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It started as a typical morning at Montmart.
Victor was in the kitchen, furiously preparing for the inevitable breakfast rush set to start any moment now. Paulette was gracefully gliding around the bistro, passing out food to the Arkride Solution members that were already present. Maxim was doing his best to entertain Yumé as always. Risette and Judith were at the counter, sharing a cup of coffee. Aaron, Quatre, and Feri were at a table, dueling over pancakes. Lastly, Swin and Nadia were at the table adjacent, Swin trying to make heads or tails at…whatever Nadia was saying. Just a normal, peaceful start to the day.
So why did things feel slightly off?
“Ms. Lanster?” Risette queried. “Are you feeling alright?”
“H-huh? Oh sorry Risette. Yeah, I’m fine.” Judith tried to play things off, but Risette was sharper than that.
“Did something happen during your…moonlighting?”
“Nooooo…well, not during. It’s just after, I thought I saw…something.”
Risette raised an eyebrow. “What kind of something?”
“O-Oh, I don’t think it’s my place to say. In fact I was probably just hallucinating it!”
The concierge noticed that Judith’s eyes seemed to be shifting around the bistro, trying to find a certain missing member.
The front doors swung open, and Agnès came strolling in, accompanied by Renne. “Good morning everyone!”
“Ah, Agnès and Renne, welcome!” Paulette gestured to the open spots next to Judith and Risette. “Take a seat, I’ve got tea ready for you.”
“That’d be much appreciated.” Renne said, taking her seat and engaging Risette in conversation, unintentionally freeing Judith from her friend’s curious stares.
Agnès took the seat beside Renne and looked around the Bistro. “Is Van still not up yet?”
“Old fart’s probably letting his age catch up to him and needs the extra beauty sleep.” Aaron called out.
“You know how he is.” Paulette added. “It’s 50/50 on whether he’s up and about around this time. Though I’m sure any second now we’ll hear Van coming down the stairs.”
Just then, a familiar voice cried out into the morning air.
“I’M SORRY!”
“...Or we’ll hear Van scream out an apology?” Paulette said with wide eyes.
Everyone rushed out of the bistro to where Van was. He was just outside, in front of the garage. The garage door was open, and Van was kneeling in front of his car, his head down in deep apology.
“I’m so, so sorry. I can’t believe I wronged you like that!”
Everyone else could only stare at Van in confusion.
Across the street at Melrose Kiosk, Gin called out, “Why’s he screaming like that this early in the morning!?”
“We’ll figure it out, don’t worry!” Agnès called back. She then turned back to Van. “Hey Van? Are you…apologizing to your car?”
“Did he dent it or something?” Aaron asked. “I knew his old ass would scratch his baby one day.”
“I don’t see anything wrong with the car at first glance though…” Quatre noted. “Did you scratch it, Van?”
Van ignored his employees comments, still profusely apologizing. “I promise, it’ll never-...I’ll do my best to stop it from ever happening again!”
“Aww, Van must’ve really hurt his car…” Yumé grew increasingly concerned seeing Van oddly in extreme emotional pain like that. She tugged on Maxim’s sleeve. “Maxim, can you figure out what’s wrong?”
“Uh, sure! Shouldn’t be too hard to figure out.” Maxim walked forward, ignoring the still apologizing Van on the ground. “Let’s see…I’m not seeing any dents on the side.” He carefully went around. “Nothing in the back either.” Even with Maxim’s keen eye for cars, he still wasn’t coming up with anything. After a few more seconds of searching, Maxim returned to the group. “Well, I’m not seeing anything dented or scratched…but…”
“But what?” Paulette asked.
“Something seems…off with his ride. I have the feeling I know what it is, but I just can’t place my finger on it…”
Like most times when someone was in distress, a couple of bracers showed up on the scene.
“Mornin’ everyone.” Zin greeted.
“What’s everyone gathered outside for?” Fie asked. “And why’s Van…like that?”
“Not sure.” Victor answered. “Kid just showed up this morning screaming apologies to his car, and none of us can figure out what in the heck he did to it. Looks like it’s all in one piece to me. Anyway, did you two come by for breakfast?”
“Well, that’d be nice actually, but we came by to see if any of you had heard from Elaine recently.” Zin explained.
“Elaine?” Agnès asked. “Is she missing?”
“I wouldn’t call her missing just yet. We had a job come in late last night. Simple monster extermination, had to take care of it right away and Elaine volunteered. She reported the mission was complete, but she didn’t return to the guild last night, and none of our calls got through this morning.”
“Although…” Fie’s eyes darted to Van, still in a dogeza. “I checked the reported location of the monster. It was near a highway on the outskirts of the city. To get to it, one would need a car. And the most trustworthy person Elaine knows with a car would be…”
“Van?”
A voice called out from the steps. Slowly, Elaine walked down, looking like she had just woken up. It seems that she hadn’t gone home since her mission, as she was still dressed in her usual bracer gear.
With the small exception of her wearing Van’s jacket.
Elaine spotted Van, and gave an alarmingly soft smile. “Hey, what are you doing there? I know you love your car, but I thought we agreed your bed was much more comfortable than-”
It was at that point that Elaine finally processed the about dozen other people outside the bistro, who had all now turned their attention from Van to her, wide-eyed and in some cases, grinning.
“Hoo boy…” Victor remarked, incredibly amused.
“My my, this is certainly a surprise.” Renne teased.
“Not an unwelcome one though.” Fie added.
“I-It’s not like that!” Elaine tried to argue.
“Then do you have a better explanation why you just came out of Gramps’ room wearing his jacket?” Aaron asked.
“I do…it’s just not coming to me at the moment.”
Just when Elaine thought it couldn’t get any worse, Maxim figured out what had happened to Van’s car. Or rather…what happened in Van’s car. “Wait…’more comfortable than’...Arkride…you didn’t...”
It was at that point that Van’s head finally lifted off the ground. He turned to Maxim, his eyes radiating guilt. It was all the confirmation everyone needed as to where Van and Elaine’s…reconciliation had taken place. The Ingert, Van’s pride and joy, was by Van’s own admission, defiled by him and Elaine.
There was a thick silence. Everyone’s eyes darted back and forth between Van, Elaine, and the Ingert. Elaine’s face was burning red, while Van's guilt of sullying his car with Elaine shamefully showed on his face.
And then Aaron’s laughter rang out.
“OH THAT’S HILARIOUS!” He cried out, wiping away tears of laughter. “Sounds like Arkride was giving Beauty’s Blade a couple different rides last night, huh?”
Elaine couldn’t even shoot him a death glare, she was so embarrassed.
“And it’s about damned time too!” Gin called out from the kiosk, finally getting some gosh darned entertainment for her troubles for once.
“...I don’t get it.” Yumé said. “What did Van and Elaine do to his car?”
“I’m not sure, Yumé.” Feri noted. “I’m at a loss too.”
As entertained as Victor was by the whole thing, he needed to quickly step in. “U-Uhh…hey Yumé, I could use your help prepping for breakfast. Could you help too, Feri?”
“Huh? Okay grandpa!” Yumé cheerfully headed back inside the bistro. Feri followed her, still glancing back in confusion to Van and Elaine.
“S-so…ummm…Elaine.” Agnès, face burning, sheepishly began asking. “Did you and Van really…” She stopped, and glanced back at the car.
At this point, Beauty’s Blade had little option but to concede defeat. “...Yes.”
Another round of laughter from Aaron.
“C-Come on, Aaron, you can stop now!” Quatre said, but even as he did, his face was just as red as Agnès’.
“No way! This is too good! Although…” Aaron wiped away a tear. “We don’t need to take a trip out of town anytime soon right? Don’t know if I can handle sitting where Van’s bare a-”
Judith smacked him.
It was all so mortifying for Elaine. And it certainly didn’t help that even more people were showing up unannounced to this little party.
“Yo.” Shizuna greeted casually, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.
“S-Shizuna!?” Agnès exclaimed. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Just got here. I was wandering around and wanted to see what the buzz was about.” Shizuna took a look at Van, Elaine, and the car. Her eyes had a strange glow to them for a moment, and then she slightly squinted, a grin showing on her face.
“Nice.”
“Oh? Caught up already?” Renne asked.
“My Unclouded Eye is very useful.”
“Miss Lanster.” Risette began. “Was Mr. Arkride and Ms. Auclair’s…meeting what you saw last night?”
“N-No!” Judith quickly exclaimed. “At least…not the act itself. On my way back from my…umm…moonlighting, I did see Van walk Elaine to his room. I figured that they either did or were going to…you know, but I definitely did not see anything specific.” She sighed and started muttering under her breath. “After what happened with Rixia and the Princess of Liberl, I very much don’t need to be walking in on something like that again!”
Renne chucked. “I sympathize. As averse as Estelle is to public displays of affection, she certainly doesn’t pick the most private spots to drag Joshua into.”
“You think you have it bad, I’ve got to be extra careful whenever Major Claire is visiting Sara. It’s like they’ve got no mind for secrecy. And don’t get me started on where Rean and Laura tried to have their ‘duels’ back in the day.”
“Oho,” Shizuna mused, “My fellow Divine Blade is hooking up with the Arseid successor? That’s exciting.”
For a moment, Elaine was almost relieved the conversation was shifting from her romantic rendezvous to others’, but her fortune was fleeting.
“Alright Elaine, give us the deets!” Nadia cheered.
“Nadia she doesn’t need to-” Swin tried to say but Nadia cut him off.
“She does need to!” Nadia retorted. “What was the mood like? Was it romantic? Were you both lying on the hood of Van’s car staring at the stars before the beauty of the night sky drove you to tear each other’s clothes off and start doing the Crossbell Cha-Cha? The Remiferia Rumba?”
“Nadia!” Agnès called out.
“Sorry Agnès, I need the sitch. Gotta figure out what works for when Swin and I finally-” Nadia was dragged inside the bistro by a now red Swin. “H-Hey! Swin! I need to knowwwww…”
Nadia and Swin disappeared into the bistro, but everyone’s eyes still looked expectantly for an answer from Elaine. She tried to look to Van for help.
“I’m so sorry, baby.” Van whispered to his car. “I’ll make it right, I promise.”
Van was going to be of no help.
“F-fine” Elaine took a deep breath, trying to figure out how best to explain this series of events. “I had asked Van to drive me to a monster location on the outskirts of the city. Afterwards, he suggested we should spend some time just…relaxing and looking up at the stars, away from the city lights. I agreed, and it was…quite nice. We hadn’t done something like that since we were students. Anyway, we’d inadvertently moved a little closer to one another, and…umm…he was trying to point out a constellation. I couldn’t make it out so he…I guess on instinct…pulled me closer to better guide my gaze to it.”
They could hear Nadia squeal from the inside of the bistro. Elaine wasn’t escaping her that easily.
Elaine sighed before continuing. “We both kind of realized our position and scrambled apart. Van got up to start the car and…I guess I was kind of just sick of waiting for him. So…I might’ve pushed him against the car and…kissed him. It kind of just escalated from there.”
“Oh my…” Paulette said with a small blush of her own. “Well good on you for taking the initiative.”
“Hah! Arkride couldn’t resist you once you actually made a move, huh?” Shizuna said.
“She rizz’d Van up so hard, he folded immediately!” Nadia called out.
“So after that, did you two hit it in the backseat or did you do it on the hood? Or even the roof?” Aaron asked, needing every little detail too.
Elaine didn’t answer, but the fresh wave of embarrassment that washed over her face told the others exactly where they were.
“All three…damn.” Maxim muttered.
“They are so down bad, Swin! Down horrendous even!”
“Nadia, no one knows what that means!”
Shizuna closed her eyes, thinking deeply. “For Arkride to drive back here afterwards and not even register that they did it in his car until this morning…” She slightly opened her eyes, another grin on her face. “Beauty’s Blade must’ve been damn good.”
Elaine tried to find some semblance of mercy, but Aidios saw fit to plunge her into more despair. A car pulled up to the bistro, and the backseat window rolled down to show another familiar face. “Good morning, Zin.” Killika calmly greeted.
“Morning, Killika.” Zin said, approaching the car. “You craving some Montmart?”
“It’d be nice, but we have to be going somewhere. I just stopped because it looks like there's something interesting going on here.”
“Ah, nothing major. Just Van and Elaine were…getting friendly in Van’s car last night.”
A voice came from the driver’s seat.
“Is that so?”
Elaine froze again in fear, and Van’s head shot up to stare at the CID’s vehicle. Just as they feared, as the driver’s window rolled down to reveal Kincade. His eyes were obscured by the glare of his glasses, but both Van and Elaine could tell he was staring at the two of them. And then, he gave a wordless thumbs up and drove off.
“H-hey, René!” Van finally got up from the ground, cursing at the car to no avail. “Don’t give me that, get back here!”
“Alright everyone, I think Van and Elaine have had enough teasing for one morning.” Paulette started ushering everyone back inside the bistro. “Your breakfast is probably getting cold. Zin and Fie, please do join us. You too, Shizuna.”
“Don’t mind if I do!” Shizuna cheered, “Sylphid, you gotta tell me more about my junior Divine Blade and that Arseid girl.”
“Oh have I got stories for you.” Fie said, following her inside, Zin behind her.
Aaron was still laughing as he headed back in, Quatre trying to get him to finally stop. Agnès was still blushing crimson herself as Renne guided her back inside. Judith seemed exhausted with the whole thing, and Risette gently patted her on the shoulder.
Elaine breathed a sigh of relief. For the moment at least, the humiliation was done. She jumped a bit when she felt a hand place itself reassuringly on her shoulder, and looked up to see Paulette with a soft smile on her face.
“I know that probably wasn’t the way you wanted it revealed, but I’m happy for you, Elaine.”
“O-Oh…uhh, thank you, Paulette.” Elaine found herself being able to smile back.
“That said…Arkride?” Maxim approached Van. “You…uhh…how do I put this. As I guess as you guys would say, you had Earth Guard up, right?”
Van was a bit confused. “...Earth Guard?”
“You know…you had the shards activated?”
“Maxim, I don’t know what you’re trying to get at.”
Paulette brought Elaine over and with a disarmingly gentle smile on her face, said in a quiet voice. “He’s asking if you two used protection.”
Van and Elaine immediately jumped back. “O-Of course we did!” Elaine whispered in a panic.
“Why’d you even need to ask that!?” Van added.
“Hey Mommy!” Yumé called out from the entrance. “Grandpa says he needs some help serving food!”
“Be there in a moment Yumé!” Paulette called out, then turned back to Van and Elaine with another gentle smile.
This time, it was Van and Elaine’s turn to glance back and forth between Maxim, Paulette, and Yumé. Their eyes slowly widened as they came to a realization. “Maxim…” Van slowly said, “Was your car where…Yumé was concei-”
“Oh look! More customers! I’ll need to help out Dad.” Paulette quickly headed back inside Montmart. Maxim followed her, only shooting a brief look of guilt back to Van and Elaine that told them everything they needed to know.
“...Well, that was humiliating.” Elaine groaned.
“Tell me about it.” Van replied. He shut the garage door and stared at it for a moment, contemplating. “Hey Elaine, I’m sorry about-”
“Don’t you dare say you're sorry about what happened.” Like last night, Elaine kissed him, pushing him against the garage door. She pulled back and shot him a wink. “I told you before, now that I’ve closed the gap, I’m not letting you run away from me again, Van Arkride.”
The spriggan was stunned before admitting his own defeat. “You did, and don’t worry, I won’t.”
“Good.” Elaine leaned up to kiss him again. “That said, I am sorry for my part in…wronging your car. Don’t worry, I’ll help you..err…clean up your car. Maybe you could tell me a bit more about it while we do so.”
Van’s eyes sparkled an excitement that told Elaine she still might’ve ranked second to the Ingert. “Finally. I’ve been praying to Aidios to be able to do this for so long.” Van didn’t wait, and he eagerly started gushing over his Ingert, lacing Elaine’s hand in his and walking them back into the bistro.
Elaine had an exasperated smile on her face. Classic Van. Still, after last night, she found a new…appreciation for Van’s ride. Maybe she could also indulge Van by being more…involved with his favorite things.
Perhaps next time, he’d enjoy the Quincy Company’s latest sweets, served on her.