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It’s over, right? It’s over.
It didn’t feel over. Picking up the pieces of his life was arguably harder than fighting any monster for Will. Years of fighting, of being trapped, alone, scared; that doesn’t just leave you. The last swing of the axe should have been it, but still, the fear lingered in Will’s head.
Their home was gone, with everything that went down, nobody had considered the Byers family becoming homeless. But homeless they had been. Of course, within eighteen months they had found a new place, but it wasn’t home. Will wasn’t sure he knew what home was. Was it his childhood home, with Castle Byers to hide in? Was it the upside down, where he had spent so long, alone? Was it California? Or maybe Mike’s house?
Mike. That name was a constant echo through Will’s mind, reminding him of everything he had been through. Mike. His childhood best friend. Through everything, Mike had been there. But they weren’t children anymore, and things had changed between them through the years in a way that made Will’s teeth ache. There was something he had said. Something he wished he could take back.
But time was hurrying as always, and pulled Will out of his thoughts. Mike would be here soon. They had finished their last campaign and as Max, Lucas and Dustin were busy, it would just be Will and Mike. Will wiped his hands on his jeans before he walked to the front door, unsure why he suddenly felt so clammy.
Right on time, there he was. Michael Wheeler in the flesh. It all melted away, the nerves, the nightmares, the overthinking. Mike was here, and everything felt warm. They stood for a few seconds, staring at each other.
“Hey!”
Will was the first to break the tension, he was never too fond of silence anymore.
“Hey, Will.”
It was so casual. His name on Mikes tongue, a word he’d heard a thousand times.
“Um- come in, you can come up to my room.”
The two walked up the stairs of Will’s new house, stairs that had slowly become familiar. This had become a pattern for them since the campaign had finished- planning something with the whole group, and one by one everyone dropping out. Not that Will minded, he enjoyed being alone with Mike. There was no real plan for today; the best part of being with Mike was just the comfort in doing nothing. There didn’t need to be an elaborate plan, just the two of them, together. Not together. Will had to correct his mind- they were friends, best friends. Nothing more. Mike had made that very clear.
As they entered the bedroom, Will sat on his bed, and Mike lingered for a moment before sitting on the desk chair. A short enough pause that Will almost didn’t notice. It didn’t mean anything though. The two sat, looking at each other before Mike spoke.
“You’re taller, you know?”
Will frowned, “What do you mean?”
“Since this all started, you’ve grown.”
“I mean, I hope I have,” Will laughed dryly, “It’s been years.”
Mike looked down at his feet and smiled. “You know what I mean- you, you’ve changed.”
Was that a slight blush on his face? Will pretended he didn’t see it.
“How?”
“Well,” Mike began, “You’re so confident now. Saying what you said to us all in the radio station- I could never do that-“
“It was years of coming to terms with it, I had years to prepare, Mike. I mean, I wasn’t exactly excited to do it, I just had to. You haven’t dealt with all that shit inside so you don’t need to.”
“Right. I don’t need to. But I was so proud of you- am so proud of you.”
This is where Will began to blush, comforted by Mike’s soft words. There was nothing Will could say to that, nothing except the huge secret that might push Mike away for good. And he couldn’t have that, not after they’d worked so hard to get back to being friends. Will had thought sharing he was gay would relieve him of the stress that came from hiding a part of yourself, but secrets were still eating away at him. When you hide so much of who you are, it can be impossible to share anything, in the fear that it could trace back to the very thing you can’t tell anyone. There was one such secret from Mike. As soon as Will had told everyone he was over his “childhood crush”, he knew that could never be true. He was well and truly in love with Mike Wheeler. Self acceptance can come through the form of loving someone, momentarily, but love doesn’t die just because you love yourself.
A silence had broken out between the boys again, but this time Will didn’t feel so nervous. Mike was right, he had done something most people never even have to think about doing, and it was hard. Though the pain from the years of turmoil (literal and emotional) wasn’t going to disappear, he couldn’t deny how much stronger he was.
Mike got up, and Will thought he was just going to put on music, but instead he sat down next to Will on the bed. He looked at Mike, his curls a little shorter than last year, his jaw tense ,and his eyes soft.
“I- I had something I wanted to ask you, I mean I had a few things, a lot of things to- um- ask you, but there was never really a good time, not when, well saving the world. But then El and everything and I just didn’t.”
Mike’s eyelashes fluttered slightly, like he was nervous, and Will grew nervous himself, wondering just how much Mike had been holding back.
“Oh. I- why don’t you ask me now?”
“I want to, I will, I- just,” Mike smiled sheepishly, “I’m nervous.”
Will considered this, what Mike might have to ask him that would make him nervous. It was probably El. Now that Will had discovered his own powers, Mike probably thought he’d have some way of knowing if she was alive.
“You can ask me, I mean if I can tell a room full of people I’m gay, you can ask your best friend a question.”
Mike turned slightly pale at this and clenched his fist.
“I wanted to ask you about El,” he began.
Will nodded, it was as he thought.
“Well, kinda about El, but also kinda about you. The painting- I can’t stop thinking about it. El didn’t need me, Will. Hell, how she’d know anything about D&D I don’t know. What was that?”
Will exhaled, slowly. He was hoping they would both forget about the painting.
“I- you’re my best friend, Mike. I meant everything, I just used El as an excuse. I knew it would mean more coming from her than me.”
This wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t the full truth either, but friends don’t lie.
“Friends don’t lie, Will. Why would you need to use El as an excuse? Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“I don’t know. What else did you want to ask me?”
Will was hoping the breezy subject change would be enough to stop Mike digging too deep into the subject.
“Who’s Tammy? I thought you didn’t like girls.”
Will snorted, taken by surprise.
“It’s nothing,” he laughed, “Just something Robin said to me- a way of figuring out who you are so you can accept yourself.”
“Oh. So that’s all this guy was to you? You’re over it now?”
Will rubbed his hands on his jeans again, praying Mike wouldn’t notice. Mike looked down at Will’s hands. Shit.
“Um- I- yeah?”
It came out more questioning than Will had hoped, but there was no good answer to that question.
Mike’s eyelashes began to flutter slightly again, as if he was nervous to speak.
“How did you know you were- um- you know-“
“Over him?” Will finished.
“No. Um- how did you know you were…” Mike trailed off and his brows furrowed as he looked away from Will, too scared to finish his question.
“Gay?” Will filled in. “It’s okay, you can say the word. It’s not a bad word.”
“I-yeah. Sorry, I just- gay- um-“ Mike’s words came out flustered, and he shook his head slightly, as if trying to shake off the uncomfortable feeling.
“Well- I guess- I guess I always knew I was different. It’s- you know when you can just feel something- like when I could feel Vecna- but not like that because it wasn’t evil- but I guess it kinda felt like that at the time- but I just knew. The boy. It just felt the way books and movies and, well you know. Like you and El.”
Will hadn’t been expecting that question, and he’d never really thought about how he knew before. There were his friends, and there was Mike. That was it. That’s all it took. But he couldn’t say that. These questions were getting too close to the truth, but somehow he couldn’t help but want Mike to dig deeper, to hear him out. Maybe being turned down was what he needed for Will to move on.
“I guess that makes sense. The knowing thing. I’m sorry, Will, I’m sorry for not asking you before.” Mike’s eyes, focused on Will’s face, eyebrows still furrowed and jaw tense.
“Mike, you didn’t know-“
“I did. I did know, Will.”
These words rung in the air like a piano chord reverberating after the song had finished. If Mike knew Will was gay, then did he know everything?
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“So the crush-“
“I love you, Will.”
Will exhaled sharply and couldn’t seem to find his breath again- like the air had been sucked out of the room.
“What?”
“I love you.”
So Will hadn’t misheard. Mike had said it. Maybe he’d just misunderstood.
“I mean we’re best friends- I know you love me, I love you. We’re friends!”
“No, Will,” Mike’s eyes lifted from the ground, and there was some kind of searching on his face, like he was reading Will for an answer.
“Will, I- I know I’m not- not good with feelings, sometimes but I- you’re not just my best friend. I know that you liked me and I know that you’re over it and it’s okay because you’re happy and I want you to be happy. I just- I loved El. I did love her, but it felt like I was supposed to because I’m a boy and she was a girl. And she’s gone. But I felt the same, feel the same way about you. So I got confused. I pushed you away because I couldn’t like a boy. I couldn’t like you. So I tried to work on things with El because if I felt the same way about her as I did you then I couldn’t be in love with her and she was so in love with me. I couldn’t say it to her. I couldn’t, because that would mean I had to tell you, and it was just too hard and-“
Mike was now gently crying and Will tentatively placed his hand on Mike’s shoulder. He was shaking, partly from the crying, and partly, Will suspected, from the fear of opening up. Mike turned to face Will, and was enveloped into a hug. Will’s arms were stronger than Mike had thought, and felt safe.
“Mike, it’s okay. You’ve said it now, you can relax.”
The hard part was over for Mike, but not for Will. He knew he had to tell Mike about his feelings, but just because Mike felt the same didn’t mean it was going to be easy. He was still navigating grief and trauma, and Will was sure he was the first person Mike had confided in about liking a boy. There were plenty of reasons he wouldn’t want to date Will.
After Mike’s tears had subsided, and they slowly broke apart from the hug, Will took Mike’s hand. They looked at each other, and immediately away. Tingles ran up Will’s arm and he was sure Mike felt it too. “I lied. I- the childhood crush. He wasn’t- you weren’t just my Tammy. Yes, you helped me accept who I was, but it didn’t just go away when I did. You give me strength, you’ve always been there. I love you, Mike. I tried to make it go away. I thought you’d be disgusted. But I couldn’t stop loving you. You helped me feel not alone. If you’ll let me can I help you feel less alone?”
Mike smiled at his friend, and one last tear dripped down his face. Will gently wiped it away, and his hand lingered on Mike’s face.
“You do. You do make me feel less alone. It’s taken some time, but I think I actually like myself now. I know I was an asshole, especially to you, and I’m sorry. You have always been so you, and you let me be me, all of me- even the weird parts I’ve been too scared to show anyone else. When you told us you didn’t like girls, I felt so free for a moment. I was so proud of you and it made me realise I was hiding. I know I hurt you by hiding but I’m here now. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, there’s no need to keep apologising, Mike,” Will said firmly, “The past is over now. I forgive you.”
They hugged for a second time, both feeling the warmth from the other seeping into them, lighting up the parts they’d been hiding for so long. Will’s hand found the back of Mike’s neck and he gently rubbed the nape, where the skin met soft curls. Mike’s arms stayed tightly wrapped around Will’s torso, but his head nestled into the crook of Will’s neck, resting on his shoulder. He could smell the light aftershave Will used, as well as the mingled scent of laundry detergent and warmth that reminded Mike of Will since they were little.
“So,” Mike’s voice came out slightly muffled, “You think I’m hot, huh?”
“Shut up!” Will grinned.
“Am I wrong?” Mike lifted his head up and Will wanted to kiss the stupid smirk on his face.
“Well, no. You’re pretty hot.”
Will’s face flushed and Mike’s smirk grew even bigger.
“Yeah, you look pretty hot too. Maybe you should turn the AC up.”
Will rolled his eyes and it melted into a smile. He put his hand on Mike’s knee and smirked slightly himself.
“Well we can’t have just me being hot. That wouldn’t be fair now, would it?”
Mike looked down at the hand and with his eyes traced Will’s arm up the shoulder until he was looking at his face. More specifically, his lips.
“Can I-“ Mike hesitated, “Can I kiss you?”
Tingles shot up through Will’s arm again.
“Yeah, dummy.” The words came more breathless than Will intended.
Slowly, Mike moved closer. Will couldn’t take his eyes off Mike’s full lips. Suddenly it felt even warmer in the room, and Will wished he had turned the AC on. Their lips met, soft and firm. A small, tentative kiss. They pulled away and looked at each other, smiling, before moving closer again. This time, Will’s hand found its way into Mike’s hair as Mike placed one on Will’s waist and one on his face. It was tender, slow. Neither of them wanted to break apart, but when they eventually did, it felt like floating back down to earth.
“That was-“
“Amazing?” Mike finished.
“The best first kiss I could have hoped for.”
Will smiled shyly and Mike cradled his face again.
There was almost no need to say anything, the silence saying it all, but still, Mike felt the need to vocalise his thoughts.
“I love you, Will Byers.”
“I love you too, Mike Wheeler.”