Chapter Text
“My dear Rook, if you are tired, please feel free to retire. I assure you I will be on my best behavior until my cousin returns.” Illario told the Grey Warden who had just stifled a yawn.
Nadarevas eyed Illario skeptically but didn’t reply, and instead just resumed their vigil. Illario rolled his eyes and sighed just a little bit dramatically, looking more like an angsty youth than a seasoned assassin for a moment. He’d been in Viago’s custody for a decent amount of time, earning his chance at being allowed back into the active ranks of the Crows. If Nadarevas had their way, he’d still be in a cell, but both Lucanis and Matteo had explained that from the perspective of a Crow, what Illario had done was something that did not make him irredeemable in their eyes.
”Your cousin tries to have you killed, not just once, but twice, and you’re proud of him?” Nadarevas had asked in disbelief, as they braced their hands on the dining table and stared across it at the pair of Crows who seemed much too casual about Illario’s misdeeds.
“Rook, you have to understand—” Lucanis had started to say.
But Rev had made a sound of exasperation and shook their head, cutting him off, before they told him, “I don’t understand, that’s the thing, Lucanis.”
“Rook. Shut up for a minute and listen.” Matteo had ordered, silencing the Warden and Lucanis but also earning raised eyebrows at her audacity. Matteo didn’t acknowledge the expressions of the others, and instead had launched into a lengthy lecture about Crow politics, unspoken rules, hierarchy, and history, with a seriousness that was so out of the norm for her that the others didn’t dare interrupt. Once it was done, Lucanis had looked impressed, while Nadarevas had looked thoughtful and stormy as they started pacing back and forth.
“Birdie, I am impressed. Viago would be proud to know you’ve been such a good student.” Lucanis had told Matteo with a look of approval that made her face flush for just a moment.
Matteo almost smiled and then quickly sobered and pointed a knife in his direction as she replied, “Don’t you dare tell him. He’ll be insufferable if he finds out I’ve been paying attention. He’ll make me start sitting in on his meetings, which are boring. Ugh. I will stab you in the bits if you rat me out, Luca.”
Lucanis had laughed, and Nadarevas had watched the pair of them with a resigned sort of amusement, because in that moment they’d realized they would never fully understand how either of them could be so casual about these things… At least not to this degree, as the Grey Wardens weren’t exactly normal either.
“Fine. I get it. He’s your cousin, and it’s your choice.” Nadarevas had informed Lucanis, as they came to a stop. Lucanis had smiled, and he and Matteo had immediately started planning his cousin’s rehabilitation. Once the plan was finalized it was enacted, just a couple of weeks before the Veilguard and Rook had gone to Tearstone Island.
“I know you’re a mage, but I do not think my back will actually light on fire from the intensity of your glaring.” Illario said with dry amusement, after another twenty minutes had passed by.
“If I wanted you engulfed in flames, you’d be on fire already.” Nadarevas said in reply, their words quiet but full of weight that made it clear they were not exaggerating.
Illario sighed, and then turned to face the Warden, who was mostly hidden by the shadows of the rooftops that surrounded them.
“I would apologize again, if I thought it would do any good. I let the allure of power get to my head, and made choices that were wrong. Most of all I underestimated my cousin, but I can promise you that will not happen again.” Illario told them, his words just loud enough for them to hear but not enough to give their position away.
Nadarevas bit back a scoff, and took a deep breath before they replied, “If that was supposed to be reassuring, it wasn’t.”
Illario had to bring a hand to his mouth to stifle a laugh, earning him another look of tired annoyance from the Warden. But before either of them could continue their conversation a ruckus broke out below them.
Nadarevas leapt into action, their weapons in their hands in an instant as they glanced below and then hurled themself off the roof. Illario hesitated for just a moment, bracing himself for a cry of pain, but then he saw the Warden land and channel their momentum into a roll, that they sprang out of to punch an enemy in the groin with brutal efficiency. By the time he was on the ground Nadarevas had taken out almost every enemy on their own, leaving him with just a couple of stragglers.
“Duck!” Nadarevas yelled. But Illario hesitated. Thus a heavy shield struck him in the back and sent him flying.
Nadarevas yelled a battle cry and charged, taking Illario’s assailant by surprise. Effectively stopping them from trying to finish off the stunned assassin who was attempting to get back on his feet. Nadarevas grinned like a fiend as they let their pent up frustrations fuel their relentless attack against this mountain of a warrior. It only took a couple of minutes to finish them off, without even needing to use any of their magic, their blades and body getting to job done on their own just fine. The body crashed to the ground, and Nadarevas was already on the move towards the entrance the enemies had exploded from when they heard the short burst of whistles they’d been waiting for.
Nadarevas spun and moved over to offer Illario a hand as he got back onto his feet at last, hiding badly how much pain he was in.
“You go ahead, I’ll catch up.” Illario told them through gritted teeth.
Nadarevas made a sound that reminded him of something from his childhood, a sound that told him they didn’t agree and he would be doing what they wanted instead. Nadarevas sheathed one of their blades and then dropped a shoulder and threw the injured man over their shoulder, without even really breaking their stride. Illario choked back a gasp of pain from the impact, and almost started cursing at them but then they started running.
By the time they were back at the rendezvous, Illario was unable to speak from all the pain he was in, as his mind whirled from the realization that not only had Nadarevas carried him at a run this whole way without issue, but that they weren’t even out of breath as they set him down and stepped away.
“What happened?” Lucanis asked Nadarevas worriedly, as he stepped over to Illario and began inspecting his cousin worriedly.
Nadarevas pushed back the hood of their cloak and replied, "Shield bash to the back, because he didn’t listen to me.”
Lucanis stared at Illario with a resigned sort of affection, “Will you ever learn, you idiot?”
Illario opened his mouth to object, but Lucanis poked his rib and instead he ended up just gasping for air as his vision swam. All his focus became needed for resisting the urge to vomit or pass out, as the others quickly discussed next steps. Once that was done, Viago and the other Crows left with what they’d come for, leaving Illario alone with Nadarevas and Lucanis.
“Should I just pick him up again?” Nadarevas asked Lucanis, as they tipped their head in Illario’s direction.
“Gah! No. I can walk.” Illario quickly blurted out before Lucanis could say anything.
Lucanis raised a skeptical eyebrow, but didn’t argue, and instead turned his attention back to the Warden.
“Since that will slow us down, you can run ahead and ask the front desk to send a healer to our suite.” Lucanis suggested as he moved closer to Nadarevas and stared into their eyes with such obvious affection that it was more than a little embarrassing for Illario to watch.
“Nice try, wyvern-boy, but you’ll be the one running ahead. If Illario passes out from any internal bleeding, I’m the better choice for picking him up and getting him back to the hotel.” They countered, as they smiled back at Lucanis.
“Nadarevas…” Lucanis said, almost as a sigh, as he studied their face.
“I’m fine, and I’m right, and you know it.” Nadarevas told him, hesitating for a moment as if they could hear someone else talking.
Lucanis made a grumbling sound but finally nodded after whatever thing only he and Nadarevas could hear was said. The pair shared a quick kiss, and then Lucanis gave Illario an unspoken look of warning before departing. Nadarevas watched him go and then turned their attention back to Illario and leveled an expectant look his way. His mouth opened to say something, but then he seemed to think better of it, and instead let it close as he got himself moving.
The odd pair walked mostly in silence, with the Warden keeping a close eye on their surroundings, while the Crow did his best to just keep moving and not give in to his increasingly debilitating level of pain. Every now and then, Rook would pause and stare into the shadows in a way that was deeply unsettling, but then they’d motion for Illario to keep moving, so he did. The sun was starting to rise by the time they’d made it to the street their hotel was on. Illario slipped and had to take a moment to recover. As he caught his breath, he was acutely aware that it was obvious the Warden felt quite impatient with how slow they had been moving.
“You Dellamorte’s and your pride. If you’d just let me carry you, we could have been back half an hour ago, and you’d already be in the care of a healer.” Nadarevas grumbled under their breath, as they scanned their surroundings carefully one more time.
“Are you always this bossy?” Illario managed to ask without sounding too breathless.
Nadarevas snorted in response and then started walking, effectively stopping Illario from talking the rest of the way, as he needed all his attention in order to stay on his feet. They were nearly there when there was a flutter of wings, and suddenly Lucanis was there, looking tired and annoyed.
“We’re compromised?” Nadarevas asked him matter of factly, apparently unbothered by a winged assassin dropping out of the dawn sky without notice.
Lucanis nodded, “We are, but it’s been dealt with. We need a new place to take care of Illario.”
Nadarevas looked thoughtful for a moment, handed Illario a potion bottle, and then turned on their heel and slipped down a nearby alleyway, leaving the cousins behind without looking back. Lucanis gave Illario an assessing look but stayed quiet, his eyes sharp as he watched for any signs of more trouble. Illario regarded the potion bottle for a moment and then drank it, a sound of disgust slipping free as the aftertaste hit his senses.
“Better?” Lucanis asked after a minute had passed, his eyes sweeping over Illario in a way that made i clear he was assessing his cousin’s condition.
Illario nodded, and let the silence between them stretch, before finally giving in to his urge to fill it.
“So when’s the wedding?” He asked, with a hint of a knowing smile on his face.
Lucanis hesitated for just a moment, before he glared at Illario, and said, “When did you find out?”
“Just now. Maker, you’re hopeless, cousin! Hahaha– Ow. Mierda.” Illario replied, ending by holding an arm against his chest as he tried to calm the muscle spasm in his ribs that his merriment had triggered.
“Hopeless couldn’t be any further from the truth, you idiot.” Lucanis countered, as something akin to pity and disapproval mingled in his eyes when he stared at Illario.
Illario sobered quickly, and let his usual mask slip as he studied Lucanis intently, taking in every detail he could. Lucanis just stared at him with patient tolerance, as if he was humoring a child, without saying a word.
“You look… comfortable in your own skin… You really are different from the Lucanis I knew.” Illario quietly said, with a hint of wonder mixed with sorrow.
“I am, and I am not. It’s easier to be comfortable with myself when I have found family who values who I am, not just who they want me to be.” Lucanis told him, with words that held a heaviness born from truth.
“Being First Talon suits you then…” Illario commented, managing to keep almost all of the bitterness out of his words.
Lucanis gave him a tired look and a slight shake of his head, before he said, “It’s not that. It was never that. Illario, actually use your head for once, and think. Not everything has to be about power or having control. There is value in connection, and comfort, and the sooner you learn that, the better off you’ll be.”
Illario didn’t reply, but his eyes did drop to his feet, and suddenly Lucanis was transported back to their childhood. The pair of them scrawny and awkward, having escaped their tutor to run to the market, where they’d almost crashed into their grandmother.
“Do you remember the day we escaped Master Elio?” Lucanis asked Illario quietly.
Illario looked up and nodded, a hint of a smile on his face as he recalled that day, “Yes. I’d been so certain she was about to punish us with her cane in front of everyone… But instead she’d called us clever and kissed our heads. She even bought us sweets…”
“Caterina had been unexpectedly kind, and we ended up having the best afternoon with her. She let us have coffee with her, and bought you that tie you’d been coveting for a month.” Lucanis added, a soft smile of recollection lighting up his normally serious features.
“A rare day, that almost feels like a dream to me… We had gotten to just be boys, enjoying time out with their abuela.” Illario mused, half to himself, as he recalled that half-buried memory from his childhood.
“The relationships I have now, they have lots of moments like that. Kindness freely given for the sake of friendship, without the expectation of anything in return. I am richer now than I could have ever dreamed, in ways that make me feel whole.” Lucanis told his cousin, never taking his eyes off of him.
Illario squirmed under the intensity of his cousin’s regard and sincerity. Lucanis seemed to note this and just sighed, before turning his attention back to being a lookout, taking the pressure off of his cousin. Minutes slipped by, and then Illario cleared his throat.
“Congratulations, Lucanis, on your embarrassment of riches. But I don’t know what you’re getting at.” Illario said, a bit bitterly.
“He’s trying to tell you that you’re worth loving, you idiot. I swear, the Dellamorte family must be allergic to healthy emotional communication.” Nadarevas informed Illario as they popped their head out of a nearby doorway.
“Bold of you to assume we even know what that is.” Illario quipped back, looking a bit grumpy because the Warden had caught him by surprise.
Nadarevas snorted and then motioned for the others to follow them. Lucanis grinned, and Illario sighed, but they both fell in behind the Warden.
Ten minutes later they were safely stashed in a warm but small house, where Illario was tended to by a dwarven woman and her elven partner, who worked with brusque but effective skill. Once their work was done, they left the odd trio alone with bowls of stew and orders to stay the night.
“And no arguing, Thorne, or else you’ll get us both in trouble with my stubborn pain of a cousin.” She’d ordered, earning a nod of acknowledgement from the Warden before she closed the door behind her and left them in peace.
Lucanis gave Nadarevas a questioning glance. They finished eating a bite of their stew before they just said, “Trout” as explanation. Lucanis nodded, and ate a bit more of his stew, before he started setting up a kettle of water over the fire so he could make himself some coffee. Nadarevas set up cups with linen filter bags stretched over the tops, after they finished their soup, so Lucanis could put ground coffee and hot water in each once it was ready. Illario watched them move about the small room with a comfortable ease that was both fascinating and slightly unsettling to observe.
Once the coffee was made, Lucanis visibly relaxed in a way that brought a warm smile to Nadarevas’ face. Illario sipped at his own coffee carefully, eyeing the pair like they were some sort of exotic animals on display, mesmerizing but alien. He couldn’t take his eyes off of them as they had a quiet conversation that seemed so out of place considering why they were here, or that Illario was sitting across from them, bandaged and stitched up, next to a bowl full of bloody rags. They were so comfortable with each other. There was no pretense or anything other than genuine connection.
It was weird.
It was unfamiliar.
It made his chest hurt, and made something inside him feel tight and raw.
“Illario, are you alright? Do you need another potion?” Lucanis asked him worriedly, pausing his conversation with Nadarevas as soon as he noticed his cousin looking deeply uncomfortable.
Illario had expected to feel his usual surge of annoyance in response to Lucanis’ unasked for mothering, but it didn’t happen this time. Instead something in his gut clenched and he found himself just giving a wordless shake of his head in response, rather than uttering a snide remark. There was a moment of tense silence, and then Lucanis blinked and let it go. Nadarevas gave Illario a look of cautious surprise, and then resumed their conversation with his cousin.
Spite huffed, and leaned over Illario, studying him intently, because he’d done that thing mortals seemed to struggle with constantly. The spirit had been getting such conflicting emotions off the mortal until now, and had told Lucanis and Nadarevas as much back in the alley. But now? Now he smelled like Lucanis used to, but a little different.
“Bah. Longing and regret. Scared to dream.” Spite muttered, as he stood over the younger Dellamorte.
Illario felt a chill run up his spine, and carefully looked around the room, searching for what caused him to feel like he was being studied. But he saw nothing out of the ordinary. He was tired. Exhaustion pulled at him, despite the caffeine from the coffee, and his wounds ached. He’d feel better once he got some sleep, probably. Maybe.