Work Text:
“NO WHERE TO GO NOW LITTLE SHIT”
A man yelled, thrusting a gun into Dazais head.
What a pain.
See most sixteen year old kids spend their time studying, hanging out with friends and various other trademark teenage activities.
However Dazai wasn’t like “most” teenagers he was a member of the Port Mafia and quite an important one at that.
Today was just like all the others, he made his way to work like he did everyday, lazed around the office and was then sent out to do his rounds.
But now we’re here
—————————————-
Earlier today :
“So you’re the Port Mafia representative ?”
A man sat opposite Dazai wasn’t convinced, he looked the boy up and down: his thick brunette hair hanging over his face and bandages.
He definitely looked rather strange.
But then again who in the Port Mafia wasn’t a little odd looking.
He locked eyes with the boys singular deep maroon iris, it sent a chill down his spine.
Those weren’t the eyes of a child.
“Shall we”
Dazai sang, grabbing a crumpled pile of water damaged sheets, the man recognised them at once as the documents they had sent to the Port Mafia as a request for protection, though they weren’t in that’s state when they were mailed.
“Just gimme a sec to flick through these”
He carded the pages at a lazy speed, the man looked at the boy as he tossed them to the floor watching as the pages scattered across the concrete.
“I’m not reading allat can you summarise, please and thankyou”
He leant back on his chair, kicking his feet up onto the desk picking his nails.
“That document is the whole point of this meeting the least you could do is have already read it”
The man was visibly angry though it was clear he was showing some restraint as to not shoot the little shit there and then.
“I’m a busy guy now chop chop get to it”
Dazai waved his hand dismissively at the man urging him to get on with it, this further pissed off the man.
“Is there anyone else we can talk to about this maybe someone-“
He looked Dazai up and down a look of disgust in his eyes.
“-older ?”
Dazai looked at the man for the first time all morning, at his red face and stick sweated bald head.
“Mhmmmmm let me think”
Dazai appeared to look deep in thought, bringing his forefinger and thumb to his chin, rocking back on his chair humming in thought.
“NOPE”
He declared, truth be told he was only pretending to be thinking about it and honestly even if there was someone else they could talk to he wouldn’t let them.
“You know this is actually beneath me, as an executive the only person above me is the boss and how well do you think that’s gonna go for you if I have to bother him with your silly issues”
Dazai spoke in such an innocent voice that hid his bs, the man scoffing at him in response.
“What kinda place makes a child an executive”
He spat, a vein buldging in his temple in pure fury.
“Do you care to find out”
With that Dazai pulled a gun directly to the man’s head.
Unfortunately a cross like this was to be expected by the Port Mafia so they had counter measures.
A bit prehistoric be it but a knock out punch still sufficed.
————————————————
And we’re back :
~
“GOD YOU LITTLE WEASEL HOW YOU MANAGED TO ESCAPE ILL NEVER KNOW”
He spat, wind muffling his yells.
They were standing on a bridge, it was already dark and the moon was the only thing lighting the concrete.
Dazai rolled his eyes thinking about how long he must have been out for.
And he was already in a bad mood because that punch left him with a nasty headache.
“Quit yelling your voice is so irritating”
Dazai whined rubbing his head, the man wanted nothing more then to put this kid six feet under.
“Well I suppose it can’t be helped buhbye now”
With that he outstretched his arms leaning backwards to throw himself off the bridge.
Grimacing as he felt another hand snatch his own and fling him backwards.
“DAMMIT DAZAI WHAT THE HELL”
He was currently sat on the back of Chūyas motorcycle much to his distaste.
“What, I was just taking advantage of the situation which you so rudely interrupted”
Dazai leant back to avoid a stray bullet, then firing his own back in retaliation.
“I WAS TWO AND A HALF MINUTES LATE THIS MORNING AND THIS IS WHAT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO”
Chūya accelerated the bike speeding up one of the bridges towers.
“It’s fine tardys in your name Chūya you fucking RETARD”
Dazai yelled that last part directly in the others ear startling him so they swerved slightly.
“See ya in a bit”
With that Dazai let go of Chūyas waist, saluting as he began the fast vertical descent, outstretching his arms firing both guns as he spun in the air, the bullets raining down at the men. He got a good ten or so hits before Chūya was able to snatch him back just before Dazai hit the ground.
“STOP DOING THAT CHRIST”
Chūya tossed a few bullets into the air, a red charge surrounding them before flying towards the enemy who had called in even more troops.
“Awww but the skyfall is one of our iconic moves”
Dazai was holding onto Chūya’s waist with one bandaged arm, rifling around in his coat for something else with the other.
“STOP NAMING THINGS TOO”
Chūya swerved redirecting his trajectory towards the men, them only narrowly jumping out of the way of the glinting bike.
“DO WHAT YOUR HEIGHT COULD NEVER AND GO UP”
Dazai yelled, seeming to have found what he was looking for.
“DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO YOU ASS”
He says this but he promptly obeyed scaling the tower again, a light rain started to fall from the night sky.
When they reached the peak Dazai pulled the ring from the grenade, tossing it below them.
Those few seconds of delay before the blast, debris flying everywhere as Chūya decided that was the job well done speeding down the other side of the tower onto the surface of the river below.
Water flicked up as they sped away.
“WHAT THE HELL WHERE WERE YOU HIDING THAT JESUS”
Chūya yelled back to Dazai who was holding on tightly to him, hair flying in the wind.
“Dont ask questions you don’t want the answers to”
Dazai leant in resting his head on the others shoulder so he wouldn’t have to yell.
“Perché insisti nell’essere un fastidio ?”
Chūya muttered to himself, accelerating into the distance