open ice. She stumbled a bit before catching herself on her feet.
“Pearl?” Gem’s eyes followed her as she slid onto the ice, surprised by her sudden courage considering how much she’d been hugging the railing.
She didn’t respond immediately, too focused on keeping herself upright. As she attempted to get into a steadier pose, her feet slipped from beneath her, and the only thing within reach was Gem’s shoulder. Thus, she caught herself on it, clinging on for dear life.
“Pearl! What are you doing?!” Gem’s voice was more concerned than confused, and her hands instinctively shot out to catch her by the waist and steady her.
Pearl lifted her gaze from her skates. “I’m being not afraid to fall. Like you said.”
She wasn’t entirely sure where she got this sudden burst of confidence from. Maybe it was adrenaline. Maybe it was Gem’s comforting and encouraging words. Or perhaps she was just trying to impress her pro skater friend.
Or maybe, just maybe, it was the knowledge that Gem was there. That there was someone there to pick her up if she fell. Someone that really wanted to help her succeed.
Yeah…
Maybe it was that.
A soft, endeared giggle escaped the redhead’s lips. “Oh, you silly goose. Alright, alright. You have to bend through your knees a little bit, it’ll help you with your balance.”
Pearl took the advice, slowly lowering herself on her unsteady feet, her hand still clinging to Gem’s shoulder like a lifeline. She was still uncertain, and maybe a little bit hesitant, but she was willing to give it a go.
“Like this?” Pearl asked, looking for reassurance from the expert.
“Perfect.”
Gem was right. Of course she was. She’d done figure skating for 15 years. If anyone could teach Pearl how to skate, it’d be her. Still, it caught her off guard how much steadier she felt on her feet with the advice. There were a few hiccups, maybe a fall once in a while, but that was okay. Because every time she fell, Gem was there right beside her to pick her back up. After a few minutes of trying, she began getting more confident in her skating abilities. She was skating full laps around the rink now, going at speeds she never even thought possible. Not quite the speed or agility Gem employed when skating, but she knew that was near impossible in the short amount of time they had.
For the first time in a long while, Pearl felt free. Truly free. She could feel the wind in her hair and the cold cutting against her cheeks as she skated around, and all her worries and anxieties melted away like snow before the sun. It was liberating. And even though she’d stumbled and fallen, she knew that was okay.
Because with Gem, failing was okay.
“Geez, Pearl, you’re getting good at this!” Gem called out as she skated beside Pearl, matching her pace with practiced ease. “I almost can’t catch up anymore!”
Pearl’s eyes flicked away from the rink in front of her -Not long, just long enough to give her a skeptical glance- before returning to the ice.
“What? It’s true!” Gem exclaimed in feigned innocence.
Pearl decided to cut through the mass and take a break against the dasher boards again. That skating stuff was fun, but man, was it exhausting.
She turned her head to Gem as she joined by her side. “Come on, Gem. You’ve been skating for 15 years; we both know I’m nowhere near as good as you.”
Gem dropped her head in defeat as she got called out on her lie, a few red curls escaping from her dark red bonnet and falling in front of her eyes. “Yeah, yeah….” She lifted her head again. “But you are getting a lot better!”
“I definitely feel more in control of my skates, I guess…” Pearl mused more to herself than to Gem.
A silence settled between them for a moment. Not tense or awkward, just comfortable. Like any silence felt in each other’s presence. Pearl spoke up first, her voice soft and hesitant.
“Hey, Gem?”
Gem’s eyes lifted towards Pearl, but she was looking at the various people skating around the ice.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
For a moment, Gem forgot how to breathe.
“Thank me? For what?” She hesitantly inquired.
That got Pearl to drag her eyes away from the rink and onto Gem’s face. Their eyes connected for just a moment. Short enough to be considered a quick glance, but long enough for both of them to feel their heart stutter. Pearl looked back down, nervously fiddling with a loose thread on the end of her blue jacket’s sleeve. “For, uh, helping me today. I know it may not seem like much, but I really appreciated it. I rarely try new things because I fear I might not be good at them, or maybe I’ll fail. But you showed me that it’s okay to fall, as long as I get back up. So, uh…. Thanks. I had a lot of fun.”
Gem was stunned beyond words. Pearl had been her roommate for just over a year now, but never had she been this open. This vulnerable. This soft. The soft tone with which she spoke, the heartfelt words directed to her made her heart flutter in her chest. She took a moment to gather her bearings, carefully considering her next words.
“Well…” Gem begun. “I had a lot of fun with you too.”
With the soft breath of relief Pearl let out, Gem felt the strange tightness in her chest loosen. Pearl’s words had been so carefully spoken, like she was speaking straight from her heart, and Gem really didn’t want to mess up the moment by saying something wrong. That soft breath she got told her that she’d said the right thing.
Once again, a comfortable silence settled between them.
“Should we go? I’m starting to get a little cold.” Gem asked.
“Hot cocoa first?” Pearl responded.
Gem’s lighthearted giggle was like music to Pearl’s ears, filling her with the kind of warmth that no amount of hot cocoa could ever provide. “Sounds like a plan.”