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Measured steps. Measured steps in a continuous manner that echoed in the hallways.
You would only notice how precise each step was if you knew to look for it.
Wing knew, of course. He’d known GravCoil since the other was a newspawn. He was eager to learn, eager to discover.
All the discoveries weren’t harmless. That, Wing knew too. He’d since long began to faze the doctor out whenever he began to ramble of his experiments. Wing wasn’t particularly interested in them. He was put off by them, actually. Not everything GravCoil did was what he would call “morally correct”.
Wing deliberately danced around the subject. Avoided the halls where GravCoil would attempt to show him something that the other considered interesting, or extremely important to the lab.
But lately? The messenger had found it harder and harder to avoid the subject.
Which one, specifically?
B-01.
GravCoil’s biggest project yet. In his eyes anyways.
Wing hated it. It made his skin crawl. He’d seen B-01 very few times, but those moments where he had? He had felt sick. That poor, poor-
”The results are just .. outstanding!” GravCoil’s voice snapped him out of his staring.
“Yeah?” He straightened his back as he tried to slip back into paying attention. Not that he wanted to, but he must appear professional, at least a bit. GravCoil was the one he could relax somewhat with. But not entirely, of course. GravCoil was a proud and well respected inphernal. Loyal to the administration - Wing was, as well, but he didn’t make the administration appear just as much as gods. It was like whatever the administration said was holy to so many inphernals. Like they had gotten the words themselves from whatever was beyond the spawn.
”Yes! It’s, ugh it’s fantastic, Wing, in fact, there’s an experiment scheduled in just an hour! You must come and watch-“
”Woah, woah, slow down, Gravs, as much as I’d love to come and watch-“ Wing attempted to put the idea to rest, after all it was ridiculous. He was a messenger! He wasn’t educated on this. He didn’t want to know more about the subject. And the things GravCoil did? They disturbed him.
“Don’t try to argue, Wing. You told me you were free this afternoon.” GravCoil stuck his nose up, lifting a brow as he glanced skeptically at Wing.
Wing was nearly startled, he knew GravCoil could be rather ..aggressive once he had a certain goal in mind, but he’d thankfully avoided it for anything regarding the other’s work. Until now, anyway. ”Well, yes, but only because I need to restore energy for my gear and-“
The doctor waved his hand dismissively. ”You can take a long, well earned nap after it. I can lend you a hammock.” He promised, settling for giving the tall inphernal a pat on the shoulder. “Come on, I have some reports to work on before we have to get ready.”
Wing stared incredulously at him, “get ready? Aren’t we going to the .. viewing chamber, or whatever it’s called? What do we need to get ready for?” He felt how tense he was, trying desperately to keep himself calm.
”oh, why we must clean our hands with these bacteria to hold the acid vials so we can pour them into the subjects eyes.”
”WHAT?”
”I’m messing with you.” GravCoil sighed, pulling his clipboard closer to himself, as if guarding whatever he had written down from Wing’s stupidity.
Wing scoffed, dramatically pulling the back of his hand to his forehead.
”I’am so very deeply offended.” He announced, an arm draping itself over GravCoil’s shoulders. He pressed himself closer before lightly shaking GravCoil. The doctor let out a disgruntled sound, giving him a playful swat.
”You’re an idiot.” He chided though his voice held no true hostility. “Let’s go, you fool. I need a couple papers.”
Wing grinned, “fool.” He mumbled under his breath before following along with no further complaint. It wouldn’t amount to much anyway, and truth be told - he wanted to be with his friend.
He regretted everything.
The moment he entered the room a sense of dread washed over him. It was sickening. He’d since long had enough of the sterile halls that smelled .. thick, like the air itself was trying to choke him. But .. this? This was so much worse. There was a window of sorts, overlooking what seemed to be an operating table. It didn’t look nearly as clean as the halls just outside. Like they hadn’t bothered to keep it clean. Like whatever poor inphernal that had to lay on that could get dirty with no major issue.
He couldn’t help his grimace as he leaned closer to GravCoil, voice lowering into a whisper, ”..Remind me why you brought me here again?”
He felt GravCoil’s gaze shift from the table, and Wing gritted his teeth as he realized that the doctor, his friend, had had near the exact opposite reaction to the oddly stained operating table. He had bore an expression of delight, one alike the one of a newspawn inspecting their gear for the first time.
”Well-“ he began, “it’s nice to have company, don’t you think?” GravCoil’s smile was unnerving. It was unlike the one Wing was used to. The warm one. This one seemed perfectly measured to make anyone uncomfortable. Like their clothes, or maybe their eyes or even their skin was incorrect somehow. It bore into him. Crawled beneath his skin in a way that he would’ve expected of the higher ups, not GravCoil.
”Of course.” He replied quickly, patting his friend’s shoulder, looking to the room below again. He didn’t want to meet his friend’s gaze at the moment. Which was odd. He usually appreciated it.
An inphernal was brought in. They weren’t fighting it. Not at all, actually. They held one of the scientist’s by the hand, eyes unfocused. Maybe it didn’t hurt. Maybe it wasn’t so bad. Their horns were yellow cones that stuck from about the top of their head.
”..I remember seeing another inphernal with similar horns around here, is that-“ Wing began to ask but was cut off with an answer before he finished his question.
”We shave and shape the horns of all subjects to something akin to that.” GravCoil gestured loosely to the inphernal below as they climbed up on the table. He spoke as if it bored him. But also like he was excited. Like he was anticipating something to happen.
The table seemed far too high for them, they were 12 at absolute most, the messenger figured. A newspawn. It made the uncomfortable, sinking feeling of guilt - for not being able to do something - and disgust - because he wasn’t even trying to do something - curl tighter inside him. He leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms and averting his gaze. The lights in the room blared in an eye catching way, but he didn’t want to look. He wanted to go home. Deities, he needed to go home. He needed rest.
He tried shifting the conversation, despite the expectant look of his friend.
”You mentioned you shave the horns? Is there-“
“We don’t want them to ram into us too harshly, do we? We occasionally use horn-bumpers as well.” GravCoil waved his hand, attempting to dismiss him. Wing noticed how the doctor’s foot had begun to tap impatiently. His friend was a patient inphernal, had been for as long as he’d known him. It made him uncomfortable that the other seemed impatient.
Wing opened his mouth to speak again, but the words died in his throat as he saw the first thrash of the inphernal on the table. The room felt like it was tilting. He was locked in place, staring at them as they thrashed. Before they went deathly still.
He found his voice again. “Are they-?” He croaked out, each syllable feeling heavy on his tongue.
”of course not, don’t be silly.” GravCoil chuckled, giving him a light swat. A playful one. “They’re just asleep.” He said proudly.
Wing glanced at him. How was the other being lighthearted regarding this? Wing, personally, felt nauseous. Every beat of his heart felt louder than ever. Would he be able to stay upright for much longer? It felt as if though there was a weight on his head, trying desperately to get him to topple over. But he remained standing. Of course he did. It was important that he did, otherwise GravCoil might be worried. He hoped that those scars on the newspawn’s arms were from something else, but when the sharp blade first pressed to draw blood, he knew his hopes had been crushed.
The minutes ticked by agonizingly slowly, occasionally GravCoil wrote something down, made comments under his breath or directly spoke to Wing. The messenger barely listened, his eyes laser focused on the newspawn.
In through the nose, out through the nose. Keep your breathing steady.
He had to go.
”I’ve overstayed my welcome.” He said politely, mustering up all the strength he had to not gag, “In all honesty, I should’ve left at least 30 minutes ago.”
That did catch the doctor’s attention. He seemed disappointed that Wing didn’t want to stay and watch the torture he conducted.
”What? Are you certain?” He asked, a pout crossing his face for just a brief moment before he schooled it back to nonchalance. “I thought you said-“
”Certain.” The messenger confirmed, patting GravCoil’s shoulder. “I’ll see you soon enough.” He continued, smirking down at his friend and casting a final glance to the young inphernal. His gut wrenched as he saw a blade press into their skin, drawing blood, again. He almost made a strangled sound, but forced it down. It was important to not react.
”Until next time.” The messenger smiled, barely listening as his friend repeated it back to him along with some sort of ‘take care’.
He stalked down the hallways soon after the door behind him slid shut. Everything was spinning. His feet clicked against the floor. Too loudly. Way too loudly. Why was everything so quiet? It had always been that way just about anywhere in Blackrock. Perfect order. He’d gotten too used to the rest of the inpherno. He missed the indistinct chatter of other inphernals. The happy chatter. The laughter, the jokes. Even the mild violence was better than these clipped.. emotionless conversations. He could barely count the amount of times other inphernals had given him strange looks when he acted just a bit less formally. But by the gods, they had looked in disbelief but also delighted, in a way. It seemed like their days had been made better, and that was what he strived for. He wished more inphernals smiled. He did. It wasn’t unnoticed by himself how his steps began to speed up. He couldn’t meet anyone’s calculating gaze right now. He didn’t want to be studied under a microscope like so many others in this forsaken lab. Once he got to GravCoil’s office, he gathered his things - coat, gloves, scarf, bag - and continued walking. The scarf slipped on just before he pulled the thick coat tightly around himself, securing the snowlocks and pulling the hood up. After adjusting the scarf around his face tighter and nearly tripping in the process, he finally stopped.
He was outside.
It was cold.
The winds tugged at his clothes and nipped at the uncovered parts of his face. With the thick gloves he wore, he pulled his collar and scarf up tighter. He let himself take a moment to breathe, in through the nose, out through the mouth, as to not bring too much cold air in to his lungs too fast. It was a thing he’d learned back when he was a newspawn. Try to control your breathing. Out and in through the nose, as much as possible. The cold wasn’t forgiving. Not in any way. The memories of the first frozen animal he’d found still haunted him. The midnight crow had laid stuck in place, as if someone had stopped time. Despite it being night, its eyes had remained almost black. Not red, like any other midnight crow’s eyes would’ve turned at night. It had been a horrible sight, to him. He’d sobbed. He remembered it. Hadn’t been careful with his breathing. He’d gotten sick, and his fingers had turned blue. In a moment’s weakness, the gloves he wore out in the cold, had been pulled off, to run over the poor bird’s feathers. He remembered digging in the snow, allowing it a grave in the very thing that killed it. A prayer, or a maybe just pleading had left him that night. He wished for the crow to return to the spawn, and in some way rest easily. He had stayed there, by the frozen corvid’s body for too long. His tears had frozen on his cheeks, and he remembered how it hurt. Remembered how Fier had lectured him once he came back. How the other had used their gear, holding his hands. A part of him envied Fier’s gear, but a bigger part truly admired him. He had been so lucky to ever have known Fier.
What was he doing? Thinking about Fier? Did anyone else .. yes. They did remember the inphernal, but not as Wing did. They saw him as filthy. And-
No.
With a shuddering breath through the mouth, he let his wings extend out, dark grey feathers ruffling as he gave them a flutter.
Dizziness spread over him. He’d exerted himself. But he could make it back. He had to.
He gave the sky a long, almost sad look. The stars stared back. But they didn’t give him any answers.
He crouched, snow crunching beneath his weight as the few red feathers in his wings glowed.
And then he took off, and he was free.
Free for as long as the winds guided him forward.
Free for as long as he remained up here.
Free for a little while longer.