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I can’t believe we’re doing this.
Crowfeather’s eyes shone with joy as he trekked beside Leafpool, his pelt pressed against hers; both of their coats were windblown from being on the grassy highlands for so long, and their bellies growled with hunger, but still, Leafpool was beyond happy now that she and Crowfeather could be together, no rules or judging faces holding them back. The sun shone down on the shapes of the two travelers, its evening light slowly fading from the moor. Leafpool knew they would need to find a place to shelter for the night, but even if they didn’t, she knew she could spend the night anywhere as long as the lean warrior was beside her. When the former medicine cat gazed into the tom’s blue eyes, she hoped he would do the same for her, no matter the circumstances.
The truth was, Leafpool was afraid. She was afraid of what would happen to her clan now that she had given up all her duties to be with the love of her life. She knew there couldn’t be anything wrong with her decision, for Spottedleaf had very clearly told her to follow her heart, right? And ThunderClan would be fine; they had Cinderpelt, and Brightheart to help her. Nobody there needed Leafpool; the only cat who needed her, who wanted her, was the dark-gray WindClan tom beside her right in this moment.
Then why do I feel like I’ve made the wrong choice?
Leafpool knew the answer to that question. The two of them didn’t know where they were even going. What if there were dangers ahead, and one of them ended up dying? What if StarClan got angry and ended up punishing them? What would happen with the ominous prophecy Leafpool had heard in her dreams so very often? Before there is peace, blood will spill blood, and the lake will run red. The implication of death and tragedy made Leafpool shiver. The question that bothered her the most remained unanswered:
What will happen to my clanmates?
Leafpool knew her clan would be fine—she had no worries regarding the possibility of the extinction of her home; the prophecy clearly stated that there would be peace. In one form or another. Since peace between the clans relied on their completion, ThunderClan had no way of going extinct.
But how could Leafpool be sure that no cat would get hurt along the way?
Something’s clearly going to go wrong, she thought. It’s not what I want, but it’s what the prophecy tells me. It’s what the blood in my dreams tells me.
Apprehension and anxiety filled Leafpool from head to toe. There was no way of knowing if her sister, her parents, or any of her other clanmates would be okay, now that she wasn’t exactly in the vacinity to check. And she couldn’t call on StarClan for answers, nor would they visit her in dreams anymore. A pang of homesickness as well as regret shot through Leafpool. She would miss her home. Her family. Her friends. Her life as a medicine cat. But this is what she had to do. She loved Crowfeather, she couldn’t let him down. She couldn’t bear not being with him. He was everything to her. She would–
“Are you okay?”
Crowfeather’s voice interrupted the she-cat’s pessimistic thoughts. No, Leafpool told herself. Not pessimistic. I was being optimistic. I was quite obviously cheering myself up.
“I’m fine,” Leafpool replied calmly, studying the tom’s beautiful blue eyes. She could stare into them forever…
Concern crossed Crowfeather’s face briefly, but he shook it away, nodding gruffly. “I suppose we’d better search for a shelter. It’s getting quite late.” He glanced around the flattened-out landscape, unquestionably avoiding the ex-medicine cat’s unwavering amber gaze. Turning his head back,still not meeting Leafpool’s eyes, he mewed, “Oh, and prey would be pretty nice as well. I haven’t eaten since sunhigh!”
Leafpool pressed her body against Crowfeather’s, purring loudly. “I’m starving as well! You promised to teach me to how hunt on the moor, remember?”
Crowfeather rested his tail on his mate’s back, finally meeting her eyes; strong emotion shone in his dark blue depths, yet they held a faint trace of amusement. “We will have all the time in the world for such things,” he murmured, the closeness of his muzzle to Leafpool’s sending butterflies through her stomach. Then almost inaudibly, with a hint of sadness: “I’ll make sure our time doesn’t end as soon as mine did with her…”
Stars glittered overhead as the two cats padded onward into the unknown. The sun had fully vanished now, the moon casting a pretty white glow onto the hills.
Leafpool glanced up at the swath of stars that was Silverpelt, nervous about her and Crowfeather’s departure once more. I hope you can hear me, StarClan. Please tell me, send me a sign, anything; let me live knowing my clanmates are safe, so that I can enjoy my life with the one cat I love the most.
“Silverpelt shines more brightly than usual tonight,” Crowfeather commented softly, nudging the she-cat with his muzzle. “Perhaps StarClan is in favor of our choice. You musn’t worry, Leafpool, all will be fine. I will make sure of it.”
Leafpool wondered if the tom had noticed the thoughts nagging her from the back of her mind. As Crowfeather rubbed against her shoulder lovingly, she most certainly knew he cared about her.
“Hm?” Crowfeather queried as they crouched beneath a gorse bush the next day, tearing into a rabbit the WindClan cat had swiftly caught the night before. Leafpool remembered how in awe she had been of his skill, despite all cats from his clan hunting the same on the moors. It was Crowfeather; she admired everything about him.
“I just… wondered if we could find a forest to stay in. At least temporarily.” Leafpool couldn’t admit that the dense canopy comforted her. And reminded her of home. She really didn’t want to say the second part out loud.
“Sure,” Crowfeather responded, his meow muffled from the bit of rabbit he was chewing. “This moor honestly reminds me too much of home. I mean…” He trailed off.
Leafpool gaped at the warrior, shocked. She hadn’t even considered that Crowfeather would have doubts about running away, too. It was clear he felt homesick, just like Leafpool. Am I really that insensitive?
“Of course, of course! We can keep the lookout for a forest right away. But I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable under all the trees. I–“
“Leafpool.”
“–am only happy if you’re happy. It’s–“
“Leafpool!”
Leafpool jerked into awareness, embarrassment flooding through her as she realized that a cat was calling her name. She turned to look up at Crowfeather, but found only the round, tortoiseshell face of Spottedleaf before her, tiny stars twinkling at the former medicine cat’s paws. Leafpool realized the voice had not at all been Crowfeather’s deep mew, but the voice of this she-cat, her surreal shape hinting at at a dream. Leafpool’s surroundings had changed, too. The tight space speckled with early morning sun rays breaking through the branches had transformed into the seemingly endless flat grass of the StarClan hunting grounds. What am I doing here? Leafpool thought, hope making her heart beat faster. Could StarClan have answered my prayers? Please tell me my clanmates are okay!
“I have come to inform you–,“ Spottedleaf began slowly, “–that you, Leafpool, as ThunderClan’s medicine cat, are urgently needed in your clan.”
What? “There must be some sort of mistake! You said I should leave! You told me to follow my heart! Why should I return to ThunderClan? Why do they need me?”
Oh no… Leafpool thought, images of prophetic visions flashing before her eyes vividly. Before there is peace, blood will spill blood, and the lake will run red.
Could the augury have come true? So soon? I need to see my clanmates to see if they’re okay! “Spottedleaf, what happened?” Leafpool’s legs shook with alarm. “Please tell me no one is hurt!”
The starry cat looked down solemnly, a hint of grief in her movements. “Cats have indeed passed. We hoped you would return to us, but you did not, and now it is too late.”
Please, just tell me! Leafpool’s mind begged desperately.
“Many have died,” Spottedleaf murmured sadly. “Including Sorreltail and Cinderpelt.”