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It’s not like Drake had ever paid much attention to his history classes. Or any classes, really. If asked what the current topic of discussion was, he would probably shrug. There were just too many distractions, too much taking his focus away.
And now there was something new distracting him. It wasn’t often that new people joined in the middle of the school year, but apparently it had happened. Drake must have skipped class the day he was introduced, but there he was, sitting at the next desk over. Drake wasn’t sure what it was, but he had a presence that captivated him. He caught himself over and over, watching him from the corner of his eye.
His skin was dark, his hair even darker and held in thin, short braids. One of them was hanging in his face in a way Drake knew would drive him insane.
“Drake!” He almost jumped. “At least pretend to pay attention, please?” Mr. Calvert sounded exasperated.
“Sorry,” Drake mumbled. From the corner of his eye he saw the new guy looking at him, but he couldn’t read his expression. Refusing to actually look at him, he focused on the first snow of the year starting to fall outside the window.
***
Drake sighed when he stepped outside into the cold. It hadn’t stopped snowing in days, and by now the entire ground was covered. He felt it begin to wet his hair, his bangs sticking to his face as he walked towards the parking lot.
“Yo!” someone called behind him. Drake turned, stilling when he saw who it was. “You’ve been staring at me quite a bit,” he said.
Drake felt a tinge of panic rise in him. He was a good head taller than Drake. He’d never noticed, never seen him stand as Drake was usually the last person to enter the classroom and the first to leave. His classmate smiled broadly, his brown eyes sparkling with it, and Drake could finally feel himself relax. “It’s cool. I suppose I could only see you look ‘cause I was looking too. I like your hair.” His smile only grew, and Drake wasn’t sure how.
Drake finally regained posture. “Thanks,” he said. “Yours is really cool too. You haven’t been here long, right?” he asked, trying to change the topic to something more casual.
“Nah,” he shook his head. “My family moved here ‘bout a month ago, but we had some stuff to settle. I only started coming regularly like two weeks ago. I’m Derrik, by the way.” There was that broad smile again.
“Drake,” he answered, holding out his hand for Derrik, and he shook it firmly.
“Nice to meet ya, Drake,” Derrik said. He’d only touched his hand for seconds, but Drake could swear he still felt the warmth.
“Yea, you too.” The words took a lot more effort than they should have, leaving Drake breathless. “I really gotta…” Drake motioned his thumbs in the general direction of the parking lot.
“Sure,” Derrik said. “See ya around.”
When Drake finally reached the car and sat behind the wheel, he felt a strange sensation setting around his stomach. He grimaced. “Must’ve eaten something bad,” he said to himself.
***
Josh’s brows furrowed when he heard the door to their shared room opening. His day at school had ended an hour before Drake’s, and he really hadn’t expected him to be home for another couple hours.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, his hands hovering over the keyboard where he was doing his homework.
Drake threw his backpack into the corner and himself onto the couch. “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” Josh said, “It’s Friday, you have the afternoon off and you’re here.” When Drake still looked at him in confusion, one brow lifted, Josh sighed. “No date?” He could see the realization hit Drake’s face, his mouth slowly forming an O.
“Nah,” was all the answer Josh got before Drake switched on the TV.
Strange, Josh thought to himself.
***
“Drake,” Derrik called in greeting when he approached Drake by his locker a week later.
“Hi,” Drake responded, an involuntary smile pulling on his lips.
“I was wondering if you wanted to hang after school some time,” Derrik said. “I got this new CD and I think you’d like it.”
Drake considered his words for a moment, a strange kind of giddiness starting to crawl up in him. But also… “How do you know what music I like?” he asked, brows drawn close.
Derrik shrugged. “Just based on the vibes I get from you.” There was that broader-than-possible smile again.
“Um.. sure,” Drake smiled back. “Does tomorrow work for you?”
“Absolutely,” Derrik said. “See you in class.”
Drake turned to close his locker when he heard footsteps fast approaching behind him.
“Hi Drake.” The sound of her voice made his body crawl and his face tense. He turned around slowly, trying to remember her name before he met her eyes. But nope. Gone.
“Hi…” he said. It sounded more like a question than a genuine greeting, even to himself, but she didn’t seem to notice. The gum she was chewing open-mouthed threatened to fall out when she spoke again.
“Tomorrow’s Friday,” she noted. He waited for her to go on, but she didn’t.
“Yea,” he finally said, “that usually happens after Thursday.”
Whatever-her-name-was giggled, the forced nature of it making Drake shudder. “Duh,” she said. “So would you like to come to my place? My parents won’t be home all weekend.” She smirked, gum held between her teeth.
Drake considered her for a split second. “Nah, sorry,” he said. Her face fell.
“Whatever,” she started chewing aggressively again. “So what did that Deryl guy want from you?”
“Derrik,” Drake corrected her. “We were talking about music.”
It was obvious she didn’t listen to him. “I heard he had to switch schools ‘cause he was getting bullied ‘cause he’s gay. Did you know that?” she sneered.
Drake felt his heart race. His annoyance was slowly turning to anger. “I don’t think that’s really any of our business, is it?” he asked.
She huffed through her nose, rolling her eyes. “Whatever,” she said again, already walking away.
“Whatever,” Drake echoed quietly to himself, imitating her voice.
***
Josh met Drake at the Premiere after school. They still had half an hour before the movie started, so they’d gotten something to eat.
About ten minutes in, Josh had excused himself to the bathroom, and when he came back, he found a scene that was not unusual at all. A pretty brunette was leaning halfway across the table, helping herself to Drake’s nachos, obviously flirting with him. What was unusual about it was that his mouth wasn’t on hers yet. In fact, he didn’t seem to put any effort into the conversation at all. She finally gave up when he pulled his tray away from her, out of her reach. She gave him a look that asked if he was insane before she walked off.
“Dude, she was so into you,” Josh said as soon as he was back at the table, surprised at Drake’s indifference. “And she was hot!”
Drake huh-ed, turning to look after her. “Oh, yea,” he said, but there was no heart in it. “I suppose she is.”
“Aren’t you gonna go after her?” Josh asked.
For a split second, Drake seemed to consider it, then he shook his head, grimacing. “Nah,” was all the answer Josh got before Drake put his full focus back on his Nachos.
Weird.
***
“Where are you going?” Josh asked when he noticed Drake go for his jacket, patting his pockets in that typical have-I-got-everything-I-need way.
Drake seemed almost surprised to be addressed. His mind had clearly been elsewhere. “There’s a new guy in my history class, we’re gonna listen to this new CD he got.”
“Oh, what is it?” Josh asked. It was nice to see Drake so excited. For how social he was, he really had a hard time making friends.
Drake thought for a moment, his brows furrowing just slightly. “He didn’t tell me,” he seemed to remember.
Josh nodded slowly, confused. “But he knows you like it?”
Drake huffed a little laugh, gesturing through the air. “Vibes.”
“Ah,” Josh lifted his eyebrows. “Alright, have fun,” he smiled. He waited for Drake to close the door behind him before he chuckled, shaking his head in amusement.
***
“Okay, that was really good,” Drake said when the last song on the album ended. They’d been sitting on Derrik’s bed for the past forty-five minutes, and at first Drake had been a little uncomfortable.
Derrik had let himself fall back about five minutes in, laying on his back with his eyes closed, his fingers tapping the rhythm on his stomach. Drake hadn’t really known what to do with himself, but with each song, he’d felt himself relax more until he finally let himself lie back beside him.
“I told you so,” he said, opening one eye to look at Drake, the smile forming on his lips again. His mouth seemed a little too big for his face, but it was… charming? Drake caught himself staring.
He sat up, faster than he intended, his eyes scanning the room for something else to focus on when he felt the mattress dip, Derrik sitting up next to him. There was a guitar leaning against his desk. It looked brand new, if a little dusty.
“You play?” Drake asked. The answer was obvious, really.
“Nah,” Derrik said. “I’ve wanted to try and teach myself, but I never really knew how to start. Maybe I should finally sell it.” There was something in his voice Drake identified as disappointment, even though he tried to pass it off as indifference. He knew that feeling all too well.
Drake went and picked it up before sitting back down. “I can teach you, if you want,” he said, focusing on the guitar. It was a nice one. Nothing fancy, but perfect for a beginner. He strummed a chord.
“You play guitar?” Derrik asked, though he didn’t sound surprised.
“Yea,” Drake said. “Actually my band is playing at the Premiere next Saturday, if you want to come?”
“I’d love to!” Derrik said excitedly.
Instead of answering, Drake started strumming. “How did that last song go?” he asked into the room, replicating the sound from the CD. Derrik looked at him, mesmerized. Drake tried to ignore the strange feeling it gave him. He was used to playing in front of people, he loved it. But here, now, he felt something like nervousness. It must be that he’s not playing one of his own songs, he told himself. He stopped to look up at the clock above the door. “It’s getting late, I really should get going,” he said, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly. “You know, parents.”
Derrik chuckled, the sound vibrating through Drake’s bones. “It’s fine.” He stood to hand Drake his jacket.
“See you on Monday,” Drake said, already heading for the door, but he was stopped.
“Actually,” Derrik called out, “what are you doing this Sunday?”
Drake thought for a moment. “No plans yet,” he concluded.
“How about giving me my first guitar lesson then?” Derrik asked.
Drake’s heart started beating a little faster. “Absolutely. My place at three?”
“Perfect,” he grinned.
***
Josh was typing away at the laptop, and somehow it made Drake nervous. It wasn’t that he’d be embarrassed if he was here. But he would really prefer if he wasn’t.
“Derrik’s gonna be here in a bit,” he noted, looking at the screen over Josh’s shoulder.
“I’m almost done,” Josh said. Drake wasn’t sure if he imagined it, but he almost sounded apologetic.
“Drake! Your friend is here!” Audrey called from downstairs, startling him.
“Send him up,” he called back. “Derrik, this is my brother Josh,” he said when he entered the room. “Josh, Derrik from history class.”
Derrik smiled, lifting his hand in an awkward wave that Drake tried to ignore. Josh returned the smile.
“I’m almost done here, then I’ll leave you alone.” There was an exchange between the way Josh said this, and the way Derrik’s face answered that Drake couldn’t quite place. A knowing glance between them, a secret Drake wasn’t in on. He pushed the thought away.
“I wouldn’t want you to expel you from your own room,” Derrik said, apologetically. “We can wait until you’re done if the noise bothers you.”
Josh smiled fondly, and somehow it made Drake feel accomplished. “No, go ahead, I’m more than used to it.”
“Alright,” Drake gestured for Derrik to sit on the couch before he picked up his own guitar, joining him. He noted the way Derrik held his guitar. “Have you played anything so far?”
“Honestly?” Derrik laughed. “Nothing.”
“Alright, we’ll start at the basics them,” he said. He named the parts, talked about frets and strings and notes and chords, and Derrik nodded along, mouth slightly open in concentration. For a second, Drake could’ve sworn that Derrik was looking at his lips, so he started demonstrating his finger placements instead.
“This isn’t gonna work,” Derrik finally said, laughing.
“No, no, don’t say that.” Drake said. “We’ll take something really easy. Smoke on the water, just the riff and we’ll only play the sixth string, so you get a feel for it. Remember which one it is?” Derrik pointed at the correct string, and Drake nodded. “Perfect.” He played it once, and then again, slower this time, naming the frets with each pluck. “Three six eight, three six nine eight, three six eight, six three,” he said in the rhythm of the song.
“Oh yea, really easy,” Derrik noted sarcastically.
Drake’s face scrunched up in apology. “It really is a lot easier than it looks.” He thought for a moment. “Let’s try something.” He didn’t wait for an answer before he rose and walked around the couch to stand behind Derrik. He brought his hand to the guitar’s neck. “You pluck, I set the notes.”
Derrik didn’t look convinced, but he tried it. “See?” it was more of an exclamation than a question. They did it again, faster this time. “Now we switch.” Derrik looked up at him, doubtfully. “You can do it.” Derrik’s hand replaced Drake’s on the guitar’s neck. “You remember which ones?” Drake asked, repeating the frets of the song. “So these dots here,” he said, pointing at the neck, “mark frets three, five, seven, nine and twelve. If you remember those, you can place all the others.”
Derrik nodded and placed a finger on three. Drake leaned forward to reach around him and plucked once. “We got a note there,” Drake exclaimed, squeezing Derrik’s shoulder firmly, pulling away immediately when he realized what he’d done. But Derrik didn’t seem to notice. Or care.
“I’m a real musician,” Derrik joked.
“You’ll get there,” Drake said honestly.
Derrik placed his finger on six, and Drake plucked again. That way they slowly got through the entire riff.
“That was good,” Drake said. “Just let me show you something.” He placed his own hand on the guitar’s neck again. “You do this,” he said, playing the riff, lifting his finger off the frets between each note. “It’s a lot easier to do this.” He played again, this time letting his finger slide across the string.
Derrik nodded. “Alright, let me try that.” Drake started plucking the string again, but Derrik couldn’t seem to get his finger to stay on the string.
Drake hesitated for a moment. “May I?” he asked carefully, his hand hovering inches above Derrik’s.
“Please,” he said. Drake took his hand into his own, his finger covering Derrik’s. His skin was soft, a little rougher across the knuckles. Drake wondered if it was because of the cold. He started guiding his hand from note to note, feeling the instrument’s vibrations through Derrik’s fingers.
He didn’t notice that Josh had stopped typing and was watching him from the corner of his eye, smiling gently.
***
The song would probably be stuck in Josh’s head for the next week, but the guitar lesson Drake was giving really didn’t bother him as much as he thought it would. Well, not bother, but he was working on an important assignment that he had to focus on. Either way, it turned out to be rather fun to listen. Derrik was really nice, and something about him seemed to ground Drake in a way Josh rarely saw.
Josh finally stopped typing altogether when he saw Drake walk around the couch. He watched from the corner of his eye as Drake carefully explained to him, leant over him, helped him play. He watched as Drake gently held his hand and guided his fingers. And suddenly, it all started to make sense to Josh. Drake’s lack of dates. His behavior around girls lately. He smiled to himself.
He rose slowly, not wanting to interrupt, but Derrik noticed anyway, grimacing.
“Sorry. When you said you were used to it you meant you were used to good playing.”
“Oh, no worries, not fleeing,” Josh reassured him. “I told my girlfriend I’d pick her up when I’m done with my homework, and… Well, I’m done.” It was a lie, really. Not the girlfriend part. He had promised Mindy that he would come over. But the homework could wait until later tonight. “It was really nice to meet you.” he said, grabbing his jacket.
“Yea, you too,” Derrik smiled big and genuinely. He could see what Drake saw in him. And he couldn’t say he was surprised, either.
***
“Alright,” Drake said, his hands firmly holding on to the back of the couch. Something about the way Josh had reacted made him feel a little uneasy. Caught, in a way. “Try it by yourself now.”
Derrik nodded, but he didn’t get far before the door flew open.
“Hey boobs, I need the—" Megan stopped abruptly, evaluating the situation. “Who’s he?” she demanded with a nod of her head.
Drake sighed. “Derrik, my little sister Megan. My friend Derrik.” Derrik gave a short nod, his smile returning.
She huh-ed in a way that moved her entire body. “Drake, Derrik,” she said quickly, making the names sound oddly similar. “That’s kinda funny.” She shrugged and turned to leave.
“Wait, what did you need?” Drake called after her.
Megan turned to face him, her brows drawn. “None of your business. Continue.”
Derrik was still smiling as he looked at Drake, though his eyes clearly said What the fuck?
Drake just shook his head. “Don’t mind her.”
***
“Is your brother staying home again?” Audrey asked. Josh had been helping her in the kitchen for the past hour, and so far it’s been in comfortable silence. Though now he heard the barely audible tension in her voice, he realized it’s been there the entire time.
“Yes, he said he wanted to go through the songs for the gig at the Premiere in three days,” Josh said. She didn’t look convinced, but left it at that. For a moment, at least.
“Josh…” she started again. “Is everything okay with Drake?”
Josh smiled. “I think so.”
“It’s just…” The worry was now apparent on her face. “He hasn’t been acting like himself lately. He’s so quiet, he doesn’t go out. He hasn’t driven me insane in a while.”
Josh smiled, picking up the tea towel he’d put aside earlier, getting back to the now clean dishes. “I think he might be acting more like himself than he ever has.”
“You think so?” she asked him, the worry starting to fade to curiosity.
Josh simply nodded. It wasn’t his place to theorize about Drake, and even less to tell their mom about it. Drake would tell them in his own time.
***
“Are you ready?” Derrik asked him, smiling broadly. Eight minutes until Drake's band would go on.
“Absolutely,” Drake said, returning the smile. “Are you?” he teased.
“More than ready.”
Drake had been nervous all evening, which was so unusual for him. He’d played the Premiere many times before. Hell, he’d had bigger audiences than this. But something about tonight felt different.
First it was the worry that Derrik wouldn’t show up. He’d let him know that he was running late, having to help his mom with something. But when he finally did show up about five minutes ago, the feeling didn’t fade. It only grew stronger instead.
“Gotta go,” Drake said, picking up his guitar.
“Good luck,” Derrik smiled, giving him a wink.
The others had started warming up, the rhythmic tapping of drumsticks and quiet notes being plucked on the bass guitar finally letting Drake settle into the mood. Derrik stepped closer as people started gathering.
Drake strummed a chord once, loudly, getting everyone’s attention. The set was about to begin. Drake stepped behind the microphone, and Derrik’s eyes grew wide, his mouth forming an O. It was only then that Drake realized that he’d never told him that he was also the singer.
“This one’s called found a way,” he announced. His drummer counted in and he started singing. His eyes found Derrik’s, and that strange feeling in his stomach returned. Derrik smiled his big smile, moving freely to the music, and Drake couldn’t help but watch.
The next song was Hollywood Girl, and cheering broke loose before they even hit the last note.
“Thank you so much, everyone, we really appreciate you all being here. This last song is called makes me happy.”
Drake put everything he had into the song. And for some reason, it felt like the song had a real meaning for the very first time.
***
Josh stood by the theaters entrance. His family was here too, but Megan had wanted a soda, and since then he’d lost sight of them. But it didn’t matter. Drake’s band was about to go on, and he would rather watch him perform than spend his time finding them. Though weirdly, Drake wasn’t on stage yet, either. Josh scanned the room and finally spotted him chatting with Derrik while the rest of the band had already started settling in.
Finally, Drake seemed to realize that it was time. The crowd became denser, the atmosphere tensed with excitement, and finally they started playing.
Though something was different. Drake had always put his entire soul into his music, but now his heart was in it more than ever. And when he followed his gaze, finding the same spot in the crowd again and again, Josh knew why. Derrik was dancing freely, head tilted back and eyes closed, opening them only from time to time to meet Drake’s. At one point Josh could have sworn he saw Drake wink at him.
After the set, when Drake stepped off the stage, Josh made his way over to him. As did the rest of the family, fighting their way through the crowd from the other side. As did Derrik.
“You were amazing,” Derrik said, full of genuine awe. “Oh, I play in a band,” he imitated him. “You forgot to mention you’re also the singer in your band.” There was no bite to his words, his smile as broad as it was when Josh met him.
Drake grimaced. “Sorry. Josh is also our manager, I probably didn’t mention that either.”
And now the attention was on him. “Dude, that’s so cool,” Derrik said. Josh waved him off.
“Drake’s doing the important part.”
“Alright!” Drake called out, clearly getting embarrassed. “Who wants to grab something to eat? Nachos, anyone?”
“It’s getting late,” Audrey said, apologetically. “We’ll head home, but you boys have fun.” She pulled a few dollars out of her pocket, handing them to Josh. “Don’t be too late.”
Josh considered for a moment. “Actually,” he finally said, handing the money to Drake before he addressed their parents. “I’ll go with you, I’m getting tired.” He patted Drake on the back. “You were great.”
Drake looked a little dumbfounded, but there was a tinge that told Josh he was grateful for it.
***
Drake couldn’t sleep. It was one a.m., he’d been in bed since midnight, and the thoughts constantly circling through his mind were… feelings. Anxiety. Fear. Confusion. But there was also a giddiness he’d never felt before. One that came to the surface every time his thoughts wandered to tonight’s gig. To the guitar lesson. To listening to Derrik’s CD.
To Derrik.
With all of it came the confusion. What did any of it mean? The logical conclusion was that he liked him. He pushed that thought to the back of his mind immediately. He wasn’t gay. He wasn’t. And he had at least two dozen girls he dated to prove it. Though, thinking about it, none of them had ever made him feel like this.
His heart was racing and he couldn’t help but feel a little sick. He couldn’t be gay. He just couldn’t. A sense of despair overtook him. He took a deep, shaking breath in, pressing the backs of his hands to his eyes. The deep breath out seemed to slow his racing heart, if only for a moment. He lifted himself enough to look to where Josh was sleeping, snoring gently. He let himself fall back again. Another deep breath. He felt like crying. It was one thing to realize that he liked a guy. Terrifying enough. But to realize, now that he knew how it was supposed to feel, that he couldn’t feel that way with girls. The fear made him want to weep.
But it made sense. God, it made perfect sense. His aversion to the idea of calling any of them his girlfriend. Dating had been easy. It was status. It was cover, even if subconsciously. But he realized he couldn’t imagine anything beyond that.
With Derrik, on the other hand… Just the thought of him made him calm.
But what would people think? Fear won the upper hand again. Derrik had to switch schools. How would he deal with it? He couldn’t. And what would his parents think? What would Josh think?
It was two a.m. and Drake was still staring at the ceiling, a lump in his throat and his eyes full of unshed tears.
***
“Josh.” It was quiet, and if he didn’t have a light sleep, he wouldn’t have heard it at all. He breathed out deeply, hoping it would fool Drake into thinking he was still asleep. “Josh,” he called again, a little louder this time. He sighed. “Are you awake?” Drake asked.
Josh turned, lying on his back now, staring at the dark ceiling. “I am now,” he said. A glance at the clock on his nightstand told him it was two thirty a.m.
“Can I talk to you about something?” Drake asked. Josh’s brows furrowed. Drake sounded unsure, a little anxious.
“Of course, what is it?” He didn’t get to finish his question before he felt his blanket being lifted and his mattress dip. “Sure, come right on in,” he said, biting his tongue at the sarcastic remark. It wasn’t often that Drake came to him for… what was it? “Are you okay?” he asked gently.
Drake settled in next to him. He barely saw more than a silhouette, the moon outside the window providing the only light in the room. But he could tell that something was on his mind. His mouth opened and closed a few times, clearly overthinking his words.
“I’m not sure how to do this,” Drake finally admitted, quietly. Josh gave him a moment before he decided to help him along. He turned his head to look at him, his eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness.
“Is this about Derrik?” Josh asked quietly. What played across Drake’s face was a mix of panic and relief, a breath escaping him that sounded like he’d been holding it for weeks. Drake nodded.
“I think so. I think it’s not just about Derrik, though.” Drake was quiet again, but Josh let him gather his thoughts. “These past weeks since—since I’ve met Derrik. I’ve been feeling things and I thought I was, like, getting sick or dying or whatever. But I realized that what I felt was probably what I was supposed to feel with all those girls. But I didn’t. I’ve never felt this way before.” Drake spoke so quietly, Josh had to focus to hear him at all. “And I don’t know what to do.” His voice broke.
“Hey,” Josh said quietly, gently. And finally, for the first time, Drake looked at him. There were tears glistening in his eyes, and Josh wanted nothing more than for him to be alright. “What exactly is it that you’re worried about?” Josh asked. “Is it that you worry whether he likes you too? Because I can assure you, he does. He’s flirting with you all the time.” Josh chuckled, trying to lighten Drake’s mood.
Drake laughed through his now falling tears. “It’s more the I think I’m gay and I don’t know what my family and friends and I don’t know, the entire school, will think about me part that’s terrifying me,” Drake admitted, surprisingly honest.
Josh laughed, turning back to face the ceiling. “Do you remember what you said when I told you I was dating Mindy?”
Drake thought for a minute. “I told you that you should date whoever you want to date.”
Josh smiled. “Exactly. You also said that it doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks.” Josh huffed. “I also remember you telling me in that same conversation that you don’t like half of the girls you date, so this really isn’t as big of a surprise as you think it is.”
Drake’s hands came up in fists over his eyes, pressing the backs of his hands to his eyebrows. “Oh god,” he exhaled, laughing. He sighed. “Do you think mom and Walter will be mad?”
“They’ll be happy when you’re happy,” Josh reassured him quietly, and Drake finally relaxed. “I think you should talk to Derrik tomorrow.”
“Yea,” Drake said, barely more than a whisper. Before Josh could say anything else, Drake fell asleep beside him.
***
“Thanks for meeting me,” Drake said as soon as Derrik closed the door to his room. He was nervous, his heart beating in his throat so loudly he was afraid Derrik might hear it.
“Of course,” Derrik smiled, though his expression shifted to worry when he looked at Drake. He must look like an absolute mess. “What’s wrong?” he asked, motioning for Drake to sit.
Drake took a deep breath as he settled onto the edge of the bed. “I’ve been…” he started, unsure how to say what he so desperately wanted to say. “I’ve been thinking. A lot, lately. About myself, things regarding myself. And I think it’s because of you. No, it’s… It’s not just because of you, but I think it might have taken a lot longer for me to figure this out if it wasn’t for you.”
Derrik looked at him, listening patiently while Drake stumbled through his words.
Drake shook his head. “What I’m trying to say is, I like you. And it made me realize that I’ve never liked anyone like this before.” He swore his heart would jump out through his mouth at any moment now.
Derrik’s brows furrowed. “Wait, we weren’t already dating?” The shock on Drake’s face must have been palpable. “Just kidding,” Derrik added quickly, laughing gently. “I really like you too,” he said quietly.
Drake could’ve cried with the relief he felt. He released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, sinking forward with a laugh, his eyes closing.
Derrik brought his hand to Drake’s back, rubbing circles between his shoulder blades. “I know the feeling,” he reassured him. “Small steps, you’ll get there.”
And Drake felt understood. So completely understood. He sat up tall, pulling Derrik into a firm hug. He was so warm, he never wanted to let go.
But Derrik pulled back. Just enough to bring a gentle hand to Drake’s face, holding him like he was something precious. His thumb brushed his cheekbone, then his lips. Drake was breathless. Anxiety and anticipation fought a battle in his mind, but when Derrik leaned in, all else was forgotten. Drake’s eyes fluttered shut.
The first touch of lips was light as a feather, and for a good three seconds, neither of them dared to move. It was Drake who finally took initiative, suddenly feeling brave. He brought his hand up to Derrik’s neck, holding him without pulling. He let his lips brush against Derrik’s, a little firmer than before, just once before he pulled back. Derrik looked at him with glazed eyes, his mouth slightly ajar. Drake captured his lips once more. They really were as soft as he’d imagined them to be.
The first accidental touch of tongues felt like electricity shooting through his body and Drake couldn’t help but laugh into the kiss, already breathless. Their foreheads met, moving against each other with each heavy breath.
“This feels like I’m having my first kiss all over again,” Drake chuckled, a good kind of nervosity replacing all anxiety.
Derrik brought both hands to Drake’s face, pressing a kiss to the bridge of his nose.
***
“Alright,” Drake said, taking a deep breath, holding his phone up for Derrik to see. “Josh texted back, he said everyone’s home.”
Derrik smiled, gently. “And you’re sure you’re ready for this? There’s no pressure, you have all the time in the world.”
For just a second, doubt overcame Drake. Was he ready? To be completely honest, he didn’t know. But what if he never was? How did that saying go? Do it scared.
He nodded, taking a deep breath. “I think I am.”
Josh opened the door for them, giving Drake a reassuring nod. “They’re in the living room,” he said quietly.
Drake took a deep breath. “Mom, Walter, Megan?” he called, getting their attention before stepping closer. “I want you to meet someone.”
Three pairs of confused eyes looked back at him, then at Derrik when he stepped in next to Drake. “We know Derrik,” Audrey noted carefully, looking at Drake like he’d gone insane.
Drake nodded, “I know.” He slowly reached for Derrik’s hand, focusing hard to keep his voice from shaking. “I want to introduce him to you as my boyfriend. And I want to tell you that—” he hesitated for a second, working up the courage to say the word. “That I’m gay.”
The moment after felt like years and everything came back to Drake. The fear, the anxiety, but now there was a new one trying to push its way inside his mind. Regret. Only for a second, though.
Audrey was the first to rise. She crossed the distance faster than Drake had ever seen her move, pulling him into a tight hug. Everyone else joined quickly after.
“I love you, honey,” Audrey whispered into his hair before letting go. “Thank you for telling us.” She turned to Derrik, looking at him for a long moment, his smile growing nervous. “You really are so pretty,” she finally said.
“Mooom,” Drake groaned, but Derrik just laughed.
“You know,” Megan piped in. Drake had almost forgotten about her. “Actually this makes so much sense.”
Audrey shushed her at the same time Drake sighed in mock-defeat. “I know,” he said, resulting in laughter from all sides.