Work Text:
Friday, September 26
Shane: Pips #12 Easy 🟢
0:16 🍪
Ilya: What
What is pips
Shane: It’s a new game
Like wordle
But numbers
Ilya: Fucking wordle
Did Hunter put you up to this too
Shane: Pips #12 Medium 🟡
0:59
Ilya: What the fuck
Why is there more
Shane: Try it
You might like it
Ilya: I told you I’m not doing your stupid wordle
That is why you have your wordle sluts
I am not one of them
Shane: Stop calling it that
Ilya: Did you change name
Are you not wordle sluts anymore
Shane: Pips #12 Hard 🔴
2:21
Ilya: I take that as yes
You are still wordle sluts
Shane: Shut up
Ilya: 🫵 slut
Saturday, September 27
Shane: Pips #13 Easy 🟢
0:28
Pips #13 Medium 🟡
0:26 🍪
Pips #13 Hard 🔴
1:46
Ilya: No
I told you
Go send this to your sluts
Shane: :(
Come onnnn
It’s fun
You might like it
Ilya: I will not
I am not boring
I have much more exciting things to do today
Shane: Like what
Ilya: You would like to know
Shane: Yeah
That’s why I asked
Wait
Did you mean
Wouldn’t you like to know
Ilya: 🖕
Sunday, September 28
Shane: Pips #14 Easy 🟢
0:13 🍪
Pips #14 Medium 🟡
0:32 🍪
Pips #13 Hard 🔴
3:19
Ilya: You are getting worse
Shane: I got two cookies!!!
How is that worse
Ilya: 3 minutes
Yesterday was under 2
Shame
I thought boring people were smart
Shane: You think you can do better
Let’s see it
Ilya: You will not trick me
I see right through you
I see why your mother named you
Shane: What
What does that even mean
Ilya: Rhymes with shame :)
Shane: I hate you
Ilya: 😘
Monday, September 29
Shane: Pips #14 Easy 🟢
0:25
Pips #14 Medium 🟡
0:50
Pips #14 Hard 🔴
3:57
Ilya: What no cookie today
I told you
Getting worse
Shane: You talk a big game for someone who won’t even try
Where’s that Russian spirit huh
Or are you scared you’ll lose like you did last week :)
Ilya: I did not lose
I scored most goals
More than you
Shane: Didn’t win the game
Therefore
🫵 loser
Ilya: Fuck you
Shane: You wish :)
Ilya: Ugh
I like you better when you lose
Shane: You’re such a dick
Ilya: Yes
And
Shane: And I don’t like you
Ilya: Liar
Shane: 😝
Ilya: See
Still a slut :)
Shane: I am NOT
Ilya: You are
Is ok
I like it 😉
Monday, October 6
Shane: Pips #22 Easy 🟢
0:17 🍪
Pips #22 Medium 🟡
0:30 🍪
Pips #22 Hard 🔴
2:22
Ilya: Pips #22 Easy 🟢
0:11 🍪
HA
Shane: Do my eyes deceive me
Or are you really playing a BORING game
Ilya: I beat you
I win
Game over
Shane: No way
You have medium and hard left
C’mon
Can’t give up now
Ilya: I’m not giving up
Shane: So send me your medium already
Or are you chicken
Ilya: I am not
Shane: 🐔🐔🐔
Ilya: My god
Even your trash talk is boring
Putting me to sleep
Zzzzzzzz
Shane: Excuses excuses
I am pips king
Ilya: The fuck you are
Pips #22 Medium 🟡
1:28
Pips #22 Hard 🔴
3:03
Fuck
Fuck this game
Shane: You need practice
Just like with hockey
Ilya: No
I don’t need practice with hockey
I know hockey
I am best at hockey
This is stupid game
For boring people
And sluts
Shane: Oh my god
You’re insufferable
I don’t know why I even bother
Ilya: Because you’re my slut :)
Shane: I hate you
Ilya: Send me picture
Right now
Shane: No
Ilya: Is it because you’re blushing
Because you know I am right
Shane: Shut up
Ilya: Slut :)
Saturday, October 11
Shane: Pips #27 Easy 🟢
0:22
Pips #27 Medium 🟡
4:10
Pips #27 Hard 🔴
0:52 🍪
Ilya: What the fuck
How did you take 4 minutes for medium
But 52 seconds for hard
What the fuck
Shane: I dunno
Just happened that way
Ilya: Ugh
Pips #27 Easy 🟢
0:26
Pips #27 Medium 🟡
1:32
Pips #27 Hard 🔴
2:19
UGH
Shane: Admit it
You’re having fun
Ilya: Am not
Shane: Are too
Someday I’ll get you to play wordle
Ilya: Will not
English is stupid
Terrible language
Makes no sense
Shane: Someday!!!
Ilya: NEVER
Tuesday, October 21
Shane: Pips #37 Easy 🟢
0:31
Pips #37 Medium 🟡
1:28
Pips #37 Hard 🔴
1:17
Ilya: Pips #37 Easy 🟢
0:13 🍪
Pips #37 Medium 🟡
4:43
Pips #37 Hard 🔴
3:35
Ha I got cookie and you did not
Shane: Yeah yeah
Talk to me when you get two cookies
Then you can gloat
Ilya: Or I gloat now
Because I have cookie
And you don’t
Shane: I got your cookie right here
Ilya: Of course you do
Shane: Don’t
Ilya: Slut :)
Shane: GODDAMMIT
Wednesday, October 29
Shane: Pips #45 Easy 🟢
0:13 🍪
Pips #45 Medium 🟡
0:40 🍪
Pips #45 Hard 🔴
1:07
Ilya: Pips #37 Easy 🟢
0:15 🍪
Pips #37 Medium 🟡
0:33 🍪
Pips #37 Hard 🔴
4:08
I hate >
And <
Worse than English
Shane: They get me too
The worst
Ilya: Don’t
You do that thing
I forget the word
But don’t pretend to make me feel better
I don’t like that
Shane: I’m not
Ilya: YOU ARE
Shane: IM LITERALLY NOT
YOURE PARANOID
I swear I never fucking read it right the first time
And then I get mad at that stupid popup at the end
It’s bullshit
I hate it almost as much as the connections lady
Ok?
Ilya: Ok
Who is connections lady
Shane: Don’t get me started
Monday, November 10
Shane: Pips #57 Easy 🟢
2:00
Pips #57 Medium 🟡
0:37 🍪
Pips #57 Hard 🔴
0:39 🍪
Fucking easy fuck off
Ilya: Pips #57 Easy 🟢
0:19 🍪
Was easy for me :)
Shane: Shut up
Ilya: Pips #57 Medium 🟡
0:29 🍪
Delicious cookie
Shane: 😡
Ilya: Pips #57 Hard 🔴
0:49 🍪
😎
Bow to your new pips king
Shane: I will not
But if you’re lucky I might reward you
Ilya: Oh?
Might?
I play your stupid game for weeks
I beat you to three cookies
And I get MIGHT?
Shane: Might :)
Depending on if you can abstain from being an asshole for longer than five minutes
I know that’s hard for you
Ilya: Oh you want to talk about hard do you
Shane: It is six in the morning
Ilya: Yes
So it is hard
Shane: I didn’t mean it like that
Ilya: Are you sure
Because I think you did
You always do
Shane: I didn’t!!
Ilya: Do you know why
Shane: No
Ilya: Yes you do :)
Say it
Shane: I’m not gonna
Ilya: Say it
You know you want to
Shane: Sigh
Fine
Slut
Ilya: Yes you are
:)
Shane: You’re so lucky I like you
Ilya: Yes
Shane: :)
Ilya: Are you blushing
Shane: No
Ilya: :(
Tuesday, November 11
Shane: Pips #58 Easy 🟢
0:17 🍪
Pips #58 Medium 🟡
1:52
Pips #58 Hard 🔴
2:05
Ilya: Pips #58 Easy 🟢
0:23
Pips #58 Medium 🟡
0:43
Pips #58 Hard 🔴
1:36
Shane: Wordle 1,564 4/6
⬛⬛⬛⬛🟩
🟨⬛⬛⬛🟩
⬛⬛🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
Ilya: No
Fuck off
I told you
No wordle
Shane: C’mon
Ilya: Over my dead body
Shane: It’s a good word today
You’ll like it
Very patriotic
Ilya: If this is stupid
I will punish you
Shane: 😉
Ilya: 🫵 slut
Shane: Yeah yeah
Get a new insult
Ilya: Not insult
Just truth
Shane: Are you doing the wordle
Ilya: No
Shane: I think you’re lying
Ilya: You just want me to play more boring games
So I become like you
Boring
And old
Hunter is turning you old
Disgusting
Shane: We’re the same age
Ilya: You and Hunter?
When did you age 1000 years
Shane: Omg shut up
Ilya: Wordle 1,564 5/6
⬜⬜🟩⬜⬜
⬜⬜🟩🟩⬜
⬜⬜🟩🟩⬜
⬜⬜🟩🟩⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
The fuck you mean double letters
Why is that allowed???
English is stupid
Wordle is stupid
Never again
Shane: But you got it!!!
Ilya: NEVER
AGAIN
Also what did you mean by patriotic
Shane: You know
Geese
Canadian geese
Ilya: …
You are the worst
Shane: :)
Same time tomorrow?
Ilya: Pips yes
Wordle no
Shane: We’ll see
I’ll make you a slut yet
Ilya: If you add me to that group chat
We are done
Forever
No remorse
Shane: So you don’t want to be a slut with me? :(
Ilya: That is not what I said
You put words in my mouth
Very rude
Shane: Your buddy Hayes is in it
You should tell him you play pips
Ilya: I would rather die
I do not play
I WIN
Remember
I am pips king
Shane: Yeah yeah
For now
Ilya: For always :)
And you love it
Shane: Maybe
Ilya: I can see you blushing from here
Shane: NO YOU CANT
Ilya: Ok no I can’t
But I know I’m right
Shane: Maybe
Ilya: :)
Shane: :)
Wednesday, November 12
Shane: Wordle 1,565 5/6
⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
🟩🟩🟩⬛⬛
🟩🟩🟩⬛⬛
🟩🟩🟩⬛🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
Ilya: Fuck off
Wordle 1,565 5/6
⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
⬛⬛🟨🟨⬛
🟨🟨⬛⬛🟨
🟩🟩🟨🟩⬛
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
Shane: :)
Now all that’s left is connections
Ilya: What the fuck is connections
Shane: You’ll see :)