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Dustin Henderson, nineteen going to twenty this year, an undergraduate at MIT’s physics department and on a full scholarship thinks he’s got everything figured out about himself- or at least some of it.
In a few years, he’d like to have finished his first degree and maybe take the road down to astrophysics. He isn’t sure if he wants to get a PhD, but he dreams about NASA since his days in camp «Know where».
Those are the paths that he expects his life going down from now on. What he didn’t expect is her showing up at his doorstep or maybe him showing up at hers or-
Well, things are complicated.
-
In the past, heck even in today's time, you could say that Dustin fell into the known category of nerds. Apart from his weird smile and crooked teeth- that had them fixed after seven long and agonizing years, thank you very much-he had been bullied for his impressive, yes impressive head, his small size, for hanging out with outcasts and for playing a nerdish game with the said outcasts.
But he always chose to see the positive side of things, even when he was beaten so badly his nose almost cracked.
So being a nerd didn’t actually give him many chances with girls. And sure, he liked girls, he knew that for a fact. He wasn’t like his friend, Will, who saw them as friends and mothers and sisters and nieces and everything apart from a romantic partner.
Proof was his small and childish crush on Mike’s sister, Nancy. Of course she never reciprocated his feelings but she did come save him from the embarrassing winter dance back in middle school.
And as they swayed in the slow rhythm of some stupid blues song, she whispered above him give them a couple of years with the sweetest smile.
-
It was summertime, 1985 when he met Suzie and it might have been the first time that he felt seen.
Suzie was smart. Give her a computer and she could crack anything in mere seconds.
He admired her feisty spirit and how that didn’t seem to shallow up her good heart.
Maybe that’s what falling in love feels like, he had thought. He was familiar with how it felt having a crush, feeling fuzzy and warm and kinda uncomfortable but also so giddy in Max's presence before her and Lucas became a thing.
But their separation was inventable, as camp period ended and he went back to gloomy and boring and stupid Hawkings and she returned to sunny Cali.
“Don’t you worry Dusty-Buns, we are gonna keep in touch! Ain’t no way I'm losing you.” she had said comfortably to him as they parted ways. And he smiled at that thought. And every single night he walked as high as he could up a nearby cliff and tried to find the right radio frequency so they could chat and hear each other's voices and share how their days went on under the burning sun.
And it was nice for a while, comforting even.
Sadly, this isn’t how a relationship works.
By the end of the year they’ve broken up, with Suzie’s tears making her words difficult to make out.
(Though the part about a boy in her chem class having the most beautiful eyes ever wasn’t missed by him.)
It would be alright, he said to himself.
It would be alright.
-
After Christmas break, he asked Steve why he and Nancy broke up.
They were in his car, Steve had just gotten off from work. Robin said she would miss tonight's movie night as she was going out with a friend or something. If it wasn’t so convenient for Dustin, he would have wondered what friend she was talking about. The only people she talked to were Steve and that red-head senior from the schoolband.
Steve slowed down to the red light. He sat there for a few moments, considering what was the best way to put thoughts into words, as he wasn’t the best at that.
“I think it was miscommunication. After Barb’s death, lets say I wasn't the best. I was selfish and I had these pricks for friends getting into my head and letting them into my head. Thought I had to maintain my «king of Hawkings High» persona when I knew that wasn’t me. Nancy was in a bad place too, she didn’t have anyone to talk to, I wasn't listening.”
They didn’t speak during the whole ride after that, nor did they after they finished the movie back at Dustin’s house. Around half past one, before Steve left he said to him:
“Relationships are…well they are complicated.”
“I thought love was easy.”
He chuckles. “Me too kid, me too.”
-
It’s January 1986 and everything is back to normal. He hangs out with his friends and laughs and jokes around in the cafeteria after winter holidays, his appetite is back to its good all two plates of past bolognese and every friday night they play D&D in a tiny room as an after school club while everyone is roaming in the gymnasium, happily shouting and encouraging their team.
Lucas is still trying to get back to Mike's good graces while Eddie had allowed him to come and play with them if he ever got bored with the manly jocks.
And he is convinced that everything is back to normal and everything is good and-
“Hellfire is canceled for today boys.” said Gaereth as he sat down.
“What, why ?” asked Mike anxiously.
“His highness is sick.” and the matter was dissolved, but not for him.
He hadn’t seen Eddie this morning, which was kinda weird as they always met by his locker. He shouldn’t worry, he had said to himself, maybe he is in the woods doing, well doing deals. A hustle of his friends that he didn’t approve of.
After lunch, he asked Gareth if he saw him earlier today.
“Came for the first two periods, then went to the nurses office. Left with a stomach ache after that.”
And there he was, the boy who always commented on his mum worrying too much about him, worrying for his best friend's health like he birthed him moments ago.
He was biking up to the trailer park, his lights on as a dark shade of blue had taken over the sky and was slowly turning into pitch dark. It was quite cold, but the frosty air was hitting his face pleasantly, making him feel more alive.
When he finally arrived, he saw the lights come from the trailer and shadows moving. He checked his watch, mister Wayne had surely left by now for his shift.
Dustin stepped closer, he heard laughter coming from inside. He approached the window and stood in his tip-toes full of curiosity, only to witness a mess of blonde curls moving with a hand tangled as the owner of the hand was coming to cover her neck with his own messed up brown long curls and lips and skin tons of naked skin-
Dustin dipped down, his heart was ringing in his ears and he felt his face hot. As for his legs, he wasn’t sure he could move them.
Breath Dustin, just breath-
“Get over here you weirdo!” a familiar called him.
Dustin ran towards the red-heads trailer without question.
-
“I thought he was sick.” he said defensively.
“And I thought you were smarter than that.” Max bit back.
They sat in the trailer's small living room, steam coming out of the cup of tea she was holding with both of her hands.
“Isn’t she with Carver ?”
“She is.”
“Then what is this ?” he asks, his tone a bit more aggressive than he meant it to be.
She takes a deep breath.
“Not my place to say Dustin. Things sometimes are, complicated.”
“Are things complicated with you and Lucas too ?”
“Not your place to say, Dustin.” Max answers back coldly.
-
He starts noticing, after the incident that is.
He sees the searching eyes, the longing looks, the cafeteria shows that Eddie puts up being a little too extravagant, even for him. He notes the small smiles, the eagerness to leave the room, or to pass from a certain hallway. He spots the long periods of missing, of hiding, the marks in Eddie's chest, just above his shirt.
And when he had enough of it, he decides to skip fifth period on a Wednesday. He checks both of their classrooms, english and physics, to find both of their seats empty. He goes out in the woods behind the school, in hopes of finding them in decency.
In his surprise, he becomes a martyr of a moment so pure, he feels ashamed to interrupt. So he waits silently while listening to their promises of love and care. A part of him, the one that moved away with his mom at the age of nine living his father and their old life back forever, tells him that they are not gonna last, that they are foolish and under the impression of staying young forever. Another part of him, the one that cares about everyone and everything feels the injustice of complicated burning in his core cause none of this is complicated. Cause Chrissy definitely doesn’t love her boyfriend and wants to be with Eddie and Eddie wants to be with her and Dustin wants to see both of them happy, truly happy and smiling with their real smiles, the smiles that are so wide they have to keep between them or someone might notice them.
“How long have you been standing there ?” the voice asks in a low volume.
He makes sure that the cheerleader has left and that she is far away and wouldn’t listen to them.
“Long enough to know that both of you are idiots.”
“Henderson…” his name a pleading whisper.
“Just be together! Nothing is stopping you besides yourselves.” Dustin says, his arms moving frustrated to make a point.
“Bud, its-”
“Complicated, yes I know.”
-
In May, Max gets into a car accident. The doctors aren’t so hopeful.
Lucas visits her everyday at the hospital, holding her hand in his and cries.
We were about to get back together.
-
At sixteen, Will comes out to them. Dustin smiles so hard that his cheeks are hurting and he hugs him as tightly as he can as every single member of the party comes for a hug- except Max who is still in a wheelchair.
And maybe, things sometimes are complicated because we make them complicated.
(He has to ask Robin what that Tammy part meant-they have been hanging around a lot lately.)
-
Valedictorian of ‘89 Class.
He worked his ass off, as promised to Eddie, and gave a heck of a speech that might have sent principal Huggins into a cardiac attack.
Most pictures at the graduation ground were blurry as Robin's eyes were as teary as Steves until Jonathan came to the rescue.
He puts both of them in a box to save them from when he moves to his dorm, the one with the whole party and the other with his family-his mom, Steve and Robin.
-
His summer fling with Stacey Albright started at her part after their graduation and was finished by the time she left for College out state.
Some things are meant to be complicated, Dustin thinks the first time they sleep together.
-
Being an undergraduate student in MIT’s physics department is, in reality, having a love-hate relationship with yourself. Because sometimes he hates himself for the torture he endures and other times he loves his life as torturous as it may be.
At his first first year, apart from trying to figure out life on his own and how the fuck is he exactly going to pass his finals, he meets new friends in the most complicated way.
And he starts being the center of attention in their small friend group which contains tennis scholarship Dave, Sociology student Andrea, little fingers Scott, talking-your-ear-off Kelly and even his weird roommate Han.
Not being an outcast doesn’t seem complicated anymore.
-
He gets it, he finally does. Complicated.
Everything around the presence of Piper Ackerley is complicated.
They met at a bar nearby school grounds. Dave tried to hit on her, douchebag-mommy and daddies money type of guy who wanted to show off about that one-and only-book that he has read on socialism and its beliefs and how it could change the rooted imperialism-turned capitalism of the US.
Thank god Andrea loves to analyse Globalisation and how it has started since the renaissance.
The asshole leaves, his tale tucked between his legs, and two blue eyes look at him in a way, a complicated one.
They chatted for a long time, but to him, it only seemed like minutes.
She’s about to leave, wrapping her blue scarf around her face as he follows her like the gentleman he is.
“When are you going to ask for my number ?” her tone is playful, he can tell.
“Didn’t know I was supposed to.”
A beat and then she hits him in the chest, hard enough for him to crouch a bit. He can’t stop himself from laughing.
“You are an arshole Dustin Henderson. I like you.”
Later that night he sees that prick from earlier sitting inside another bar. He smiles smugly as he waves the napkin with a phone number written on it.
-
He doesn’t call her immediately, and he hates himself for that.
Every now and then, Steve comes by with his trailer and they do this roadtrip where they catch up. Henderson had everything packed, except the napkin.
-
A week has passed, yet he doesn’t dare to call. Every time he is tempted to, his throat closes and cold sweat spreads in his back instantly.
He wants to hit his head on the wall. Why do I do that, he wonders.
Instead of phoning her, he goes to fetch his mail. Two letters and a postcard, the one from his mother, the other from mister Clarke and the postcard from two dear friends.
Miami is written with bright pink and blue colours as some corals are drawn there as well. He flips it to see what's written.
Dear Dusty,
We just got hitched!
We await for our wedding gift by Thanksgiving weekend.
Love, M+L
And suddenly, everything starts to make sense. From his parent’s divorce to his crushes and relationships and flings and everything, everything falls into place cause Lucas and Max were always meant to be, even if there were complications, and him and Suzie were miscommunication just like Steve and Nancy, and him and Stacey were never meant to be in the first place just like his parents, and now he hopes as he runs, he hopes that him and Piper won’t put any obstacles like Eddie and Chrissy did back in the day and they will be no complication, they’ll just be together.
That night, he goes on knocking every single dorm door until he finds hers.
And when she opens the door wearing her baby lilac pyjamas, her hair in rollers, some sort of green cream spread all over her face and toothbrush in her mouth, there is nothing complicated anymore.