Chapter Text
[A diary page in messy handwriting, dated April 2nd.]
“To think a commoner would even fathom sitting next to me. Know your place!”
I was sitting in class on the very first day at the Royal Academy when a noble girl several seats over started yelling at a commoner. I put the book I’d been reading down as I was unlikely to be able to concentrate with her yelling, as frustrating as it was. The commoner girl seemed out of it, like she’d been deep asleep.
“Ahh, Claire?” She finally spoke.
“Why I never! Who do you think you are, calling me by my first name?!” The commoner still seemed out of it for a moment before snapping awake.
“Miss Claire.” So that’s what the noble girl’s name is.
“That’s better, a commoner should show respect.”
“Do you remember me?” I couldn’t say this was a question I could answer, I’d always been bad at remembering my classmates’ names, and I just couldn’t care at this time. Not like anyone would want to be friends with a freak like me if they knew how I felt… so why should I bother trying to make friends?
I didn’t even notice I’d begun to spiral into my own negative thoughts when suddenly the entire tone of Claire’s voice changed.
“Wh…wh-wh-what..?!” Claire panicked. “What in the world are you saying?!”
“I’m saying I love you, that’s all,” the commoner girl responded.
Wait, what? I was confused. Looking at her I saw she was perfectly calm and I couldn’t see a hint of malice or deception. Not that I am good at reading people.
After a moment, Claire responded. “Hmph! The likes of a commoner trying to get on my good side? Don't waste your time.”
I didn’t think that was on the commoner’s mind at all. She seems strangely genuine about it. Didn’t they literally just meet, though?
“Wh…wh-what?!” Claire was flustered yet again before she tried to regain her composure. “You…are you saying you bat for that team?” What is she implying… oh! While I knew about men being attracted to other men as a concept, I hadn’t connected the dots yet. Claire was implying that the commoner must be gay.
“Ah, I’m…Well, that doesn’t matter. I mean, it’s irrelevant to your cuteness—and, well, Miss Claire, you are cute.” The commoner nearly said something, but backed out at the last moment. I wonder what she was going to say…
“Eek?!” It appeared that Claire was not used to this kind of behavior at all. That commoner girl was an odd one.
“Miss Claire, you hate me, right?”
“Of course!”
“That’s fine. Please keep teasing me. I love it.” I continued to watch the two bicker for a while. I think I’ll keep an eye on how this develops. I can’t quite pinpoint it, but I find this whole situation intriguing.
[A sentence written in a nicer handwriting, and a different ink color.]
Little did I know when I wrote this entry over half a year ago that these two would change my life forever.
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[Another entry dated the evening of the first day.]
“Are you still awake, [_]?” I heard my roommate whisper from the top bunk.
It was late at night, and my roommate Kyle Smith seemed to have as much trouble as I did sleeping.
“Yeah.” I responded. I was bored being stuck in my own spinning thoughts. “Why do you ask?”
“Just curious. About what your family does, I mean.”
A fairly standard question to get to know someone. Or so I thought at least.
“My mom works at the library in my hometown. She helps manage the collection,” I began to explain. “I got to spend a lot of time with access to the library growing up. As for my brother, he’s off in Sousse studying weird abstract math that I have little hope of understanding and even less of trying to explain.” I heard a chuckle echo through the darkness.
“How about you, Kyle? What’s life like on your end?” He waited a moment before giving his answer.
“I come from an old family of blacksmiths. I love working with metal like that, but a lot of the older folks are very traditional. I want to see what magic can do to improve the process.” I couldn’t see him, but by the enthusiasm in his voice he had found something he truly loved doing.
I hope I can find something like that someday, but I can’t even imagine a future for myself…
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[An entry dated within the first week of classes.]
Over the last few days I’ve noticed that Claire has attempted to bully the commoner (I need to figure out what her name is so I don’t call her “the commoner” forever…) Yet instead of the usual response to bullying, she seemed to enjoy it? Is she a masochist?
What a strange girl. But then, who am I to judge? What kinda guy fantasizes about waking up as a girl every night? Ever since my brother gifted me that collection of fairytales, I haven’t been able to get that one about the “Crosswise Cursed Prince” out of my head…
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[An entry dated around the middle of the first week.]
I’d been watching Claire and the commoner girl bicker once more. It was a sight that never failed to amuse me. Something about the whole situation appealed to me. I couldn’t quite place my finger on it. That’s when a white-haired girl approached the pair.
“Control yourself, Rae. And good morning, Miss Claire.” So that’s her name. Rae. It’s a nice one. That’s when the new girl grabbed Rae by the back of her collar as if she were a misbehaving kitten.
“Mishaaa, let go of me. I’m toying with Miss Claire right now.” Misha’s presence did little to rein Rae’s behavior in, but she scolded Rae when she crossed certain lines. Misha seemed generally unfazed by Rae’s attempts to flirt with Claire. She seems like a great friend who accepts Rae, quirks and all. I continued watching for a while when a new person approached the conversation, a guy with medium length curly blonde hair.
“A bit early to be so deep into your comedy routine, isn’t it?” he said in a soft voice.
“Master Yu…” Claire responded. Yu… where have I heard that name before… Oh! Could he be one of the princes? I had been expecting Rae to get in trouble for being blunt towards Prince Yu, but his reaction was the opposite.
“Rae Taylor, right? You were at the top of the incoming class if I recall correctly. I assumed you would be a bookworm but you’re actually pretty interesting.”
Huh?!? As Misha and Yu began catching up like old friends (which I assumed they were given their familiarity), yet another person approached the growing group, this time a boy with spiky brown hair. Hearing Claire call him “Master Rod” and Yu call him “Brother” told me that he was the first prince. As Rae brushed him off entirely, he first seemed confused, then amused.
“You certainly don’t see her type among the aristocrats much. It seems my father’s policy has given us all a good laugh,” he boasted.
It’s strange, but it seems two of the royal princes enjoy seeing someone be themselves as openly as Rae. I was lost in thought, pondering this strange situation when Claire’s voice echoed through the classroom.
“O-of course not! I don’t care for Master Thane at all!” As soon as the words had been spoken, I saw someone, presumably Thane Bauer, leave the room without a word. Miss Claire followed shortly thereafter. I do not understand nobility or romance…
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[Diary entry dated the day of the first exams. The handwriting is uneasier than usual.]
Today was the worst… It was time for our first exams.
The culture exam was the one I felt the most confident about. I’ve always been a bit of a sponge for random information that is never useful in everyday life, so I managed to provide an answer I felt somewhat confident about in response to most of the questions. I wish I felt certain about it…
Next was the etiquette exam. What a disaster it was. I don’t know how the nobles do it. I’d always been fidgety and easily distracted, but being in an environment where I was supposed to be the exact opposite made it feel worse. I’ve never felt as uncomfortable as I did in that formal attire suit they made me wear… it makes the regular uniforms feel comfortable by comparison. Not that I cared much about my appearance; I only did what I needed to in order to take care of my clothes, and my baths were not as frequent as they should have been. I never liked the ties in the boys uniforms… Maybe I should switch over to the sweater type that Prince Yu uses, but those hug my body more and get uncomfortably sweaty…
Last was the magic exam. This was easily the exam I was most excited for. I never had the chance to use magic before, and it was a subject that had always been fascinating to me. When I held my hand over the device to measure my magic, it seemed I got immensely lucky. I had maximum aptitude for wind magic.
However, when it came to wielding a wand, my aim couldn’t have been worse. I missed every single shot I was given by a wide margin. Out of frustration I accidentally unleashed an area of effect attack that hit the target but was not counted due to not being a magic bullet, which was required by the test. Just when I found something I was actually passionate about… I feel like my hopes have been crushed.
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[An entry dated late at night on the day of the exams.]
“Hey [_], are you doing okay? You seem more down tonight than usual,” I heard Kyle ask out of nowhere.
“Why do you ask?” I said in a somewhat bitter tone. I did not want to deal with this conversation.
“Can’t a guy just be worried about his roommate?” he said in a slightly joking manner. He was trying to lighten the mood, it seemed.
“The exams didn’t go well. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Sorry to hear that. So, I’ve been meaning to ask…” he paused, scrambling to find a subject to change to.
“What’s the deal with that plushie you keep hugging? I’m not judging or anything, stuffed animals just never were my thing.” He pointed at the large gray blob-shaped plushie in my arms that was made to look like a cat. He seems genuinely curious to learn and honest about his intentions. I think…
“When I was younger I was obsessed with cats. I begged my mom to get one, but we couldn’t. She is allergic and begins to sneeze a lot around cats. So as a compromise I got this. I named him Asti. It’s what I was going to name a cat.” I wanted to be thorough with my answer but I felt like I overdid it. When I looked over at him, he just had a smile on his face.
“Sounds like it really means a lot to you. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but this part of you really reminds me of my little sister.”
“Are you making fun of me?”
“Not at all. It’s endearing,” he said before turning back to the desk and continuing whatever he was working on. Like his little sister… Why does that make me so happy? It’s not like I can be a girl…
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[A diary entry dated in the middle of the week following the first exams.]
“As if she wasn’t enough to deal with at the academy, I have to deal with the crass commoner being my maid now!” complained Claire to her two friends. She seemed extra grumpy and was being loud enough so that Rae would be certain to hear her.
“Couldn’t you have just not hired her?” Claire’s pink-haired friend asked.
“I wish, Pepi. I really do. One minute my father is threatening to have her thrown out, the next he insists I have her as my maid and get her under control…” Claire sighed. I could hear that Rae said something but I couldn’t make it out, and Claire just ignored it.
Rae got hired as Claire’s maid and her father insisted? Sounds like there’s one heck of a story behind that.
“I’m so sorry, Miss Claire. If I can help in any way, I’d be happy to!” Claire’s brown-haired friend offered. Claire smiled, seeming genuinely grateful to have their support.
“Thank you, Loretta. But I can handle her myself.”
“I would love to be handled by you, Miss Claire!” Rae interrupted excitedly. Thus their banter continued as usual.
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[A diary entry dated a day later. The handwriting is rough and there’s a few tear stains on the page.]
I was minding my own business, making a few notes in my diary before class started, when two girls, one short with medium-length pink hair and one taller with short brown hair and freckles approached. Aren’t they Claire’s friends?
“Can’t a commoner like you even take care of your uniform? You’re a disgrace to the academy!” the pink one said in a mean tone. I didn’t let it bother me though. I don’t care what I look like. Not like guys get any interesting clothes anyway. Girls get all the nice stuff.
“Hey! Are you even listening?” the brown one said angrily.
“Do you mind? I’m trying to read. I don’t care what I look like. I’m just here at the academy to learn,” I grumbled. I did not have the energy to deal with bullies. I tried to go back to reading when my diary was snatched out of my hands by the brown-haired girl.
“What’s so important that you’re ignoring us?”
“That’s my diary, give it back!” I cried. I didn’t want to cause a scene, but I could not afford to let them read any of it. I can’t let anyone know about these weird thoughts of mine…
“Ooh, a diary, what shall we do with this, Pepi?” The brown one smirked. The pink one grinned back at her.
“Not sure, Loretta. Maybe we can put the pages up around campus, or shall we just burn it?” I was absolutely seething at this point. There was only one thing on my mind: I had to get that diary back.
“I. Said. Give. It. Back!” I shouted at them. I must have lost control of my magic and activated it by accident, because the next thing I knew a huge gust of wind tore through the classroom, scattering loose sheets of paper and other small objects in all directions.
The two girls had been knocked over and looked genuinely frightened of me. I took my diary back, grabbed my things and rushed out of the classroom, hoping to get away and cool my head.
I found a quiet spot to sit and desperately tried to calm down. I hated how volatile and uncontrollable my temper felt sometimes. It always left me feeling like a horrible person. I was also terrified at how easily I lost control of my magic. It had never happened before. Even though those two tried to bully me, I was really glad I hadn’t accidentally hurt them. But the fear I saw in their eyes haunted me. I don’t want to be the kind of person others are afraid of… I hate it…
[A note added later, with clean and evenly spaced handwriting.]
It would be nearly half a year before I learned that this was their first and last attempt to bully a student, as they both got a thorough scolding from Claire for causing a scene and bullying someone who was just minding their own business.
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[A diary entry dated two days after the incident with Pepi and Loretta.]
Two days ago, when I ran out of the classroom to cool my head, I took a walk and found an abandoned corner of campus. Tucked away behind the school warehouse was a little arbor with tables and chairs that had been neglected and was now overgrown.
Yesterday I decided that would be the perfect place to practice my magic in peace and quiet. I went to work on experimenting with different spells I had read about in anticipation of being able to use magic. My aim was still awful, but that only mattered for projectile attacks, not the type of attacks I could summon around a target in a certain area. I also gave levitation and body reinforcement a shot. Levitating myself came easily to me, but I was careful to not go too high and to keep an eye on my magic reserves as I levitated myself up to the roof. Body reinforcement, however, didn’t quite click with me…I wasn’t sure what I was missing.
On the second day of my solo magic practice I recalled a small box I had brought with me to the academy. I’d had this box for years; it had been given to me by a mysterious elderly woman in town who said I could keep it and its contents if I managed to open it without breaking it. Naturally, this locked box seemed like the perfect way to teach myself lockpicking magic. If I could manage that, I wouldn’t need a locksmith to open it.
As I practiced lockpicking, I noticed something unexpected… If I closed my eyes and concentrated, it was as if I could feel the magic energy being used around me. It’s like I can see the shape the magic forms and how it’s constructed. I might be able to analyze other people’s magic with this. Using this newfound skill, I managed to figure out how to open the lock on the box by filling the interior of the lock’s mechanism with a little bit of magic so I could feel it as I tried moving different parts of the mechanism.
Click!
There it was–the box was now open, and inside was a set of earrings inlaid with purple gemstones. Amethysts, I believe? They look gorgeous. I wasn’t sure what to do with them. They were too shiny and pretty to give away, but I didn’t think I could pull off wearing them…
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[A diary entry dated the day of the slime attack.]
Today we had a magic lesson with Mr Torrid. He gave general instructions to the entire class and then pulled all students with wind magic aptitude aside for more detailed instruction, as he was unable to use wind magic. I found the information he gave to be quite useful, and perhaps it will help me figure out more spells I’ve heard about, including boosting other people’s magic.
Unfortunately, the good times abruptly came to an end when a truly enormous water slime attacked the area we were practicing in. Rae swiftly penned it in with a set of earth walls, and Mr Torrid instructed the crowd to all open fire at once in order to defeat it. However, I completely froze… I couldn’t even move a muscle to try to help fight it (not that I could’ve hit it…) or run away even though it was right in front of me. I was panicking harder than I ever had before. What kind of a mage am I if I’m useless in a fight?
Then I heard that awful screech as the walls Rae set up crumbled. I believe it was the “Hateful Cry” ability that some monsters have. Now I was doubly frozen in place… A few moments later, I felt someone pulling me away from the slime. I looked over and saw a girl I’d seen in some of my classes pulling me away by my wrist.
“We have to get out of here!” she shouted. I was still so out of it that I was barely able to follow what was going on. I watched in the distance as Claire and Thane defeated the slime by combining their magic so that Claire’s fire magic had enough raw power to overcome the water slime’s inherent fire resistance. It looked as though Claire did all the work, but I knew Thane’s boost was what made Claire’s attack effective.
As I regained my bearings, I wanted to thank the girl who had helped me.
“Thanks for pulling me out of there. I’d likely have gotten hurt if not for you.”
“No worries! I couldn’t just leave someone in danger like that. Though isn’t the guy normally supposed to save the girl, not the other way around?” She laughed. She was clearly trying to be funny, yet as innocuous as her joke seemed, it hurt to hear.
Why do I feel so awful about this? Being hit by the slime might have been less painful…
I spent the rest of the day quite depressed about the whole situation.