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“Haz, five minutes,” Niall called from the door of the dressing room. Harry didn’t answer and Niall edged into the room. “Haz?” he called again, walking towards the curly-haired boy.
“Yeah, ‘m almost ready,” Harry responded, eyes trained on his iPhone. Niall warily watched him for a moment before going to sit by him on the couch.
“Y’alright, mate?” Harry sighed, set his phone down, and rubbed his eyes.
“Yeah. Tired. Didn’t get much sleep last night.” Niall placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He knew that Harry wasn’t just tired.
“I’m sorry, Harry. He’ll be back soon. We miss him too.” Harry took his hand away from his eyes and nodded.
“I’ll be out, Niall.” The Irish boy knew that was Harry’s way of saying ‘get out,’ and he quietly slipped out the door. Harry leaned forward, clasping his hands together and resting his elbows on his knees.
Louis Tomlinson. His boyfriend. His wonderful, kind boyfriend who was in the US Marine Corps and had been gone for exactly one year, three months, and four days. Eight months, he’d said before he left. Eight months and I’ll be back. Harry could handle eight months. But Louis didn’t come back. Harry remembered the Skype call when Louis had told him he wasn’t coming home.
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“I’m so excited to see you, Louis. I’ve been thinking about you coming home non-stop for the past week.” Louis smiled a sad smile.
“Babe, I . . . there’s something I’ve got to tell you.” Harry’s heart clenched and his stomach dropped.
“What?” Louis rubbed his forehead and didn’t respond. “Is it bad? Is that why you’ve been so different during this call? Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad, right? We’ll be together soon . . .” Louis sighed.
“That’s just it, Haz, I . . . They extended my time. I’m not coming home when I was originally supposed to.” Harry’s smile faded.
“How much longer?”
“Haz . . .”
“How much longer, Louis?”
“Eight more months.” Eight more months. The words echoed in Harry’s brain again and again. He didn’t respond for a while and Louis spoke again.
“I’m so sorry, Harry,” Harry noticed now that Louis’s eyes were red-rimmed, even with the grainy Skype quality. Harry tried his best to smile a reassuring smile. He knew Louis needed him to be strong at least for the duration of the call.
“It’s okay, Louis. You’ll come home eventually.” Louis smiled another sad smile at him.
“I miss you so much, babe.” Harry had to clear his throat so his voice wouldn’t crack and expose the tears threatening to spill over.
“I miss you too, Louis.”
“Harry, I have to go now. I’m sorry. I miss you.” The tears balanced even closer to streaming down Harry’s cheeks.
“Okay, Lou. I’ll see you. I love you.”
“I love you too, Harry. I love you so much. I’m counting the days until I see you next.” Harry nodded and mustered a smile. “Bye, Hazza.”
Harry stared at the screen for a moment, a few tears spilling out of the corners of his eyes. He calmly x’d out the Skype window, closed the laptop, and got up from the chair. The tour bus was quiet. The other boys were asleep, and Harry planned to sneak into his bunk bed and let out his sobs into his pillow, but he didn’t make it that far. He got about two feet away from the computer before the sadness crashed over him like a wave, knocking him onto his knees. A strangled half-sob, half-scream escaped his throat and he buried his head in his hands. He couldn’t even think about being quiet now. The raw emotion pulled him under, leaving him gasping for breath, tears coursing out of his eyes so fast that they soaked his cheeks, neck, and even the very top of the collar of his white t-shirt.
He vaguely recognized the sound of feet thundering towards him and soon he was enveloped in a pair of strong arms. Arms that rocked him, trying to sooth him, but failed because they were attached to the body of Liam and not the body of a 22 year old marine whom Harry yearned for. Liam stayed there on the floor with Harry until his sobs subsided into small hiccups. When they did, he went to grab a cold water bottle, knowing better than to make a cup of tea, and brought it back to Harry. He downed it, grateful to Liam for putting up with his midnight sobbing. Liam gently led Harry back to their neighboring bunks and Harry squeezed into Liam’s with him, not completely satisfied with the arms that held him, but comforted at least.
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That was seven months ago. Harry recalled the event with a shudder and smiled that there was only one month left. He checked his watch just as a knock sounded on the door.
“Harry, get your arse out here so we can do this boyband shit,” Zayn called. Harry chuckled as he opened the door to come face-to-face with the annoyed-looking Bradford boy.
“You love this band and you know it.” Zayn snorted, but reluctantly smiled.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. They walked together to the left wing of the stage where they were supposed to enter. Niall and Liam met them there. Niall came up behind Harry and threw an arm around his shoulders. Harry smiled a small smile at him. Niall grinned back, and Liam reached up to squeeze Harry’s shoulder. They all loved Louis. He was like a fifth member of the band. They all missed him, and empathized with how much Harry yearned for him. The man on the opposite side of the stage gave them the cue and they ran out on stage.
The audience erupted in cheers and the boys stood in a line in the center of the stage for a moment before they started their famous introduction.
“We,” Liam shouted into the mic, grinning excitedly.
“Are,” Zayn followed, tacking on a smaller smile.
“One,” Harry chimed in, allowing his dimples to dance on his cheeks as he smiled his performer-smile.
“Direction!” Niall cried in his “announcer voice,” and the fans’ cheers grew even louder. They started their first song easily, all falling into the routine they knew so well. Their voices harmonized fluidly over the screams of the thousands of members of the audience, and Harry allowed himself to get lost in what he loved to do: sing.
The last song of the concert was one of Harry’s favorites: Little Things. Liam asked the audience if anyone had any family members or close friends in the military. He got a few “yes’s” and the noise of the crowd quieted. Liam walked over towards Harry and rested a hand on his shoulder.
“As you all know, Harry’s boyfriend, Louis, is in the Marine Corps right now.” He squeezed Harry’s shoulder. Louis and Harry were out, publicly, but thankfully were not overly publicized. The fans were very supportive and enjoyed seeing the two as a couple. They were indeed very aware that Louis was gone and had been gone for a very long time.
“So, as a band, we’ll all witnessed and experienced the effects it has on someone to have a loved one in the military,” Zayn added, sending Harry a smile. Harry felt a small lump at the back of his throat but smiled through it.
“And we’d like to dedicate this last song to everyone serving in the military, fighting for their freedom and yours,” Niall finished, adjusting the capo on his guitar.
A complete hush fell over the crowd as the first notes of the song started and Zayn began the first lines. Harry took a few deep breaths as the other boy sang and joined in at the chorus. Liam started off the second verse. Harry took another deep breath. His part was coming up. Just a few more seconds . . . he started singing right on his cue, voice slightly raspy. He didn’t care. He liked singing that way, actually. It made his throat feel strangely good. Zayn watched Harry as he sang, a small smile playing on his lips. Harry glanced over at him as he reached his last line.
And I’m in love with. . .
And audible gasp came from the crowd and Harry’s singing cut off. His head snapped up to look at the fans, who were all looking at the very left of the stage. Harry, at center stage, turned to see a familiar, brown-haired boy dressed in a navy blue coat with gold buttons, a white belt, white pants, and shiny black shoes. He immediately took one step forward, then froze.
Louis. Louis was here. He was here. At Harry’s concert. Now. One month before he was due back. And he was grinning at Harry, walking slowly forward. And Harry took in the official uniform, the part of Louis that he did not consider to be his Louis. The part that was business, war, strong and marine, but then there was that smile. That beautiful smile that lit up a room and Harry’s world. That smile that was always the same, always reaching up to the corners of the bright blue eyes and revealing slightly less-than-perfect (but still perfect to Harry) white teeth.
That smile now lit up Louis’s face and it was Harry’s Louis. His Louis that was there less than twenty feet away and suddenly his feet were moving, almost automatically, and only one word ran through his mind: LouisLouisLouisLouisLouisLouisLouis. Happy tears blurred his eyes as the other boy began to run towards him as well and his vision narrowed until that was all he saw: his beautiful, wonderful boyfriend right in front of him, getting closer and closer until there was no distance between them and Harry’s eyes squeezed shut. Their bodies and limbs met and his arms wrapped around the waist that was so familiar even after so long and he held tight like he would never let go. Louis threw his arms around Harry’s neck and his fingers latched onto his curly hair. Harry pulled him tight and stood up straight so that Louis was on his tiptoes, but he was holding the older boy so tight that there was no risk of him being off-balance.
Louis gasped a happy sob and they held each other tight for what felt like an eternity to them. Both of their minds were racing with the familiarity of each other. The familiar scent, arms, bodies, everything. They pulled away partially; Harry kept his arms around Louis’s waist, but Louis brought his hands down to rest on either side of Harry’s neck. He stroked either side of Harry’s jaw with his thumbs, happy tears evident in his eyes. He looked into the green eyes that he had missed so much and Harry looked into the blue ones he’d yearned for and then they couldn’t stand it any longer; their lips met in a kiss. Harry was so overwhelmed by how perfectly their lips melded together, as if they hadn’t missed a single day of practice. They shared a long, passionate kiss right in the middle of the stage and the crowd was silent until Niall let out a whoop. His face broke into a grin and Zayn and Liam mirrored it, affectionately watching the couple.
The crowd erupted, cheers and whistles all blending together and matching the fireworks that were exploding in both the boys’ minds. They pulled away and back into a tight embrace again, and this time Zayn and Liam joined in for a group hug. Niall stood on the side and whistled because of the guitar strapped to his body. Harry pulled away, keeping one arm anchored around Louis’s waist. He turned out to the audience and brought the microphone up to his lips. He waited until the audience quieted before he opened his mouth. His voice resonated, clear and strong and perfectly on-key.
And I’m in love with Lou,
He paused, and Niall let out another whoop of appreciation and began to strum the notes again. Harry grinned down at Louis, who was looking back up at him with eyes full of happy tears. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek, then brought the microphone back up to his lips.
And all his little things.