Chapter Text
I begin in darkness, my nose tells me everything I need to know.
There are four other pups in the den, my brothers and sisters. Sharp is the biggest, and named for his bite. Pounce is right behind him, and she is the only one of us brave and big enough to wrestle him. Wag is quiet, and she follows Pounce the same way I follow Swift, my big brother. He is bigger than Wag and me, but smaller than Sharp and Pounce. He was the first for everything, first to Mother's milk, first to open his eyes, and the first to walk and run.
While Mother feeds us and sings her song, I nuzzle under Swift's chin, asking him to share. He reluctantly gives up his spot and goes to find another. I must drink fast, before my spot is taken. Swift wisely skips over Sharp, then nudges Pounce, who steps on his face. He moves on to Wag, and I drink faster, because she nudges Pounce, who wrestles Sharp. He growls, and Sharp takes my spot. I walk away, I've had enough milk and don't need to beg for more. I curl up and let my eyes close. I drift to sleep as I feel Swift curl up over me, protecting me from being stepped on in the dark. I hum a thanks, or do I? I don't know. I am asleep.
The den had grown cramped. Swift used to have space to dash around, running up and down the entrance, and in circles around the den. Now, he has to step over our sleeping bodies in order to pace. However, we are not sleeping. Swift sniffs Mother's hollow, where her scent fades slightly every minute. Sharp pretends not to whimper, and Wag taps her tail on the dirt floor, muttering the words to Mother's song. "The pack belongs to the mountains, and mountains belong to the pack." "And the wolf star shines on us all..." I chime in. Wag responds, her voice a low whisper, and I whisper the words with her. Sharp tries to test if Pounce is food, and she retaliates. But I don't notice, or care, like Wag does. I turn and spot him- being the first yet again. But now, he is the first to cross the Do Not Pass. I shiver, and tuck my tail. "It's just one paw," he tells us. Right before he takes another step, and another. I fear, for Mother told us to wait. So, I will wait. I nudge Swift, begging him to wait with me. But I am no lead wolf. I dart back behind the line, crouching. My heart races- I didn't know it could beat that fast. Swift's fur ripples, and he raises his nose to the air. He becomes excited, and his tail brings dirt down from the roof. "Hush!" A demanding voice pulls my nose to the ground, and all five of us, even Sharp, bow. The voice says something far away, I cannot hear, but Swift's ears swivel up. "Hush, hush!" The pup-watcher whispers. Swift sits on his wag, and Pounce growls with impatience. Wag tucks her tail, and Sharp pushes me put of the way, coming to Swift's heels. Pounce follows, pushing me further, but I dart ahead of wag to peek behind Sharp's paws. They all vocalize their hunger, and a sweet, wild smell wafts into the entrance. Mother!
"Come," she beckons. My tail, and the other pup's tails, wag enthusiastically. "Outside?" Swift asks, for all of us. "Come, come outside." Said Mother. I flinch backwards as Sharp throws dust in my face, and Pounce tackles Swift in an attempt to leave before him. He refuses, and they leave together, the roof of the den raining dirt on me and Wag. I back off even more, letting her brave the majority of the dust, before I silently pad outside, and am sniffed by my kin. I recognize their scents from Mother's pelt, Song, the hunter with a golden pelt similar to mine, and the pup-watcher Growl, who's hind leg is scarred. I watch as Swift tastes the ground, he's all wag. Maybe I should try. I lick the ground: salt, iron, ash. Home.
Father is tall. Very tall. His scent-mark claims the den, and unimaginable land beyond. I shiver. He is giant, ten times bigger than Sharp. And silent. I should go to him and share smells like I did with the others, but I wait. I want to see my siblings do it, first. Sharp, for once, is faster than Swift, his tail raised proudly, but he slowly loses his demeaner, ducking his head and slowing to a crawl. Father sniffs, once, twice, then growls and nudges him away. Sharp turns to us and snaps angrily, making sure we know He will be first to smell-share with Father. I duck behind Swift, and he makes himself look bigger to hide me.
Wag's tail droops, slightly disappointed. Pounce disagrees with Sharp, and wrestles him to prove She will be first. Swift turns his attention to Father. He is first. I know he is. Wag taps the ashy dirt with her tail, watching Sharp and Pounce enthusiastically. I watch as Swift leaves me behind, his tail falling and his nose drooping. Father looks down, tenderness in his eyes. "Son," Sharp and Pounce stop their fighting to watch Father, and Wag's tail starts moving side to side.
"Mine." Father says, leaning down to smell his pup. Swift sniffs him, and is all wag, yipping and jumping in circles. "Father! Mine!" He exclaims, and I have a sudden want to join him, but before I can, he licks Father's face. A steamy red lump falls out of Father's mouth, and Swift seems to enjoy eating it. I head over and eat by his side, and the other three lick Mother's chin to get her to do the same. Aunt Song nudges the other three to get them to try it. It's not sweet like milk, but it tastes of life. I cannot get enough, my tail makes noises in the wind, and soon I am full. Fuller than I ever have been before. Swift curls up at father's paws, and I worm my way under him, resting my head beneath his chin.
"Elk," Father hums, "Life of the pack."
(End of ch1)