Chapter Text
"I'm so scared..." Alex whispers, tears streaming down his face, emotions showing the vulnerability of a child. "I'm so, so scared."
"If I don't do this, what's going to happen? Why can't I do this?! What's wrong with me?!" Alex shouts with the passion that he always had, screaming with raw emotion, voice cracking on the last sentence as he sobbed with panic and hurt.
The world was rough and choppy, like the sea back on Nevis, and Alex breathed shallowly as his storm raged on around him, both in his head and out. He cried, clenching his fingers into a fist, nails stabbing into his palms.
"PLEASE!" Alex screamed his throat raw, pleading for something, even he didn't know what. "I need a miracle, or someone to just please, PLEASE understand! I need someone to understand, please! I'm scared, I'm so scared."
He gasped for breath is short bursts in between his crying, his cries for help, "No one understands! They can't understand if even I can't understand!"
He shouts, ever-louder in the sea of wind, "I HATE THIS ! I HATE EVERYONE! I HATE EVERYTHING!" The raging words come in short and rapid succession. In between his bursts and outcries, he forces gasps from his sob-ridden body. He screams his heart and pain and salty tears away, loud in a raspy voice, wishing someone, anyone wound hear his words, and would come to comfort him, and tell him everything would be alright, and be able to make it so.
He takes a breath, and looks down at his hands, giving a haunted whisper, "I hate myself..."