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Tony Stark didn’t like waiting. He liked it when people were on time. Of course, he understood the merits of being fashionably late, but it was long past fashionably late.
“Where is he?” he asked, sounding a little whiney but not really caring.
“He’s still coming, I’m sure,” Steve said from next to him, his voice almost soothing. It’s getting darker outside, and they’ve been standing on the rooftop under the symbol projected onto the sky for a few hours, and nobody’s shown up yet. Clint’s been shooting arrows into the symbol for about half an hour now. They’re getting bored, except for maybe Steve. He still looked ready to go and entirely too patient.
“Maybe he’s not here,” Clint said, notching another arrow.
“Of course he’s here,” Tony said. “It’s Gotham. He lives here.”
“It’s almost ten,” Natasha said mildly from somewhere behind Tony.
“Ten?” he repeated, staring up at the sky. “But it’s getting darker.”
“Isn’t Gotham some kind of freak show?” Peter asked. “Like, really super dark all the time and also super crime-filled? Maybe he got held up.”
“Is Batman even real?” Tony asked, regretting this whole idea. “Like, isn’t he an urban legend?”
“Spiderman’s an urban legend,” Peter pointed out.
“No he isn’t,” Clint said.
“Wait!” Steve said, holding out his hands. “I hear something.” The Avengers fell silent.
“Jarvis, scan for life,” Tony whispered.
“No life forms nearby except for you five,” Jarvis responded instantly. “And the people below on the streets.”
“There’s nobody here,” Tony sighed, straightening up. “You must have heard someone below.”
“I guess,” Steve said, but he sounded unsure.
“Jarvis is never wrong,” Tony said confidently.
“Jarvis, huh?” a new voice said. Tony froze. Steve pulled out his shield. Clint notched his bow. Natasha pulled out her guns. Peter flipped down from his perch and stood primed to move. “Is that the name of your AI?” Tony couldn’t tell where the voice was coming from. It sounded young. The Avengers formed a circle, standing back-to-back.
“Where are you?” he asked. “Jarvis--”
“Oh, Jarvis has been hacked,” the voice explained. “It can’t tell you where I am.”
“Or how many of us there are,” another voice interjected. Tony still couldn’t tell where the sound was coming from.
“Are you Batman?” Steve asked. The voices laughed.
“Nice try, but no,” the first voice said.
“Do you want me to be Batman?” the second voice said. “I can be Batman.” His voice dropped into a low growl as he said the last few words.
“Are you friend or foe?” Peter asked loudly. “I’m thinking friend, because you didn’t set off my spidey-senses--”
“Spidey-senses?” a girl’s voice asked. “That sounds both really lame and really cool.”
“It’s cool,” Peter said.
“What do you guys want?” Natasha asked.
“You don’t ask that question on my turf,” a boy’s voice said.
“ Our turf,” the girl interrupted.
“On our turf,” the boy said, sounding like he was mocking her. “What are you doing here?”
“We just want to talk!” Steve said.
“Talking now,” the girl and Clint said at the same time. There was a silence.
“Anyway,” one of the voices said. “Who do you want to talk to?”
“Batman,” Tony said. He pointed up at the Batsymbol in the sky. “We called for him not you guys.”
“Woah, there’s a second Batsymbol out today?” a voice asked, dripping sarcasm. “I never noticed that! Did you, BG?”
“Nope,” the girl said. “You, N?”
“Never,” a boy swore. “What about you, Rob?”
“I refuse to succumb to your childish games,” the boy’s voice sneered.
“Wow. I’m hurt,” the girl said. “Aren’t you, Mr. Stark?”
“Stop playing with us and reveal yourselves,” Steve commanded.
“Who?” a voice asked. “Us or Batman?”
“Batman isn’t here, so--”
“Aren’t I?” a voice growled from behind Tony, from inside the circle, and he stumbled away and turned around, to reveal--the Batman,
“See, Tony?” Peter said. “He is real?”
“Yeah,” Tony muttered. “Really dramatic.” The whites in Batman’s eyes narrowed.
“What do you want?”
“Mr. Batman,” Steve started, stepping forward. “Me and the Avengers are here in a diplomatic mission to extend the hand of friendship between the Avengers and the Justice League.” Batman frowned.
“Why didn’t you go to the Justice League, then?”
“We are meeting with the leaders individually, to make sure they have full consent before we approach the entire League. You may have noticed we didn’t bring the whole team. This is so we seem nonthreatening.”
“Yeah, a hundred year old war veteran, a couple of assassins, a kid in spandex, and a billionaire with fancy gadgets is totally nonthreatening,” the girl said from the shadows.
“I know some assassins,” one of the voices said thoughtfully. The boy in the shadows hissed.
“I know kids in spandex,” another voice said and the shadows sniggered.
“Wonder Woman’s a war veteran,” the girl said.
“As for billionaires with fancy gadgets--” Batman frowned at the shadows and the voice said, “Well, that’s just unrealistic.” The shadows sniggered again.
“Am I the first you’ve talked to?” Batman asked.
“No,” Clint said. “We’ve talked to Superman, Green Arrow, and Flash already.” Tony couldn’t help but remember what Oliver had said when they told him about heading to Gotham--”Good luck with that, buddy,” and had laughed and laughed. Superman had looked like he wanted to warn them and now Tony understood why. These guys were lunatics.
“Does the results of your meeting with Arrow explain the partnership between Queen and Stark Industries?” one of the voices asked while Batman said, “So that’s what Superman meant.”
“Yes it does,” Tony said, ignoring Batman’s comment. “Everyone said yes.”
“So what do you say?” Clint asked. “To the hand of friendship?”
“I don’t care if you work with the League,” Batman said flatly. “You do what you want. But don’t ever come into my city again.”
“What if there’s an international crisis that needs addressing in Gotham?”
“If there’s an issue in Gotham, I can handle it,” Batman said. “If you need to contact me, ask the League. But I work alone.” The shadows sniggered once more, and Batman sent a quelling look at them. Tony wasn’t sure if he was actually looking at anyone, but the shadows shut up.
“Please, Batman, we need to have a working relationship, here--” Steve tried but Batman held up his hand.
“It’s laughable that you think you can come here and do whatever you want. I don’t care if Superman gave you free reign in Metropolis, if Flash gave you free reign in Central. Don’t come back to Gotham. And Miss Romanoff--” Natasha stepped forward, cocking her eyebrow. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t reveal my secret identity to anyone.” She smirked.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she said, and Batman turned to face Gotham.
“Now leave my city,” he said. “I can handle everything here.”
“Because you work alone,” Peter responded. Batman half turned.
“Exactly,” he said, then he jumped off the roof. A man in blue and black appeared out of nowhere and dove after him. A boy in yellow and green flipped over their heads and pulled out a grappling hook, lifting away. A boy with a feathered cape flew over their heads. And a girl in black and purple landed in front of them and curtsied, holding out the edges of her cape.
“Adios, Avengers,” she said, then she fell backwards and a few seconds later flew by, holding onto a man in a leather jacket and a red helmet on a grapple.
“Maybe we should go,” Steve aid timidly and Tony turned around to pack up his Batsignal--only to see a blade shaped like bat, lodged firmly in the glass, shattering the lightbulb, rendering it useless.