Work Text:
Doppo Kunikida was never late to work. He made sure of that every morning.
So when it was already 7:55am and he wasn’t even dressed, he knew today was going to suck. He started work in five minutes and his skin was still wet from the shower he took.
Kunikida knew he would have to leave the house without doing any of the things he did every morning. He had a very strict schedule for what he did every day when he woke. He followed it everyday, no matter rain or shine.
Wake up at exactly 6:00am.
Eat breakfast and be in the shower by 6:30am.
Brush teeth and get dressed by 6:55am.
Fix hair at 7:10am.
Prepare items needed for the day by 7:30am
Leave the house at 7:45am.
These were the words written in his Ideals notebook under the titled Morning Schedule. But the words on the page meant nothing if you woke up extremely late and didn’t even have enough time to eat breakfast.
So here we are, Kunikida rushing out the door, messily dressed in his usual clothing (which he takes time every morning to make sure looks perfect), hungry and already annoyed, and with his hair still very damp and not up in its usual ponytail.
He didn’t have time to write his daily schedule for work.
This was not ideal.
When Kunikida arrived at the Armed Detective Agency's building, it was 8:00am. He wasn’t late. But was it really worth it? He looked like a mess, or, at least that's what he thinks. He probably looks fine, but it seems Kunikida’s self-consciousness was set on telling him ‘Hey, everyone's going to notice and shame you for waking up late and not looking perfect.’
He shakes his head and rushes up the stairs. His hair moves around him; a reminder that didn’t have time to put it up and needs too. He’d have to tie it later. He’s slightly out of breath when he reaches the fourth floor. He checks his watch. It’s still 8:00am. He wasn’t late.
Pushing open the door to the agency, Kunikida walks in and slumps at his desk. He, Kunikida, wants to go home. Kunikida! The one who always always did his work, never complained, and barely missed work. And here he was, wanting to go home over a bad morning.
He takes his computer out of his bag nevertheless and begins working.
“Ah! Kunikida-kun!” Kunikida groans to himself. He did not need to deal with Dazai’s shit today.
Dazai is already wearing that stupid grin when he walks up to Kunikida’s desk. Something in the back of Kunikida’s mind hopes Dazai doesn’t bring up how he looks. Kunikida looks up at Dazai with irritated eyes.
Dazai looks at the taller of the two. He goes still for a second. “...Your hair is down? It’s always up,” he starts. Dazai pauses for a moment before speaking again in a teasing tone. “Did someone wake up late?~”
“Is it a crime now to have my hair down?! Go away, Dazai, I'm trying to work. You should do the same!” Kunikida grumbled out. “I'm going to put it up later, anyways. It’s not ideal to have my hair in the way while I work…”
“You should let me braid it, Kunikida-kun!”
...Now that came out of nowhere.
He never let anyone touch his hair. He definitely wouldn’t let Dazai touch his hair, especially not braid it. “...Do you even know how to braid hair, Dazai?! Don’t be stupid.”
“Ah, who knows? I could be a super talented hair dresser and I wouldn’t even know it! I have to try, don’t I?!” Dazai goes on, reaching a hand out to pat Kunikida’s head. Kunikida instinctively moves his head away when Dazai’s hand makes contact; a habit he’s learned from fighting people.
Kunikida wasn’t used to anyone touching him in a way that wasn’t to harm him. He leaned into the touch almost automatically.
Dazai notices—of course he notices—grabs on to his hair ever so slightly and grins. The little fucker was enjoying this! He looks down at Kunikida, before bringing his other free hand down to Kunikida’s laptop and promptly shutting it. “Dazai, you bastard— I was working!” Kunikida shouts.
“You should let me braid your hair, Kunikida! You work too much anyways, I’m really doing you a favor!” says Dazai, who gently tugs at the hair he’s grabbed onto.
“Ow! Dazai, don’t do that, it hurts!” Kunikida complains, swatting Dazai’s hand away. He immediately regrets it, missing the feeling of Dazai’s hand.
…?
Missing the feeling?
No.
He did not miss the feeling of Dazai’s hand.
…
He did not miss the feeling of Dazai’s hand.
…
Why did he miss the feeling of Dazai’s hand?!
Kunikida is snapped out of his thoughts when Dazai starts talking again.
“But Kunikida-kun! It’s so fluffy, really you should let it down more often…”
Kunikida’s face flushes slightly. He rarely got compliments, and no one ever complimented his hair when they did say something nice. He shakes his head and says: “I don't even have a hair tie, Dazai. How do you plan to braid my hair without one?” in an attempt to make an excuse on why Dazai can't play with his hair.
What was wrong with him today?
“Hmm… Oh, I know! I'll go find one! I'm sure Yosano has one!”
“Dazai! You should really be doing work instead of bothering Dr. Yosano!”
“But Kunikida! I really want to braid your hair!” Dazai pouted. Kunikida looked at him. ‘Does he really want to do my hair that badly…?’ Kunikida wondered. He was going to ask why Dazai wanted to but as soon as he opened his mouth Dazai decided to talk again.
“Don’t you want your hair up? You said it wasn’t ideal to have it down while working, Kunikida! Just let me braid it!”
That was true… having his hair down was quite annoying.
But was it annoying enough to have Dazai put it up? Kunikida could just do it himself. “Dazai, I can do it myself. Why would I want you to even touch my hair?!” he said. “One look of your hair is enough to tell me that I shouldn’t let you even go near mine.”
“But pleeeaaaassseeee! I’ll do all my work if you let me! Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!” Dazai whines dramatically. “Please, Kunikida-kun! It’s so soft!” He emphasizes his point by tangling his hand into Kunikida’s hair. Kunikida instantly—almost automatically—leans into the touch.
What Kunikida said next shocked the both of them…
“Fine.” Why did he agree?! It must’ve been something in the air, something that made him agree to Dazai’s stupid request. Dazai’s hand tightens in Kunikida’s soft hair.
“Really! You’re such a wonderful human being!” Dazai beams and runs off, presumably to find a hair tie.
Kunikida still doesn’t know why he even agreed to this at all. It was like as soon as Dazai touched him, all the stress and anxiety in his head disappeared and was replaced with pure soothe.
…Was he getting sick? Why did he feel this way?
He felt himself missing the gentle touch of Dazai’s hand. After a while of contemplating, Kunikida ultimately decides to look it up on his computer. He thinks for a moment on how to even word what he was thinking, but comes up with:
’why do i miss the feeling of my coworkers hand when he pulls it away from me?’
The results that popped up surprised Kunikida. The first one that popped up was an article titled ‘Ten Signs That Could Mean You’re Touch Starved.’
Kunikida clicks on the link and begins reading.
….
“Touch starvation refers to the longing for touch or physical contact from other living beings. Deprivation of physical touch may result in people experiencing negative sensations, such as feelings of emptiness and loneliness.”
This almost exactly described what he was feeling.
Almost.
He only wanted the attention from Dazai. The thought of getting touched by anyone else didn’t make him feel the same as Dazai did.
Kunikida pressed the back arrow and clicks the second link that showed:
‘How To Tell If You’re In Love.’
…In love?
He couldn’t be in love with Dazai. There’s no way. He had 58 very specific requirements for his ideal partner.
One of them being that she was a woman.
Kunikida was not gay.
He liked women, and there was no doubt about it—so why did he feel this way about Dazai of all people?!
But let’s say Kunikida did like men—even though he doesn’t; Dazai very clearly likes women. It’s so very obvious we would never date a man, he’s always hitting on that one cafe worker and is always babbling about how he wants to commit double suicide with a beautiful lady…
Kunikida sighs and reads the article.
Kunikida was reading a sentence about how to tell if you’re secretly gay and you didn’t know it when he heard Dazai’s annoying voice from down the hall. Did he find it annoying? It sounded quite pretty at times—
“Kunikida-kun!~”
He shakes his head to (unsuccessfully) clear his mind.
This wasn’t good.
Dazai was going to see what he was reading and start asking questions— oh lord.
Kunikida decides the best course of action would be slamming his computer shut before Dazai even gets to his desk.
“...What do you want, Dazai,” Kunikida was glad his voice hid the mix of emotions bubbling in his stomach.
“Hehe, look what I found,” Dazai then holds up two red hair ties, just like the ones Kunikida wore everyday.
Oh.
Kunikida had forgotten he’d said Dazai could do his hair.
Oh no.
“I— You still want to do that??” Kunikida turns his body to face Dazai fully. There was really no getting out of this situation.
…
But didn’t want to get out of this situation, now did he?
“Well, of course! I even got these two red rubber bands, just like the ones you wear everyday!” Dazai lets out a giggle and pulls out a chair from the desk next to Kunikidas. He then sets it behind Kunikida's chair.
He holds up his hand. There's two red colored rubber bands in between his fingers.
“Where did you even find those??”
“Ah, I went to that store across town you wrote down in your notebook to go buy one!”
Dazai sat in the chair he placed behind Kunikida.
“You read my notebook?! You bastard— that’s private!”
“Oh, whoopsies!”
Wait.
Dazai had gone all the way to a store across town just to buy Kunikida’s hair ties?
Why did he go through all that work just for Kunikida?
“I'm gonna put it up now!~” Dazai sing-songs.
“...Just don’t tangle it, I swear if you make my hair all matted—”
Kunikida cuts himself off when he feels Dazai’s gentle fingers thread through his hair. They’re so much more gentle than you would expect, especially from a man like Dazai Osamu.
“I asked Yosano for tips on how to braid! She taught me how…,” Dazai begins, gathering up all of kunikida’s hair into his fist. “Step number one,” he recites, “put the hair into a ponytail.”
He does exactly what he says, tying the blonde's hair into a low ponytail using one of the hair ties. “And then she said to separate it into two strands…,” Dazai says, using his fingers to part the ponytail down the middle. “Can you hold this for me?” He says, and doesn’t wait for a reply before shoving the second hair tie into Doppo's hand.
Kunikida stayed completely still and held the tie without complaint.
He thought people typically used three strands of hair but he didn’t question it. He was focused on the feeling of Dazai’s fingers. Kunikida thought it felt nice, though he would never tell Dazai.
“Ah. That doesn’t look right. I think ‘m meant to do three…,” Dazai murmurs, mostly to himself. He combs through the blonde hair and creates three sections. “There we go! Okay, then she said to cross them over eachother…” He goes silent in concentration.
Kunikida was glad he was faced away from Dazai, because he could feel the warmth on his face, his cheeks. This was humiliating. Why was it humiliating? He didn’t know— it just was! Can you blame him?
Dazai started humming softly while he worked, handling Kunikida's hair with such delicate care.
Kunikida stared in front of him, looking for something, anything, to put his focus on. He’d shut his computer earlier, so he couldn’t stare at the screen; he could always open it… No, that wouldn’t work. If he did that, Dazai would see what he’d been researching!
That would be so embarrassing.
There was a stack books in front of Kunikida, the one on top being Dazai’s Guid to Suicide book he’s always reading. Kunikida never liked that book. He would prefer if Dazai didn’t go at all. Under Kunikida's Ideals notebook.
Should he go over his daily schedule?
Oh. That’s right… he didn’t have time to write it this morning. He suddenly feels tired, remembering how he woke up late. Kunikida doesn’t think he could even move to grab it if he wanted to.
Dazai seems to still his movements behind him, fingers still holding his blonde hair. After a moment, he finally speaks. “...Are you alright, Doppo? You’re being awfully quiet.”
Doppo.
Doppo.
Why did he use Kunikida's first name?
…
And why did Kunikida like the way it sounded coming out of Dazai’s mouth?!
“Im fine, Dazai.” If ‘fine’ meant his heart beating so fast he thinks it might jump out of his chest, his face being flushed and whatever thoughts were spiraling in his head, then yeah, he was as good as fine.
“Ah, whatever you say, Kunikida-kun!” Dazai sings and goes back to humming. He gently braids Kunikida’s hair, and Kunikida felt like he was going to explode.
Did he love Dazai?
Would Dazai love him back if he told him?
Does Dazai even like men??
Does Kunikida even like men???
‘Should I ask him out??!!,’ is the thought that plagues Kunikida’s mind. Dazai stops humming and tugs at Kunikida’s hair.
“Are you sure you’re alright? You seem off, ” Dazai says, tugs at Kunikida’s hair again—not hard enough to hurt. Hard enough to bring Kunikida back to reality.
“Would you want to go out on a date with me sometime?! I mean—”
Now, you have to understand… Kunikida hasn’t been on very many dates in his life. Maybe three. Maybe.
All with women.
Girls, ladies, whatever you want to call them; never with a man.
Going out with a man was never considered, never thought of. But then again… He never really felt himself enjoying the dates he did go on.
He never just blurted out a question like this, never.
What if Osamu said no?
What if Osamu developed some sort of disgust for Kunikida?
What if Osamu never wanted to talk to him ever again?
“Ah, that was rather blunt, Doppo! D’you say that to all the guys you ask out, hm?” Dazai grinned and continued humming and braiding Kunikida’s hair as if nothing had happened. “Mm, I suppose I’ll go out with you, but, ah— I thought you liked girls, Kunikida-kun?~ That notebook of yours went into a lot of detail—”
“Shut up!” Kunikida cuts him off, embarrassed and red in the face. How was Dazai being so calm about this?! “...I thought I liked girls, but I guess not.”
“Oh? And when did you find this out, hm?” Dazai says and continues braiding. He’s almost done by now.
“Uhhm…” Kunikida was terrible at improv, but he wasn't just going to say ‘you touched my hair earlier and it made me feel weird so I looked it up and turns out im gay and in love with you,’ so instead he opts for: “Earlier…?”
Dazai nods even though Kunikida can’t see it. He pauses. “Are you sure you want to go out with me? I’m not exactly... ideal,” Osamu mutters, almost as if the words were disgusting and didn’t taste right in his mouth.
He continues braiding.
“Don’t say that, Osamu.” Kunikida says. He hates it when Dazai talks about himself in such negative ways. He deserved so much better. Deserved someone to tell him that he was perfect. Beautiful.
Did it matter if he wasn’t ideal?
“Rubber band?” Dazai says and reaches a hand out. Kunikida lifts up his own and lets the hair tie drop from his fingers into the palm of Dazai’s hand. He ties the end of Kunikida’s hair, securing the braid. Dazai thinks it looks pretty.
“...You’ll really go out with me?” Kunikida asked. He couldn’t force himself to turn around and look Dazai in the eyes. Osamu seemed to notice Kunikida’s tense shoulders and grabbed his chin, tilting it to face Dazai.
“Yes, Doppo. I've liked you for a long time, I'm surprised you just noticed.”
O…kay? Dazai doesn’t need to know Kunikida didn’t notice at all. He didn’t need to know that Kunikida only felt an overwhelming feeling and needed to say something. All that matters is that Osamu loved him back.
“If it makes you feel better, I told myself I shouldn’t love you. Not that I didn’t, I did— but… I said that to myself because everything I’ve ever loved gets stolen from me,” Dazai hesitantly says like it's the first time he’s ever told anyone this. Maybe it is the first time he’s ever told anyone this.
“...I wasn’t going to say anything at all. I tried giving you signs, but I was never going to express my feelings with words or anything. I’m glad you brought it up first.” Dazai says. Kunikida thinks it’s the most honest thing Dazai has ever said to him. Dazai grins and says: “Also, I'm done with the braid!~”
Which is slightly funny to Kunikida, because if he hadn’t said anything at all… the two would probably never have gone out. He then realizes what Osamu just told him. ‘I tried giving you hints.’
The scheming bastard knew what he was doing to him!
Kunikida allows Dazai to drag him to a mirror mounted on the wall to look at the braid. It looked… perfect.
“...Thank you, Osamu. It looks perfect.”
“Ah, it’s nothing really! I’d do anything for my boyfriend!”
Boyfriend.
…Boyfriend.
Dazai’s boyfriend.
“Shut your mouth, we're not dating yet! Take me to dinner first, idiot! We haven’t even gone out yet!” Kunikida shouts, flustered.
“We’re not dating yet? So you’re saying we will?—” Dazai replies and grins harder, clearly enjoying this.
“I really hate you, Osamu!—”
“I love you too, Doppo.”