Chapter Text
“It’ll be fine,” Chad patted his husband on the back, attempting to ease his worries. “She loves it there, you know everyone will be excited to see her.” The man packed the last of the wet wipes into the already stuffed diaper bag, slinging it over his shoulder.
Robert sighed. He knew they had no choice, but he still didn’t feel the most comfortable taking their daughter to SDN with them. A whole building filled with heroes of all kinds of abilities wasn’t exactly the safest place for a toddler.
Ever since they had Kavira, they had tried to find better work life balance. Robert had asked Blazer if he could start working from home more, and Chad opted to cut his hours a bit.
They managed the schedule as best as they could; Robert would work from home and look after Kavira Mondays and Wednesdays, and Chad took off Tuesdays. On Fridays their next door neighbor, Maxine, watched Kavira and Beef at their house. Maxine was a retired kindergarten teacher, so it worked out perfectly. I’m bored by myself anyway, Maxine reassured, insisting that she didn’t want any money from the couple, and that watching Kavira and Beef was the highlight of her week.
That left Thursdays, in which they had a couple of options. They’d either ask Chad’s sister if she was free, Chad’s niece Rama loved to see her cousin anyway. Or they asked Chase. And as much as the man hated to admit it, he was getting older. The track star had been taking more days off, labeling them as “I’m tired of everyone’s shit” days. So, when Chase did take one of his infamous “I’m tired of everyone’s shit” days, they’d ask him if he was available to come over and watch Kavira, and subsequently Beef.
“You’re real fucking lucky that I have nothing else better to do!” he’d scold every time, but Robert knew that he secretly loved to watch his two grandchildren. As if the gifts he brought over every time wasn’t proof enough. Kavira had so many toys that their house looked like a daycare, and Beef could only drink out of so many dog bowls.
Unfortunately, this Thursday they weren’t as lucky. Chad’s sister was out of town for one of Rama’s dance competitions, and Chase happened to actually be at work the whole week. They couldn’t really call anyone else, as Chad’s parents lived three hours away and Robert had no surviving family. The only friends they had were the Z Team members, who were also conveniently, heroes.
Chad had been the one to suggest taking Kavira along with them. Robert would be able to watch her at his desk, and they had plenty of reinforcements. Chase would be right next door, and Galen only a couple of cubicles away. And when there was some down time in between calls, Chad could come back to base and fill in.
Not to mention that the whole Z Team loved her. When they threw Kavira’s first birthday party, an actual fist fight broke out in their living room regarding who loved the girl the most. It was honestly kind of sweet, in a way only the Z Team could achieve.
With a heavy heart Robert phoned Blazer, hoping that she would approve of their impromptu family day in the office.
“Hey Robert! What’s up?” Blazer’s jaunty voice sung over the line.
The man on the other end sighed, pinching his nose bridge. “Hi Blazer… I know this is a bit last minute, but we don’t have anyone to watch Kavira today. Would it be okay if we brought her along with us, to the office I mean?” he gritted out between clenched teeth. When the words left his mouth, he started to regret his decision instantly. He kind of hoped that she’d say no, just because he was that nervous.
Almost immediately Blazer’s voice went up an octave, “oh my gosh, yes! You can bring Kavira! I’ll let the team know and- oh! I’ll also make sure to filter in the calls today, so you don’t have too much on your plate!” Robert really should have known that Blazer would be gung-ho about the whole situation, she was a part of that fight at Kavira’s birthday after all.
“That’s great, thanks Blazer,” the exhausted dad hummed, trying to find an extra set of clothes to pack for his daughter. Why wasn’t anything clean?
“No need to thank me! We all love when Kavira comes to the office! See you two- I mean three, soon!” she clicked off the line.
Chad walked over, Kavira settled on his hip playing with some random fidget toy Chase had bought for her. “What’d she say?” he asked curiously.
Robert’s attention was elsewhere, still mentally going over the list of what to pack in his head before they had to be out of the door in fifteen minutes. “She said yes, and that she'd filter the calls.” Oh, there was that left sock he was looking for.
Chad laughed, causing Kavira to look up at him and smile. “See Bobert, I told you they’d be fine with it,” he cooed at his daughter, bouncing her lightly when she giggled in response.
The shorter man cleared his throat, “yeah, obviously I knew Blazer would say yes, but I’m just worried about other things.” He shuddered to think about what the Z Team would do once they got their hands on his daughter. She’d probably be five pounds heavier from all of the treats that they’d feed her within the day.
His husband wandered over to the kitchen, rifling through the pantry, looking for something. “Where’s Kav’s cookie things?” he called from over the kitchen counter. The man had to ensure that his baby was well fed if they were going to the SDN, conveniently devoid of child friendly snacks. “Why are you packing her cookies? Just grab the go go squeeze,” Robert offered, he didn’t want to potentially incentivize any of the members. Especially Chase, Chase was the worst when it came to spoiling Kavira.
“Cookies!” The girl squealed as soon as she heard her baba’s voice name them, “baba, cookies!” Robert could only smack his head, “see what you’ve done? Now she wants the cookies.” He strode over to the two in the kitchen and plucked their daughter from Chad’s arms. “Hey!” the taller said, offended, “they’re not even real cookies, they’re just like… these weird beetroot biscuit things, I don’t even know why we call them cookies.”
The girl, now struggling to get out of Robert’s hold, made grabby hands towards Chad. “Cookies! Baba! Pleaseeee,” she flashed her big brown puppy dog eyes up at the said man, and Robert quickly swooped her up and hoisted her firmly back onto his hip, otherwise he knew Chad would give in immediately.
“No, Kavira. No cookies, you can have a go go squeeze instead,” he gently commanded. “And we call them cookies because I’m not actually gonna give her real cookies, she’s like, two. She’d go feral if we gave her an Oreo.”
Fair Point, Chad thought. Their daughter was notorious for bouncing off the walls every time she had sugar. One time they came home to colorful crayon masterpieces decorating the walls and duplos down the toilet on a Thursday when Chase had been in charge of the toddler. So I gave my grandbaby six goddamn juice boxes? What the hell is wrong with that? She was thirsty, you motherfucker!
From that day forward, they never purchased juice boxes again.
Robert’s watch rang loudly, alerting them to their alarm to leave the house. “Oh crap! We gotta go Chad! You get the stuff, I’ll get her in her seat,” he jogged out of the house, his daughter laughing heartily as she jiggled up and down from the movement.
He ran to their somewhat newly acquired SUV, because there was so fucking way that Chad’s Firebird was going to be their family car, and buckled the toddler into her car seat. He kissed her lightly on the cheek and tossed her some random toy that was lying on the ground for her to occupy herself, while he ran back inside to check on his husband.
“We have to go, Chad! We’re already gonna be late if there’s traffic!” he called, fumbling with his house keys. “Alright, alright, I’m coming! Don’t get your panties in a twist, mechabitch!” his husband yelled back, slipping his gaudy sunglasses over his eyes and sprinting out the door frantically.
Beef skipped over and barked at the couple, as if saying goodbye. “Bye Beef, if an intruder comes to the house I give you permission to maul them to death,” Chad said as he patted the chubby dog on the head. As if Beef could maul anything other than a bowl of food.
Chad jumped into the driver's seat and Robert locked the front door of their house, he clambered in the passenger seat once everything was locked and exhaled for the first time that morning. “Are you ready now? Let’s get going otherwise Blazer is gonna have all three of our asses for being late,” Chad complained, already pulling out of the driveway. The shorter man scoffed, “since when did you care about being late?” he asked incredulously. “Shut up,” Chad punched his husband’s shoulder playfully.
“Shut up!” Kavira sounded from the back seat, clapping her hands joyfully. Robert rolled his eyes, glaring daggers into the man next to him. “Oops…” is all Chad could mutter.
*
They pulled up to the SDN building and bolted out of the car as fast as they possibly could. Chad with the diaper bag slung on one arm and a cooler full of his daughter's snacks on the other. Robert bounded up the stairs as fast as he could, but it was significantly harder when there were 27 extra pounds weighing him down.
When they arrived at their floor, they were greeted by the entire Z Team in front of them, already pushing and shoving their way to get to the toddler. The news must’ve spread fast.
Punch Up was the first to get to Kavira, he practically yanked the girl out of Robert’s arms and cuddled her close to his face. “How’s my lass doing? You’ve grown since I last saw you, you used to be a wee girl…” he sniffled, as if he didn’t just see her last week. “You grow so fast, I can’t believe it. Aye, the wonders of childhood…” he squished the toddler’s cheek against his own.
Coop raced up to the strongman and tripped him with an outstretched leg, effectively knocking him down. He landed on his face, but still held Kavira in his raised hands, the girl perched in his massive palms.
“Give me my protege,” she hissed, scooping the girl in her arms and pointing a knife to Punch Up’s neck. “We don’t have time for your indignant wallowing, there is training that must be done.” Coop was convinced that Kavira was going to be the next deadly assassin of Torrance. The lithe hero was determined to “train” her, which really just meant she gave her a plastic knife to throw around.
Malevola appeared through a portal to her left and unsheathed her sword from her back, “if you really want to “train” her, she’s gonna need more than a plastic knife.” She raised her sword in the air so that the blade caught the sunlight, casting rainbow tinged reflections throughout the office floor. Kavira shrieked happily at the sight, reaching up towards a reflection on the ceiling and shouting, “rainbow!”
Coop scowled, rolling her eyes at Malevola. “It’s a training knife. She’s much too young for something such as this-” the woman plucked a blade from her back, twirling it in the air expertly before launching it at the wall, almost piercing Sonar in the process.
“Hey! Hey! Can’t a man drink his coffee without getting stabbed in the jugular?” the bat hybrid defended, sulking over to his coworkers. “Bat!” the toddler in Coop’s arms pointed. “Yes Kavira, I am a bat, but I am also a Harvard graduate.”
As the three members started to bicker over who would get to be on the first shift of “Kavira duty”, Golem trudged over to Robert, who was at his desk readying for the day’s shift to start.
A muddy hand clamped down on his shoulder, “we should schedule a play date some time,” he perked, looking at the dad with a hopeful smile, “Henry and Kavira would get along.” Robert forced a smile, “yeah, Golem. That would be, er- great. Maybe next time.” He didn’t want to think about another thing he had to do, not that he didn’t trust Golem, but there was only so much a kaiju and a human toddler could do together.
Just then, a blinding ray of light interrupted his thoughts. Prism had created two holograms of herself, and was dancing along to the song she sang during the bar fight at Sardine’s. Not really appropriate for a child, Robert thought.
“My baby’s in the house!” the woman hollered, running over to Sonar, who was now holding Kavira, and attempted to grab her out of his hands. They fought a little before Sonar conceded, sticking his tongue out at Prism in defeat. “Why does my niece look like she got dressed in the dark?” the woman turned up her nose in disgust, “who the hell dressed miss thing today?”
Kavira was wearing blue polka dot leggings, with a pink scalloped skirt over top. She had a shirt that said “daddy’s little princess” on it in glittery purple writing. Her jacket was red with cheetah print all over.
Reluctantly, Robert raised his hand from across the room. Prism snorted, “huh, yeah. Now it makes sense.” She walked over to Chad who was leaning by the dispatcher’s desk, counting the number of go go squeezes in the cooler bag. “One, two, three- wait, this one’s half gone… I don’t think we brought enough,” he mumbled to himself.
“Relax, papa bear. I’ll just buy my little baby some twinks from the vending machine,” she suggested, creating a hologram of a diamond in her hand to entertain the toddler. “Yeah, no. That kid goes batshit insane on sugar. No twinks for her ever.” A distant “Hey!” from Sonar in the background made both Z Team members laugh.
Without notice, a melon basket was placed in front of Robert’s face. The dispatcher looked up to find Phenomaman looming over his desk, Blazer by his side. “Maybe the child of Robert and Chad would prefer to eat a healthy fruit, such as this melon basket. Which I have accidentally re-subscribed to again last month.”
Mandy smiled wearily, “I don’t think it was an accident,” she giggled, “I’m pretty sure he was going through melon withdrawals.” Robert returned the laugh and smiled up at Phenomaman, “that’s actually a great option, but I think the pieces are too big for her.” The alien straightened his back out and nodded like he had just received a mission. “I will acquire a tool to decrease the size of the melons. Do not worry Robert, you and Chad’s child will not be hungry on my watch.” The huge man wandered off in search of a knife.
Robert glanced up again at Blazer, “thanks again for letting us bring Kav, I know the team can be a little… distracted when she’s around.” The blonde hero squeezed the dispatcher’s arm in response, “it’s really no issue Robert, obviously she’s more than welcome here.” And with that she was off, shuffling next to Prism to try and coax the toddler out of the colorful lady’s arms.
Chad seemed to have finally managed to put all of Kavira’s snacks into the break room fridge when he was hit in the chest by a floating baby shoe. “What the fuck-” he rubbed where the shoe pressed against his body when Invisigal appeared out of thin air.
She glared at him, “do I have to do everything around here?” she snapped the bubblegum that was in her mouth. “They’re turning your child into a Barbie out there. Maybe you should go do something about that?” Chad sighed and gave the invisible hero a quick “thanks”, before making his way back out to the office floor.
He found Prism and Malevola rifling through the extra clothes in the diaper bag; Sonar, Punch Up, and Golem forming a circle around the girls to shield them from any unwanted onlookers while they changed the toddler.
“What the fuck are you doing to my child?” Chad sneered, muscling his way into the protection circle. “We’re changing your baby mate, she looks awful. I mean not her, she’s as cute as a button. I mean her clothes.” Mal shrugged nonchalantly, holding up two different shirts, a black and white checkered patterned short sleeve and a light yellow tunic. “Go with the short sleeve, fits more of the vibe,” Prism hummed thoughtfully, already having changed Kavira into cream colored sweats and a denim jean jacket.
Chad just rolled his eyes, “when you all are done playing dress up with my daughter, we actually have a city to protect.” The two women waved him off, “yeah, yeah, who put a stick up your ass?”
Just before the clock struck 9 a.m. Robert saw Waterboy lingering around the elevator, it looked like he was trying to decide whether or not to approach the mini flash mob that was now encircled around Kavira.
The dispatcher got up from his desk and waved to the soggy man, who gave him a small smile back. “Hey Herm, what’re you doing over here?” he patted the man’s shoulder, shaking his hand to rid it of any excess water droplets. “Oh! Oh- uh… nothing! Just, uh, just- wanted… was, um, go-going to see if, Kavira- if I could, uh… ho-hold her…” the stuttering man’s words trailed off as he spoke.
Robert knew that Herm loved Kavira just as much as the rest of the Z Team, but was always afraid that he would hurt her with his powers. Well, not necessarily injure her. More like he didn’t want to make her sopping wet every time he held her, or get her sick if she got cold from his water powers. Robert knew this, hence why he packed extra clothes.
“I packed her extra clothes Herm, you can hold her if you want,” the shorter man smiled, seeing the relief fill Herm’s face. “I mean you can hold her, if you can get to her. She’s currently being swarmed by, well, everyone.”
Robert looked over to the middle of the floor where all of the Z Team was, fighting and pushing each other in order to get a chance to be with Kavira. Everyone except for Phenomaman, he was still on his mission to find a knife.
Herm nodded dutifully and marched over to the conglomerate of heroes. Trying to weasel his way into the crowd of overbearing uncles and aunties.
Just before their shift started, Chad returned to Robert’s desk. He leaned down to give his husband a peck on the lips, pulling his head to rest on the side of his hip. “They’ve already changed our child,” Chad breathed out, as if he had already somewhat expected it. “And they're trying to feed her twinkies from the vending machine,” he chuckled.
Robert just smiled. He was happy that the team loved their daughter, that she had such a supportive community around her. He wasn’t sure how the team would take it when they announced to them they were planning to become parents, but they were welcomed with open arms and lots and lots of inappropriate, but well intentioned, baby gifts.
Robert and Chad were truly some of the luckiest dads in the world.