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Lucanis waits, knowing Kal is at his side despite his failing sight. He might not be able to see much, but the pleasant itch in his eyes is all he needs to know his love is right there at his side. He’s lived a good life, and a long one. It’s time for his story to come to a close, no matter how much he knows it tears his Kal apart.
“Lucanis?” Spite’s sad. As he expected. Spite’s his own person with his own thoughts and feelings. It’s stings a bit, knowing they’ll have to part after so long sharing a body. A body that aches with every breath, that creaks and moans with the slightest of movements.
“What is it, Spite?” He tries gently. Lucanis is more than aware that the spirit is hurting. Almost anything would be worth not having to hurt the two men he loves like this, but time is a cruel mistress and Lucanis is her next victim.
Spite spays himself across Lucanis, making his skin buzz slightly. “Lucanis hurting.” It’s barely a mumble, and the quietest he’s ever heard him. “How help?”
A mirthless chuckle escapes his aching chest. “We all know the only cure, mi amor.” He sighs, stealing himself for their next steps. “Before we get that far, I believe there’s something else we have to take care of.” His darling Kal squeaks in pain. His poor, dear love. Their Kal doesn’t deserve to have to live on forever like this, but it soothes Lucanis’ heart that neither Kal, nor Spite will have to go through the centuries alone.
“Mi amor. I know it’s hard.” He finds Kal’s hand, squeezing it gently. He tries to smile, but he’s not sure Kal’s even paying attention right now. “You know I’ll always love you, right?” He gives a moment to gather Kal’s attention. “You should know you’re the only one I trust to do this.” Were Emmrich still with them, they probably would have gone to the Necromancer, but they don’t have that option so Lucanis will believe in his husband. Kal deserves every bit of his trust, but he does worry about his husbands emotional states.
Kal’s silent for a little too long, so he pulls Kal’s hand to his lips. “Please, love?”
He misses the first thing Kal mumbles due entirely to his failing hearing, but he knows his love will respond again. “Yeah, okay.” It’s cracked and painful, but Kal never fails at keeping a promise, no matter how much it hurts him. And he know Kal will be torn asunder here soon.
“Thank you.” He makes certain he’s smiling. This is his last day and Kal deserves to see him smiling. “I’d hate for you to be alone after all this.” Spite wraps around him, unwilling to let him go until the very end.
He feels Kal’s magic wash over him, slowly seeping into his very being. Spite holds on, desperate to stay with him. He can feel his connection to Spite break with each pluck of the strings holding them together. Each one pulls at his heart strings, but he knows this is for the best. He refuses to be the reason Spite vanishes into nothing, or worse. His husband’s never had to live in this world alone, he wouldn’t know how to cope.
Their connection weakens, so Lucanis takes his chance. “Goodbye, Spite. It’s been nice sharing our body all these years. Treat Kal right, will you?” He only just hears the whisper of his reply before he’s left alone in his head and body for the first time in decades. It’s unsettling, and cold, and brings reality into sharp focus.
Swallowing the wave of emotions in his chest, Lucanis keeps going. He has to, or they’ll only prolong all of their suffering. “Kal? Promise me something?”
“What is it?” Oh. His Kal is crying. He focuses on the dark blob that is his husband, reaching out and failing to wipe away the tears.
It’s selfish of him, but this is hardly the first time it’s come up. “Promise me you won’t close yourself off. That you’ll keep letting yourself love and feel like you have with me.” He knows he’s asking a lot of his husband, but he knows Spite will help where he can.
“…Yeah.” Kal’s nearly sobbing. “I promise.
“Good.” He reclaims his grip on Kal’s arm, pulling him close and placing that strong hand over his heart. “One more thing?” He knows his time is up, and he wants to go out on his terms.
“Anything.” Kal’s barely holding himself together.
Lucanis swallows, taking a moment to recall all the good times he had with this incarnate of chaos itself. “Let me be with you in this life and the next. Marry me?” He can taste Kal’s tears as he steals one final kiss. Kal’s electricity warms his chest, then dances around his heart. His last moments are with his love’s lips on his own.
And then he blinks, and finds himself floating above his body as Kal and Spite wail into the night. “Kal!” He cries, reaching for the man. Some unknown force forbids him from getting any closer than he is, and neither of them seem to be able to hear him.
What hell is this that he’s forced to watch the men he loved grieve for him while he’s stuck here, unable to interact with them? Is this the eternity he condemned himself to with his actions? For making Kal end his life? For hurting those he loves so much?
“Dad? Mom?” Fey asks, inching inside with his siblings as Kal’s sobs finally start to subside. Lucanis tries his hardest to get his son’s attention, but no matter how hard he tries, nothing works. Why has the Maker forsaken him like this? Trapped, unable to rest or even contact his family, this must be a punishment.
Lucanis screams until his metaphorical throat aches.
Lucanis watches numbly from his distance as Kal harvests his bones, lovingly choosing and shaping a few into a set of bone piercings much like he did for Esha those years ago. Idly, he wonders where Kals going to choose to memorialize Lucanis. His ears, beside their wedding bands? On his brow beside Esha’s?
He watches Spite wrap around Kal, distraught but coping much better than their husband. The elvhen man man looks horrible. Dark bags under his eyes grow bigger than even Lucanis’ at his worst. A literal dark cloud hangs over him, occasionally sparking out towards anything in reach. He’s barely eating, and only takes his medication because Spite takes control when he’s asleep and does it for him. That long white hair’s half a mess, again only hanging on due to Spite’s insistence.
Lucanis would give anything to be there with them, to be able to interact with his man once more, but the universe cares not for the pleas of one singular man who no longer even inhabits his own flesh, so his wish remains unanswered.
Kal takes the first of his lovingly prepared bones, and, using a small amount of lightning on his needle, proceeds to pierce his nipple. “Mi amor…” Lucanis mutters, knowing no one can hear him and cursing that fact. Kal’s crying again, blinking through the tears long enough to do the other side before he collapses into a heap on the floor.
Rook was one of the few things holding Kal together for the year or so Lucanis estimates passes after his death. It’s not quiet working, and Kal never really returns to who he was before, but it’s better than it was immediately after Lucanis’ death. Or, at least it was before Rook passes away peacefully in his sleep at in the dead of winter one year.
It devastates Kal more than Lucanis can bear, and watching his beloved perform his little ritual with his brother’s bones before adding a partner to the bone pierced through his brow isn’t even a drop of hope in a bucket of hurt.
Why is he still trapped here, destined to watch the man he loves suffer forever?
Fey and Ren die together with their spouses. A tragic accident, really, given that no one could have predicted the landslide that took the five of them on their way back to Treviso. Lucanis watched the whole thing. From their idle chatter in the fancy de Riva carriage, to the accident that took them, the state their bodies were found and returned home, and Kal’s ritual morning that chipped away that much more of the man Lucanis fell in love with.
Lucanis blinks, taking a metaphorical breath and finding himself looking through eyes not his own. Before him, a woman so bright and cheery that he’s reminded of the Kal he originally fell in love with. She smiles at him, dragging him along while Lucanis focuses on the fact that he’s watching through a woman’s body.
Who are they, and why is he seeing this? “Lucia? Something wrong?” His body doesn’t respond, too scared at the sight of soldier approaching in the distance. Lucanis watches as those soldiers descend, tearing apart the woman his body loved as she mutters something that makes his head spin. The vision turns black with a shooting pain through his chest.
What was that? Why did he suddenly feel the pain as though he had a real body? He doesn't know and he doesn’t want to dwell, so he returns to watching over Kal as he spirals faster and faster into a deep depression. Why doesn’t his love let Spite help? He might be able to feel the spirit, but Spite’s not manifested in so long.
Lucanis watches as Kal flops over Leon’s body with no more tears to shed or cries to wail into the night. Teo’s at his side, rubbing circles into their father’s back while murmuring something Lucanis is too far away to hear. He know’s it doesn’t help, but he appreciates Teo’s attempts.
After, Kal becomes more and more distant from both Teo and Oakley despite their attempts. Teo does a great job holding the crows together, and Oakley keeps running his house smoothly. It’s more than enough to make up for Kal’s struggles in keeping House de Riva afloat.
If he was being honest with himself, Lucanis would admit to being terrified of the path his Kal is walking. He never wanted the man to hurt so much or for so long. Was his request that he heal and move on too much? Was he too selfish in his final moments at Kal’s side?
Lucanis blinks, finding himself watching from someone else’s eyes once more. He can feel magic buzzing around him as a spirit wraps around him, warm and familiar. His companion may not fully understand love, but it’s chaotic nature draws it to him in a way nothing else could.
His companion nuzzles against him, teasing him. He calls a name he doesn’t recall a moment after it leaves his lips, but it pleases the spirit before him. It dances, pulling him up and filling him with affection. It projects everlasting togetherness into his mind, and he feels something click into place like it was only waiting for the slightest breeze to do so.
A chortle escapes at his companions actions. Every time he’s come out here has been even more soothing and peaceful than the last. He wouldn’t trade this for anything.
His companion shifts, pressing a playful kiss to his cheek before a deep, guttural rumble overtakes them. In less than a blink, he watches his companion be swallowed up by rock. “No!” His heart aches as the rock glows, then dims. Deep inside, he knows he’s just lost the spirit he’s fallen deep in love with.
Lucanis watches as Kal simply floats through life detached from reality. Is this even living? How many years has it been since Kal’s bothered to do anything for himself? Every night, Lucanis watches as Spite tends to their body, cleaning Kal up, keeping that splendid hair of theirs shiny and clean, and making sure Kal has eaten and taken his medicine.
It hurts more and more everyday, and yet Lucanis is growing more and more numb to it. This is no way for any of them to continue existing. And yet, they do. Why must he be cursed to walk this world just as alone as his husbands? The only difference is he can’t interact with anything.
The next time Lucanis gets one of his weird visions, he feels nothing but an overwhelming sense of loneliness as he stumbles through the streets, certain he’ll be alone forever despite the hundreds of people that can be heard nearby.
The day comes when Lucanis is doing his usual blank staring in the general direction of his one time husbands. It was truly no different than any other day, barring the sudden sharp tug he feels on the core of his very being. He doesn’t know what that means, but the very next thing he knows is nothingness. No sensations, no thoughts, only… only nothing.
He tries his best to figure it out, but every time he moves he feels as though his very being is being suppressed. Each time, it takes a little longer for him to claw his way back up to where he once was.
At some point, he finds himself looking through yet another pair of eyes as he chases Kal as he falls through the Necropolis. Magic flies through and around him, building a path beneath his very feet until they’ve caught their love safely in their arms.
Lucanis doesn’t know what comes over him, or the vision he’s sharing, when his own words finally reach Kal’s ears for the first time in an unknown number of years. "Hey now! I know you have the ability to save yourself. So why wouldn't you use that lightning of yours to bring yourself to safety?" He’s even more surprised than Kal.
That odd suppressing force claws him away from any semblance of control, but somehow Lucanis knows this won’t be the last time. There’s a seed of hope in his chest that spreads its roots as Lucanis looses consciousness for the next unknown amount of time.