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Yuuji was completely frozen in the middle of the dorm room of the guy he supposedly hated. Mutually hated, mind you. He’d snuck into the other’s room with the intent to find anything he could get his hands on to get one over on Sukuna. Something embarrassing, incriminating, didn’t matter. He hadn’t thought it through all the way if he was honest. Which didn’t explain what he was seeing at all.
Sukuna’s room was neat, orderly. Everything had a certain corner to take up space within it. Shoes placed near the door, pens neatly arranged in their cup holder on his desk, and a bunch of torn scraps of notebook paper with Yuuji’s handwriting pinned on the wall above said desk. He leaned forward to read one of them.
‘I’m going to rip out your intestines and cram them down your throat. Maybe then you’ll finally shut up.’
…did Yuuji really write that one? It sounded a little familiar. But what he couldn’t get past were the little red hearts meticulously drawn around the threat on the ripped out paper. Yuuji sure as hell didn’t put them there. That left only one other culprit. The other pieces of paper tacked to the wall had little hearts on them too. These weren’t all of the dumb notes he’d written and chucked at Sukuna during their study period where neither said one spoken word to each other. A very rare affair. He did notice that the ones on display had a very clear pattern though as he skimmed them. They all erred on the side of being graphically violent. The longer he stood there looking at them the more it felt like he was intruding on something he shouldn’t have seen.
Yuuji left the dorm room with nothing incriminating or humiliating. Only the weight of knowledge of something very private that he both had a right to know and wished he could go back to being ignorant of it all before entering Sukuna’s room.
Study period again. Yuuji was at his usual desk, but for once he was heavily spaced out. He hadn’t had a study period the day after the surprise revelation, which meant he got to stew on it the whole day. He somehow hadn’t run into Sukuna either which was unusual. They squabbled at least once a day. Physically or verbally. Didn’t really matter which. It was all the same.
Except now it did matter. Part of Yuuji was still stuck staring at that wall of threats that had been carefully hung up like they were something precious.
A small prick of pain flicked against his cheek and a sharply folded piece of paper fell on top of the desk surface. He narrowed his eyes over at where he knew it had come from. The source of his problems on most days. Two desks away, Sukuna had his feet up on an empty desk chair while he leaned back reading his book. An unfamiliar green paperback novel. Oh, looks like he finished his last one.
Wait, what did it matter if Yuuji noticed that? He didn’t keep track of those things. He didn’t care. At all. Not even a little. The thoughts on repeat to drown out the static as he peeled open the note.
‘I was having a good day until you showed up.’
The seething glare from Yuuji was going ignored by Sukuna as usual. Wait, no… Was… was that a shadow a smile there for a second? He swore he saw it. A sliver of delight slicing through his vexation with startling precision. Yuuji swatted the feeling out.
Why does he care? He doesn’t. He really really doesn’t. So what if the guy smiled? It’s a miracle he can do it when he isn’t being a smug asshole.
Yuuji ruffled through his backpack after shoving Sukuna’s note in it, pulling out a notebook and pencil. Not even bothering with the textbook to keep up the appearance he was going to study because they all knew how this went. He wrote out the first few words before his mind went blank. The threat still clear in his mind but the idea of him finishing it and throwing it at Sukuna kept stalling him. Did he hang onto the others Yuuji had thrown at him? Did he add little hearts to all of them? Frozen staring down at a half-written sentence while his mind had him back at the dorm room.
They both had a perchance for doing something unexpected and throwing the other off at any given time. This was a whole different level. Yuuji hadn’t wanted to know about it. He’d crept into the dragon’s lair seeking something to use against him only to find the glass heart of said dragon. The heart beating steadily in the palm of his hands unbothered that it could be shattered in an instant by the person who held it. Maybe it already knew he wasn’t capable of crushing something so earnest. There was a prick of pain on his cheek again almost hitting the exact same spot before the new folded note fell onto the blank page below. Yuuji side eyed Sukuna who for all appearances looked like he hadn’t moved at all. The only give away being the open notebook and pen on the other’s desk that clearly had pieces of it ripped out.
Yuuji warily kept an eye on Sukuna as he unfolded the note before looking down at it.
‘Nothing clever to say? I suppose I was asking too much of you.’
The taunt shot a zing of need through him to prove the other wrong. Sending the other boy a heated glare. Sukuna turned the next page of his book content to ignore the storm of Yuuji brewing on the wayside. …okay that was definitely a tiny smile that was there for a millisecond. The corner of Yuuji’s lip twinged up traitorously to which he whipped his head the other way so he was facing the wall of windows. Beams of sunlight filtering through the glass panes pleasantly. It too seemed content to ignore the whirlwind of emotions burning inside the teen.
Since when did Yuuji become so hyper vigilant? He shoved the note in his pocket where it could burn a hole in his awareness.
There was no way he could admit to what he saw. Putting aside his initial intentions and having to explain that, it was a totally private thing the guy did in his own room. Yuuji wasn’t going to air that out for anyone to hear. Not even for someone he hated. It was harmless anyway. Right? Yuuji’s gut twisted. He really couldn’t go back to how things were before. He couldn’t pretend to be unaware of it. It was impossible.
The only other option would be to bring it up in some way.
Yuuji didn’t have relationship experience, but even he knew that you don’t pin up notes with little hearts drawn on them from someone you hate. Cutesy hearts that you drew on the notes yourself, mind you. That’s too much effort. Which meant…
A flick of something hit the back of his head and fell on his hand. Another piece of neatly folded notebook paper. Yuuji let go of his pencil as he automatically opened it.
‘Has your brain finally turned to mush? Can’t imagine there was much there to begin with.’
Was this flirting for Sukuna?
A sinking horror dragging Yuuji downwards as he found he didn’t mind that idea at all. That he might even like it too. The echo of his forehead thunking against his desk in defeat. The unfortunate realization making him both equal parts frustrated and embarrassed. …especially when he had an audience.
I have the biggest fucking crush on Sukuna, don’t I?
Yuuji wanted to run out the door and keep running until he escaped all his feelings on it. He’d even settle for crawling under a rock where no one could find him. Couldn’t they just go back to their mutual hatred? A string of questions came to mind to shake his already crumbling foundation.
Had it always been like that? Did Yuuji really hate him? Did Sukuna hate him?
Yuuji crumpled the note like was usual, shoved it in his pocket alongside the other, grabbed his pencil, and committed to writing a reply. Scribbling out his first one, scratching it out, then a second followed by scratching it out too. Chewing at his lip while he considered his next one. He wrote down the first letter of the burning question and stopped.
Bravery be damned, Yuuji threw his anxiety out, scribbling the rest of the question out before he could doubt himself. Ripping it out and crumpling it up to fly straight at the other boy still reading away. Yuuji didn’t have to look to know Sukuna caught it before it hit him. It was rare he ended up catching him off guard but when he did it left Yuuji smiling at those small victories the entire day.
Right now? Not so much because Yuuji couldn’t look anywhere near the other as the anxiety came knocking back in. Spiking his heartbeat at the sound of paper being uncurled.
Oh god, why did I write that? Why?? Do I hate myself??
The oppressive heat of being watched didn’t make Yuuji look over, but it did make him aware that his body was heating up from the attention alone. Yuuji’s hand twitched at the light screeching of a chair being pushed back. One from two desks away. Calm footsteps getting closer smothering his regret with hesitant anticipation. He could see the school uniform out of the corner of his eye stop right next to his desk.
“What is this?” The older boy’s voice devoid of any expected mockery as he held up the open crinkled paper. The innocent sentence written out to mock him for his impulsiveness: ‘Do you want to go on a date?’ Yuuji refused to look at it or Sukuna.
“What, you can’t read now?” Defensive was easy. It came natural to talking with Sukuna. Yuuji didn’t know how else to approach this new thing that was happening. That he started. Or did Sukuna start it first?
“You’ve never been this forward before.” The paper disappeared. He swore it was stuffed into a pocket. To join the others. “I’m merely concerned if you’re being genuine.” The completely neutral tone said otherwise. He was just looking for the best angle to sink his teeth into it. Into him.
“Are you going to answer it or not?” Yuuji told himself his own flustered reaction didn’t mean anything. He didn’t care what Sukuna had to say. He was just getting this out of his head and squashed before he could spiral any further on it.
“Hmm,” the boy still hadn’t moved from his periphery. The lack of an answer was the worst of it. He was stupid to believe that Sukuna might treat his own feelings with the same respect in return. He refused to just lay down and take whatever scathing comment he was concocting.
“Forget it.” Biting off his rising defensiveness. Yuuji pointedly looking off to the side and away from seeing any part of Sukuna. Would that note get little hearts drawn on it later? Yuuji mentally punted that thought into the recesses of his mind. “It doesn’t matter.” He waved over to where Sukuna’s stuff was, “Just go bac-”
There was a hand braced against his shoulder reaching across him as Sukuna got in his space. On instinct, the flat of Yuuji’s palm and forearm landed on the other’s chest to stop him from getting any closer. “What’s wrong, brat? Getting cold feet? Scared?” The dazzling flash of sharp canines and intense interest mixed with casual taunting.
“Of you? Please.” Easy, easy interaction. He could do this all day. Yuuji’s nails dug into the fabric pressing meanly into flesh. “I’m not going to waste my time if you’re going to be an ass about it.”
“Is that what you think?” Yuuji braced his arm at the resistance from Sukuna trying to get even closer. Nails digging into Yuuji’s shoulder where Sukuna still gripped him. “My time is precious too, brat. What makes you think you deserve any more of it?” Yuuji caught the other hand that tried to grab his face. The interest in Sukuna’s eyes only glimmering brighter at Yuuji’s steel grip on his wrist keeping him at bay. He could feel the ghost of those outstretched fingers on his cheek.
Yuuji flicked his eyes past Sukuna’s shoulder as a flush of heat crept up his neck. Was he going to be this hyper aware of him all the time now? “I’m not hearing a no.” Pride leaking in at the observation he’d made. All at once the pressure of holding Sukuna back was gone, calm footsteps following him back to his seat. Yuuji could only watch dumbly as Sukuna picked up his book and put his feet back up on the chair.
“I’m expecting to be thoroughly entertained.” Opening up to the page he’d left off on. “You’re free this weekend, aren’t you?”
“No, I’m gonna be hanging out with this insufferable guy.” There was that little fleeting upward twitch of Sukuna’s lips. It made Yuuji grin in return as a hesitant warmth filled his chest. “You’d get along with him.”
Sukuna didn’t give him an answer. But Yuuji knew if he kept talking that the other would remember anything he blabbed about no matter what the topic. The fact had been something to add to the list of things he hated about the guy, but now in a new light he found that maybe it could be a little endearing.