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Steve was acting strange.
This entire week he has been acting strange and it was starting to worry you. Normally he was this sweet guy who shows up ten minutes before the date holding flowers at your doorstep because he believes “it’s not right to keep a lady waiting”. Yet here you were waiting in your living room for the last half hour waiting for him to take you to a fancy restaurant. What if something had happened to him? Is he okay? What if he got into a car accident?
Your stomach dropped at the thought of that, almost pushing out the breakfast you had this morning.
You eventually give up on the idea of him coming for you. Rushing into your room, finding it pointless to still be in the dress you bought yesterday for this exact date. You start to feel the amount of makeup you had put on, feeling every single product sinked into your skin.You get a glimpse at the mirror seeing your tear stained face ruining your makeup you took two hours to perfect. Grabbing a Wet-Nap wanting to wipe everything off as quickly as possible.
________
You were sad. And Hungry.
You were sad and hungry. There was nothing in your fridge due to the fact you had not gone grocery shopping in two weeks and you just ate the last bit this morning. You debated if you should go out in public and buy a simple TV dinner and cry while eating it or cry yourself to sleep and ignore your hunger for night.
Choosing to grab your keys without a care in the world for anyone who you might know seeing you look a mess, you drive to the grocery store. The short drive to the grocery store while listening to music did not help your mind that your boyfriend is probably going to break up with you due to nothing but sappy love songs playing on the radio. It couldn’t be more of a perfect moment for you, ultimately choosing to turn off the radio and drive in silence.
Exiting the store with your TV dinner and drink of choice being diet coke you spot a familiar Beamer start rolling into the parking lot. You walk toward your car, getting a clearer view of both the vehicle and the people inside. The BMW’s engine shuts off, and Steve Harrington steps out, along with Nancy Wheeler and Robin Buckley.
“I just don’t understand why I can’t adjust the AC”
“Trust me I tried changing the AC multiple times in Steve’s car. He never lets me, only the mysterious girl he’s been hiding for months now can change anything she wants in the car.”
“Wait, how do you know she can change the AC?”
“Because I noticed when the last week I was in his car it was at 78 and when I tried changing it the week before that from 67 to 79 he got mad and said that it was too hot even for the winter”
You couldn’t even tell which out of the two said what because your vision was too busy fighting off the tears coming out when you saw him in his car and not with you on your supposed fancy dinner date. Too stunned to speak or even from your place, your eyes finally lock with him.
His face changes from an annoyed expression to shock. You couldn’t tell if he was shocked from seeing you or shocked because you were not supposed to see him right now. He rushes to you, shouting your name.
You finally force yourself to move, hurrying to open the car door as the world around you starts to close in. He gets to you before you can step inside, he says your name once again but you can’t bear to look at him right now.
You don’t know what you feel because you feel every emotion all at once. Happy because at least you know he’s alive, angry because you wasted hours on getting ready just for him to not show up and most of all disappointed because he lied to you.
God knows if he lied where he's been when he bailed on you all week, when he avoided his calls, and instead of telling you the truth he’s silent and sneaking off with best friend and his ex-girlfriend.
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“I’m going to be driving to the grocery store to get us all snacks”
“I’ll go, I need to stretch my legs a bit” Robin says as she puts her arms in front of her, joining her fingers together and stretching her neck on each side.
“Me too, since I have a feeling you’re not gonna grab anything I’ll like” Nancy says
In the car Robin and Nancy talk amongst themselves while Steve drifts off thinking how he’s going to make this up to you, again. Bailing on you for the third time, he was having a hard time coming up with another excuse for you to believe.
At least an excuse for you to not bring it up again. Steve parks his car turning off the ignition, finally coming back to reality when he hears his name being talked about in their conversation.
“I just don’t understand why I can’t adjust the AC” Nancy says as she wraps her arms around herself to try and make herself be a little warmer as she steps out.
“Trust me I tried changing the AC multiple times in Steve’s car. He never lets me, only the mysterious girl he’s been hiding for months now can change anything she wants in the car.” Robin whispers at the end of the sentence.
“Wait, how do you know she can change the AC?”
Steve was about to say something back in retaliation at Robin’s comment until his eyes land on you. He knows this looks bad in your eyes. He knows that it looks like he’s blowing you off for his best friend and his ex-girlfriend.
Which is why he rushes towards you, yelling out your name. Hurrying to open your car door he blocks you from entering. He says your name again, he notices that when he calls your name you can't look at him. You look at the ground, the sky, even the air around him, anywhere but directly at him.
His voice softens when he realizes what’s happening. “Hey,” he says gently, stepping closer but not touching you. “Look at me. Please.” He notices that your hands tighten around the car door, your chest rising too fast, he notices that you’re fighting back tears, he notices everything that you’re doing right now and it kills him because he's the reason why.
You finally look at him, “Please just let me go home Steve.” You say quietly, you couldn’t even finish the sentence looking at him, looking back at the ground. “Please Steve.” You say one more time, begging for this humiliation ritual to end. Taking a deep breath he lets go of the car door, moving aside to let you go.
Hurriedly you enter the car, turning the engine on. He closes the door for you, watching you as you back out of the parking spot and head home.
“Steve?” Robin calls, concerned creeping into her voice. Steve doesn’t look back, only shakes his head. “Go ahead and get whatever you want. I’ll wait in the car,” he says, slipping his card into Nancy’s hand.
By the time Nancy and Robin finished grabbing snacks for the group to eat. Steve had stopped talking altogether. After his interaction with you, he distanced himself from the group, left alone with the weight of his guilt for lying to you.
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It was almost two in the morning but your brain could not rest. Instead it replayed the moment you saw Steve ditched you without any warning.
The TV dinner being the sole reason for going to the grocery store was left at your kitchen counter. Your hunger grew but the thought of stomaching anything done at the moment did not occupy your mind at the moment. The seven months you spent with Steve all feel like a lie.
How could he treat you like you were someone special, just for him to lie straight through his teeth? Was everything you did with one another a lie?
Was he bored of you now?
You freeze, the lamp cord still in your hand, listening to the faint hum in the walls shift into something sharper, almost whining. When the lights finally steady, the room feels wrong, too quiet, too still. Like something is waiting for you to move first.
You take a cautious step back, and the bulbs stutter again, plunging the room into brief darkness. The lights snap back on, bright and unforgiving, revealing nothing out of place except the unplugged lamp at your feet, its switch clicking softly on its own. A chill crawls up your spine as the flickering grows uneven, like the lights are struggling to breathe.
You hear your name being called out from outside of your apartment. Someone starts furiously knocking on your door. You rush down the hallway, they scream out your name again.
It sounds like Steve.
“Go away Steve, I really don’t want to talk right now”
“It’s urgent!” Steve yells with urgency, his arm on the door as he just hopes you just forget what happened at the grocery store and let him check to make sure you’re okay.
Silent falls between the two of them, his head rests on the door for a moment longer until he hears the locks of her door open, there you stand with your arms crossed waiting for him to say what was so urgent.
“Are you hurt?” He comes close to you frantically, looking for any sort of cuts or bruises.
“What are you talking about?”
“I drove over here to talk to you but then I saw your lights start flickering so I thought something bad happened to you.”
“Yes I’m fine, why wouldn’t I? And why would you even care if you don’t even care to leave a message.” You push his hands off of you, the sadness you felt merely two minutes ago now replaced with anger again.
His eyes show guilt, at least that’s what you want to think. Reminding yourself it’s just an act; he was lying once again. He doesn’t feel guilty, he just feels sorry for himself for getting caught. You were stupid, stupid enough to think Steve had changed.
“It’s not what it looks like.”
“Oh please, if you’re going to lie to my face, at least have a different approach.”
“No, please listen…just give me a chance to explain myself okay.” His voice goes quiet, wanting to reach out to your hand. His touch feels like fire, him standing right in front of you starts to feel like there is no air to breathe.
“Johnathan and Nancy are going through something right now, so Robin and I went to grab some snacks to cheer her up, Robin was going to come with me but Nancy wanted space from him, so she rode with us to clear her head” He wants you to look at him in the eyes to see the truth in him.
“I should’ve called, I know and I’ve been a shitty boyfriend not telling you anything and just leaving you in the dark.”
“You didn’t tell me anything and ditched me because your ex-girlfriend was sad?” You grow even angrier.
“Am I just nothing to you? We’ve been dating for six months already and yet to meet your friends, and they don’t even know me. You don’t even talk about me Steve! Am I just a secret to you? Steve, what is your end goal with me? Is it to just have sex with me? Did your plan take a detour because I told you I wanted to take things slow and now your plan is backfiring so you’re trying to come up with this lame ass excuse?” You push him. He takes it because he knows he deserves it. He doesn’t deserve you.
“That’s not it at all! You’re all I ever wanted! You’re like a shot of espresso; you’re a breath of fresh air for me. When I think of you every single worry is gone from my mind because you’re this chemical in my brain that intoxicates my entire being. I never told them about you because I knew that someday this would end. I love you but I'm not the one for you because I don’t deserve you, I never will. You’re going to find a man who has his life together, a stable job to give you whatever you want. I’m not that guy and I’m sorry.”
“You don’t get to decide that for me.”
The silence takes over the both of you. You want him, you want to forgive him. How can he say those words, when all you ever wanted was him.
He notices something you don't, you’re too lost in your head to notice the picture frame thud to the floor.
“Did you hear that?” A low rumble followed, steady and deep, making the walls vibrate. Lights swayed slightly, and a few items on shelves shifted out of place.
Then the shaking grew stronger. The ground moved in short, uneven jolts, enough to make it hard to stand still. Dishes clinked together in the cabinets, another picture slipped off the wall, landing face down on the floor.
Steve quickly pulls you towards him, he holds you under the door frame. After several seconds, the movement slowed. The rumbling faded, leaving behind a faint tremor underfoot. Your head slowly looks up, then to each other. His hands are still holding you tight, his eyes are only on you because that’s all he cares about. He cares about you the most and will always put your wellbeing first. He wants you to live a normal and happy life, he knows that he can’t give you that, but he just can’t seem to give you up. He thinks he’s selfish for it, for leaning in when he knows he shouldn’t, but you don’t back away either. And in that moment, he forgets everything in his life he has ever fucked up, he thinks for just a split second that maybe he can be better for you.
Your lips touch, he still holds back from you until he finally gives into the kiss because he never say no to you.