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“Sans.”
“hmm.”
You stopped stroking his head and squinted at the TV. “I want cookies.”
“mmhmm.” He shifted in your lap, which was a sure sign that he wasn’t finished with you touching him just yet. But it was hard to concentrate on giving him skelerubs when the craving hit you so hard.
“No. I mean, I want cookies. Right now.”
“think there’s some in the pantry.” He wiggled again to remind you of his presence.
“What kind?”
“dunno. maybe chocolate chip?”
“Uh-uh. I want…something else. Really bad.” You patted him on the side for him to get up, but he didn’t budge. Fine, it was gonna be that way? You picked yourself up despite his muffled protests, the monster so relaxed and lazy that he refused to catch himself as he went toppling to the floor. You stepped over his motionless body and headed off to grab your housekeys.
“babe, come back.”
“The sooner we get there, the sooner I’ll eat ‘em and I’ll rub you for the rest of the night.”
He pouted. “s’late.”
“I know. But I’m not going to bed without addressing this, it’s going to drive me crazy. Please, Sans?”
It was nice to be able to walk to the store in the middle of the night. With a powerful monster as a boyfriend, you really didn’t have to worry so much about being attacked or stalked by creeps and weirdoes. In fact, the entire neighborhood was full of monsters who wouldn’t hurt a fly, so it was really refreshing to not have your guard up all the time. Moving in with Sans was probably one of the best decisions you could’ve made when the both of you were compromising on your living situation as a couple.
But oh man was he grumpy. Granted, you understood that this wasn’t planned and he really wasn’t known for his love of spontaneity. You would have to make it up to him later.
“Have I told you that you’re the best boyfriend ever?”
He grunted in response, shuffling along with that strained smile still on his face. Ooh, he had quite the short fuse tonight.
“Not anyone would tag along with their girlfriend in the middle of the night for a snack run. You’re too good to me.”
“babe.”
“No, I need to tell you how much I love this about you. Because you’re willing to sacrifice your time to do something that’s gonna make me happy. I don’t think I’ve ever dreamed of being with someone so considerate and kind. I love you.”
That did it. His sour mood waned just the slightest at your words, the affection behind them breaking through to him. You snuck a glance at his expression. The edge had faded and there was a slight flush to his cheekbones, his throat clearing as he shoved his hands in his jacket pockets to hide the slight shake to his hands.
The parking lot was near empty, save for a couple that belonged to the employees inside. You were so glad there was a twenty-four-hour store here so you could get your fix. In the darkness of the night, the fluorescent lighting inside was warm and inviting, but a little overwhelming once you passed through the automatic doors. It took a few seconds for you to adjust, standing in the doorway and trying to gain your bearings while heading for a cart.
“let’s get goin’.” Sans headed forward before you could take another step, ducking down low so that none of the cashiers could glower at him for ruining their otherwise quiet night.
It was a little eerie being here with no one around. The only people in the store were at the front, chatting with each other and not even trying to act busy. The aisles seemed longer, products looming over you with judgmental stares printed on their labels. Aside from the faint music playing on the speakers, an endless loop of songs that you would otherwise never listen to for a second in your life, it was dead silent. Well, maybe you could catch the slight whirring hum of the freezer section if you strained yourself.
You pushed forward, setting your phone down on the small space at the top of the cart, scrolling through the list of things you’d sneak in the checkout lane. You knew Sans was going to hate you for this, but he would get over it. Besides, once you grabbed things on the grocery list now, you wouldn’t have to worry about going on your next day off. Then the both of you could really sit for a whole day without moving an inch.
Where did Sans even go? Seemed like he disappeared. You didn’t bother calling out his name. If he wanted to be found, he would make sure of it.
You stopped in the freezer section and grabbed a few things. Yogurt, milk. Some snacks here and there. Not what you wanted, so you stuck your nose up at the various easy-to-bake treats that lined the upper shelves.
Ah, there he was. Down at the other side of the store, lingering near the electronics aisle. You shrugged and continued on your way, only to nearly jump out of your skin when you saw him pop up right next to you.
“SANS! You know how I feel about manipulating time and space!”
His eyesockets crinkled with laughter. “c’mon, no one’s around. just me n’ you.”
“Ugh, I know, but it still creeps me out and you know that. You’re just doing it for revenge because you have to be here, you little twerp.”
He shrugged and stepped around the corner into the next aisle. “heh, well, maybe if ya catch me i’ll stop.”
“Sans!” You knew he wasn’t bluffing. He would make you chase him around this whole damn store in order to get your way. And you were just stubborn enough that you would do it, too.
You rushed forward in an attempt to follow him. You took a hard right and rocketed forward into the next aisle, thinking you would knock him off his feet, but you were met with an empty lane of traffic. He was nowhere to be found. You looked from right to left, up and down, feeling a cold sweat on the back of your neck. Magic wasn’t something that scared you, but Sans’s ability to pop in and out where and when he pleased was still unnerving.
“I’m going to find you, Sans. And when I do, you’d better be ready to give up teleporting for the rest of the week!”
“heh. ok.”
“AHHHH!” You dashed forward as his voice resounded behind you, tearing through the aisle like your life depended on it. Hearing his laughter echo from your overreaction might’ve sent your ears burning, but you swore to yourself that he would pay for messing with you.
A relationship with Sans was always full of surprises. You felt like you learned something new about him every day. Beneath his lackadaisical attitude and his terrible puns, he really was a complex person. He cared more about others than himself. He poured effort into making sure his brother and the people he loved were happy. He almost never bragged about his accomplishments despite having so many, instead drawing the attention back to Papyrus so that he would gain a little more popularity.
Sans supported monsters in his own way. He uplifted them through his comedy. He put money into their businesses. He reached out to lonely people and made them realize that connections to others could still be made despite whatever happened to them in the past. He was easy to get along with. A little dorky for some, but enough that he seemed down to earth and not as intimidating as other people with as high of an intelligence.
You really loved him. Years of friendship and romance proved that. He was your partner in everything. And knowing that he would be there to suffer with you through all of your ridiculous requests meant a lot.
You cruised forward, picking out everything you needed, hyperaware of your surroundings. Listening for any sign of him. Turning your head to glance over your shoulder, biting your lower lip as you tried not to jump from his inevitable return.
Hmm. That felt like his magic. Maybe it was him? Or he was giving you a false trail. You froze in your spot and swallowed thickly, halfway expecting him to be just a few inches away from your face.
You knew how you could handle this. Just keep moving. He would have to pop up sometime. You ignored the gentle shudder down your back and put both hands on the bar, steering the cart toward the end of the aisle. With no employee in sight, you took off into a run and put both feet up on the bottom rack, zooming ahead at an incredible speed and the nostalgic joy sweeping you up.
You were so busy laughing with glee that you hadn’t noticed that you’d stopped halfway through the aisle.
Whoa. Not cool. You felt a surge of panic and tried to cry out, only to see that Sans stood in front of the cart with a grimace on his face.
“what…are you doin’?”
His magic faded from your body and you let out a shaky exhale. He’d never used it on you like that before, and it was kind of scary. You stopped exactly where you were and no matter how you tried, you couldn’t even give a wiggle of your nose. You weren’t scared of him. He could never do that to you. But you were a little more…intimidated now that you had a better understanding of his power.
Without batting an eye, you hopped down from the cart and walked over to him. Concern written all over him. Oh. He was…afraid. That you were going to hurt yourself. He didn’t really need to vocalize it. The beads of sweat pouring down the top of his skull and barely-there smile said it all. He was distressed because he thought that you might’ve lost control and ended up crashing into something. Or falling.
You wanted to ease his anxieties away, knowing full well that he confided in you before about his fear of losing you. He knew it was irrational, but it didn’t help to scold him for expressing himself with you, even if it was…kind of invasive, since he used his magic.
“Me? Oh, I was just…”
You put both hands on either side of his jacket collar. He gazed up at you in embarrassment, as if realizing that maybe he overreacted a little bit. But he leaned into your touch and let out a shaky laugh, the start of an apology already on the tip of his tongue. You bent down and pulled him up to your lips.
“Winning the bet.”
You kissed him hard enough that he froze where he stood. He let out a muffled moan at the suddenness of it, hand reaching up to snake around your waist to hold you close. You were so into it that you hadn’t even thought twice about where the two of you were. But after a short moment of reprieve where you went to take in a quick breath, you suddenly realized that you two would have given the entire store quite the show if there was anyone else around.
“wow…” He gazed at you intensely, his grin wider than ever. “you got me, babe. kind of underhanded, but i respect that.”
You snorted with laughter. “Thanks! I thought I might get that reaction out of you.” You reached for his hand and swung it around, lacing your fingers with his. “So are you actually going to stick around with me the rest of the trip? I swear we’ve got just a small list and we’ll be out of here.”
“ok. but only if you change out of the jeans.”
“Into what?”
“pajama pants.”
“Oooh, sorry. Were my legs not comfortable enough for your delicate skull when you were resting on them?”
“nah, it’s not that.” He glanced off to the side, shoulders hunched with a chuckle. “can’t feel how warm you are through the thick fabric, y’know? like to have as little as possible between us. between your skin and these ol’ bones.”
That was. Ugh. “Sans. We’re in…public. Don’t try to get me riled up.”
You walked around back to the cart and Sans followed you. With the images of him swimming in your head, uncovered and on top of you, it was a little hard to concentrate. You had to stop a few times and reread a few labels on the packages you’d picked up just to shake off any thoughts of you together.
“so, uh, what is that thing, anyway?”
You turned around in the midst of tossing something in the cart. “What?”
He stood in front and put his hands on the bar to steer it, but seemed transfixed with the tiny holes that faced his side.
“Oh, those are for little kids to ride in while their parents shop. They…don’t have those Underground?”
“nah.” Sans inspected it further, his brow furrowing as if he was trying to understand how it worked. He was a scientist, so things like this interested in him. Taking things apart and reworking them in his head. Grasping new concepts and ideas, embracing them for the sake of bettering the lives of others. “lots of little family-owned shops back there, y’know? not…big places like this. mostly just a small stand with a single owner.”
You thought about it. That was…strangely accurate. When you were Underground, it did seem a little cramped because the population was so squished in one place. It seemed a little counterintuitive that monsters would build grand shopping malls or stores just to give the residents free roam. They lived off whatever fell down and the land, so it made sense that their limited supply didn’t warrant a building like this.
“That’s true. I guess I kind of forgot about that. Um. So, families often have little kids that they need to take with them to run errands. So stores like this have made carts where they can plop right in, get strapped in, and sit safely while their parents are shopping. They sit here, see this little flap that drops down? Yeah, so, that’s where they sit, you stick their legs through, and you buckle ‘em in.”
Sans grinned. “this is…hilarious.”
“What’s so funny about it?”
“i dunno, babe.” He picked up the tiny belt. “just…humans. your species is built on convenience. never thought chains of stores would all adapt to this idea. and it’s so simple, too.”
“I guess so.” You didn’t really like that mischievous look on his face. “What?”
“i wanna see if i can fit.”
“In the kid’s seat?!” You burst out into laughter, tears stinging at your eyes and stomach cramping. “Are you serious?!”
“yeah. pick me up.”
“OH MY GOD, SANS. No! I’m not putting you in there like you’re my child!” You couldn’t believe this was really happening. He must have been doing this just for your reaction, because he seemed to thrive on it.
“c’mon.” He stretched his arms up. “s’go.”
“Fucking no? I’m not putting you in the cart. If you want in, then do it yourself.”
“you’re no fun.” He kicked at the ground and shuffled ahead, head lowered and shoulders hunched.
“Ugh. Fine.”
“heh. knew you couldn’t resist.” He came back faster than you’d ever seen him move. “keep it professional, ok?”
“I’ll try my best.” You scoffed.
With his short stature, he was easy to haul up if you put a little bit of effort into it. While human and animal skeletons were light because most of the mass had disappeared and it was nothing but a thin frame of what once was, monsters were different. Sans in particular was bulky and his bones were solid despite his thin appearance. You’d learned that the hard way when you ran into him accidentally and you toppled backwards because he stayed rooted to the ground like a goddamn tree.
“This is so dumb.”
“so is comin’ here at midnight.”
Checkmate. You sighed in exasperation and made sure that his legs went through. He was a little…bigger than the seat was made for, but he still fit. The sight of it was enough to gain a chuckle out of you despite your initial annoyance, and you reached for your phone.
He blanched. “h-hey. what’re you doin’?”
“Getting a picture.”
“babe. no. get me down from here.”
“You wanted this, Sans.” You pulled up the camera app. “Oh my god. I can’t wait to show this to Papyrus. He’s going to lose his mind.”
“what? you better not. this is between you n’ me. a pact between lovers, y’know?”
“No fair. You didn’t say that before I stuck you up there.” You were tickled at his now waning expression. Oh, this was incredible. He did this just to get on your nerves, but now he was at your mercy. The tables had turned. You were the one calling the shots! Literally!
You heard your name behind you and all of your positive feelings vanished. Sans’s expression mirrored yours. From the end of the aisle you saw one of the employees head toward you, slow and deliberate in their steps. Sans struggled to pull himself out and started to panic. Even with the seatbelt off he couldn’t figure out how to get out, his legs so snug in them that it would be near impossible to tear them out unless he had help.
You turned your back to him to shield him from view, placing yourself in front of the cart, desperately hoping that he would figure out how to get himself out of this stupid-ass situation. You would’ve done it yourself, but then the employee, whoever they were, would’ve seen exactly what you’d been doing and probably embarrassed the hell out of both of you. Enough that you and Sans would probably be sleeping in separate rooms tonight.
“Hey, it’s been awhile!”
You recognized who it was almost immediately. A monster that Alphys had tried to set you up with once upon a time. He was really nice, but at that point, you already had your eye on the skeleton that you were currently dating. He never seemed to understand why things didn’t work out between you, which was flattering, if a bit sad – you’d only gone on one date with him.
“Kind of late to be out.”
“I know. I had a craving.” You laughed sheepishly, hoping that the bulk of your outfit would keep Sans out of his line of sight. “You work night shifts?”
“I’m actually only filling in for a friend of mine.” He paused. “So, I heard you’re dating one of the skeleton brothers.”
“Um, yeah. I am, actually.”
“That’s cool. I’m glad you’re happy.” He didn’t sound like it. Yikes. “So what is it about him that you liked more than me?”
Whoa there, dude. This was not the kind of conversation you needed to have here and now. Especially not when your boyfriend was literally three feet away. You cleared your throat and coughed into your hand, trying to find some way out of this.
“Um, you know what? I’m glad I ran into you, but I have to get home to him, actually. I promised I would just be a second. But we can catch up some other time, so I’ll…text you, okay?”
“Oh. Sure.” His shoulders slumped. “Do you still have my number?”
“Yup! See you later!” Catch the hint!
He took one more longing look at you before turning heel, slinking away back to the front where his co-worker shouted at him about leaving the register unattended.
You let out a long sigh, leaning against the cart. That was close. When you had gathered yourself up so you didn’t pass out from a combination of adrenaline and embarrassment, you turned back to see how Sans was holding up.
He looked miserable. Hand on his chin, sweat still sticking to his bones, his grin slightly skewed and forced.
“so, uh. friend of yours?”
“Of Alphys, actually.” You bit your lip. “Um, want me to take you out?”
“nah.” He swung his legs up and down in a hard rhythm, irritation still woven into his tone. “should probably stay up here as punishment.”
“Oh, don’t be like that.” You put your hand on the bar and wheeled the cart around in the opposite direction of the other monster. You were going to take the long way to the snack aisle after all. “It was pretty funny. Before, you know, nearly getting caught by another guy I almost dated.”
His scowl grew larger. “what kinda guy asks about somethin’ like that, anyway?”
“Ugh, right? So gross. I mean, I’m sure he’s just a little desperate, but that is definitely not the way you talk to someone you haven’t seen for months.”
You rested your feet on the lower part and glided along the floor. Sans didn’t seem as afraid of you losing control and crashing, not when he could survey your expression and gauge when he had to intervene with his magic if need be.
“Anyway, what I would tell him is not what he would want to hear.”
“yeah?”
You dragged your feet along the ground to slow the roll of the cart, Sans jerking forward from the sudden stop.
“My boyfriend’s really funny. He makes the worst jokes, but he knows how to put a smile on my face. He’s considerate and knows when to give me space when I want time alone. But! He also knows when he has to intervene so he can make sure I’m really okay and not just putting on a front. He does a lot for me even though I can be a real pain in the ass. He’s an amazing kisser, handsome as hell, and sure does make me weak in the knees when he lays on the charm. And even if his suave act fails, he still puts me in a mood good enough to want to take things further without being afraid.”
You stood in front of the cookie aisle. Hell yes. Everything that you could’ve ever wanted all on full display. Your mouth watered as you thumbed through the bright and inviting packaging, scanning over the various flavors and recipes for the one thing that would put an end to this near insatiable tick in the back of your mind.
“This one!”
You held it to your chest, happiness thrumming through you. Why this was such a big deal was anyone’s guess, but you needed to pay. Right now. So you could grab one, pop it in your mouth, bite down, and let the flavors shoo away all of these intrusive thoughts.
“ready to go, then?”
“Yup. How ‘bout you?”
“heh. yeah, kinda getting a little sore being crammed in here.”
You struggled to pick him up. God, he really was wedged in there, wasn’t he? Hopefully it would satiate his curiosity so he would never want to do this ever again. He struggled and got his jacket caught on one of the edges of the cart, which nearly tore the entire thing off him and sent him into a panic. You realized you two needed to take things a little slower, so you eased him out inch by inch, finding it much easier to peel him away once he’d kicked off his sneakers and tucked in his limbs.
With one final tug, he popped out of the seat and landed right on top of you.
The both of you crashed down to the floor in a heap. Sans struggled to pick himself up just high enough so he wasn’t buried in your chest, a stifled laugh blossoming in his throat while you anchored your arms around him so he wouldn’t even think of leaving so soon.
“Nice of you to drop in.”
“heh heh heh. look, i’ve already fallen for you, no need to butter me up.”
Sans was the one to kiss you this time. In public. Wow. That was new. You made sure to let him know how happy you were with this decision, his name whispered against his mouth and bringing a lopsided smile to his face.
“Let’s get out of here. I’m going to rub you for hours.”
“ok.”
You wanted to avoid the register that the other monster was working at, but he waved you over as soon as he saw you. You shot a look at Sans that said exactly what you were feeling, but he didn’t seem too bothered with what was about to happen.
“Oh. Hey, Sans.”
“heya.”
“He came over because he was worried something happened,” you lied quickly. “Um. So…you guys are kinda slow, huh?”
The monster held a half-hearted conversation with you. He seemed more interested in picking Sans’s brain. You were counting the seconds until this interaction was over, dreaming about the cookies instead.
“nice meetin’ ya.”
“Have a good night!” you chimed, nearly rushing out the door.
Once you were outside, in the chilly night air, you attacked the bags and dug around for the packaging.
“whoa. watch the eggs, babe.”
You ignored him and tore open the bag. Grabbed the cookie. Put it to your lips. And crunched.
Heaven.
“Mmmmm.”
“babe, stop.”
“Mmmm!!!”
“you’re gonna finish the bag at this rate. i wanted to try one.”
That was true. You put it down and apologized with a mouth covered in crumbs.
It took about fifteen minutes to get everything back in their rightful place. You fulfilled your part of the bargain, slipping out of your clothes and into something thin. A nightgown so he could feel all up on your thighs, the little perv. You came out of the bathroom and Sans sat on the bed, the cookies in his hands, his jacket gone and The Look.
You knew The Look.
It was back to headrubs.
You sprawled out on the bed, the TV in your room nothing but background noise. Sans had his head nestled between your legs, eyesockets shut, breaths even. You concentrated on coordinating shoving cookies in your mouth and putting just the right amount of pressure on his bones. He was on the verge of dozing off.
“Sans?”
“hmm.”
“Did we forget the milk?”
His eyes snapped open. You grinned.
“Just kidding.”
