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Emma never thought of being here.
The glitz and glam, living the dreams of that five year old.
"Mama I'm gonna be famous?”
“Really?”
“My name will be there.”
Little Emma pointed at the end credits as they rolled. It was a drama movie.
“Are you sure you're going to be fine?”
Gino Gabardini, a very close friend of hers, was fussing with the dress she was wearing. It was one of his designs.
“Yes Gino, I'll be great .”
Gino could sense that something was off with her, “Mia Stella look at me, please.”
Emma turned to him, tears freezing in her eyes and for the first time since they met, Gino had seen her down. Not the usual “oh I didn't get the role I wanted” down. It was something worse.
“Emma, what's going on with you?”
Emma hated hearing that tone from Gino. It was filled with pity.
“I'm fine…”
“It doesn't seem like it…”
“I'm fine Gino I'm fine.”
Gino Gabardini could clearly see that Emma was not fine but he did not want to push her to her limits.
Little did he know that Emma was already at her limits.
Emma now hates being at the Golden Adam Awards, which was weird because she used to love the awards show.
Maybe it's because she's in a five nominated streak that was beginning to tire her.
She decided not to surround herself with her usual crowd. She wasn't in the mood for them.
So she spent the after party wearing a pink champagne Gino Gabardini dress, sipping champagne as she watched David Tarino enjoy the attention he got. His eyes looked with hers and slightly widened.
She raised her glass at hers and David in return nodded.
Fuck I'm tired.
Ever since she won her first Golden Adam she wonders what would have happened if all of this never happened.
If she didn't step in that bus.
Emma was drunk.
She only drank four glasses of champagne and they were enough to get her off.
She started stumbling through the dance floor. She danced like there was nothing waiting for her tomorrow. The small little black heart near her right eye smeared through the dancing bodies around Emma. She didn't find it in her to care.
The lights were really starting to get through her skin and that she blames herself for leaving the afterparty.
Nothing was making sense to her.
She stepped outside, the nightly fresh air violently entering her lungs. She welcomed it. She took a very deep breath, the deepest one that she hasn't taken ever since.
She started to take off her heels and left them there. Barefooted she started walking to somewhere, somewhere that would not remind her about her fame. To forget that she was Emma the actress. Right now she's Emma the dreamer, the one who longed for Hollywood.
She walks and enjoys the stillness and quietness of Tinseltown until she hears that irritating sound.
Click
Flash
Paparazzi.
As they started clamoring around her she ran away to the nearest building not seeing that they were following her.
She entered the building, seeing that it had a flight of stairs and decided to climb it until she randomly went through somebody's door and locked herself in it.
She turned around, seeing that no one was at home . The soft sounds from the TV sobered her up as he heard the lines.
No one will do this just like him
It was one of the cop movies she had made. She still remembers pestering Jeff about the ordinary life of a cop.
She looked at the kitchen, walked towards the cabinet she opened it and looked at the knife. It was small and perfect.
She walked outside the apartment and towards the toilets.
"It saddens me to inform you viewers that famous actress Emma ******** has passed away. The thirty three year old was found in an apartment while running away from the paparazzi.”
“Oh she died so young.”
“To see Hollywood's brightest star dim is unfortunately a tale as old as time.”
“Did she…?”
“Yes she did.”
“Shit I wonder how Gino feels?”
“Damn all her friends might feel crap.”
“Were there signs?”
“Maybe but they are human, they couldn't have seen them.”