Work Text:
My dear Jean,
We have managed to secure a position at the castle of Pfalzgrafenstein, right above the Rhine. But the water is the colour of blood and from time to time severed limbs rise to the surface, so we do not risk drinking from it. Our supplies are limited, thus we are awaiting reinforcements from the Prussian army, or rather what is left of it, along with them. I imagine they might be able to break through the living shield of the suffering dead. I choose to hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
The responsibility for the morale of the soldiers has fallen on my shoulders, as His Excellency the General has been bedridden with a terrible fever. He coughs incessantly and mumbles nonsense under his breath - he believes that he will soon die. If the General does not recover soon, our men might as well all drown in the Rhine, but I am convinced that no such thing will happen. His Eminence has been in condition akin to this before - it is by no means a novelty - and overcame it. 'Tis unacceptable to think that so honorable and high-hearted a person as he could fall victim to such a disease. May God be our judge.
Winter is merciless. We all huddle together for warmth, and as I gaze upon the helpless faces around me, I cannot help but think of you. When we first met, you had the same look: your eyes filled with grief, swollen from tears; your mustache unkempt like the feathers of a neglected hen, and your lips compressed into a tiny line. My men, just as you then, are exhausted. They need caress, a shoulder to lean on and a heart to rest their cheek against. Perhaps, mercy. Forgiveness.
If you were to be here, Jean, I am sure they would have had what they so desperately crave. But my love isn't tender nor affectionate. My lips are not soft, and my gaze is that of a hawk. It is what you told me. I accepted all the insults as truth. I am grateful to you for the kindness you gave me without expecting love in return. I kiss your hands, with which you touched my very being, and beg to feel it again someday.
Karl