Work Text:
Situationship
Nut hated that word.
He couldn't stand the implication that you didn't know where you stood with someone. Not knowing was dreadful. Being clueless about trivial things was fine. Nut was happy to play the fool with his friends, to be the butt of jokes and pretend he didn't understand when LYKN teased him. But love? Relationships? Those mattered.
Admitting he was in a situationship was hard, but he could not deny it any longer. They were… He didn't know what they were and that was the whole fucking problem.
Following Hong with his eyes wasn't even conscious anymore. Not just glancing, but lingering. The way his gaze dipped to Hong's lips for a fraction of a second, wondering how they'd feel. Who looked at their friend's mouth and imagined the taste?
He should be sick of Hong after spending almost every single day of the last year with him. He got annoyed sometimes by William not respecting his personal space—not often, but from time to time. He got fed up with Lego's mood swings despite the youngest being one of his favorite people on the planet. He got irritated by Tui's constant energy and chatter even if Tui was genuinely one of his best friends. But he wasn't any of those things with Hong. Never annoyed, fed up or irritated, and he'd spent more time with Hong than anyone else.
And anytime they were out together—just the two of them, in something that felt strongly like a date—he couldn't help but wonder and hate that damn stupid word for messing with his head. They'd done this more often last year for some reason. Going out after schedules, sometimes with their assistant or manager, but most of the time just the two of them. There were even a couple of times when Nut had simply picked Hong up and drove him to a restaurant or café for no other reason than to spend time together.
Like today.
Truthfully, Nut had missed Hong. A lot. Too much to be healthy. They'd spent the better part of last year glued together, had never spent more than two or three days apart, so going from that to nothing for a whole week—that wasn't… Nut didn't have a word to explain what he had felt. He'd had fun with his friends and family. Had rested properly for the first time since LYKN debuted. But there was always this constant ache, like something was missing.
Nut wasn't really a phone person. He spent a lot of time on his tablet doodling and losing himself in drawing that cute little puppy, but he wasn't chronically online and definitely not the type to answer a text within a few minutes. Except for this week, because Hong was constantly messaging him. So Nut had made an effort to reply in a timely manner to his stupid memes and constant updates detailing his day. It was endearing, okay? And when Nut received that pouty selfie—cheeks swollen, eyes pleading—because Hong had been through his wisdom teeth removal surgery? He'd been ready to drop everything at the drop of a hat and rush to Hong's for cuddle time. Or just to cook him some soup.
So when the opportunity had presented itself—when Hong was able to eat properly again—he'd proposed going out, having spotted another restaurant they could try. Truthfully, Nut just hadn't been able to wait another week to see Hong. It was too far away in the future.
Maybe this year would be the year he got sick of him, because they would, once again, be spending a ton of time together, not just for LYKN, but for their series '21' as well. As excited as he was to act again, the uncertainty of what loomed over them with this project didn't help matters. P'X, the director, had said it was their choice how Way and Night's story would go—whether there would be romance between their characters or not—but Nut didn't know what he wanted. Nut wanted to act, he wasn't closed off to romance at all, but with Hong… With Hong it was always layered with something else that complicated matters.
He had hoped that seeing Hong in the flesh again would make him realize he was just stupid and overthinking, but oh boy, was he wrong. The moment Hong stepped out of the door, Nut couldn't deny his heart had somersaulted. There was just something about Hong in casual clothes. Light blue jeans that Nut was sure hugged his waist perfectly under a loose t-shirt with some random graphic. It was nothing fancy, but it still made him look gorgeous, effortlessly attractive in a way that was terrible for Nut's sanity.
When Hong opened the car door and slid into the passenger seat with a gentle "Hey, Nut," and his signature smile, Nut properly melted. He'd never be able to deny how much he missed that smile, that one specific smile aimed just at him as if they shared some kind of private joke. He had no idea what the joke was, nor if they had the same conversations in their heads while looking at each other, but he loved the idea that they did, that they understood each other perfectly without a word.
Without a word, Hong took control of the bluetooth and put on their playlist, because apparently that was a thing too. They had their own playlist. Hong had made them a playlist for when Nut drove him around, and it was so full of love and yearning songs that Nut wanted to smash his head against the windshield because of it. The opening notes of Keshi's "Soft Spot" drifted through the speakers, and Nut's hands tightened on the steering wheel.
"I'm wrapped around your finger and I can't stop
You know I got a soft spot for you."
Driving always occupied his mind and stopped him from overthinking, so Nut drove away. In silence first, before asking how Hong had been, what he'd done during their break. He already knew all of that, because Hong had updated him on every single moment, but he needed to drown out the voices in his head that screamed he was probably half in love with his coworker/friend/situationship. Slowly, he was able to go back to his usual self, chatting and cracking stupid jokes that made Hong laugh way too loud. Sometimes Nut wondered if Hong was genuinely laughing or simply indulging him, but either way, it always made him feel proud and happy to hear that sound.
They had a pleasant evening. The food was great, the conversation flowed endlessly. Nut still couldn't grasp how they never ran out of things to say to each other. Nor how their relationship had evolved from mostly silence to this constant stream of chatter. He couldn't deny they'd been drawn to each other from the start, at least on his part, but it had been mostly them basking in each other's presence, exchanging a few words here and there. Comfortable, but also kind of awkward because they were both so quiet. But now? Now he wanted to tell Hong everything and listen to him speak for hours on end.
Which was probably why they were still parked outside Hong's building, engine turned off, lights out, and had been for the past hour. Nut simply didn't want to go, didn't want to leave and spend another week before seeing Hong again for their first rehearsal back after the break. He'd rather stay here and look at his face illuminated by the streetlight, his grey hair turned almost white and his skin even paler, which always fascinated Nut because Hong wasn't exactly pale to begin with. He'd prefer to listen to him speak while their playlist hummed in the background rather than drive silently back home. He was fine here, perfectly content.
Except for the fact he still didn't know what they were. Didn't know if it would be okay to lean across the console and taste those lips and check if that tongue was as sweet and skilled as it looked. The not knowing was killing him.
"Who would you want to spend your last day with if you knew it was your last?" Hong suddenly asked.
If Nut hadn't been looking at his lips as he spoke, he would have thought he'd imagined it. It was so out of the blue, so random and far from what they'd been talking about just moments before. His brain scrambled for an answer, and it probably took too long, so Hong dove into an explanation about some trend he'd seen linked to anime or books where the characters knew they were going to die, where the end of the world was looming and they needed to either accept their fate or try to fight it back. And how that got him thinking about what he'd do in their stead.
"If the world was ending, you'd come over, right?"
Nut was about to implode, because the question might seem simple, but it was loaded. The tone of voice—questioning, but soft. Those damn eyes, crinkled and expectant, focused on his face. And those lips drawn in a knowing smile. Hong was driving him crazy on purpose, and Nut knew his answer without a shadow of doubt.
Yes. If he knew his time had come, he'd want his last moments to be spent with Hong. He didn't care what they'd do, could even die without ever having tasted those lips as long as he'd be able to take his fill of looking at him, hear his voice for hours and see him laugh over and over again.
But as usual, Nut didn't know what he was allowed to share. Was Hong opening a door, trying to coax something out of him, or was he just being his flirty self, or his doubting self seeking reassurance? So Nut deflected. As he always did when the tension crackled just a little too loudly, when the air felt too charged.
"Ai Hong! Of course! Mostly to kill you before the bad guys arrive, because you'd be too loud and get us caught."
Nut could drown in Hong's laugh—he knew the melody by heart—so he didn't miss how different it sounded this time. Not exactly softer, but airier somehow. And the sparkle in his eyes was shining so brightly it made his breath stutter while his mind drifted to a thousand scenarios. Would Hong come over? Would he want to spend his last moments with Nut? He wasn't imagining all of this, was he?
Hong's seemingly silent happiness was enough to make him just a little bolder, so Nut asked.
"You'd want me to come over, right?"
Nut didn't get a verbal answer, but he didn't need one, because when Hong stepped out of the vehicle half an hour later, he turned around and called softly.
"Ai Tee, there's this new café nearby. Are you free tomorrow?"
He was in a situationship, in a torturously delicate situationship where neither of them was acting on it, but both of them knew that if one of them dared, the other would be there, willing to spend their last moment together.
Nut still hated that word and he'd rather not die with that label still attached to them. So he'd need to act on it someday. Maybe sooner rather than later, because if he ever was to kiss those lips, he'd rather do it as himself before doing it as Way.