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Prompt: Blueberries and a conversation with Cakey
“Oi Zoro, I need you to take all this fruit to the galley for me. Whatever doesn’t fit in the fridge, you can put it in the cold storage downstairs.”
Zoro looked at Sanji with distain. He had been taking a nap on deck and was sleeping peacefully until a leather shoe clocked his chops.
“What makes you think I’m going to do that for you after you woke me up like that, you shit cook?” Everyone else was on the ship somewhere, what made Sanji ask for Zoro’s help? Then again, he hauled shit for the cook almost all the time. He’s used to it.
“Idiot swordsman, you’re going to put them away and Usopp is going to help you. Get up off your lazy ass and do something useful for once!”
Raising his leg for another swift kick, Sanji’s leg met singing steel as Zoro calmly got up from his sleeping spot near the mast.
“Alright, alright, just shut up already. You’re going to end up curling your eyebrows further. Where’s Usopp anyways?”
“If my anger curls my eyebrows, does that mean your hair is green from stupidity? He’s in the aquarium room putting some fish he caught in the tank.” Sanji gestured towards the very large stack of fruit containers behind him. “I want all of this put away in one go, too. If you leave it out in the sun for more than a couple minutes, the fruit will begin to denature and I will dump your ass in the ocean.”
“Wait, you want us to carry everything all at once? Do I look like a circus act to you?” Sanji smirked and opened his mouth to agree but Zoro cut him off. “If you want your throat stuffed with my sword, continue.” Sanji’s eyebrow twitched lecherously, making Zoro cringe and blush slightly.
Ignoring the reaction derived from Zoro, Sanji continued, “All in one go, or your ass is mine.”
Zoro was now thoroughly embarrassed and was at a loss for words and Sanji sauntered away with a wave of his hand. He hated that slick bastard. Revenge will have to wait until later, but hell he was going to get some.
He made his way to the aquarium, dragging Usopp by his nose with little explanation of what they needed to do. Zoro and Usopp really did look like a circus act now, precariously balancing containers and bowls as they maneuvered to the galley. This of course included dodging Luffy, making the two balancers look more like ballerinas as they weaved through Luffy’s grabby motions. (Though obviously, neither were as graceful.)
They eventually make it to the galley, miraculously getting past Luffy when he got distracted by Chopper flying a kite. Zoro negligently kicked open the door, and sighed with some relief as he felt that he and Usopp made it on time with no spillage. The cook would be satisfied, Usopp would go back to doing whatever he was doing, and he would be able to finally sleep. Again.
It was with mentioned sigh that Zoro felt some weight shift, and the clatter of plastic Tupperware on the wood floor crushed his dreams entirely.
“God dammit, Usopp why did you let me drop that?! Now I’lll never hear the end of this from that swirly-pervert!” I probably won’t get to use my fourth sword later either…
Usopp inched back at Zoro’s calm demeanor over the spilled fruit, fearing some kind of sudden outburst. “Oi! Zoro, it’s okay! We’ll just put them back in the bowl and no one will ever know!” Usopp says optimistically, clapping his hands.
“You really think Curly won’t notice? You know how that bastard is with food! He’ll notice right away.” Zoro debated his options. He could tell Sanji, risk a fight about how careless he is, and not get laid or he could avoid telling Sanji, fight about something trivial, and get laid. Option B it is then. It’s not lying, it’s just… avoiding the inevitable.
“Okay. Okay, I’ll just pick them up and wash them a bit before putting them away. You go ahead and put the rest in the fridge. Whatever doesn’t fit, make it fit so he won’t ask us to do this again for him.”
Usopp looks like he’s stuck between a rock and a hard place. He wants to listen to Zoro, but knows Sanji will be upset if he just squishes fruit into the fridge. He was mentally debating which way he would want to be killed; by Zoro’s hands or Sanji’s feet. His train of thought is the same as Zoro’s though as he wants to put off the inevitable, and perhaps make a quick escape, futile as it may be. He decides he’d rather listen to Zoro for the moment and die by Sanji later. Maybe he’d cook him into something delicious instead of throwing him into the ocean?
“Usopp, you should probably move your scrawny self and get shit done. I won’t tell you again.” Zoro warns with a low growl.
Sanji couldn’t keep his eyes off of Zoro. It had been a couple hours after they’d had sex in the crow’s nest, and Zoro was radiant in his after-glow. He was napping peacefully below the mast, a small smile etched on the edge of his lips.
He loved that stupid idiot, and maybe Zoro deserved something other than sex for helping him earlier.
Sanji decided a fruit salad topped with a sour sauce would be nice, knowing that Zoro’s taste pallet was limited to salty, savory, and sour. He could even make it large enough for the both of them to share in some kind of cheesy couple-like way. Sanji lightly smirked at this, thinking of Zoro in such a domestic manner. How had he come to this?
He sighed as he strode into the kitchen, his heart light and his toes even more so as he reached for the handle to the fridge, and yanked it open.
“ZORO, USOPP, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT? WHY IS ALL THE FRUIT JUST STUFFED IN HERE? I TOLD YOU TO PUT WHATEVER DIDN’T FIT IN STORAGE, YOU DAMN SHIT-HEADS!”
Well. There went his best interntions.
-
Zoro sighed as he heard the splash of Usopp jumping into the sea. They were definitely in for it, as Sanji was still yelling and hadn’t even come out of the galley yet.
“HONESTLY, I GIVE YOU ONE SIMPLE THING TO DO AND YOU FUCK IT UP, HOW THE HELL DID YOU EVEN BRUISE THE BLUEBERRIES THIS BAD?”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. This was going to be a long, sleepless day.