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Izaya was probably about the only man on earth, that‘d be thrilled about a parasite latching on to him.
-"Izaya, do you like, ever get hard sometimes?“
It‘s like a little treat. Life would be bleak without this.
He smiles. Honoring your sophisticated inquiry thoroughly by twirling his chair around to face you.
You‘re spread out all over his giant couch. Snacking on dehydrated, severly sugarized ginger cubes because his intellectual household frankly had nothing else to offer. Contrarily, you had just complained about the inflammatory taste a few minutes ago.
He‘s tempted to answer straight away. But first, he has to acknowledge the question.
"Are you worried?~"
You don‘t look at him when your hand dives back into the package. All the while the other one raises to reveal the dumphone inside your palm.
"I joined one of your cults. They‘re having an earnest discussion about it right now.“
Izaya raises an eyebrow. His smirk doesn’t weaken by any extent.
"And you‘re wanting to establish your place into their hierarchy by leaking the truth?“ he questions, ammused all throughout.
"That‘s a good idea.“ your voice gets muffled by your incentive not to finish swallowing first.
"But honestly, I‘ve gotten curious as well. They‘re establishing some pretty good arguments.“
The brown haired male tilts his head ever so slightly, letting it weigh into his palm.
"Is that so? What‘s the quota?“
"Uhm, I‘m not sure. But somebody just revealed you had surgery to have your dick removed.“
His lips purse up at that.
"To lessen your chances of getting assasinated.“ you append. Unprovoked.
"And what‘d you reply to that?“
"Nothing. I‘ve only been contributing Kaomojis.“
"That idea is actually not entirely unprofound.“ he replies, actually bothering to address the former. His tone insinuates experience.
"Really?“ you finally look up.
"I find it difficult to believe you’d let yourself get seduced like that.“
Izaya doesn’t answer directly. Instead choosing to gesture torwards you with a particularly smug grin.
You frown.
"I don‘t recall ever having taken advantage of you like that.“
"Well; it‘s fortunate that your brain doesn’t work that way.“ he smiles.
You leave his ominous statement unattended.
"Some of the chicks were pretty devastated to hear that.“ you comment, attention back to the phone.
"Will you choose to console them?“
"Does that mean you still have it? And do actually get horny at times?“
Izaya’s almost tempted to get up and join in on spectating your fun. But he realizes he‘d rather have you come torwards him.
"It depends. Although I suppose I do have the tendency to be drawn to stuff most individuals would find appalling.“
The look he gives you is heavily implicative. But you miss it; Still busy diligently following the trajectory of the discussion.
"Nothing to be ashamed about. I for one really had a thing for Cell from Dragonball Z at some point.“
Izaya doesn’t even bother googling who that is.
"Thanks. That is plenty assuring.“ he purrs.
"Oh wow. Somebody just claimed they had sex with you.“
Izaya‘s response all of a sudden sounds a tad less intrigued than prior.
"Possibly.“
-"They said you got about 9 inches.“
He studies your rather non-revealing expression. "Are you wondering if that‘s true?“
"I‘m just reiterating. I thought I‘d help you out.“
Spinning back his chair, he finally chooses to tear his eyes from you.
"Very well. You‘d like me to find out what Ikebukuro has to say about you?“
He can hear you shuffling to sit up.
"For real?“ you examine. Only to raise an eyebrow right after. "..How much would that cost me?“
"More than I know you could pay.“ he answers.
"But to be frank I‘ve gotten curious as well.“
You now decide to spare him your full attention.
"So you‘ll do it for free?“
"I think getting the right answers from the source itself would translate to the appropriate payment.“
"Fine by me.“ you shrug, getting off to join him by his desk.
Not minding the proper etiquette at all, you jump up to sit on it, angling your face into a position from where you’d be able to see his monitor properly.
"Let‘s see.“ he humms.
Rather soon, you come to realize that this hadn’t been such a great idea after all.
You might be pretty shameless. But having Izaya’s eyes lingering on you, waiting for you to either confirm or deny whether it was true that you had #####[retracted]##### at one one point; while #####(lol?) and simultaneously #######[R18++!!!] with a guy named Ryuzaki once - it was safe to say - you did get a bit sweaty.