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“Ah hyung…!” Jisung called out, holding onto Minho’s arms and clinging on to it. “I told you, I am not helping you” Minho pulled his arm as Jisung fell to the ground, he cried jokingly. “I couldn’t believe my dearest roommate wouldn’t help me clean OUR room!” He goes, sobbing into the floor while still peeking for Minho’s reaction. Minho sat on his clean and tidy bed, in contrast to Jisung's dirty and messy bed across from him. “I helped you clean a lot of times, you’re going to be an university student in a year, learn how to clean up”
Laying down on his comfortable bed, Minho pulled out his phone from his pocket. “Do it now or you’ll procrastinate” He goes while mindlessly scrolling on social media. Jisung pouted in front of him, as he turned to his bed. It indeed was very messy, there was trash on top and under the bed. Minho didn’t know how he could be roommates for three years with him. Jisung was a year younger than him, but they’re both in their 12th year of high school. They both moved to Seoul for high school and decided to get a shared dorm to limit expenses. Minho would always clean up their room, but after 2 years he stopped and let Jisung clean up after himself.
Minho liked cleaning, don’t be fooled, it’s not like he’s doing it while bad mouthing Jisung behind his back. He truly did love cleaning, that’s why he volunteered to do most of the cleaning in their small dorm. Jisung was never the type to clean, but don’t get him wrong, he isn’t filthy. He cleans himself very well and smells good all the time, at least from what Minho can smell. He just doesn’t really clean his room that much.
Minho, who acted like he’s busy with his phone, secretly glanced at Jisung who tried his best to clean his side of the room. Grabbing brooms and swiping the trash away, while muttering something like “Why do we even need to clean when it’ll get dirty again?” to himself. A faint smile can be seen on Minho’s face. He seems to find the whole situation cute.
After living together for almost 3 years, it was obvious Minho has a crush on his dearest roommate. His friends, his friends would always tease him about it. He never denies any of the allegations. Even he, himself, thought that he was being way too obvious, that it was impossible for Jisung to not notice.
“Hyung, where did you put the new sheets again?” Jisung stopped his thoughts from getting somewhere far. “I think I stored a new one on top of those racks,” Minho said before going back to his phone. Jisung tip-toed and tried to reach the top of the racks. “Hyung- I ca-can’t reach it..” His whine can be heard as Minho groans, standing up from his bed, acting like he’s tired of the younger, but behind him some people can see an excited cat tail.
“You can’t do anything without me, huh?” Minho joked before he handed the new sheets to Jisung. The shorter one flashed his heart shaped smile, making Minho feel like his stomach just molded into a heart shape as well. “I can’t live without you, Hyung,” Jisung goes, as Minho quickly goes back to his bed, smiling. Sometimes he thinks whether Jisung was joking or being serious. He laid back down on his bed as he got into a comfortable position. Jisung sang silly songs while cleaning his bed.
“I cannot live without Lee Minho~” “My favorite person in the world doesn’t want to help me clean~” “I will live with Lee Minho forever~”
Minho just laid on his side facing the wall, hoping Jisung wasn’t paying attention to his red ears and flustered face. Jisung really does not know what he does to him.
-
“You just gotta tell him” Changbin spoke with food inside his mouth. Seungmin made a disgusted face “Eat first, and then talk” Minho played with his chopsticks, the ramen in front of him doesn’t look as appealing as it sounds. “That’s the dumbest idea ever,” he goes “I’d rather keep my peace and this moment instead of confessing and then ruining our friendship”
Changbin, an 11th year student who’s a year younger than him, and Seungmin, a 10th year student who’s two years younger than him, are his closest friends. They may not have the same classes, but they really are Minho’s day ones (after Jisung).
Changbin gulped down the food as he started pointing at Minho with his chopstick. “You’re dumb! This is a gamble, you stay here and get nothing, or you tell him and get something!” He goes acting like Minho is the crazy one. “Hyung, your spit is getting all over the table!” Seungmin made a very tired groan. He’s scrunching his paper and using it to wipe down all of the spit on the table (it wasn’t that much)
The three of them are outside of the supermarket near Minho’s dorm. Seungmin being the straight A’s student he is, brought his books and had the time to study while Changbin and Minho ate in front of him. “Here let me elaborate, you’re Jisung, i’m you” Changbin goes while patting Minho’s arm to get his attention. “Jisung, i like you, will you go out with me?” Changbin goes, with the most disgusting smitten expression planted on his face, as he puckered his lips, “Come here my dearest roommate” Changbin goes, teasing Minho with the name he saved Jisung as on his phone.
Seungmin let out an honest chuckle, as Minho glared at Changbin. “It’s not like that, stupid” Minho slapped Changbin’s lips as he groaned in pain. “Ah hyung! Why’d you slap me so hard!” Earning a laugh from Seungmin. Changbin went on to lecture Seungmin on how to treat an older person (like him), talking about Minho as well. Minho was too focused on the thoughts in his head as he played with the ramen using his chopsticks.
“Are you listening to me, hyung?” “No”
A groan can be heard by Changbin, followed by another chuckle from Seungmin. Minho wasn’t that interested in their conversations as he twirled his chopsticks around his ramen and finally ate it. It tastes better than he thought.
“Did you even ask about his sexuality?” Finally, a question asked with logic and critical thinking. Minho looked at Seungmin who’s tilting his head, confused. Minho tilted his head as well, following the puppy-like boy. Well obviously, if you like someone, you have to make sure you know about their sexuality first, right? At least that’s what should have happened. “Ah” was the only sound that flew out of Minho’s mouth.
Changbin let out a disappointed sound. “You didn’t even ask about his sexuality?” For once Minho actually thought Changbin had the upper hand in this conversation, the thought made him scrunch his eyes, annoyed. “Well i forgot i was a minority” Minho goes, twirling his chopsticks around the ramen again. The chopsticks looked like they had already absorbed most of the ramen soup by how red the tip was. “Do you want us to help?” Seungmin goes, actually caring.
But Minho doesn’t want to do anything about this ‘crush’ he had for years, it’s not like it's that big of a deal, he just thinks his roommate was cute. It’s not his fault that the feeling of wanting to touch him, be with him, live with him forever came after that.
Minho just shook his head mindlessly. Changbin went on and gave a lecture about what he should’ve been doing. For a while Minho actually listened and it felt like Changbin actually was the experienced one, but after a while he started joking and making fun of Minho, so he stopped listening to him.
The ramen tasted good that night, maybe it was because of the people that he was with, or the conversations that they had, or the name of his dearest roommate appearing a lot of times.
-
“Camping?” Jisung, who was folding laundry, was surprised at Minho’s suggestion. Little does he know, Minho was even more surprised looking at Jisung’s folded laundry, it was very tidy and neat. Minho nodded at Jisung’s question. “Next Saturday, I'll cook and set up the tent” Jisung folded his last laundry as he furrowed his eyebrows. “Then what am I for?” He asked, pointing at himself.
Minho froze for a second, he panicked, how can he tell him that he just wanted to be with him, sleep inside the same tent, eating the food the cooked, watching him-
“You’re in charge of holding stuff,” Minho answered quickly. It looks like his answer disappointed Jisung, as a pout can be seen on his face. Minho panicked again, he didn’t know what he should say to him. “Or.. you can fold our clothes, because you did great on your laundry” Minho pointed at the stacks of clothes on top of Jisung’s bed.
Jisung’s face lit up as his eyes sparkled “You think so?” Minho nodded. Jisung looked at the stacks again with a big smile planted on his face. Minho’s ears redden as he realized Jisung just wanted compliments, he doesn’t really care about what he should be doing while they’re camping, or what he could be a help of, he just wanted Minho to compliment him.
“Did you do Mr. Chan’s homework?” Minho asked, sitting on his chair. He pulled the chair closer against his desk as he turned the study light on. “Ah yeah, I forgot to give it to you” Jisung goes, rummaging through his backpack before handing Minho a notebook. “Thanks” Jisung hummed in response as he continued admiring his laundry, even Minho can hear camera shutters behind him.
Minho ran through the notebook, Jisung’s handwriting was very cute and small, there were doodles in each paper, some even writings about how boring the teacher or subject was. Minho got to the last page of his homework, as a small note caught his eye.
‘Don’t forget to give the homework to Minho Hyungie!’
Oh boy was he struggling to stand still. Jisung’s small chuckle can be heard behind him, even tik tok audio that he was watching on his bed, Minho could hear it. So why can’t he hear Minho’s loud heartbeat? Was it not loud enough?
Minho rested his knuckle on his forehead, leaning against it. A small smile formed on his mouth as he kept re-reading the small note that was written on Jisung’s notebook. The way he called him ‘Hyungie’ Minho begged to hear him say it to him face to face. How can someone be this cute, caring, loving and still does not have a partner?
After a while, Minho finally finished. He stretched and turned the lights off when he realized Jisung fell asleep. He slowly put his phone away and pulled out his blanket, tucking him to bed. Minho stayed quiet, admiring the soft sounds Jisung made while being asleep as his lips formed a soft smile. Jisung was the cutest guy he had ever seen.
He followed after as he laid down on his bed. Not really feeling tired as he scrolled on instagram and stumbled upon Jisung’s newest instagram post.
(a picture of a nicely folded laundry)
‘Did I do a good job on folding my laundry today? (Minho Hyungie told me I did)’
yang_jeong : what is this…
hyvnjn00 : minho hyungie.. *pukes*
j.hannie replied to hyvnjn00 : dont disrespect my hyung like that
leefeebook : you did great jisung 👍
The post made Minho giggle to himself. For the first time he smiled so hard his cheeks hurt. He couldn’t believe how cute Jisung is. His legs moved up and down against his bed, glancing a few times at Jisung across him, making sure he wasn't awake. He cursed a little under his breath, wishing he could just jump right into Jisung’s bed and cuddle together with him. His eyes closed slowly and that silly thought drifted him to sleep.
-
Saturday came by so fast, it’s already a day after their last school and just 2 weeks away from their college entrance exam. Minho was holding the bag of their tent with the cooking stove and other utensils. “Whoa, we’re gonna sleep here tonight!” Jisung ran around the place, looking as cute as ever with just a small backpack of our clothes on his back.
Minho had done a survey on the place beforehand, he wanted to make sure there aren’t any disturbances when they’re camping and to make sure Jisung stays comfortable, safe and happy with him. “Careful now” Minho goes as he puts down the tent and stove, letting out a small sigh of relief. He stretched his back and started assembling the tent.
The place was far from the cities, they got here by taxi. Minho didn’t want them to sleep near the forest because he thought small and big animals might disturb them, so he decided to camp at an open space near the lake. It was very beautiful, even Minho himself didn’t think he'd find this kind of place but he did. Jisung pulled out his phone and took a lot of pictures. “Hyung, it's so pretty!” He said, pointing to a butterfly that was perched on a flower.
Minho glanced and saw an excited Jisung with a phone in his hand, ready to take another photo. That moment made Minho thankful to himself for suggesting this bonding moment for the two of them. The wind blew on them as Jisung’s bangs fluttered away, he squinted his eyes and held on to the back of his hair, as if the wind would take it off of him. “Yeah?” Minho goes, Jisung didn’t realize how he’s the prettiest being in this place right now. If the butterfly could talk, Minho swore it would say the same thing.
A while later, he succeeded in assembling the tent. Jisung was the first one to check it inside, he squealed in excitement. “That means we’ll be sleeping together!” He goes, looking at Minho as if that’s the most normal thing to say. Minho just nodded, but the tip of his ear went slightly red. “I hope you don’t snore” Minho chuckled, covering his mouth with his hand. “Hey! I never did!”
The two of them spent half an hour decorating their place, well Minho didn’t really do anything, he just helped Jisung while Jisung told him where to put what. When they’re finished, they back away from the tent a bit and look proud of their craft. It looks really comfortable, they bought both of their blankets and pillows and assembled it like a nest for the both of them. At that moment it really hit him.
They’re going to sleep together.
Minho’s face got so red that the both of them panicked, for different reasons. “Hyung! Are you unwell?” Jisung goes, worriedly touching his forehead to check his temperature. “I’m sorry.. I made you do all of the work” He goes. Minho slowly pushed Jisung’s hand away “It’s okay.. I’m just a bit hot” Minho smiled softly at him. Jisung’s eyes lit up as he raised his eyebrows, as if a lightbulb could be seen next to Jisung, looking like he just got a great idea. “Let's go swim in the lake!”
And the next thing they know, Minho’s face got redder after seeing Jisung’s soaked body. Jisung chuckled as he splashed the water onto Minho’s body. Minho flinched, he was shivering and wondered why and how Jisung was having so much fun, the water was freezing. “Come on hyung it's not that cold!” Jisung said. Minho just stayed near the shore as the lake water only touched his tippy toes. He glanced behind him, seeing both of their t-shirts on the ground in dirt, as he looked back to the topless Jisung with a sunset breathtaking view behind him. Minho regretted not buying those new glasses that can take photos, because he wished he could hold onto this view forever.
Jisung on the other hand, dived and even yelled out a lot of happy sounds, screaming of excitement. Minho smiled softly at the younger one, he was glad Jisung had so much fun. Suddenly Jisung ran towards Minho, way too close as the water splashed on him making him flinch. Minho’s face was still flushed as he looked at how wet Jisung’s hair was. “You’re soaked” Jisung just smiled at Minho’s comment and shook his hair, making water splash from it, hitting Minho in the face.
Jisung chuckled “Not feeling hot anymore?” “Nope”
After they both changed clothes, separately of course, it was already night time. Minho was cooking food outside of their tent as Jisung sat down next to him. “What’re you making?” “Curry” As Minho stirred the pot and a sniffing sound could be heard next to him, Minho glanced at Jisung. The younger one smiled sheepishly “It smells good” Minho nodded at his compliment and kept stirring the pot.
After some moment passed quietly without any of them speaking a word, Minho felt Jisung suddenly resting his head on his shoulder. He froze, glancing towards Jisung. “Did you choose a university yet?” Jisung asked, speaking softly. Minho could smell the shampoo he used this morning. “Not yet, you?” He asked, hoping that he didn't sound panicked and Jisung couldn't hear the sound of his heart beating so fast. “I’ve decided” Minho was surprised at his reply, he didn’t know that Jisung had decided on a university already. “Where?” “I’m going abroad”
Minho’s eyes blinked a few times, as he pulled away. Jisung was confused as he stood up, not resting his head on the older’s shoulder anymore, he faced Minho, his eyebrows raised. “What? Where?” Minho felt something rise up in his chest, his heart and his whole body. His palms tightened up way more than it usually does, his eyes blinked and tried to search for a sign of lies in Jisung’s face.
“Malaysia, I had studied there when I was younger, remember?” Jisung goes, tilting his head as he slowly looks away to the distance. “I was still in contact with my friend back then, and we both decided to go to the same university, I already got permission from my parents and the school said I'd be able to pass easily” He explained softly, as if it was something normal and could be talked about anywhere and anytime. Minho felt his blood pumping faster than normal. This must be a big sick joke Jisung tried to make on him, it must be. The older one didn't want to believe the words that came out of the younger one’s mouth.
“What about me?” Minho suddenly sputtered out as he regretted it.
Jisung looked at him as his eyes rose up a bit. “What about you..?” Minho’s eyes widened. This felt unreal, this doesn’t even sound like Jisung. His nails dug up on his palms, he was way too irritated to realize. “What do you mean what about me? We’ve been roommates for 3 years and you decided to go to the same university with a friend that you last saw years ago!” Minho stood up, completely baffled by what Jisung just said.
Jisung’s mouth opened a bit as his eyes furrowed. “What?” For the first time in 3 years, that fond stare Jisung always does to Minho was nowhere to be seen. Minho kind of regretted saying what he said earlier, but his emotions were jabbled up together, he had no way of making sense of what he’s feeling right now. “I thought we would’ve gone to the same university? Didn’t you say you wanted to live with me forever?” Minho spat out, he could feel his breath quicken, he didn’t want to say it like this, but he really did think Jisung was stupid at this moment.
“What the hell? Why’d you make it sound like that?” Jisung stood up as well, Minho was surprised at how he raised his voice at him, but then again Minho did it first. Minho ruffled his hair. “I was saying that.. Just out of the moment.. I didn’t mean like living together forever like… that” Jisung goes, biting his lips, he looked away from Minho, couldn’t dare to look at his eyes. Minho’s eyes widened as he felt his own soul leaving his body.
Maybe he was the stupid one, maybe he was the one who didn’t realize Jisung does not have any feelings towards him whatsoever, maybe he was the one who shouldn’t have said anything.
“You’re being weird, Hyung.. What happened?” “Me? I’m being weird?”
Minho pointed at himself, a slight chuckle can be heard from his mouth. He couldn’t believe this moment was happening. “Yeah you are! Why are you like this? It's my choice to choose-” “I’m disappointed in you!” Minho yelled out. Jisung’s eyes widened as he looked at Minho like he just said the most disturbing thing the younger one had ever heard.
“No- I’m heartbroken- You- You- Fuck!” Minho yelled. His hands messing up his own hair as if it could help the messed up thoughts in his head. Jisung furrowed his eyebrows, he didn't know what was happening at the moment as he looked confusedly at the older one. Minho wiped his face, trying to stay composed without losing his shit. He looked at Jisung in the eyes as he bit his lower lip. “Seriously what are you trying to say, Hyung?” Jisung was frustrated.
“I like you”
Defeated, Minho sat back down on the chair. Letting out a long sigh, ruffling his hair again, messing it up even more. “I didn’t want to confess like this, fucking hell!” He groaned. Jisung’s eyebrows rose up as he stayed quiet, and just listened to his roommate’s voice. “I liked you since the first day we lived together, you were the cutest and kindest person I’ve ever met, you took care of me even though I’m older than you, you helped me with my studies, you made me feel like the happiest person in the world”
Jisung didn’t know, he didn’t know that was his roommate’s feelings, he didn’t notice, he didn’t realize, and he regretted making him confess like this without his consent. Jisung sat back down as well, he let out a small sigh. “I’m.. sorry-” “Don’t be, it’s not your fault” Minho goes, massaging his temple. Jisung fidgeted with his hands, he didn’t know what to do.
Even the curry was too scared to make any sound or smell.
“Do you still want to eat?” Minho asked, not even looking at Jisung. Jisung felt something in him shattered. “No..” He answered. Minho stood up and put the curry inside a container, he also didn’t feel like eating after all of that, he’d decided to just eat it back home. After he finished cleaning up, he glanced at Jisung, who stayed quiet the whole time. Minho had lived long enough with him to know that the younger one was blaming himself.
“I’m sleeping first,” Minho said as he went inside the tent. Leaving Jisung all alone outside. Minho was way too irritated and disappointed in the younger one, he didn’t want to talk or see him at this moment. He got ready for bed as he laid down, staring against the wall of the tent. For a while he regretted saying everything that he said, he should’ve stayed quiet and just let Jisung say whatever he wanted, it’s not even in his place to say that, they’re not dating after all.
Jisung followed him inside soon after, zipping up the opening of the tent so mosquitos could not follow them inside. He stayed quiet and laid next to Minho as well. Their backs facing against each other. At that moment, Minho regretted buying a small tent, he was thinking of having a ‘happy accident’ with Jisung but now that thought backfired him, he didn’t want to be anywhere close near the younger one at this moment.
The two of them stayed quiet for a while, but it was obvious none of them could sleep after what had happened. “Did anyone else know?” Jisung suddenly spoke in the softest tone Minho had ever heard. “If that’s what you’re worrying about, don’t worry, I won't say anything-” “That’s not what-” Jisung stood up a bit, looking back at Minho who didn’t even move from his position. Jisung quieted down as he sighed and rested on his side again.
“That’s not what I meant, I was wondering if you told anyone first before me” He goes on, fidgeting with his pillow. “I told Changbin and Seungmin,” Minho answered, staring at the plastic wall. This moment made him regret not listening to Changbin, he should’ve confessed earlier and this moment wouldn’t have happened. He wanted to have a comforting moment with the younger one, but it turned out like a forced confession and a heartbreak in a second. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Jisung thought it was unfair how he was the third person to know.
Minho was surprised at Jisung’s question. As if that’ll change anything. That was what he wanted to say. “I didn’t want to ruin our friendship” Minho answered, sighing from his nose as he closed his eyes. “That friend of yours, are you two that close?” Minho’s turn to ask questions. Jisung stayed quiet for a bit, before he answered. “She’s my crush for years”
A small breaking sound can be heard coming out of Minho’s chest. He didn’t know the younger one even had a crush. Minho looked at his palms that stung from all of the force he put on his fingers. Suddenly he was reminded by Changbin’s words. ‘You didn’t even ask about his sexuality?’ Changbin’s face popped up on Minho’s mind and it annoyed him at how much Changbin was right and how he should’ve listened to his best friend. Jisung was not like him, Jisung was ‘normal’.
“I’ve had a crush on her for almost 13 years now, since we saw each other in Malaysia, I thought she wasn’t interested in me so I kept messaging her like a friend, comforting her when she’s down, giving her advices and making her laugh everyday” Jisung goes on, rambling about this girl that Minho doesn’t give fucks about. Hearing the amount of years his own crush had been crushing on someone else made Minho feel defeated.
“She was a silly childhood crush, but I don’t know why I’ve never been attracted to other girls other than her” Jisung goes. What about him? He wasn’t a girl. “But I’ve never heard you on the phone with her,” “Because I didn’t want to disturb your studies, or disturb you in general, I’d rather not talk to her on the phone than making you feel uncomfortable”
Minho then realized something, this whole time he thought he might’ve had a chance, it was just Jisung being nice, it was his idea of being nice. Remembering his favorite scent, buying the same blanket so they could match, calling him Hyungie, singing silly songs about living together, resting his head on his shoulder, those all were his idea of being a nice friend. A nice roommate.
“So what you said about wanting to live together forever with me was a lie?” Minho spat out, his voice cracked, making him feel embarrassed. Jisung stayed quiet for a while. His soft voice went on “That wasn’t a lie, I really wished we could live together, I honestly don’t know if I can live without-” “Make your point” Minho cut him off, he was tired of Jisung’s soft words that easily got inside his heart and made him feel fluttered.
Jisung frowned a bit as he answered. “I wasn’t lying, I wanted to live together, as best friends” He stayed quiet again, wondering if it’s okay to say all of the things in his mind. “I wanted us to grow old together, laughing at other people, stressing over taxes together,” He goes. Minho pinched his hand, he couldn’t believe his heart still wavered at Jisung’s soft words. “But with her.. I wanted to build a family, I wanted to have kids who look like her, the nostalgic memories I had with her made my head hurts because we couldn’t do it all over again,”
“She confessed to me the other day, I was ecstatic when I realized she felt the same way, she too, wanted to build more memories with me” Jisung goes, Minho can hear a sigh from him. “That’s why I decided to be with her, to make up for all of the years we lost due to time and distance” Minho closed his eyes, forcing himself to just fall asleep. He doesn’t want to hear anything else, that’s enough for his heart, any more would make him actually die.
Seconds turned to minutes, minutes turned into hours. The two of them slowly drifted to sleep with the conversation ending at just that.
-
3 weeks passed after Minho’s forced confession. Jisung had been accepted into the university in Malaysia that he wanted to go to, while Minho also got accepted to a university in Seoul. They haven’t had long conversations after that day. Jisung had been acting colder than before, Minho understood though, he must’ve not want Minho to get the wrong idea ever again. Their room was quiet as Jisung packed the last things he needed. Minho was scrolling on his phone, looking at other people’s posts about vacation and getting accepted into a highly prestigious university.
Jisung sat on the end of his bed, facing Minho who was laying on his own bed. “Can we talk?” Jisung goes, getting the attention from the older one. “What is there to talk about?” “Hyung, I’m serious” Earning a groan from Minho, he stood up, sitting on the end of his bed as well, finally facing Jisung after 3 weeks not being able to look at him face to face.
Jisung looked brighter, shinier, like he was very happy and excited. Minho remembered Jisung used to look like this to him, but now he looks like this because of someone else. “I.. wanted to say sorry about the other day” Jisung goes, fidgeting with his fingers. Minho sighed. “What are you even sorry for? It was my own will and desire to confess to you like that” Jisung frowned as he looked at the older one with pity in his eyes. It disgusted Minho.
“Stop looking at me like that” “Like what?” “Like you feel sorry” “But I am sorry..” “If you’re sorry will you listen to me when I say don’t go?”
Jisung eyebrows furrowed as he looked away. That’s what Minho thought. He hated how Jisung stared at him with that disgusting pity in his eyes, where’s the fondness, the eyes full of love that he used to stare at Minho with?
“Are you seriously not sending me off? My plane is literally in an hour” Jisung goes, worried that Minho might regret this a while later. Little did he know, Minho didn’t even want to see his face ever again, he hated himself so much that seeing Jisung’s face reminded him of all the feelings he had for him. He hated himself. “Just go” Minho goes, laying back on his bed.
Jisung stayed quiet for a while. Minho noticed he must’ve decided to not pry on any longer. Jisung grabbed his suitcase as he put on his hat, the hat that Minho gave to him on his birthday. “I’ll be going, Hyung, thank you for the three years you’ve taken care of me” Jisung flashed his heart shaped smile. Minho just hummed as a response. Jisung then slowly walked out of the dorm, closing the door behind him.
It was quiet, for the first time in his room it was this quiet. Even after that day, they would still have some small talks about the test or subjects, but now it was quiet. Way too quiet for Minho’s liking. He slowly stood up, groaning when he saw the empty bed. No more of Jisung’s cute patterned bed sheets, no more of their matching blankets, no more of Jisung’s soft snoring at night. It was empty, plain, and boring.
Suddenly the door to his room opened, Minho’s eyes widened, deep inside his heart he had hoped Jisung turned back and decided to stay with him. Unfortunately, the door opened revealing Changbin and Seungmin, with ramen and boba tea in their hands. “We met Jisung in the hallway, he looks disturbed” Seungmin goes. “We bought food” Changbin flashed the hot ramen. “I bought the one you hated because it’ll make you cry” He explained his reasoning.
Seungmin laughed. “You never cried so we decided to just force you to cry” Minho just stared at the two of them. Suddenly a slight tear fell out of his eyes. Changbin’s and Seungmin’s eyes widened as they panicked when Minho sniffed softly. Changbin walked towards him and wrapped his arms around the older one. While Seungmin opened up cabinets to look for tissues.
“I-I should’ve confessed earlier..” Minho sobbed softly on Changbin's shoulder. “Yeah, I told you” He earned a smack on the back from the younger one. “It was perfect, Changbin, to me it was so perfectly right.. I thought I had a chance..” Minho closed his eyes, tears just fell out of his eyes. Seungmin ran and gave him some tissues he finally found.
“There, there” Changbin caressed his back gently, comforting him. “I loved him, I loved his pure, clear, full of love eyes that always gazed into me like I’m the most beautiful person he had ever seen,” Minho sniffed, wiping his eyes with the tissue Seungmin gave him. Seungmin was surprised at the sight, he never knew Minho could cry like this.
“What was my fault? Is it because I’m a man? Why’d he wanted to create babies that much huh? Is creating a family so important to him?” Minho choked, he coughed in between the questions as Seungmin handed him another tissue. “Enough, Hyung..” Seungmin goes, patting Minho’s shoulder.
“I wasn’t enough for him,” Minho coughed up. “I could give him my all and it still wouldn’t be enough” He sniffed. Seungmin earned a glare from Changbin because his words made Minho talk about being enough. Seungmin let out a small chuckle. Minho sniffed softly. Even though half of his heart was taken away, he was thankful there are still his friends here to comfort him.
He wondered, does Jisung ever think of him as someone dearest to him? Were there moments where he made Jisung’s heart flutter just a little bit? If he had confessed earlier, would things be different from now?
He gripped Changbin’s shoulder tighter. He never knew the idea of creating a family was so important to Jisung, he had wished Jisung thought of him as family as well. He cursed himself for being like this, being someone ‘abnormal’. If he was ‘normal’ like Jisung, he wouldn’t feel this great hate towards himself. He hated his feelings, his own mind, and his identity.
Maybe in the next life when he’s born a girl, or Jisung’s born a girl, maybe until then he would finally be able to live together forever with his dearest roommate.