Work Text:
After dinner with her partners, Mizuki returned to her "atelier" (it used to be her room, but it lost that title when everyone started sleeping in a large bed in a separate room every day) to continue working on what she was doing.
Now, she stood staring at the mirror, trying on her work-in-progress piece to test the fit. What she saw reflected wasn't pleasing to her eyes. The piece itself was perfect, the stitching well done, and the quality fabric and beautiful drape of her favorite color were flawless. The dress was strapless, which accentuated a feature Mizuki hated—her broad shoulders—and low-waisted, which didn't flatter her waist. Mizuki looked like a rectangle, she would say.
She changed clothes again, deciding it would be better to finish the dress later. She was starting to feel like this again. So she'll simply do what she always does to avoid making things worse: seek attention from her partners!
First, she went to the music room shared by Kanade and Mafuyu, and, as expected, Kanade was there. She seemed very focused on a specific part of the song, and Mizuki knew that if she dared to distract her girlfriend and she lost the rhythm, she would blame herself forever. So she made her way to the next stop; Mafuyu.
Since he wasn't in the room with Kanade, there were two other options; niigo's shared room or the living room. She first went to check the living room, and there he was, sitting in the corner of the sofa with the lamp on, reading a book while their cat, Lala, was on his lap. Mizuki sat down next to him, but even then he didn't take his eyes off the book.
"Mafufu, what are you reading? It must be a really good story, more interesting than your beautiful girlfriend sitting next to you~"
"I'm rereading the material for the test I'm taking tomorrow morning. I've studied a lot, but I don't think the subject has fully sunk in yet."
"Eeeh—tomorrow is Saturday! What kind of college forces you to wake up early on a Saturday for class???"
"Mine does."
"Hmm... good luck with your studies then~" She stood up, giving her boyfriend a forehead kiss and heading towards her last stop—and hope—Ena!
"Enanan~" Upon opening the door, she found Ena working on a art (which Mizuki hadn't seen yet, so it wasn't for niigo. Probably a commission)
"Mizuki, not now. I need to finish this as quickly as possible; the deadline is tomorrow afternoon, and there's still a lot to do." She said without even taking her eyes off the tablet.
"Ena, a break won't hurt! You know it's not good to spend so much time working and—"
"Don't worry, I haven't been working for very long and I won't be up all night. Actually, I'm really glad of this one, so I'm not stressed." She finally looked away to analyze Mizuki's expression when she finished speaking, and noticed a hint of sadness on her face, disguised so as not to disappoint Ena. She wanted attention, then.
"Sorry, darling. I'll make it up to you with lots of cuddles tomorrow, I promise." She said in a sweet tone, lightly running her hand through her girlfriend's before returning to her art.
Mizuki went back to her atelier (room) and thought about going back to work on her dress because of her failed mission, but she didn't have the energy for it. She lay down on her bed. Why did she feel this way? It's completely normal her partners were busy and she wasn't getting any attention. So why does she feel so bad today?
She curls up in bed and covers herself with the blanket. She doesn't want to get up anymore. Her body is heavy; she doesn't want to have to pass by the bedroom mirror. Mizuki doesn't want to see herself. The image of her in the mirror trying on her dress keeps flashing through her mind.
Mizuki notices that the sheet she was clinging to is wet, and only then does she realize she's started crying. She feels her body—oh, how she wishes she DIDN'T feel her body right now—soften with exhaustion, and her eyelids grow heavy. Ena, Kanade, and Mafuyu won't be upset if she doesn't join them in bed tonight, right?
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
"Mizu isn't coming?" Kanade asks Mafuyu as she snuggles closer into Ena's arms.
"I just went looking for her, she fell asleep in the studio. I think she was too tired from working," he said, joining his girlfriends on the bed.
Ena seemed apprehensive. "She came looking for attention today, but I was too busy."
"Do you think she's upset?" Kanade looks worried.
"Waking her up to discuss this now will only make things worse for her and won't do any good. She worked hard today, it's better to let her rest."
Ena and Kanade nod in agreement. They all exchange goodnights and cuddle until they fall into a deep sleep.
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
"Mizu? Can I come in?" Mizuki could hear her beloved girlfriend's voice through her sleep, along with knocks on the door. 'Wait, is Kanade already awake? What time is it?'
The younger girl murmured a sleepy "yes," rubbing her eyes to shake off the sleepiness. She saw her girlfriend walking towards her bed.
"Aren't you going to eat, darling? Mafuyu left lunch prepared before leaving. Ena and I already ate, we thought it best not to wake you." Wow, then it was really late.
"Sorry sorry~ I'm not hungry right now." She used her cheerful tone as best she could.
"I see... try to eat something at least before Mafuyu gets home." Kanade spoke in her usual soft and affectionate tone, holding her girlfriend's hand. "Do you need anything?"
Mizuki seemed to reflect before answering. "I feel dirty," her cheerful, teasing tone faltered, "but I don't wanna look at..." She couldn't look her girlfriend in the eye to say it.
Kanade's eyes filled with understanding as she sat on her girlfriend's bed to stroke her long hair. "I understand. Do you want to take a relaxing bath, dear? I'll help you. You don't have to look."
Mizuki seemed apprehensive at first, but it was Kanade, the kindest person she knew. Her beloved girlfriend who wouldn't judge her for anything in the world. One of the three people she'd learned not to run away from, but to appreciate their kindness, so she nodded.
After preparing the bath at the perfect temperature Mizuki likes—a little too hot for Kanade, but fine by Mizuki—Kanade began to undress and help her girlfriend as well.
"Don't stare too much, please," Mizuki said as Kanade pulled up her fluffy pajamas. "I won't."
They both got into the bathtub, Kanade sitting behind her girlfriend. She was right; Mizuki felt her body relax when she came into contact with the hot water.
"I'm exhausted, Kana..." her voice was completely different from normal; it was serene, lacking her usual enthusiastic tone, and tired.
"You spent a lot of time working..." Kanade said in her usual affectionate tone.
"That's not what I'm exhausted from..." She sighed. "Living in this body is tiring. I thought I'd learned to deal with it over time, but... it's still difficult."
Kanade didn't quite know how to comfort her girlfriend on this kind of subject. As a cisgender person, she can't imagine the feelings Mizuki and Mafuyu describe, but it hurts to see someone so loved suffer over something she has no control over.
So all she could do was gently caress and wash Mizuki, whispering sweet words. After that, they dried off, got dressed, and Kanade took her girlfriend to join Mafuyu, who had already arrived home on the sofa, since Kanade needed to start working on her compositions. She hoped Mafuyu could get her girlfriend to eat something.
"Mizuki, you didn't show up for breakfast today. Is everything alright? Did you eat anything?" Mafuyu said, pulling his girlfriend into a tight hug. He couldn't help but notice the sour expression on her face when he mentioned food.
"I haven't eaten yet today, sorry." Mizuki always had a habit of eating very little—usually, "little" for her actually means nothing—when dysphoria strikes. It's a habit she picked up in elementary school because she thought it would make her thinner, and thinness, at least, was a "characteristic of a female body." Nowadays, she knows how unhealthy it is, but she can't quite break the habit completely.
"It's okay." He kissed her forehead. "Do you think you could eat if I heated up your lunch?" Mizuki nodded, and he went to the kitchen to prepare the food.
Just as Mizuki began to lament the loss of warmth from her boyfriend having to wait on the sofa, the front door opened and she heard a sweet voice. "I'm home!" Ena said, taking off her shoes and going towards her girlfriend.
"Mizu, how are you? I Can spend the rest of the day with you today" She said, caressing the younger girl's cheek with one hand and giving her a quick, soft kiss on the lips.
Mizuki pulled her into a real, passionate kiss before pulling away again. "I missed you." They stay embraced until Mafuyu arrives with Mizuki's lunch, where they put on a magical girl anime that the younger girl is a fan of, to help distract her and allow her to eat properly. At a certain point, Kanade finishes her work and joins them on the sofa. Now they are all embracing, cuddling Mizuki and watching her favorite anime because of her.
It's okay to have bad days. Everything would be alright as long as she has these incredible people by her side. Her adorable partners, who take care of her out of pure love, without receiving anything in return. The thought brings tears, for the first time that day, of happiness to the corners of Mizuki's eyes.
Everything will be alright.