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Night had been creeping up on him, he’d been swamped with work for… well, for as long as he’d been with the company really. Though he supposed that came with being Vox’s personal assistant. He would never dare complain about it. Literally. He’d prefer not to be fed to Shok.Wav. A series of quick knocks on his office door finally caused him to look up from the profit margins he’d been staring at.
“Come in.”
“Ethan, are you doing alright?” Melissa gently nudged the door open.
“Where the fuck have you been hiding?” Travis pushed past the girl, cigarette still in his mouth.
“I’ve been in here all day. As per usual,” he said as he carefully guided Travis away from his precious paperwork.
“Aw come on Ethan, give it a rest,” Melissa spoke as she finally reached his desk.
She shuffled through the seemingly endless piles of work carefully.
“Can’t any of this wait until tomorrow?”
“Vox would kill me, Mel.”
Travis interrupted: “See, ya keep saying that. But he’s never actually done it. Besides, he’d just get you back on board the second you regenerate. That’s what Valentino does anyway.”
“He keeps re-hiring you because you’re the only sinner in hell willing to put up with him,” Melissa joked before turning her attention back to the eel sinner behind his desk.
“Listen, Ethan, I get it. You do tons of important stuff. But we throw a party like what? Once a year? We don’t even get holidays in this place.”
“I know, I know. Just, don’t wanna risk it. I’ll be with you guys once I finish up here.”
“The party will be over by then,” Travis mumbled, purposely putting out his cigarette on Ethan’s unfinished work.
“Travis, don’t be a dick about it. Ethan, come on, just one drink?” Melissa had resorted to puppy dog eyes.
Even Travis softened at her expression: “You know, everyone’s waiting for ya. Even Angel Dust asked about you, wanted to see how you were holding up.”
“He made it here?”
“Yeah!” Melissa chirped in, “He said he hadn’t seen Summer and Dia in a while and that tacky hotel gave him a night off.”
Travis followed her up: “If you don’t show, everyone’s gonna think we’re worse than that fucking place. Wouldn’t want that, now would we?”
“Fuck it, whatever, one drink,” Ethan conceded.
“Yes! See, told you he would!” Melissa said excitedly.
Travis gave Melissa a little nudge with his elbow.
“Of course. He hosted the damn thing after all.”
Ethan interjected as he locked his office door behind him: “I only overrode a few security cameras. Didn’t host any illegal parties.”
“Oh yeah, I almost forgot, Mel did the actual illegal shit!”
“Aw come on guys, it was no big deal. Just had to drag in a fuckton of booze and decorations behind Velvette’s back.”
Travis shot back: “Oh? I always thought she knew but just allowed you to do it since you’ve been fucking her so well.”
“Shut up, Travis. I swear to Satan I will send Valentino that video of you fucking Angel off the clock. Plus, it’s not like you didn’t steal Val’s studio keys for this.”
Ethan jumped in: “I’m pretty sure stealing anything off Valentino is much easier than you’d think.”
He was promptly met with a playful smack across the back of the head from Travis. It didn’t take them long to reach Valentino’s studio floor after that. Ethan was delighted as he heard cheerful chatter coming from inside. Even though technically he didn’t hold any power over his colleagues, he still felt a bit like a proud manager. Most of them tended to use him as their first stop with ideas or questions rather than going straight to the Vees. It was nice to see all of these people, that he’d normally only ever see stressed out or afraid, having fun. They all deserved it.
When the trio walked through the door, Melissa was instantly whisked away by Velvette’s other models. She waved Ethan a quick bye as she was dragged to the dancefloor. Travis was quickly greeted by Summer and Dia. The three had become friends over their many years working with the Moth Demon. The two girls told Ethan about their night so far, about how delighted they were that Angel Dust had been able to make it as well and about how much they missed chatting with him. Ethan quickly grabbed a drink off a tray that Kitty had been carrying around. He wasn’t entirely sure if that robot could feel anything, but he told it thanks anyway. It didn’t take long for Ethan himself to be dragged off by other tech crew members as well.
Truth be told, organising these yearly underground parties was a logistical nightmare. With help of Melissa and Travis, finding a spot to host it and supplies for the party was the easy part. Ethan usually took care of the actual timing and of securing them an alibi. He’d always have to sneak into security rooms when Vox was away to redirect a few cameras here and there, praying that he wouldn’t be caught. The one time the Media Overlord had spotted him, he’d luckily gotten away with a simple “keep your filthy hands off my stuff, Ethan, shit’s expensive.”
But planning a date and time? That was Hell on earth. Or, well, Hell in Hell. He supposed. Usually at least one of the Vees was at the tower. If all three of them were out, it tended to be for some massive scheme that required most of their employed souls as well. So Ethan had to make do with guessing when they’d all be gone on a whim. It was a lot like trying to predict the future. But hey, you didn’t become Vox’s personal assistant if you weren’t any good at analysing trends.
Earlier that week, Valentino had been scheduled to sit in on a late-night overlord meeting that would be taking place tonight. Vox was originally supposed to go, but he had backed out, meaning one of two things: an important business deal had come up or the Radio Demon had scheduled a fight. Either way, Vox would not be back until morning. Since Valentino had been scheduled instead, Velvette must have been busy too. Some quick stalking on her modelling floor had revealed that Leviathan herself would be visiting the Pentagram all the way from the Envy Ring. No way Velvette wouldn’t try to get involved with that. All of it added up to the one day of the year the Vees’ employees could have some fun. All of them had agreed to the plans instantly.
Melissa eventually circled back around to Ethan, tapping him on the shoulder to get his attention.
“Much better than sitting around in that office, right,” she smiled at him.
“Yeah, thanks, Mel.”
The two of them clinked their glasses together as a group of four approached them. Angel Dust was leading the pack, with Travis, Summer and Dia following closely behind.
Ethan shot the tallest member of the group a polite wave: “Angel! What’s up?”
Melissa went off into an excited ramble about how it had been too long since they had had a chance to chat and about how they should all visit him at the hotel if they ever had a chance.
“I know Mel, I agree and all,” he waved her off with a worried expression, “but uh, Ethan? I reckon you should see this.”
The spider demon then shoved his phone practically into Ethan’s face. The screen lit up with angry messages from Valentino about why he was at Vee Tower.
“Fuck, Angie, he’s got a tracker on your phone now? Bit much,” Dia sighed.
“Yeah, he really gets fussy about you, doesn’t he? We’ll see if we can get you some leeway next time we see Val, babes,” Summer replied, shaking her head gently.
Angel Dust kept his eyes focused on Ethan though, merely nodding politely at his friends: “Do you think they know?”
“There’s no way, Angel. All the cameras should be cut off right now, it’s all fake footage from the last few weeks displaying today’s time.”
Just then, Angel Dust’s phone, still all up in Ethan’s face, buzzed with a call. Travis gestured to pass it off to him instead. Melissa practically threw it as Angel Dust had frozen for a second.
“Travis speakin’, the spider slut you’re trying to get on the phone is pretty busy with some guys right now, give him a ring when he’s off shift.”
“Does he take all your calls like that?” Melissa whispered. Angel only nodded.
They could hear some of Valentino’s signature squeaking on the other end of the line.
“Listen, boss, I don’t know what you want me to say? You were the one that booked these extra shoots a couple weeks back,” he glanced meaningfully at Ethan, who was already adjusting the Vees’ shared calendar.
Another bout of grumbles followed.
“Tino, it’s a club scene. Of course there’s music. Angel’s busy but I’ll get you the girls, how about that?”
Travis, for the slimy conman that he was, was quite good at his job. Ethan had to give him that much. He expertly passed the phone to Summer and Dia who picked up with a perfectly synced “Hi Mister Valentino~”.
Melissa gave Angel Dust a reassuring pat on the back: “See! No worries, we stick together.”
“Thanks, Melissa. I’ll get us more drinks.”
Summer and Dia rejoined the group after a few minutes of sweet-talking their boss. Something continued to gnaw at the back of Ethan’s mind though.
“I feel like we forgot something. Or someone? Maybe?”
Melissa tilted her head slightly and thought for a moment.
“You know what? I think some of Vox’s employees didn’t show up. There’s less of you aquatic sinners,” she playfully pushed Ethan, “than usual.”
Travis continued: “Flat face must be in a meeting or something. Some poor suckers had to have been dragged along. You lucked out, Ethan.”
“Yeah,” Melissa smiled, “slippery eel that you are!”
“Oh,” Angel Dust had returned with their drinks and had been handed his phone back by his friends, “you’re probably thinking of Baxter! I asked him to come but he had something planned with Niffty. The little maid?”
Melissa continued: “Right! My tech guy! He usually does the lighting, so I had to do it all myself this time around.”
Baxter? Why would he get this gnawing feeling about Baxter? Sure, he knew the guy, he had been a Voxtek employee for decades. But that fish was just one of many faces in the crowd. Maybe Ethan just missed his style of handling the lights? Although they had been surprisingly pleasant the way Melissa had been doing them.
Angel Dust’s phone buzzed again, this time with a message with a photo attached.
“Anyone mind checking this, I don’t wanna see a dick pic right now,” Angel only half-joked.
Travis snatched the phone and opened the message.
“Ethan, we are fucked.”
“What? why?”
He only needed a second to process the photo of Angel walking into the party with Summer and Dia. It also showed various other employees of both Velvette and Vox’s strewn about the background of what was clearly the decorated porn studio. And their banner reading “annual employee party” clearly within view.
“Fuck,” Melissa started, “fucking knew I shouldn’t have made that.”
Gears grinded at the back of Ethan’s mind while the rest of the group jumped into action alerting everyone else of the situation. Ethan was sure that between all of them, they could get the studio cleaned and empty before any of the Vees arrived home. They stuck together. That was their thing. All Ethan needed to know was how that picture got out there.
“Summer, Dia, you two get Angel Dust back to that hotel. Travis, you get the studio cleared and stay down here,” Melissa had clearly learned a lot from Velvette’s management skills.
She continued rapidly: “And Ethan, you- Ethan?”
All the gears had finally snapped into place.
“Shok.Wav! The fucking sharks!”
“What’re you talking about?”
Ethan hurriedly dragged Melissa out of the studio and deeper into the building with him. He stared at all of the aquariums they passed on the way.
“Ethan! Slow the fuck down and tell me what we’re doing?”
“Getting rid of those pictures before Velvette and Vox see them. You can tell Val all you want but I highly doubt those other two will believe it.”
They sped into the elevator as Ethan continued.
“That Baxter guy? He built Shok.Wav originally. And all the other sharks for that matter. The first time we ever did this I asked him to work his magic. He got them shut off for us. Only ever asked him once, so I guess I kinda forgot about it. But, well, now I know he kept handling it behind the scenes for us.”
“And now that he isn’t here-”
“Those sharks have been recording everything, yes.”
Melissa stepped out of the elevator first, checking if they were still in the clear: “So how long do you think we have before the Vees are back?”
“Velvette checks her phone constantly. She’ll be on her way the moment Valentino tells her to. But it’ll take her a while to get here. Valentino is probably tearing Travis apart as we speak already, but I doubt he’ll think to find us, specifically.”
With that, the duo rushed into Vox’s office, Ethan sprinted for the various control panels while Melissa continued, pacing anxiously around the room:
“Vox, though, he’s a ticking time bomb. The second he sees those recordings he’ll zap himself into the building. Ethan, we’re screwed. I really don’t feel like regenerating over this pointless bullshit. Or getting fired. Or both, really.”
“I know, Mel, but we’ll be fine, trust-”
A blue bolt of lightning struck the middle of the room, the Television Overlord following right behind it. Both Ethan and Melissa stared in fear and muttered a quick swear under their breath.
Vox, however, appeared more annoyed than angry.
“What the hell are you two doing in my personal office? This place is off-limits. Especially when I’m not here.”
Ethan looked up at his boss and noticed how he was covered in scratches and slashes. Must have been a fight with the Radio Demon then.
“Apologies, sir, we didn’t mean to-”
“Shut it,” Vox interrupted as he scanned through his sharks’ footage.
His eyes widened and he burst out in laughter.
“You all threw a fucking frat party? Wow! You all really are lame as hell,” his expression returned to one of cold professionalism, “don’t ever pull a stunt like this again. I could have you all fired and killed for-”
He got interrupted by his own coughing and drops of blood falling on the tile floor.
Melissa chuckled behind her hands, desperately trying to cover up how amusing she found seeing Vox in a state like this.
“You brought one of Velvette’s favourites,” Vox stared accusingly at Ethan, “low blow.”
The Television demon thought for a moment, not wanting Val and Vel to know he had lost to Alastor in a petty fight, again.
“You two, how about we make a bit of a deal.”
Both Melissa and Ethan’s eyes widened.
“I’ll keep this little failed party from my associates. You two don’t tell them about a thing you saw either. Sounds fair, yeah?”
“Yes, Mister Vox, sorry Mister Vox,” the sinners replied in unison as they practically ran out of the office.
A few days later, after his shift had ended, Ethan ran into Melissa and Travis again. The two had been waiting patiently outside of Vee tower for him.
“So! When are we planning the next party?” they asked.