Chapter Text
“Mistress, would you like me to make you some breakfast?” Sarah-Jane asked as I sipped my drank my blood-doped coffee and read over the latest issue of the Wall Street Journal .
“Oh, I’m not hungry. I’ll have Gail whip me up something later on.” I lied to SJ, knowing that she wouldn’t question it further. My housekeeper had slept in this morning, and judging from the late night she had with my driver Taylor, I might look into retiring them together.
Everyone else around me ages, and I can’t let them realize that I can’t. Might have to cobble together a new name and ID soon, and shuffle around Karnstein Industries through a dozen holding companies. I should call up Theo.
“Should I go wake her, Mistress?” Sarah-Jane seemed a bit too helpful this morning as I peered into her.
Concern. Ovulating. Want babies.
I kept my face neutral as I shook my head slightly. “Let her sleep in; I can take care of myself.”
“Yes, Mistress.” SJ gave a respectful bow as she looked around for something to do, and settled for going back to her room. I tried to delve back into the paper and understand America’s credit downgrading, but my submissive’s thoughts left me wondering what was going on with her.
The pattern of the clicks of her computer mouse indicated that she was on the internet again. I thought back to when I used to call it ‘surfing the world wide internet web contraption’ and was relieved when they quit making that loud noise that was worse than nails going across a chalkboard.
I recalled the excitement that people had when the telegram machines started working in Great Britain, but whenever I thought of the mid 19th century, my thoughts quickly turned to Mary’s death and my subsequent internment under Ell’s control.
She’s lost my scent; perhaps she’s finally met her own final death?
I knew better than to be so naïve, but as long as she still thinks I’m deep underground, she won’t come after me through my girlfriends - partners, submissives- never girlfriends. Never again.
That’s the lesson Elladora and Mother taught me; don’t get emotionally invested in mortals. They will fade and die, or else they will demand that they somehow be ‘turned’ to spend eternity with you.
I can’t even stand myself, why the hell would I condemn someone else to such a fate? Not even Kimberly deserves the curse of immortality.
Curiousity got to me and I went over to my office and remoted into her PC, as well as check her internet history.
BDSM boards, cat photo boards, star trek roleplaying… and expectant mothers.
“Sarah-Jane, what are you up to?” I ask myself as I’m about exit out of her account when she gets a private message.
What to expect as a surrogate mother?
“SJ!” I called out, making my way to her room. “We need to talk!”
As I pass the threshold of the doorway, she was already in the kneeling position, looking penitent as she knew I was angry.
“Yes, Mistress?”
“What are you up to? I expressly gave you rules to follow when you’re on the internets!”
“-Internet, Mistress.” She corrected me as I had instructed her to.
“Thank you, now why are you looking into being a surrogate mother?!”
“I want it for us, Mistress. I know you stated that you can’t have children, but I can have them for you! I can even carry your fertilized egg to term-”
“-I said no. You are coming dangerously close to insubordination.” She knew that meant at least twenty lashes with my whip.
It silenced her as she looked to the ground, tears rolling from her eyes. “Mistress, I know you stated that you could never have children, but there’s been advancements where I can carry your baby-”
“SILENCE.” I command, and she shuts down instantly. “Look. At. Me.” As she does, I don’t even have to use my Insight to understand the pleading look in her eyes.
She wants more in our relationship.
She wants to be pregnant and raise a family.
Sarah-Jane wants the one thing that will get me caught as an immortal.
I can’t let her out me; if Ell is still around…
Do it fast like pulling off a bandaid.
I reach down and remove her collar, making her tears flow even faster than before.
“Your contract is hereby terminated. I can provide you transport back to The Marketplace in an hour.”
SJ’s eyes shot up at me, wide in shock as she shook her head defiantly. “I refuse. I love you, Mistress. PLEASE!”
Her words stung deep as I trained my features to be unnaturally still.
“Love is irrelevant. I never promised you that.” I turned away from her and made my way out of her room. “Pack your things.”
Through her sobs I heard her mutter “I’m sorry” repeatedly. Taylor and Gail were finally up and looking at each other uncertainly as they must have overheard everything.
“Taylor, prepare to drive Sarah-Jane to the airport; I’ll book her a flight to New York.”
“Yes, Ms. Karnstein.” He shuffled away quickly while my housekeeper Gail gave me a pointed look.
“What?” I asked, inviting her criticism.
“I know I’m just your housekeeper, but the only times I’ve seen you almost happy is with SJ.”
“In my playroom, where I beat her.” I reply dryly.
She rolls her eyes at that. “And she apparently likes it. Why can’t you listen to her? Maybe negotiate a deal.”
I shook my head. “I made my decision.”
“Then change your decision. We both know you hate being alone, and all I can chalk it up to is some messed up relationship from a long time ago.” She sighed heavily. “When my husband died, I didn’t think I’d ever be able to love again.”
“I know about you and Taylor.” As I said that, her face went pale. “You two sneaking around has been adorable. And you both are allowed to stay employed and dating if you want.”
Gail smiled awkwardly. “I know he’s more than ten years my junior-”
“-well when you get to be my age you realize age is just a number.” I winced as I caught myself saying too much. Mrs. Jones, however, laughed it off.
“Yes, of course the the richest millionaire under 30 in Styria would say that.” She gave me an honest look. “You deserve to be truly happy, not just content.”
“She wants children. I can’t give her that.”
“She wants to belong as part of a family. And you know she can go get herself pregnant anytime she wants. She wants to do this with you.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, knowing that I’d probably regret this. “I don’t know if I can ever have children here. Do you and Taylor…?”
She looked down regretfully. “I can’t anymore; too much of a risk at my age. I’ve told him as much, that maybe he should settle down with someone who could give him children, but he’s adamant that he loves me.”
“Tell Taylor that he won’t need to go to the garage.” As soon as I said it, Gail beamed at me.
“You won’t regret this.”
“Oh, I already am.” As I went back into the submissive’s bedroom, SJ stood in front of an empty suitcase on the bed as Tool played in the background. She always liked her grunge-angst.
“Sarah-Jane…” I didn’t know how to begin. She used the remote to turn the volume up.
Jesus, won't you fucking whistle
Something but the past is done?
“Turn it down.” I command. I see her hesitate before she complies.
Why can't we not be sober?
I just want to start this over.
Why can't we drink forever.
I just want to start this over.
“You released me, removed the collar. I don’t have to obey you now.”
“I was hasty. Let’s talk this through.” She dropped to her knees, face and eyes listless in the distance.
“Fine, Mistr.. I can’t call you that, nor do I want to use your given name, Ms. Karnstein.”
I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you.
I will chew it up and leave,
I will work to elevate you
Just enough to bring you down.
“I don’t want children.” There, I said it. It was a bald-faced lie, but the closest thing I had to a family was the big cat sanctuary where I volunteered occasionally.
“I want a family.”
“Why didn’t you note that on your file at The Marketplace?”
SJ shrugged. “I changed; when I first applied, I didn’t think I could serve or love women. Alexandra showed me that I could indeed do so.”
“I don’t love you.” Maybe I was right to release her. She clicked the remote again and the music stopped altogether.
“Not as I love you, no. But you have been a great Mistress to me and let me serve you.”
“I can’t have children.”
“If this is about you being a young, single businesswoman-”
“-it’s not that, Sarah-Jane. It’s... genetic.”
“Is that why you never let me see you naked? I’ve felt your skin and the scars-”
“-please don’t change the subject.” I stopped her thought process immediately. “If you want to have children, someday, then... “ I shook my head in bewilderment. “I won’t stop you, but not now. I’ve got a hostile corporate takeover to stop, and the bottom fell out of the market and the DOW lost over 600 points on Monday night…”
“I didn’t know, I’m sorry.”
I waved her off. “Not your concern, just… I’ve got things going on, too. And I’m sorry for acting so rashly and taking your collar. Do we need to re-negotiate?”
Sarah-Jane smiled as she shook her head towards me. “Not at all, Mistress.”
I placed the collar back on her and grabbed a fist-full of hair as I dragged her behind me to my playroom. “Good, because I need to put that smart mouth of yours to work.”