Chapter Text
Hello, my friend. Before we go anywhere, I’d like to make your acquaintance. I am the Narrator, and I will be joining you on your adventure. What adventure, you might ask? Well, I need to get the setting out of the way real quick, so please excuse me for a moment.
You wake up bright and early this Saturday morning. You’re excited, as this isn’t any normal Saturday…
You rub your eyes and yawn. Then you get out of bed and stretch. “That’s right, Narrator,” you say. “Summer has begun and I’m officially a high school graduate!”
Then you realize something. “Wait, since when did I have a Narrator in my life?” you ask, confused and startled.
Well you’ve had a Narrator since now, silly! You see, something important is happening today, and I certainly don’t want to miss it. I don’t want you to miss it either.
“Wait, what?” you ask. “What’s happening today?”
I can’t just tell you! It’ll ruin the story!
“What story?!” you ask impatiently.
Best not to tell you now. How about we talk about something else?
“OK,” you say angrily, and begin to rant. “Let’s talk about why you should get back out of my life! It’s my last first day of chill time, there’s nothing on my schedule today, although I think a new Geometry Dash Gauntlet came out today, I should probably go try and beat it. Anyways, I’m not planning on doing anything today, so please leave, go narrate someone else’s life.”
Oh OK, bye then.
“What the heck was that? That was really strange, I’ve never heard of omnipotent voices just coming into people’s lives and yapping about everything you do before, how odd. Wait a second, I feel like this voice thing knows too much. He knew I was excited this morning before I even displayed any emotion. Or what if he’s controlling my emotions? That would be weird. Makes me wonder what else he knows about me, now I’m getting kinda scared. Hey Narrator! You still there?!”
Yes? You called?
“How did you know I was excited?” you ask, worried. “Or were you controlling how I felt?”
How did I know you were excited? I’m the Narrator, of course! I see all, hear all, know all, and talk about it to whoever needs to hear it. And I can’t control any of it, if that makes you feel better.
“Wait,” you ask. “You know all? Everything? Are you--?”
No, I am not the Man Upstairs. Like I said earlier, I simply observe, I have no powers.
“This feels like an invasion of my privacy,” you say. “How long have you been watching me exactly?”
Since today, when I was sent to you. Also, no, you can’t know who sent me yet, you’ll see for yourself soon enough.
You sit down on your bed and hold your head in your hands. “I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that Carolina Reaper yesterday. Now I’m tweakin’ out and hearing strange voices telling me strange things.”
Well, if that’s what you think it’s fine with me.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
…
“He’s gone…”
…
“Well, this day isn’t going to be chill on its own, I better get outta bed and go get my morning coffee. Maybe that’ll clear my head up.”
…
“Alright, coffee finished, time to ingest this work of wonders.”
Before you can drink your coffee, however…
You groan in disappointment. “Ugh, the Narrator is back. What do you want?!”
As I was saying, before you can drink your coffee, a car crashes through the wall and misses you by just a few feet.
“Wait, WHAT?!” you scream as the vehicle takes up the space that used to be your kitchen wall.
As you stare at the scene in disbelief, you notice the figures in the car. In the driver’s seat is a tall redhead boy with a red shirt and a blue scarf, with a happy look on his face. In the passenger seat is a boy a little bit shorter than the redhead, he has a brown shirt and brown hair, a pirate hat, and a more serious expression on his face. In the backseat is a short girl with curly brown hair, a gray shirt, and a high-tech phone. I’d say she looks cartoony, but honestly all three of them look cartoony.
“Get in!” yells the redhead. “No time to explain!”
“You’re a man on a mission, Matey!” says the boy with the pirate hat.
“Please insert yourself into the automobile as quickly as possible,” says the girl. “We’ve got quite the journey ahead of us!”
You struggle to get your words together. “WHY DID YOU-- YOU JUST-- THE WALL-- YOU COULD’VE-- USE THE-- THERE’S A FREAKING DOOR!!”
“Be not afraid,” says the redhead. “We know how doors work.”
“That’s not the point!” you yell, slowly regaining composure.
The boy with the pirate hat speaks up. “We received a distress call from deep within Sustairsus, and it explicitly stated that YOU are the person who can resolve the issue.”
Then the girl speaks up too. “Whoever sent for you believes the power of DnB is strong with you, now you must find it within yourself on this journey to complete the mission. So let’s go!”
“OK, I have many questions now,” you say as you step back and motion for a time out with your hands. “What’s Sustairsus? What’s DnB? What’s this cliché ahh plot that has just been proposed to me? Wait a second, am I being kidnapped? Should I call for help?”
“We’re not kidnapping you!” says the redhead. “Of course not! We would never do such a thing!”
You shake your head. “Yeah, these crackheads are trying to take me to their hideout so they can… I don’t even know what they want with me. I’m calling 911.”
But upon checking your phone, however…
“Are you serious?! My phone is dead!” you yell. “I’m really starting to hate you, Narrator.”
Didn’t you also say you had nothing to do today? You might want to consider joining these three on their quest.
“Absolutely not!” you snap back.
“Come on,” says the girl. “It won’t last THAT long.”
“Yeah, you’ll be back before supper, so don’t worry about it,” says the boy with the pirate hat.
“And I’m just supposed to believe you after meeting you five seconds ago?” you ask, reaching your last nerve. “Not to mention you crashed through my wall!”
“I can assure you we are trustworthy individuals,” says the redhead. “And I’ll prove it too. Hey Narrator, are we trustworthy?”
Of course, these three are the heroes of this story, and you can be a hero too by joining them.
“How is that supposed to convince me that you’re trustworthy?” you ask the trio.
“Well you see, the Narrator is unable to tell lies because his sole purpose is to convey stories ACCURATELY,” says the redhead. “He knows stories inside and out, he knows everyone’s truest intentions.”
“So now that you know for a fact that you can trust us,” says the boy with the pirate hat, “how about you climb aboard, Matey!”
“Narrator, if I do this, will I die?” you ask.
If you play your cards right, you will emerge unscathed. And you’ll be back before supper.
“Well, my parents are gone for the day, so I’m sure they won’t mind if I’m back before supper like you said,” you reply. “I guess,” you quickly add on to the end as you get in the backseat of the car next to the girl.
“Excellent! Welcome aboard, recruit!” cheers the boy with the pirate hat. “Now let’s get this show on the road!”
“Way ahead of you!” says the redhead. “Car, play SOUND HOLIC - 全人類ノ非想天則!”
Nothing happens.
“Shoot, I forgot that doesn’t work on the Surface Realm,” the redhead says, disappointed. “Whatever, let us continue without music!”
The car backs out of your kitchen, and eventually manages to find itself on the road. You worry about the redhead boy’s driving capabilities, but he holds his own perfectly well on the road. As the car moseys down the nearest boulevard, the girl gets you caught up to speed on what exactly is happening.
“OK,” she says, addressing you. “Are you aware of who [THEY] are?”
“Uhhh, no?” you respond, rightfully confused.
She begins her lecture. “Well, [THEY] are a codename used for some of the most important and powerful leaders of this world, [THEIR] true identities have not been revealed and likely never will be. Now answer me this, has the world been in conflict recently?”
You think long and hard about recent events around the world and eventually you reach your conclusion. “Now that I think about it, not really, I guess.”
“Exactly!” the girl continues. “[THEY] created a realm, a second layer under ours, called Sustairsus. [THEY] send people, characters, and ideas to this realm that [THEY] want out of sight and out of mind from the general public so they can’t cause trouble on the Surface Realm. How exactly [THEY] do this is unknown. I keep a log as to what has been transported there, says the last thing transported there was a person called Kris Tyson (Threat Level: High).”
“Well, what’s stopping them from just leaving Sustairsus?” you ask.
The girl wastes no time answering you. “There is an indestructible barrier that separates Sustairsus from the Surface Realm, it also provides the gravity to both Sustairsus and the Surface Realm, also meaning that the core of the Earth is the sun of Sustairsus.”
You’re flummoxed by this. “You lost me fifteen minutes ago and we’ve only been talking for around five.”
She pulls out a piece of paper and a multicolor pen. “I’ll draw a quick sketch for you, let me know if you’re still confused.”
She whips up the following drawing in about a minute:
You look it over and think before making your response. “OK, it makes sense now, but this is really strange. So theoretically, you could just hop a rocket on one side of Sustairsus and blast off to the other?”
“You’d die, but yes.” she responds.
All of a sudden, the car comes to a screeching halt.
“Hey! Why are we stopped?!” yells the boy with the pirate hat.
“Light’s red,” says the redhead.
The boy with the pirate hat crosses his arms over his chest. “So, you stop for a red light, but you don’t take the time to open our new friend’s front door?!”
“I’m absolutely siding with the guy with the pirate hat here,” you say assertively. Then you realize something. “I actually never caught your names.”
“Oh goodness! We were so caught up in this mission we forgot to introduce ourselves!” says the redhead. “My call sign is OrangeAsh, but you can call me Ash for short. I provide the team with transportation, as I’m the only one old enough to drive most vehicles with an unrestricted license. I also have a perfect memory and have been diagnosed with UYD.”
“What’s UYD?” you ask.
“Uncontrollable Yapping Disorder,” Ash replies.
“Oh,” you respond.
The boy with the pirate hat introduces himself next. “My call sign is TheRadBrad, but you can call me Brad for short. I provide this hearty crew with strength and speed when we so need it. Although someday, I wish to sail the High Seas and know the unknown secrets of the Big Blue, but these guys don’t think pirates are as cool as I do.”
You crack a smile. “Well, pirates are pretty cool, I must say.”
Brad punches his fist in the air. “I just KNEW they were perfect for this mission as soon as I saw that name in the distress call!”
Finally, the girl introduces herself. “My name’s Emma, but you can call me Emma for short lol.”
“But you already are short,” you respond.
Emma cracks up. “Shut up, silly!” She calms down and continues, “I provide this team with a tech-savvy brain and a detailed log of Sustairsus called the Archives on my phone. It includes what went in, what left if anything did somehow, and lists of known glitches, more on that later. It’s so big, I haven’t even read it all yet, so I don’t know everything and can’t answer all your questions.”
“She’s also a werewolf,” Ash adds, “but it’s fine because Sustairsus doesn’t have a moon, or a nighttime.”
“Interesting,” you say. “May I ask what this crew is called?”
“Oh, it’s called--” Ash starts, then he cuts himself off. “The light turned green! Finally, let’s go!”
The car continues down the road at a moderate pace. As it does, Emma continues her lore drop.
“Alright, I gotta make this real quick! So, maybe around a year ago, an ICBM named Mimi-Chan tried to escape Sustairsus. She got pretty close, but couldn’t make it out before detonating. Although when she detonated, it blew a small hole in the Barrier. This hole is at a very specific location that not many people are aware of.”
“And we have just arrived at said very specific location,” Ash says as the car slows to a halt in front of a building you wished you’d never see again.
“Wait, I literally went to school here,” you say softly. Then you get more upset. “I never wanted to return to this building ever!”
“I can understand why,” Ash says. “Lots of suspicious activities go on around here. To the point where we’ve nicknamed Sustairsus as Under the Hood, or even shorter, just The Hood.”
“Oh yeah, real quick,” Brad says, addressing you. “You’ll need one of these.”
Brad hands you a small red button.
“What’s this?” you ask.
“You have to push the button,” Brad says. “It will grant you access to enter The Hood. After Mimi-Chan made the hole, we found it and patched it with a special gate. Nobody from The Hood or the Surface Realm can cross that gate unless they’ve pushed the Button.”
You push the button, and both you and the button glow red for a few seconds. When the glow fades, the button vanishes.
“Congratulations!” Brad cheers, clapping. “You can now enter and exit The Hood freely!”
“OK, cool,” you manage to say.
“Now let’s move out!” Ash says energetically.
The four of you exit the car and Ash locks it. You all walk over to a small storage shed connected to the school. Upon entering, Ash opens a manhole cover on the ground.
“Alright,” he says, “time for everyone’s least favorite part.”
You back away, an expression of immense disgust on your face. “Nuh freaking uh! I am NOT going in there!”
“So, are you joining us or not?” Ash asks, slightly annoyed.
You hold your head in your hands and groan. “Ugh, fine! But I better be able to clean myself after this!”
“Excellent!” Ash says. “Now we’re going in.”
You brace for the smell, and all of you head into the sewers. As the four of you travel deeper, Ash explains their job to you as he guides everyone through the maze of pipes with his memory.
“So, new recruit, in regards to your question about our (left) crew earlier in the car, we call ourselves the Hood Rangers. Our job is to (right) help the residents of Sustairsus (watch out for that drop) adjust to their new life and new home and do our best to peacefully (go straight here) keep The Hood a safe place. We’ve been (two lefts and a right) doing this on our own accord, we aren’t (go down this pipe here) paid by anyone or anything, although sometimes (right, then left) residents of The Hood donate to us as thanks. We’ve done this (another drop, watch out) since we found Mimi-Chan’s hole.”
“Please don’t word it like that,” you say, tapping into your dirty adolescent mind.
“Unnecessary comment, Narrator,” you say.
“Sorry,” Ash says. “Since we found the hole Mimi-Chan made.”
You keep going straight through the pipe for a little more until Ash motions with his hand to the destination. “Alright everyone, we’re here!”
You and the Hood Rangers arrive in front of a pipe with a strange blue-green glow emanating from it.
“Alright, new recruit!” Ash says, addressing you. “You wanna go first?”
You back away from the pipe. “Absolutely not! I want someone on both the sending end and receiving end of this Mario ahh pipe to make sure I’m safe.”
“Alright, reasonable,” Ash responds. “Usually being asked to be the first to go is an honor in our ranks but, your loss I guess.”
Ash puts his hands on the side of the pipe and is about to push himself into it, when he stops and looks back at you. “Also, you don’t have to, but we like to yell silly stuff as we go down the pipe.”
He then continues into the pipe, as he does, he yells “MIDNIGHT EXTRAVEGANZA!”
The echoes of his words hang in the pipes as he disappears. You become very unsettled and begin to have trouble breathing.
“This is terrifying,” you barely say out loud.
Emma approaches the pipe and looks at you, a big smile on her face. “You’ve pushed the button, so it’s perfectly safe to cross the gate. Watch!”
She puts her hands on the side of the pipe, pushes herself into it, and howls at the top of her lungs.
“I guess Ash saying she’s a werewolf makes sense now,” you say, trying to distract your uneasy mind.
“Yeah, she’s got that dog in her,” Brad says. “Anyways, I’m the last one on the sending end, so after you Matey!”
You approach the pipe carefully and silently. Gazing into the glow seems to calm you down somehow, but you’re still nervous.
You look back at Brad. He gives you a thumbs-up. “You got this!” he assures you.
“OK, here goes, I guess,” you say, your voice shaking.
You put your hands on the side of the pipe, push yourself into it, and yell…
“WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO?!”
You lose consciousness as you travel through the pipe.
…
You wake up in a trough of water with the blue-green light glowing from the pipe behind you, as if you just finished riding an otherworldly waterslide. You are inside what seems to be a common room in what you assume is the Hood Rangers’ house or headquarters. Ash and Emma help you up.
“Ooohh, man that felt weird,” you say as they help you to your feet.
“Hey, you! You’re finally awake!” Ash says.
You also notice that the sewer smell is completely gone, but decide not to ask about it.
“How long was I out for?” you ask instead.
“You’ve been lying in that trough for a few days now,” Emma answers. “Glad you’re finally up!”
You become alarmed. “Hey! You said this would be quick enough for me to be home before supper!”
“Relax, I’m joking,” Emma says, suppressing laughter. “It's normal to just pass out like that after crossing the Gate. Bet you forgot the trip here too.”
You think back to when you went through the pipe, but you can’t even remember what you said as you went down it. “Yeah, I can’t recall going through the weird glowy pipe anymore,” you say.
“You should probably step out of the trough, though,” Ash says. “Brad will show up any second. I’ll go get everyone some towels.”
You step out of the trough as Ash runs to get towels, and as if on cue, the glow gets stronger and a few seconds later, Brad comes out of the tube. He’s unconscious at first, but wakes up around ten seconds after arriving. Emma helps him up.
“So, why does it knock us out?” you ask.
Emma drops some more lore on you. “The barrier works differently depending on which realm you’re in. In The Hood, it acts as a physical wall you can’t cross. In the Surface Realm, however, once you pass the barrier, you continue deeper into Earth as if there’s no Sustairsus. After crossing the gate, your consciousness was transferred from the Surface Realm to The Hood. It’s like restarting a computer, kinda.
You think for a little bit, and then you ask your question. “Wait, then in that case, what happens if you go down the funny pipe without pushing the button?”
Emma stares directly into your eyes. “You die. :3”
“Oh , I should’ve guessed that,” you respond.
Ash returns to the crew. “I’m back with TOWELS! Towels for all my friends!”
As the four of you dry off, you decide to ask some more questions about your mission as they come to your mind. “Hey, so back on the Surface Realm, you were talking about Drum n’ Bass or something and then it was never elaborated on.”
Ash does the lore drop this time. “Oh, you mean DnB! It’s how we survive in The Hood. Since a lot of powerful beings and cartoon characters with special powers and whatnot get transported here, we, forgive me for using this term, “normies” have almost no way to defend ourselves. So we implemented DnB into the button to protect ourselves, so now you can use it too!”
You feel as if your question was unanswered. “OK, that explained the ‘why’ but not the ‘what,’ I can tell you yap too much, you were right.”
“My apologies,” Ash says, then he continues. “When someone, anyone from The Hood attacks anyone who has pushed the button, both parties are temporarily placed in a two-dimensional plane. The DnB user is represented as a small red circle, and can move freely in the plane, and the attacker is transformed into a somewhat abstracted representation of themself. Music plays, the DnB user is attacked by the enemy to the rhythm of the song and the user dodges until the song ends, and you get ten hits to survive the whole thing. Fights typically last around a minute and a half, but it depends on the endurance of the attacker. If this still doesn’t make sense, watch a Just Shapes & Beats playthrough.”
You begin to process the information that has just been bestowed upon you, when Brad speaks up too. “You forgot some stuff, Ash. Where’s that ‘perfect memory’ of yours buddy?”
“Man, cut me some slack,” Ash says. “It’s a lot to keep track of.”
Brad continues. “Every entity in The Hood and on the Surface Realm has untapped DnB energy. But it can only be activated by those that have pushed the button. Also, Ash was feeling real quirky or something when he named DnB. He named it because you DODGE attacks and BOP to the music. Dodge n’ Bop. DnB.”
You take a few minutes to go over all the info in your head, and then ask your next question. “I’m afraid to ask, but now that I have the ‘why’ and the ‘what,’ can I have the ‘how?’”
Ash looks directly at you. “Nope.”
“Why not?” you ask.
“Hood Ranger secret,” he answers. “Upgrade from a recruit to an official Hood Ranger and we’ll tell you everything about how the button works.”
“Oh,” is all you manage in response.
“However,” Ash starts, “I do think it would be a good idea for you to get used to fighting DnB style before we actually go out into The Hood. And note that while DnB users have to learn and get used to the fights, attackers don’t and they can be extremely powerful even on their first fight. So I will attack you, but I’ll keep it simple since you’ve never done it before. And we won’t be able to talk once we’re in there. Ready?”
“Oh boy,” you say.
Quick note about DnB fights in this story before you go into your first fight. I will simply describe what happens in each fight. How well you perform in each fight will be left up to the imagination of the one on the other side of the screen.
“Gotcha, Narrator,” you say.
You sense you are being attacked and go into a DnB fight against Ash.
You take a second to look around and get used to bordered two-dimensional existence. You move around the pitch-black plane a little, until you see the red resemblance of Ash. He smiles and waves at you, then you hear the music start.
Ash moves over to one side of the plane and begins to spawn in walls that move in one direction towards you. Then he moves to the other side of the plane and repeats.
Ash moves to the center and spawns in orbs that orbit around him at varying speeds. After doing this attack for a while, he then ups the ante and speeds up the orbs for a while longer.
Ash calls off the orbs and moves outside of the plane. You see two horizontal warning zones appear. Laser cannons fire in those zones shortly after. Ash does it again vertically, then he causes small sprays of pellets to emit from the corners of the plane. He repeats this sequence three more times with the laser cannons in varying locations.
He then returns to the plane with a weapon resembling a sawblade on a string. He brings back the walls from the start, while also flinging the sawblade in and out of the plane.
Ash then closes you into a donut-shaped space with himself in the middle, and moves the sawblade around in there, forcing you in a circular motion. He also begins to shoot small orbs radially outwards into the donut.
Ash then removes the enclosure, and launches a few pellet sprays upward from the bottom of the plane. You then see some circular warming zones, and you get out of the way as they light up like spotlights. Ash repeats this attack a few more times in various locations. Then Ash gives you a thumbs-up and winks.
You win the fight and both you and Ash return to your usual states.
“You did pretty good for a first timer!” Ash cheered.
“That was kinda strange,” you say, reflecting on the fight. “Ash, you don’t have any of those lasers or sawblades and stuff outside of these fights, do you?”
“Oh, of course not,” Ash replies. “Most attackers don’t realize this, but as long as attacks aren’t impossible, you can attack however you want, with whatever you want. We use that to our advantage here when we need to.”
“That’s extremely interesting,” you say. “And you people deal with this every day? Think of the poor Narrator who has to describe the fights!”
Thank you, I’m deeply moved. I better get a raise by the end of this, because I can assure you that you will have many more fights before your mission is complete.
“Well it’s not that bad once you’re used to it,” Ash says.
“I guess so,” you say. “It’s kinda like using a jetpack in Geometry Dash.”
Brad speaks up. “Oh, I forgot some more stuff.”
Ash makes an exaggerated surprised expression with his face. “No way, you forgot?! Where’s that ‘average memory’ of yours buddy?!”
Brad facepalms. “Your two lips miss each other, let them have some time together, OK?”
Ash covers his mouth with his hand and holds back a laugh.
Brad then continues what he was going to say. “Anyways, untapped DnB energy can be sensed by other DnB users regardless of distance or location if they actively look for it, which means whoever sent that distress call has pushed the button. It also means they checked the Surface Realm for untapped DnB energy and found you before getting into trouble.”
“How didn’t you find me first, then?” you ask.
“We don’t scan the Surface Realm regularly, so whoever did must’ve really been desperate for help,” Brad answers.
“So, our mission is to find them and rescue them?” you ask.
“You got it, Matey!” Brad answers.
Ash interjects. “Except it’s on the complete other side of The Hood,” he says. “I’m sure Emma explained that you can’t hop a rocket from one side of The Hood to the other, so we gotta go by car because, as everybody knows, there are no planes in Sustairsus. The distress call even mentioned being underground.”
You become distressed. “Oh come on! You got me thinking we could actually get this done before supper! Now I feel like this is gonna be an eternal journey or something!”
Brad shows signs of pain. “Please don’t…”
“What?” you say.
“Please refrain from saying the E-J-combo in front of Brad,” Ash says. “He doesn’t like it very much.”
“What, eternal journey?” you ask.
Brad winces. “Stop!”
You get an idea. “Wait, so if I say ‘eternal,’ it’s fine. If I say ‘journey,’ it’s fine. But not ‘eternal journey?’” you say, toying with Brad.
“SHUT UP!” he yells at you.
“That’s a stupid thing to be afraid of, how are you even afraid of the words ‘eternal journey?’”
Brad begins to claw at his hair. “SOMETIMES IT’S BEST TO NOT ASK QUESTIONS! LEAVE ME ALONE!”
Emma approaches you. “I’d chill out if I were you! If you lose a DnB fight, you’ll be weakened and the attacker can attack you outside of the plane! This can lead to serious injury or even death!”
“Nahh,” you say, “this baby needs to get over his fear of the words ‘eternal journey!’”
Brad sprints towards you. “STAND BACK EVERYONE! I’M ABOUT TO COMMIT SECOND DEGREE MURDER!”
You repeat the words “eternal journey” over and over again with a smug expression on your face as Brad charges towards you.
You sense you are being attacked and go into a DnB fight against Brad.
The first thing you notice is that the bottom of the plane is covered with water. Then you hear from above as the music starts, “Oh I like it when you break down low!” And with that, the brown representation of Brad descends onto the plane, wielding a cutlass. A pirate ship also ascends out of the water, only the front visible on the far left side of the plane.
Mines begin to float up to the surface of the water and detonate, flinging water into the air.
Then Brad adds onto the ongoing attack by slashing with his cutlass, leaving slash marks that move away from the sword similarly to Ash’s walls.
After this, Brad mounts the ship, and it takes him out of the plane. He and the ship reappear in the distance, and targets begin to appear all over the plane. Brad starts firing cannonballs from the ship at the targets. As well, vertical warning zones appear as lightning strikes those zones.
Brad then leaves the ship and returns to the main plane as the ship still fires its cannons in the background, and he throws his cutlass in an arc. He moves to the other side of the plane to catch the cutlass and then throws it again and repeats. All the while, the lightning still strikes.
After this, the lightning stops and Brad goes back to the ship in the distance, and this time, more vertical warnings appear as he fires the cannonballs into the water so that they cause splashes. At the end of this phase, the ship sails off as the battle comes to an end.
You win the fight and both you and Brad return to your usual states.
“So, we good here or what?” you ask Brad, feeling a little awkward.
Brad sighs. “You won, fair and square. I can’t hurt you this time. Consider yourself lucky, buddy. NO ENTITY has pushed me that far with the E-J-combo and lived to tell the tale!”
You shrug. “I mean hey! No harm no foul, right?”
“Sure, bub,” Brad answers. “But I SWEAR! If you do that again, I will force you to watch AI-generated brainrot until the day you die!”
“Oh yikes,” you respond to the threat. “I see the vision very clearly now.”
“Hey Ash,” Emma said, turning to face him. “I initially didn’t realize the grand scope of this mission. Do you think we should ask Tran to join us this time?”
Ash lit up with excitement. “Excellent idea, Emma!”
“Who…?” you start to ask.
“KingTran,” replies Ash, “Tran for short, President of Vietnam.”
“Wait, you’re friends with the President of Vietnam?!” you ask, flabbergasted.
Ash nods. “Yes, he was actually a Hood resident himself before. In fact, before that, he used to be one of [THEM].”
“What happened?” you ask.
Ash begins to drop more lore. “[THEY] caught Tran sending a bunch of characters from Touhou Project, a game series he likes, to The Hood, even though they did nothing wrong. So [THEY] sent Tran to The Hood, which was all part of his plan, because then he could interact with his favorite Touhou characters.”
“How is he the President of Vietnam if he’s in The Hood?” you ask.
Ash continues. “He sent a distress call, so we helped him out. We gave him a button and he pushed it. He then asked for more buttons, which makes me think he’s planning to bring Touhou onto the Surface Realm. But we aren’t authorized to just let anyone push the Button, so we just helped Tran get back to Vietnam, where he later became president.”
Emma takes over the speech. “After that, we opened up a hole in the barrier under Hanoi and established a quick transportation system between The Hood and the Presidential Palace. Then we re-sealed it with the same kinda gate we used to patch the hole Mimi-Chan made.”
“In fact, why are we standing here yapping?” Brad interjects. “We should be going there now! C’mon, ye scurvy scallywags! Let’s fly over to Vietnam!”
“I thought there were no planes in Sustairsus,” you say.
“That’s not what fly over means,” Brad responds.
“What does it mean then?” you ask.
“You’ll see,” Brad says. “Now let’s go everyone! Off to Lake Ionah!”
Ash decides that now is a good time for him to drop another essay. “Yes, let’s move out! I’d say our new recruit is capable of basic self-defense, so we should all be good to go out into The Hood.”
Then Ash turns to face you. “Also, I’m not gonna tell you to try to blend in or anything because we both know that never works in movies. So, just chat with us about whatever comes to your mind, it’ll seem normal to Hood residents. You might get strange looks or hear strange murmurs, but that’s fine. We got looks and murmurs our first day too, skip ahead a year, and we’re basically friends with everybody now.”
“Alright,” you say. “Let’s go then.”
You and the Hood Rangers step outside of the building and you see the world of Sustairsus for the first time. It looks unusually similar to the Surface Realm. Aside from the people.
“Wow,” you say, “With all the weirdos here I thought this place would look a little more… chaotic.”
“That’s why we stepped in once we found the hole,” Ash starts. “We wanted to help these guys build a somewhat working civilization, and I think we’ve done a pretty good job! After all, they are living beings too, and they deserve working lives even if they are separated from the Surface Realm.”
Emma speaks up. “While civilization somewhat works pretty well here, the residents themselves are still really strange compared to those of the Surface Realm, so if you don’t mind, let us do the talking.”
“And whaddya know,” says Brad. “Here comes something now! Doesn’t look familiar, wonder what it could be…”
The four of you are approached by a… skeleton.
“Greetings! My name is Sir Bones!” says the skeleton enthusiastically.
Sir Bones then begins spinning around, as if attached to a fan by a string. After a few seconds, he flies off and lands on the ground a few yards away from you.
“What was that all about?” you ask.
“No idea,” replies Emma.
“Sorry about that,” says Sir Bones as he picks himself up off the ground. “That’s my new way of greeting people, since they didn’t like my old way of doing so. I used to throw bombs at people to greet them, but they really didn’t like that for some reason.”
You scoff under your breath. “Yeah man, I wonder why.”
“So, Sir Bones, what brings you to us?” Ash asks. “Need help with something?”
Sir Bones looks down. “I’ve been quite lonely recently, as nobody here wants to talk to a spinning skeleton, and I just want to have a conversation with someone.”
“Well, what do you want to talk about?” asks Brad.
“You see, I was friends with this one girl,” says Sir Bones. “Maybe you know her, she has blue hair, a blue dress, and always carries around a large, purple umbrella.”
Ash strokes his chin. “Hmmm… sorry. Not ringing any bells. What’s her name?”
Sir Bones holds his skull in his phalanges. “Bro, you expect me to remember her name when I have no brain to remember things with?”
“How do you even remember your own name then?” you ask Sir Bones.
“Stop giving me an exiskeletal crisis!” Sir Bones yells. “I’m trying to tell you my sob story!”
“Sorry, please continue,” you say as you take a step back.
Sir Bones does indeed continue. “Anyways, one day, I woke up and she was gone. Couldn’t find her anywhere. I was soooooooo upset, I blew up my house by accident. Now I wander Sustairsus alone, hoping that by pure chance, I’ll find her again. I was so sad, I would’ve cried a river if I had eyes to cry with!”
“Is that all?” asks Emma.
“NO!” yells Sir Bones. “I asked some people what they thought had happened to her, and I heard from a Flower Dancer that there’s a new villain rising to power. So, she was likely kidnapped by this new villain for some reason. But I haven’t been the same skeleton without her! Every night I think about her, and I dream about her coming back, and I’d welcome her with a biiiiiiiiig hug…”
You decide to interject. “Guess you could say this skelly is down BAD TO THE BONE!”
Nice one, you got me chuckling a little over here.
“Narrator, let me have my moment,” you say, slightly annoyed. “It was hilarious until you butted in.”
“Stop stop stop!” Ash yells in your direction. “Both of you are getting distracted, you’re making unnecessary comments!”
Dang, my bad brotato chip.
“Yeah, can’t you see this skeleton is dealing with the loss of a loved one?!” Brad adds. Then he addresses Sir Bones again. “Pardon us, Sir Bones, they’re new here. Do you think you could give us any information about this new villain before we part ways?”
Sir Bones spills his nonexistent guts. “Well, all that Flower Dancer told me was that he’s a human and that he has two accomplices. One is an electrical device of some sort, and the other is a monster that uses fire to kill its victims. Also, he resides waaaaaaay on the other side of Sustairsus in an underground fortress.”
“Ladies and gentlemen, I think we’ve found our culprit!” Ash cheers.
“It’s an odd chance, but maybe the girl Sir Bones is talking about is the one who sent that distress signal, too!” Emma adds.
“You mean, we’re after the same person?” Sir Bones asks.
“I mean, maybe,” you suggest, trying to make him feel better after your joke. “You never know, y’know?”
“‘Maybe’ is enough for me!” Sir Bones says happily. “Consider me an ally from here on out, humans! I’d be more than happy to follow you to the point of death, if necessary!”
“Thanks for the offer, but there’s only room for five in my car, and that fifth seat is reserved for a friend,” says Ash. “We’re going to pick him up right now, actually!”
“Plus, we don’t want you dying,” Brad says. “Imagine how sad your lady friend would be when we rescue her and she finds out you’re dead.”
“True. I guess I can’t assist you on your quest, maybe next time,” Sir Bones says, a little disappointed. “Well, I best be going. To where? Nobody knows, not even I. But if you get in trouble, just holler my name, and I’ll be there quick as a flash, even though I have no ears to hear with.”
“Well, I guess this is goodbye, Sir Bones,” says Ash.
“Until we meet again!” says Brad.
“Stay safe!” Emma calls out.
“Bye, I guess,” you say, wanting to follow the pattern.
After Sir Bones leaves, the four of you continue your walk to Lake Ionah. It is an uneventful walk, nobody speaks up and nobody crosses your path. Uneventful, that is, until you arrive.
“Alright, we’re here!” Ash says, motioning towards the body of water.
“Welcome to Lake Ionah!” says Brad.
“We named it Lake Ionah since Hanoi is on the other side,” Emma says. “Ionah is Hanoi backwards, clever, right?”
“Sure,” you say to be polite. “Now how are we getting to Vietnam from here?”
“By way of fly over, of course!” Brad answers.
“You still never told me what that is,” to say.
“Whoopsie daisy! My bad!” Brad says in a goofy manner. He then quickly resumes his typical serious expression. “A fly over is a type of waterslide that is completely underwater. It pushes you through it due to the water pressure in Lake Ionah being greater than the water pressure in the receiving pool in the Presidential Palace. There is a separate fly over with different water pressures to get back to The Hood.”
Emma quickly interjects. “And before you ask, yes, you die if you go through either of them without pushing the button.”
“No, I was actually gonna ask how you survive if the whole thing is underwater,” you ask.
“Oh, it goes really fast,” Ash answers you. “I’ll go first so I can receive on the other end.”
Ash points at a specific location through the water to point out the fly over, jumps into the lake at that location, and gets sucked down by the fly over.
You watch in slight horror. “Why is every form of transportation here completely and utterly terrifying?”
Brad suppresses a laugh. “Deep breath.”
“What?” you ask.
As you take your deep breath, Brad pushes you into the lake. You miss the fly over, though.
You pop your head out of the water, mad as fire. “NOT COOL MAN!”
Brad shakes his head. “I was hoping you’d just get it over with. Swim there when you’re ready.”
Brad points to where the fly over is, and you muster up all your courage and dive at that location. The fly over sucks you down at what feels like the speed of sound. You go unconscious.
…
You wake up in a pool of water in the Presidential Palace in Vietnam. Ash helps you out of the pool.
“That felt weird too,” you say, “Cross-gate transportation is wacky.”
“Hey! You did good!” Ash congratulates you. “I thought Emma was gonna go next again, but you clearly must be comfortable with cross-gate transportation.”
“That’s not what happened at all,” you say. “Brad pushed me!”
“Oh,” Ash replies flatly.
Emma floats up out of the fly over and wakes up upon breaking the surface of the water. She does the peace sign with her hands.
“Wasgud my dudes?!” she greets you two.
Ash hits the thinker pose. “Last I checked, it’s good to say please, thank you, and you’re welcome. So that’s what’s good, Emma.”
Emma chuckles. “He thinks he’s clever lol.”
“I feel like I just ate something I found in the high school bathroom, man,” you say as you continue to adjust.
“Imma go get towels again, bai,” Ash says as he leaves the room. As he does, Brad ascends out of the fly over and joins you and Emma.
“See, Matey?” he says as he breaks the surface. “It wasn’t so bad!”
“Bro, if I didn’t hold that deep breath like you told me to, I would’ve hit you with like fifty E-J-combos before calming down!” you say as Brad gets out of the water.
“Good thing you didn’t,” Brad responds. “I could’ve easily drowned you in that lake.”
Ash returns to the rest of the crew. “I’m back with TOWELS! Welcome to Vietnam everyone!”
“So, we’re back on the Surface Realm?” you ask.
“Yup! Told you we’d be back before supper,” Brad answers. “Just didn’t say how many times we’d be in and out.”
“Man, shut yo ‘you didn’t read the fine print’ ahh up, Brad!” you yell.
“Everyone relax,” Ash says. “We must appear presentable in front of the President of Vietnam!”
“Oh, right,” you say.
Ash directs everyone through a maze of rooms and halls, it is a quiet walk as nobody wants to make a disturbance, until they arrive in the president’s quarters.
“Alright everyone, we’re here!” Ash says.
You look around, you don’t see the president, but you decide not to question the tower of plushies in one corner of the room.
“Where’s Tran?” you ask.
“IDK lol,” Emma responds.
“Hey Tran, my man!” Brad shouts. “Come on out! We have a guest we’d like you to meet!”
Brad’s voice echoes through the halls, but he receives no sort of response.
“Hmmm, wonder where he could be?” Ash asks himself.
“Please don’t tell me we have to search the entire palace until we find Tran now,” you say.
“Don’t worry, I know something that always gets his attention,” Ash says. Then he screams at the top of his lungs. “HEY TRAN! GET IN HERE, WE’RE LISTENING TO ROLLING CONTACT!”
Tran spontaneously appears in front of the four of you. He has black hair and a black and white suit, you kinda think he looks like a vampire, but Asian.
“VVho summoned me?!” Tran shouts.
You are startled by his appearing. “What the--?!” Then you realize. “Wait, why did he spell ‘who’ like that?”
“My double-u key vvas STOLEN back vvhen I vvas in The Hood,” Tran says.
“We still don’t know who did it,” Ash tells Tran. “And we still haven’t gotten it back, sorry.”
Emma thinks to herself, then she speaks up. “I think it was the same new villain Sir Bones was talking about, but that’s just a theory.”
“Anyhovv, vvhy are you here?” Tran asks you all. “VVhat do you vvant?”
“You see, we received a distress call from the other side of Sustairsus, and whoever sent it requested that our new friend here be brought in to help,” Emma answers.
“Yeah, vvho is this guy?” Tran asks.
“Whoever sent the distress call not only pushed the button, but also must’ve been so desperate, that they checked the Surface Realm for untapped DnB energy, and found this person,” Brad says.
“They’re underground too, must be in deep trouble,” Ash adds.
“This will be an across-The-Hood journey, a big mission, so we wanted to have some extra backup,” Emma says.
Tran thinks to himself. “Hmmm, so that’s vvhy you need my help?”
“Precisely!” Ash answers. “The new recruit even beat Brad and I in DnB fights already! Whoever sent that call wasn’t kidding, they’re good!”
“Alright, consider it done,” Tran says. “I’ll join you, but I got tvvo conditions, one for the plug, one for the load! First, I get to vvatch my Touhou doujins in the backseat. Second, the nevv guy has to beat me in a DnB fight.”
“I think we’re cool with that,” Ash says. Then he turns to you. “You ready to fight Tran?”
“I mean, do I have to?” you ask. “I just fought someone like half an hour ago over two words.”
“Do you vvant the extra help or not, buddy?” Tran asks.
You groan. “Fine. Come at me, Tran.”
You sense you are being attacked and go into a DnB fight against Tran.
Upon entering the plane, you see the purple representation of Tran. The first thing he does is partially close a vignette around you, limiting your vision. Then the music starts.
Swarms of bats fly into the plane from all directions, moving in a serpentine motion as Tran himself moves around, meaning you have to dodge both him and the bats. It’s simple in concept, but with limited vision, it becomes a bit more disorienting.
After doing this for a while, Tran calls off the bats, but continues to move around. He begins to sing, but the voice isn’t his and you can’t tell what it’s saying. As Tran sings, musical notes pop into the plane near him and slowly float outside of the plane.
Tran moves to the center of the plane, still singing, and you see a thin horizontal warning zone appear on top of him. You get out of the way as Tran grabs two long needle-looking things and begins to rotate them around himself, forcing you to move around him as he attacks with his music notes.
Then he stops singing and his needles and the vignette disappear. He spawns in two clones of himself, and all three of them zoom outside of the plane. Many warning lines appear, and the Trans zoom right through them at top speed. Then the real Tran stops in the center of the plane to spray some pellets as the two clones reside on the bottom corners with stage lights that they move and flash to the music. They repeat this attack pattern three more times.
Finally, Tran repeats his first attack with the bats as he moves around, while he does this, his clones continue the stage light attack. Then Tran’s clones vanish.
You win the fight and both you and Tran return to your usual states.
“Woohoo!” Ash cheers. “Tran is joining us, yeah!”
You take some deep breaths. “Whew, I’m tired after that one. No more limited vision please.”
“Alright nevv friend, you vvon,” Tran says to you. “Novv let me leave a note for my advisors to explain vvhy I’m gone and choose which Touhou doujins I vvant to vvatch.”
Tran retreats to a corner of his quarters and returns shortly later with his headphones.
“Alright, I’m back,” he says. “I found this doujin about Koosh vvith a funny looking artstyle. It’s called ‘Koishi Komeiji’s Heart Throbbing Adventure,’ and it’s pretty long, so it’ll probably last the vvhole mission. Novv, to the fly over!”
Tran and Ash direct you all back through the Palace to a different pool room where the other fly over is located.
“Tran, you wanna go first?” Ash asks the president.
“VVhy not?!” Tran responds, and gracefully dives into the pool and gets sucked down the fly over.
Brad turns to you. “Would you like to go next?”
“Deep breath,” you say.
“What?” Brad responds.
You push Brad into the water and get your revenge! He misses the fly over too.
“Nice one! I guess I deserved that,” he says as he prepares to dive. “See ya on the other side, boiz!”
Brad dives and the fly over sucks him down.
“I guess I should go next?” you say and ask at the same time.
“Yeah! Go before me this time,” Ash assures you.
“And this one spits me out in Lake Ionah too, right?” you ask.
“Yes, in a little sectioned off area,” Ash answers.
“Alright, see you there,” you say.
You take a deep breath, jump into the pool, and the fly over sucks you down, it feels even faster than last time. You lose consciousness.
…