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“Oguri Cap!” Gold Ship smacked a red baton against her hand. “You are now on trial for the terrible theft of Symboli Rudolf’s birthday cake!”
“Huh…?”
Oguri Cap didn’t know why so many umamusume were glaring at her. She had just finished a morning walk and managed to make to Rudolf's birthday party on time. This sure looked like the right place, given all the balloons, the cheerful music playing in the background, and the giant “Happy Birthday Rudolf!!!” sign on the wall. Plus, the room was packed with umamusume, including Rudolf herself lounging on a chair. However, the one thing Oguri was looking forward to the most, the birthday cake, was already eaten! There was a big table in the middle of the room where the cake was clearly supposed to be, but instead there was just a giant plate with a bunch of scraps on it. Thankfully, there were still a few bowls of chopped carrots, and the drinks looked untouched, but the main attraction was still missing! Worst of all, people were accusing her for some reason!
Well, not everyone was accusing her, thankfully. A lot of umamusume looked more confused or concerned than anything else. Rudolf was eating from one of the bowls of carrots. “Is all of this necessary? Also where did you get that baton from?” she asked.
“It’s my Multiversal Justice Golshi Wand, thank you very much!”
Tokai Teio looked like she was about to cry. “Why, Oguri!? We spent so long making that cake!”
“Huh?!” Oguri stepped back.
Rudolf spoke up. “Come on, Teio. I don’t necessarily think it was Ogu-“
“Of course it was her!” spat a redheaded umamusume. “Just look at her!”
“Hold up!” Tamamo Cross ran to Oguri’s side. “I think ya got the wrong idea!”
T.M. Opera O looked aghast at the whole situation. “My, my! How dare you blame the honorable Oguri Cap for this tragedy! Fools, all of you! Perhaps you are the ones with the guilty conscience!”
“Excuse me?!” Teio yelled.
Air Groove ignored everyone else and walked towards Oguri. She wasn’t glaring like the other umamusume, but she was still frowning. She was usually frowning though, so maybe that was a good sign. “Settle down, everyone,” she said. “Oguri Cap, when we brought Rudolf here to celebrate her birthday, the cake had already been eaten! Now, I am not accusing you, but I do find it suspicious that you were missing until now, and you came back with an…expanded waistline.”
Oguri looked down at her belly. Now that she thought about it, she supposed it was a bit round. She couldn’t even see her own feet. Was this why everyone was suspecting her? She thought they were used to seeing her like this. “I just took a morning walk. I really needed to get my legs moving, and I ate some yummy carrots as a snack. They were really fresh and crunchy…”
“Carrots?!” A blonde uma exclaimed. “You’re telling us you stuffed your gut with carrots?!”
“Aha!” A black haired uma jumped. “There were carrots on the cake! Further proof it was her!”
“Oh, there were?” Oguri brightened up at the thought. “That sounds delicious!”
Tamamo nudged Oguri. “Not helpin’ your case…” She looked back at the accusers. “Don’t any of ya know Oguri Cap?! If anyone were to make a full-course meal outta carrots, it’s her! She doesn’t have’ta steal a cake to look like that!”
“That’s very true,” Rudolf said.
“It was just a snack though...” Oguri's ear twitched. “Also, is it just me or is something wrong with the music? It sounds weird.”
“Are you changing the topic?!” The blonde said.
“No, but it’s very distracting.”
“Look,” Tamamo butted in. “I know Oguri was on that walk, ‘cause she got lost again! She called me to give her directions! I woulda gone out there 'n dragged her back myself, but I was busy…”
“So you didn’t actually see her,” Teio retorted. “She could’ve called you while she was eating all the cake!”
“Oguri ain’t that sly! And she never steals other people’s food!”
More umamusume, like Super Creek and Inari One, squeezed themselves through the crowd and moved to Oguri. Creek patted Oguri’s head. “Oguri might have a big appetite, but she’s not a thief! She’s a good girl, right Oguri?”
“Yeah. Wait, why are you patting my head?”
Opera nodded. “Yes! Yes! If Oguri was the vile thief you accuse her of being, would we not all have starved to death eons ago? But we live, because Oguri is honorable and generous!”
Inari spoke up. “The prima donna’s right! One time I was upset, and Oguri gave me fifty packs of carrot chips ‘cause she thinks that’s a normal amount! She’s super generous!”
Gold Ship clapped. “Umazing arguments!”
“Yeah, but she’s stupid!” The blonde said. “She could’ve heard that the cake was for everyone, and misunderstood that to mean she was allowed to gobble the whole thing up!”
“Oh, that’s a good point too!” Gold Ship said
“Who’s side are ya on?!” Tamamo asked. “Anyways, if she misunderstood how sharin’ birthday cakes worked, then why would she ALSO lie to me ‘bout where she was!? It’s one or the other! And again, Oguri ain’t that sly! Heck, if Oguri did steal the cake, why’re there still scraps?!”
Air Groove sighed. “I admit you have a point. It would be very out of character for Oguri. But if it wasn’t her, then who could it have been?”
“It’s not like us umamusume are known for our small tummies,” Creek said. “It could’ve been any of us! A poor, hungry umamusume…desperately eating Rudolf’s cake…if only they came to me instead…” She sniffled. “I would’ve fed them…loved them…and patted their cute little head...but now they’re hiding in shame…and crying in the bathroom…” She wiped her glistening eyes.
Air Groove’s jaw hung open. “…what?”
“You may have a point, Super Freak,” the redhead interjected. “But Oguri’s the only one with a turbo gut right now.”
“I told you! I was eating carrots!”
“Likely story…”
“Guys!” Nice Nature stepped up. “Instead of throwing around baseless accusations, maybe, I don’t know, look for evidence?! Because if you bother to look at the cake, the bite marks don’t fit Oguri’s mouth!”
Everyone froze.
Rudolf smirked. “Nice, Nature!”
“Pfft…um, anyways, they don’t even fit any of our mouths! These are tiny!”
All of Oguri’s accusers were turning red. “U-um, well if she was nibbling-“
“SINCE WHEN DOES OGURI NIBBLE?!” Tamamo snapped.
Air Groove, fully red, examined the cake herself. “…You are right. There is absolutely no way this was her. I apologize for all the trouble, Oguri.”
“It’s ok!”
“Is it?!” Tamamo asked.
Air Groove looked at the accusers. “It’s not just me who should apologize! All of you! Apologize to Oguri!”
“Sorry Oguri.”
“Sorry!”
“Sorry…”
Teio was even redder than Air Groove. She frantically bowed. “I’m so, so, so sorry, Oguri! I’ll make it up to you! I’ll pay for your next meal!”
“Please don’t do that,” Rudolf said.
“It’s ok everyone!” Oguri said. “I know you were all just disappointed to see the food disappear. I’m sad too! So much delicious cake…”
“Still…” Rudolf mused. “I wonder who could leave such tiny bite marks?”
Gold Ship chimed in. “Oh, maybe it was the rats!”
Everyone froze again.
Their heads turned towards Gold Ship.
"...what rats?" Air Groove asked.
"The rats living in the vents!"
“…Gold Ship." Air Groove took a deep breath. "What are you talking about?"
Gold Ship pointed at one of the vents in the ceiling. Everyone’s head swung up, and they could now make out the shadows of some very fat rats scurrying behind the grate.
"Gah!" Inari yelped. "How long have they been there?!"
“I noticed them while everyone was arguing!”
"AND YOU SAID NOTHING?!" Air Groove screamed.
"I was waiting for someone else to notice!"
“Oh, those were the weird sounds!” Oguri said. “The music player wasn’t broken after all!”
"Ah..." Rudolf said. "That explains everything. I guess we should call an exterminator."
"Oi!" Gold Ship crossed her arms. "Do we have to?! They’re so cute!”
"Sorry, no pets on campus. You already ratted them out!”
"AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!” everyone but Nature groaned.