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It’s well into the afternoon by the time they finally leave his — their, finally, thankfully — bedroom. They only make it as far as the living room, some show they don’t pay much attention to on the tv, Kojo in his bed and a half eaten box of pizza on the coffee table.
Half dressed, Tim in sweats and Lucy in his t-shirt, wrapped up in each other's arms with a throw blanket haphazardly draped on top of them. They’re so tangled together it’s hard to tell where one starts and the other ends. But, neither can be blamed, it’s been months without each other, without this wonderful, blissful feeling of home.
They never allowed themselves to have this part, the quiet intimacy of simply laying in each other's arms, during their frenzied April Fool’s Day hook ups or in the awkward morning after their Valentine’s Day ex sex. It was too painful, too real. But now…
Now there’s no rush, no imaginary clock to try and beat. No dark cloud of hurt that prevents them from having every part of being together.
They have forever now.
Tim’s hands aren’t idle as he holds her, one playing with her hair, gently untangling the knots their earlier activities caused, and the other gently caressing her leg, careful to avoid her injured knee.
It’s surreal that they’re here. That the talk he’d been so scared to have, went the exact way he’d hoped it would. That Lucy still felt the same way for him after all the heartbreak he’d put her through. That she agreed, without hesitation, to not only take him back but move in with him.
He wouldn’t have blamed her if she said no. If, like she’d said, the scars of him walking away were too deep to heal and there was no path for her to ever trust him with her heart again.
His arms tighten around her, an automatic response to the memories of that awful night. As if to remind himself they’re not there anymore.
They’re right here. In the light of day, no more walls between them.
The motion has her titling her head up, her fingers dancing along his jaw. Her eyes are so soft and so full of love that it overwhelms him.
And he imagines his are no different. Because he doesn’t have to hide it anymore, he doesn’t have to pretend like every fiber of his being, down to the molecules, doesn’t love her beyond comprehension.
Because he does. She is the love of his life, and he is hers.
“I haven’t said it enough, at all really, but,” Her voice is quiet against the background noise of the television. “I’m so proud of you, Tim. For all the work you’ve done, for —“
“Lucy, you don’t —“
“I do.” She sits up, shaking her head. Her hand comes to rest on his bare chest above his heart, tracing nonsensical patterns into his warm skin. “You did one of the hardest things a person could do. You went to therapy, opened old wounds to heal the new ones. Becoming the best version of yourself to fix your mistakes. Even after the disaster that was Blair London, you didn’t give up. And I’m so proud of you for that, for taking it seriously and doing the work.”
“I kept remembering that conversation we had in the hallway right after I broke up with you.” He reaches up, gently brushing some hair behind her ear, the shadows of guilt creeping into his eyes. “When I said I couldn’t give you what you wanted and you — I never wanted anything more in that moment than to be the man that you thought I was, not the one I thought I was. I healed for myself but it was also for you. For us.”
Her eyes well with unshed tears, but, for the first time in a long time, not out of sadness, out of joy. Relief and love for the beautiful man beneath her. She didn’t think it would be possible to love him anymore than she already had, but she does.
Her love for him so deep, so strong, it makes her chest ache.
Lucy takes a deep breath, sniffling the emotion away the best she can.
She leans forward, bumping her nose playfully with his before kissing him softly. It falls apart around their smiles, until they’re simply breathing the same air.
They resume their previous positions. Lucy resting her head on his chest. His hands resuming their gentle caress.
She could fall asleep like this, warm and sated and so thoroughly loved.
The noise of the tv slowly fades away as she lies there, her eyes slip shut as his fingers comb through her hair. She’s just about to drift off when Tim’s voice, low and deep, brings her back to full consciousness.
“I was scared today.” He admits, freely.
“That I wouldn’t say yes to moving on?”
“Yes but,” He takes a breath, leaning his head to the side to kiss her forehead. “When I thought you’d been hit.”
The memories of the morning had come rushing back to him as they lay there. When his fingertips, slow and gentle against her soft skin, skimmed the side of her knee. The onslaught of feelings he’d felt when he saw her fall behind the storage container, a fear so visceral it had everything but her fading from his mind.
“I’m okay, though.”
“No, I know, it’s just…” He pauses, looking down to finally meet her eyes. “I’ve never felt fear like that before, Luce, I….”
His voice trails off, his throat suddenly clogged with that very same fear from hours ago.
“Babe?” Lucy reaches up, her hand on his face once more.
He takes a deep, shuddering breath, eyes beginning to glisten with tears. “Losing you, because of my mistakes is one thing, but if I ever — I don’t think I could survive losing you like that, to the job.”
“You won’t.” She’s quick to reassure him, sitting up with a shake of her head.
“Lucy, we both know you can’t promise that.“
“You’re right, we do. But listen, truth be told, I was just as scared when you were on Metro,” Lucy frowns, the hand on his face traveling back down to his heart. The steady rhythm washing away the same fears she shares with him, even as her eyes well with tears once more at the mere thought of losing him. “And especially now when you’re out in the field and I’m home asleep.”
“Even though we were broken up until this morning?”
“Yes. Always.” She leans down, resting her forehead against his. Eyes falling shut, her next words whispered in the inch of space between them as a single tear falls onto his cheek. “I worry about you all the time, just like you always worry about me, but I know we’ll both fight like hell to come back to each other.”
“I will. No matter the circumstance.” Tim’s hand finds her face again, thumb stroking her cheek, brushing away the rivulets. “I love you so much.”
“I know, I’ve always known.” Her lips brush his in a barely there kiss. “I love you, so much that it feels overwhelming.”
They lay like that for a while, breathing the same air, letting their undying love for one another blanket them in a cocoon of safety. Sharing a kiss or two every few breaths until the air no longer feels as heavy as it did.
Lucy sits up, fingers tracing his collarbone from one side to the other. Biting her lip as goosebumps erupt on his skin from her touch.
“You know,” She pauses, a look in her eyes he knows well. One he hasn’t seen in quite some time. It’s seductive, dangerous, intoxicating. “You keep up all this open communication and I may never put pants on again.”
He flashes her a grin, hands roaming from her back to her backside. A deep, dark chuckle vibrating in his chest. “You make that sound like a bad thing.”
They look at each other, a challenge to see who will break first.
This time it’s Tim, sitting up quickly and taking her with him. He tugs at her hand, pulling her body flush with his before he’s kissing her. The force of it has her bending back, a giggle quickly turning to a soft moan.
Despite the passion in their kiss, there’s no rush to their movements, as he walks them out of the living room and down the hallway. No desperate need to seal their reunion like there had been hours ago. It’s simply her and him and their unrelentingly, never changing love for each other. A promise that from now on every challenge they face is together, hand in hand, two hearts that once again beat as one.