Chapter Text
Yuta finds you standing by the large window in the common area, eyes flickering back and forth at the clouds strolling by in a bright blue sky. A squirrel darts down a tree and rummages through leftover leaves in his search for acorns.
“Hey, Lyn,” He smiles and sits on the couch close by – an effort to make himself smaller and less threatening. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah! I’m okay!” When you grin, you scrunch your face and show your teeth, pinching your eyes shut. You’re trying too hard to look put together. “What’s up?”
“I just came to see you. I thought maybe we could hang out? Maybe at the new ramen shop downtown?” Yuta opens his mouth to say more, to utter his normal nervous nonsense, but he stops.
Even at the simple offer your eyes keep darting back and forth as you contemplate. Rika growls out that he should leave and find something else to do; Yuta silences her jealousy with a steady, Rika, behave.
“Can…well, maybe,” You pause and he catches the repetitive motion of your wrists spinning back and forth. Too much movement means you feel too much danger. “Can you go grab it and bring it back? Or…maybe we can just go another time? I’m really sorry. I want to go, but I’m just not feeling up to it right now.”
Yuta could go get the food and bring it back. He could give you space and turn his prying eyes away. If he gets food, it may even help you settle – he knows that won’t help you long-term, though.
So, Yuta does what he does best.
He anchors.
“Yin, what’s wrong?” He whispers, standing up and padding over to your side; his hand clasps yours for but a moment before he pulls it back. “You’re not here.”
“Sorry. I know it’s too much.”
“It’s not too much. But, if you can guide me where you are…I can help lead you back home – back here.”
“You don’t need to be where I’m at. It’s dangerous.” You snap, clenching and unclenching your jaw.
“I’ve been there before,” Yuta admits, swallowing back his own memories. “So…allow a veteran to lead you through the trenches to find the safest route back to base, okay?”
When you finally meet his gaze, your eyes look steadier.
“It’s just…outside feels dangerous right now.” You glance back out the window as your lips flatten into a thin line. “It’s not that I don’t want to go out. My brain won’t let me.”
Silence wraps both of you in companionable reassurance. Such extensive quiet from anyone else might concern you, but Yuta’s quiet feels easy and uninvasive.
“Let’s do this.” Yuta takes your hand again, leading you from the window and gesturing to the television. “Let’s hang out here for thirty minutes. You and I can watch whatever you want, or play video games, or just talk. Whatever you’d like.” He guides you onto the sofa cushion and takes the spot beside you. “Whenever thirty minutes is up, we’ll go do something outside that I’d like for five minutes.”
“That doesn’t give you much time for ramen.” You tease.
“I didn’t say it was to go eat ramen.” He grins. “So is it a deal?”
And though the panic setting in your chest screams at you to run away, you let Yuta anchor you and nod.
“Okay.”
Thirty minutes passes in the snap of your fingers, it seems. At the very least, it gives you plenty of time to build up a reservoir of dopamine to combat the anxiety that’s putting up an outstanding fight.
By the time Yuta stands and extends his hand, you’re tempted to tell him no. No, you’re not ready. No, it’s not safe enough. No, because the outside is still too dangerous.
No, no, no–
“I’m right here.” He slides his hand in yours, squeezing your fingers between his. “Come on. I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”
And when you let him lead you, you’re surprised that he doesn’t take you outside at all – at least, not at first. He leads you in a line by the windows in the common area and near the door.
“You know, back when Rika was alive we’d go play at the park all the time. We’d even take water balloons sometimes! Thinking back on it, our parents should have made us wear swimsuits instead of letting us play with water in our clothes, but we had such a blast I don’t think it really matters.” Yuta chuckles, eyes glistening with nostalgia as he moves you closer to the door, then back. Closer to the door, then back.
Closer to the door.
He opens it.
Fresh air sweeps through your hair and tousles it around your cheeks. All the pressure building up in your muscles and chest abruptly crashes and splashes out. Your head darts around but the most dangerous thing outside right now is Nanami.
More specifically: Nanami being poked by Gojo. Frankly, you're surprised Gojo is still alive.
“One day, I think Nanami is going to slap Gojo.” Yuta rubs the back of his neck and stands in the sunlight outside the door.
No movement, just standing.
“If that ever happens, I’ll video it for you.” He laughs, filling the silence only once before he lets it settle around you both.
And it helps. The fresh air soothes the ache pervading your chest as a consequence of the anxiety sitting for so long and suddenly easing. Outside doesn’t feel as dangerous as it did a few minutes ago.
“I’m sorry.” You sigh, closing your eyes and finally letting the relief pull your shoulders into an easy sag. “I didn’t want to be so afraid.”
“I know how it feels, Yin. It consumes you and twists your thoughts, your perception of what you know is real. But, fear doesn’t have to be fatal.” Yuta hums. “You just have to be willing to take the first step.”
When he turns to you, it’s warmer than usual.
“And if you can’t take that first step alone, then next time just let me know and we’ll do it just like this…together.”