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It was meant to be any other day on shift.
Calls, paperwork, hanging out in the common room. The mood was a whole lot better with Pridgen gone and Boden back, so Casey no longer dreaded going to work and facing the beast. He also made Severide promise to never give him advice again – what had he been thinking hooking up Pridgen’s ex-wife and then not breaking up with her asap when he found out about Pridgen? That was doomed to scar him for life and nearly cost him his job.
That was why he doesn’t do one-night-stands.
He knows that he’s been … lost… between Dawson choosing to be a candidate on his Truck over dating him and losing the boys again when Heather got out of prison just in time for Christmas. It’s not like Heather cut him out of their lives (the first time, she tried, but the boys had reacted so negatively to going to Florida that she opted to stay in Chicago after all), but it wasn’t the same. Visiting wasn’t the same as having them stay with him and though everyone thought it was like getting his freedom back to not have to worry about them, he still would rather have them.
But the boys deserve to have their mother if they can’t have their father, and he can’t let his disappointment be the reason that they don’t have a mother.
So, he follows Severide’s lead and tries to drown his sorrows in beer and women, but unlike Severide’s good luck with that, Casey’s life nearly gets destroyed.
So, that failed.
Instead, he just focuses on the job. He tries to find construction gigs. He considers taking some classes or something else to entertain him and fill up his time.
He ignores the way Severide looks at him (like he’s some sort of wounded puppy) whenever he lets himself stop for a second and he thinks about everything that he lost.
He was getting back to normal.
He was.
Until a shift like any other shift turns his world on its axis.
It’s three in the morning.
The call for a multi-vehicle accident comes through.
Drunk driver. Of course.
There’s another Truck on scene, focusing on one side of the pileup – so Casey’s Truck and Squad focus on the other. The multiple ambos waiting for the people in the cars ready to be taken to Med.
At least a couple were surprisingly fine, but as he gets to the main source of the pile-up, his stomach drops. It takes him two seconds to recognize the car with the blonde head at the wheel – Heather.
She’s knocked out but he can see the booze bottles in the passenger seat, worse yet though is soft, “Uncle Matt?” he hears from the backseat.
“Griffin?” Casey asks, alarmed. He sees Severide on the other side, turnaround from the other car (Squad’s got it covered), eyes wide as he focuses on Ben beside his brother.
“Fuck,” Severide says, and they both go into action.
“Hold on, alright, we’re going to get you out of here,” Casey assures him, but Griffin’s wide eyes have turned from him to Ben, who looks to be knocked out. He’s trying to reach for him but the seatbelt to biting into his skin.
“Ben, Ben! Wake up for me, buddy,” Severide says as they both get the doors off and carrying the boys to the ambos.
He can hear Brett and Dawson talking about Griffin, as the other paramedics look at Ben. He’s not responding and Griffin’s losing consciousness.
“Hey, hey, Grif, stay with me, alright?” Casey prompts, trying to keep the fear out of his voice.
“We gotta get him to the hospital,” Brett says. “You gotta let go.”
“Noooo,” Griffin yells.
“Chief?” Casey asks. It doesn’t matter what the answer is – he’s getting in that Ambo, but luckily Boden seems to know that.
“Go with him, Casey,” Boden answers, and he can tell with just a look, Herrmann’ll take over and Severide will go with Ben.
“Let’s go.”
***
The ride is intense, and he vaguely registers the transfer of information about vitals and the situation, too focused on Griffin, who was barely conscious.
There’s chaos as the doctors assess him.
One of the doctors is telling him to stay with him, numbers flying that he can’t make sense of right now, and in the chaos Casey’s too focused on Griffin’s whose right hand is reaching for him, while his left hand is bruised or broken because it’s limp by his side.
“Uncle Matt…”
“I’m here, kid.”
He doesn’t pay attention to much of anything until the dark-haired doctor says, “We have to get him up to surgery to get this glass out. You’re going to have to let go.”
It takes him a second before a hand is on his arm, “Matt, you have to let the doctors do their job.”
It’s Brett. Looking at him concerned.
“Right,” he says, blinking. “You’re going to be alright, Grif, they’re going to take good care of you, okay?”
“Don’t leave…”
“I won’t, kid. Promise.”
He’s taken away leaving Casey two seconds to calm himself before he steps out of the room and sees Ben and Severide. Well, Ben for just a second before he’s taken to a different OR.
“Ben?”
Severide shakes his head. “All that time with Shay and I can’t make heads or tails of anything they said. Normally, I would, but it’s Ben. My mind’s been spinning since I saw them in the car. He wasn’t conscious and I think there was something about a brain bleed and pressure. Fuck, Case.”
He puts his head in his hands as Casey does the same. What the fuck happened to his normal shift plans?
There’s a couple of nurses that lead them to the floor with the OR waiting room. Everyone’s there, waiting, evidently knowing that Casey and Severide weren’t leaving without knowing about the boys.
Casey’s their legal guardian with Severide as a backup since Heather was also in the accident. He knows that he can’t leave and probably needs to make sure the hospital staff know that he’s more than just a firefighter here.
He should also probably offer to let the Trucks leave without them. It’ll be hours before they probably hear anything and it’s approaching five with shift ending in three hours. Everyone deserves sleep, even if he’s not going to get any. Even if the boys are fine, there’s going to be so much shit that he’s going to have to go through. He knows that Heather fucked up big – she got lucky the last two times, but this time?
This was far worse. Open bottles, her sons in the car, and driving without a license. He knows at least one driver didn’t make it, and with her state… she’ll definitely be the one that takes the fall.
He moves to the Chief, Severide in step with him.
“Chief, this – it’s going to be more than just waiting out the surgeries. It’s early or late and shift ends in three hours…”
Boden seems to get what he’s saying and even if the others protest that they should stay to support him (them), Boden knows he’s right.
Herrmann and Capp both intend to step in for him and Severide and promising to at least bring his truck by after shift ends.
At least that’s one less thing on his mind.
***
It felt like the longest and shortest few hours of his life.
He kept trying to pace out his frustrations and then collapsing in the chair with his head in his hands. He knows that he should probably be working out some sort of plan or something, and he’s not at all surprised when the Fire Chaplain appears with Herrmann, his bag and his keys.
Capp had been the one to bring him over with Severide’s bag as well.
Regardless of Casey’s offered, “You don’t have to stay,” both the Chaplain and Herrmann shake their heads. They aren’t going anywhere.
Capp, on the other hand, takes the nod from Severide and leaves. He supports Severide, of course, but Severide’s never been quite as close to his team as Casey has been to his own.
“Lieutenants?” a voice asks.
Casey and Severide are on their feet instantly. The doctors – a brown-haired man and a dark-almost-black-haired one are together. If Casey recalls right, one of them had been with Ben while the other had been with Griffin.
“As I understand it, based on the Uncle Matt, I assume you’re family?” the darker haired one asks.
Casey nods. “Matt Casey, Kelly Severide, we’re the boys’ godfathers and legal guardians in the event that something happens to Heather – considering she was in the accident…”
Shit, he hadn’t even thought about her. Other than how much trouble she’s in.
He nods. “I’m Dr. Rhodes, I was working on Griffin – he has some stitches from the glass that cut him, a couple of broken ribs, and a pretty severe concussion, but he’s going to be fine in long run. He’s probably looking at minimum six weeks of taking it easy, but he should be okay.”
Casey lets out a relieved breath, as Severide asks, “And Ben?”
The other doctor says, “I’m Dr. Abrams. Ben had some bleeding and swelling in his brain from where he hit the door with his head, but we were able to reduce the swelling, we’ll probably have to keep an eye on him for a couple of days, but I am optimistic that he’ll make a full recovery. He also broke his arm, and we’ve placed a cast, but obviously more concerned about the injury to his brain.”
“Optimistic? When will we know…”
“When he wakes, we’ll know more. For now, they’re both together in a recovery room.”
“Can we see them?”
“Of course.”
***
Seeing the boys, even completely out of it, helped ease some of his stress, but damn, the boys are too young to be in this situation right now.
The worst of it is knowing that it’s probably going to take a while for the boys to wake up and to know that Ben’s truly okay. He looks so tiny and fragile, they both do.
He vaguely hears Herrmann or the Chaplain offering support – whether it’s about the boys making it through it all or giving platitudes about the boys being tough and getting through this, he couldn’t tell you. All he really hears is buzzing of voices, not the words coming out of their mouths.
All he could think about was the boys – in physical pain now (and weeks to come) from the accident, and emotional pain in the future because there’s no way they’re ever going back to Heather.
He should probably ask about her. Call her lawyer or something.
But all he could think is how she could possibly do this to the boys again.
The first time was a mistake. The anniversary just hit too hard.
The second was a slip up after months of being clean.
This time – it’s a pattern.
Less than three months since the last time.
And if he’s completely honest, he’s fucking pissed off.
She’s their mother – she’s supposed to put them first. Or at the very least, reach out to someone for help. But she never did.
Just like his own mother, she tried to handle it on her own until it was too late. And then fucked up her kids’ lives.
Despite his best efforts to help – if only so the boys didn’t end up like this – it wasn’t enough and now… he’s never looked up the penalties for drunk driving, but there’s no way that she ends up with another six months – it’s going to be massively more than that.
“Is there anything we – the crew, me and Cindy, anyone – can do to help?” Herrmann asks, jarring him from his thoughts.
Is there anything they can do to help? Casey isn’t sure.
“We have the paperwork to indicate that we’re the boys’ legal guardians, I’m sure the hospital will want to confirm more than just our word,” Severide says. “If you could get that from our place?”
“We should probably go and get some things ourselves,” Casey offers, but frankly he doesn’t want to leave. “Clothes and things.”
“I’m not leaving them, are you?” Severide asks, but even without his shake of the head, Herrmann interjects.
“I could get you some things. I’d be happy to help just send me a list.”
“Thanks, Herrmann.”
***
Sometime later, Herrmann’s gone and come back and gone again because it’s late. Other members of Squad and Truck have been by – they clearly have some sort of schedule to visit since there’s no real overlap and they’re never alone.
It’s when Cruz shows up with coffee and sandwiches that the boys have been moved to a room on the Peds floor, and they get an unpleasant visitor – she’s a lovely woman, Casey’s sure, but he’s never been a fan of DCFS.
“Mister Casey, we’re here again,” the woman – Vera Gantry – says after introducing herself to Severide. He’d been so in and out when he’d come to stay with them post-Shay that he hadn’t really been a part of the process last time. “I understand that you’ve already intended to assume custody.”
“Yes. Nothing’s changed except Kelly lives with me now – he was there for part of the last time, and he would live with the boys as well, but as he’s also their godfather, and would pass the background check, that shouldn’t be a problem.”
“I assume you two aren’t married?”
“Just friends, so yes, I realize that paperwork-wise, it’ll say only me as their guardian until he can pass the foster classes and whatnot.”
He knows that he and Severide can get papers drawn up once everything is settled and they know the extent of Heather’s jail time (they had gotten confirmation that she was somehow fine except the cut on her head and bruised ribs from the steering wheel and was currently handcuffed in a room on another floor).
“At least for now, it would be more difficult, but we could work out a co-adoption if you truly intend to raise the boys together or one of you could adopt one while the other adopts the other, but that’s a ways away.”
“So, Heather really is going away for a while?” Severide asks, uncertainly.
He’s clearly confused and tempering his anger at Heather, but Casey knows that there’s a part of him that thought Heather would somehow get out of it without a lot of time. That maybe this was temporary, assumed custody.
Vera looks down at the boys, still out of it. “I don’t know what the police might decide as far as charges, but as far as DCFS goes, she is clearly a danger to her children. The previous two times, she was physically unable to take the boys due to prison, but she made an active choice – to drive drunk with her boys in the car. It warrants immediate removal and even if she doesn’t go to prison, a big if, it’s going to be a process before she would be allowed to have them back. We would probably require rehab and proof that she can stay sober for some time before giving the boys back.”
Casey sighs. “Honestly, Sev, there’s a pretty good chance that she spends years in prison, the boys might be adults by the time she gets out. It’s her third time – second with fatalities, on probation, on a suspended license and with her boys in the car. She took a deal the first time where she served three months and the rest of it was suspended, but she was supposed to do fifteen months – so at least a year. The second time she was meant to do three years, but again, after six months, a suspended sentence, so it’ll be at least three years from those two unless she gets a really great judge.”
“And the re-unification process is at a minimum six months – usually a year.”
Severide blinks at him. He clearly hadn’t really thought much beyond the boys visiting while they healed. It’s a lot to think about, but Casey’s been through this before.
He knows better.
He knows that minimum he’s going to be responsible for the boys for at least five years, but likely far more. He also knows that Severide might struggle with the commitment this is going to be, but he knows how much he cares about the boys.
And Casey? He doesn’t want to do this alone.
Vera asks some standard questions that Casey knows well enough by now but surprises Severide, even if he lets Casey take the lead and then she grants him custody and tells him that she’ll be by their home once the boys have settled in for the home visit and advises Severide to take the fostering courses that Casey’s taken.
Then, she takes her leave.
***
It’s a long day into a long night, Griffin had awakened once or twice and the doctor checked him out, and assuring them that he’s okay, but sometime early the next morning, he wakes to a small voice groaning and saying, “Uncle…”
“Hey, Ben, buddy,” Severide says, obviously a little less out of it than Casey is, and he jerks himself awake. “We’re here.”
“Ben?”
Before either of them could suggest going to get the doctor or a nurse, Dr. Abrams enters the room and does some checks on Ben. He asks some questions, and it seems to take forever before he says, “I think Ben’s going to be just fine. He’ll probably have to stay a couple of days, but he’s lucky, it seems there won’t be any long-term damage.”
With Dr. Rhodes having already been by late last night to check on Griffin and confirm that with rest and time that he’s going to be fine, there’s a rush of relief that runs through Casey.
The boys are going to be okay.
They’re going to be just fine. Scarred from Heather’s actions, no doubt, but they’re not going to die from the accident or be physically changed.
“You’re going to be just fine,” Casey says as Severide runs a hand through Ben’s hair. “Just fine.”
“It’s great news.”
***
Ben hadn’t stayed awake for very long, allowing both of them to fall back asleep until a more reasonable hour, at which point both Griffin and Ben are more awake and doing much better.
They’re chatting about various things – have visitors from the firehouse – Otis and Cruz come together to tell them pointblank that they stink.
“Okay, well, we were on shift and then, we’ve been here –” Severide starts.
“And you stink, maybe you should go home and take a shower.”
“We don’t really want to leave,” Casey states. “The boys –”
“It’s okay, Uncle Matt, you do kinda stink,” Griffin offers.
“We’ll stay with them – keep them entertained,” Cruz offers.
He shares a look with Severide. “Fine, but only because we don’t want to stink up the boys’ hospital room.”
“Good.”
***
Finally. Finally.
The boys are coming home.
He’s been in touch with Heather, who was transferred to a prison the day before. A brief, tense discussion with her lawyer and then, DCFS, confirmed what Casey already knew… she’s going away for a long time.
Twenty years. Minimum.
A fucking long-ass time.
Griffin wouldn’t even look at her, he was so angry. Ben cried, partially because Heather was crying. It was hard to get him to stop, but Casey got it. There had been a part of him that wanted to cry when his mom went away, and he was a lot older.
Of course that might’ve been losing both of his parents at the same time. Slowly realizing that Christie wasn’t going to take him in, that his father’s family didn’t care enough about him to do it, either, and his life would be chaos. He was on his own at fifteen.
But he’s not going to let that be the outcome for the boys.
He’s going to give them a loving and stable home – hopefully with Severide’s support. Severide seems a bit overwhelmed, but Casey had been overwhelmed the first time and he’s still sorting a few things out himself with his own life considering that just a couple of months ago, he got married in Vegas to hide from his pain of losing Shay.
He'll get the hang of it – Casey hopes. Either way, Casey’s here.
He’s relieved that they changed from bunkbeds to twin beds so neither of them will have to climb down a ladder. He’s also relieved that their room is still decorated for them, so they feel more at home because it is their home now. Not for a couple of days or weeks or months, but for years.
Years. Fuck that’s still sinking in a bit.
He makes it down the stairs to the kitchen, where Severide’s waiting with a beer. He holds one out for him, which Casey takes gratefully as he sits on a stool at the island.
“Boys get down, okay?”
“For now, but they’re both in pain so I don’t expect them to stay down all night,” Casey states, the beer not nearly as helpful as he hoped.
“Spoke to Boden, it’s easy enough to cover for the next week or so.”
Casey nods. “The boys’ll be out of school for a bit, and I’ll probably take some furlough while they are. Herrmann said he’s good to lead and we’ll pull in floaters.”
Severide nods. “I could reach out to another Squad lieutenant and get coverage or have Capp take over and get Welch to step in, again. He’s still floating.”
Casey gives him a look. “It might be better if we stagger the furlough – until the boys are healed.”
“… and you still don’t wanna see Welch around the firehouse?” Severide half-jokes.
Casey rolls his eyes and takes a drink. “He backed you and saved my job, it’s not – if anything, he should’ve probably gotten to stay on Squad entirely instead of floating elsewhere.”
“So, what was with the look?”
“The thought of asking him for a favor isn’t exactly appealing,” Casey admits. “But the boys need us right now – so none of that really matters.”
Severide nods. “I think staggering the furlough is a good idea, but I’ll make some calls tomorrow.”
Casey nods and it’s quiet. Both of them drinking their beers and thinking about things.
There’s a part of him that’s still reeling from everything. The accident, the time in the hospital, Heather’s sentence, the boys are his for … the rest of their childhood.
It’s insane and there’s so much that he has to think about, figure out. So much of his life is going to change and this time… it’s not for a couple of months or even a year, it’s for the next twelve years of his life (well, likely, more than that but Ben’s only six) so that’s minimum.
He’s not even sure that he’s really processed anything between being on watch and then at the hospital and now here.
It doesn’t help that he’s barely slept.
“I don’t think that drink helped much, I’m thinking you – we – both need sleep more.”
Casey huffs a laugh. “Yeah, definitely.” He pushes himself to his feet. “Night, Sev.”
“Night, Case.”
***
There’s a lot of situating going on over the next two weeks. The first week, they were both off, which allowed them to tag team the boys and their new situation, but the second week, they start the furlough stack.
Severide goes on watch, and Casey watches over the boys. Gets the legalities all sorted. Gets the boys all situated at the house. Gets them what they need, talks to the school to get them caught up from their time off.
For the most part, things are … not exactly easy but Griffin and Ben have lived with him often enough in the last two years that a rhythm has formed easily enough. Both were happy enough and healing well, ready to return to school and Casey had gotten all the paperwork in so there wouldn’t be any trouble (or at least there shouldn’t be).
Severide seemed to be doing alright with the boys. Happy, he thinks, that he’s allowed to be around them again (Heather hasn’t been too eager or happy about Severide because she still blames him for some reason, but Casey is and so is Severide).
It helps a lot.
There’s just one problem… Griffin’s been even more surly and angry than he’d been the first time this happened.
Casey gets it. Kid’s been through hell and back and unlike Ben, he can remember all of the shit that has gone down.
If anyone has a right to be angry it’s Griffin.
The hard part was that it came out suddenly. He would just get angry about the stupidest things, and it was hard to predict what would set him off.
So, when he storms off, again, to his room because Casey tells him to do his homework and he doesn’t want to, Casey tries to remind himself that it’s not Casey so much as being angry at the world.
He takes a deep breath and another one and tries not to show Ben his frustration as Severide sits with him do his homework, which isn’t much since he’s in Kindergarten. Severide gives him a questioning look, but he shakes his head. He’ll deal with this.
After five minutes, he goes up the stairs.
“Griffin?” Casey questions, knocking on the closed door of the boys’ room. “Can I come in?”
There’s a huff that Casey takes as a yes because the door’s unlocked when he tries the handle.
“Hey, kid,” he says, making his way into the room, which is crowded and filled with everything both boys need. It’s a lot of stuff in a small space and it makes this even more awkward as he moves to sit beside him on his twin bed.
Giffin isn’t looking at him. Instead, he’s twisting the ears of the teddy bear that had been Andy’s last gift to him (he’d bought him something because he’d missed his first day of kindergarten due to being on watch and had died days later), it had a little fireman outfit on, and Griffin had named him Hot Stuff in honor of that.
“Listen, I know this isn’t easy, but I am trying my best here, and I just –”
“It’s not fair!” Griffin bursts out. “First, I lose my dad, then my mom, and now my own room? It’s not fair! I keep losing everything!”
Casey pulls him into a side hug, which he surprisingly accepts. “I know, I know, it’s not. None of this is fair to you or Ben, and I wish I could make it all better, but there’s only so much I can do.”
Griffin doesn’t respond as he cries into Casey’s shirt as rubs his hand down Griffin’s arm. There really isn’t anything he can do besides love the boys and weather the storm. He’s been through a lot and there’s no bringing Andy or Heather back, and even if he thinks Heather deserves prison, it doesn’t mean that the boys deserve this.
It doesn’t help that Heather’s parents and sister didn’t want custody of the boys, which had hurt Griffin the first time when he overheard an argument about the custody issue. He gets it, he’s been there, and that’s why he’s made it so clear that he wants them and loves them and will do whatever he can for them.
He’s sure that’s part of his anger, too. Even if he focuses on the other stuff, Casey’s sure that’s on Griffin’s mind, too. He just can’t express it. Maybe he’s afraid if he does then Casey wouldn’t want him, either, but he does, always.
He’ll always want to do whatever he can for the boys because he loves them.
“We’re going to figure things out, okay? You and me, Ben and Uncle Kelly – it’s going to take time, but we’re going to figure it out. And even though it’s not fair and it sucks and there’s really nothing much we can do to change this, right now, I do need you to try and be a bit calmer, okay? We can figure things out a bit better if we’re not yelling and stomping up the stairs, okay?”
Griffin huffs. “Okay.”
“You believe me?”
Griffin shrugs, but isn’t angry anymore, so Casey takes that as a win.
“Now, we don’t we go downstairs, and try this homework thing, again. I bet Uncle Kelly would just love to help you with your math homework.”
“You wish,” Severide says from the doorway, causing them both to jump.
Ben’s not with him, and Casey has no idea how long he’d been standing there.
“If you think I’m doing the math, I think we’re all doomed,” Severide teases, causing both him and Griffin to laugh.
“Old people don’t like math, either, Uncle Kelly?” Griffin jokes.
Casey laughs as Severide makes an offended sound at being called old. He rushes in to tickle him, causing Griffin to burst out into giggles as Severide teases him about how he’s so not old even if he won’t do math as he carries him out of the room and presumedly down the stairs.
At least Griffin’s feeling better.
***
“The boys asleep?” Casey asks as Severide joins him on the couch.
Tomorrow’s Saturday and they aren’t on watch, either of them, so he’s already drunk a few beers by now.
“Yeah, at least starting to fall asleep. Although Griffin’s complaining that he doesn’t want to hear any stories and it’s not fair that he has to hear a story because he’s sharing a room with Ben,” Severide says.
“I didn’t hear any yelling?”
“He can voice his complaints without yelling now.”
“Of course he can,” Casey groans, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. “And I get it. If anyone’s got a right to be angry – it’s Griffin.”
He hears the sounds of Severide walking away, which confuses the hell out of him, so he opens his eyes, and sees Severide coming back with a couple of glasses and whiskey. He raises an eyebrow at him.
“You look like you need more than a beer right now.”
Casey hums, as he trades his beer for the whiskey. “Why?”
“Because you look like shit.”
“So, you’re giving me something harder, so I’ll feel like shit tomorrow when the boys wake me up at obnoxious hours of the morning?”
Severide laughs as he drinks the whiskey.
“Fuck you.”
“I did not intend to make things worse, it’s just… thought this might help. He was really angry today,” Severide says, sitting beside him.
Casey nods. “It comes in waves.”
“And you just take it?”
He shrugs. “Kid’s got a right to be angry and he needs to let it out or it’ll be worse when he explodes.”
“Not at you, though – fuck, Case, you’ve stepped up when Heather’s parents and sister…”
“He’s not going to see that, though.”
He finishes his drink, probably far too quickly, and pours himself another one as he thinks about Heather’s family. He remembers the difficult … argument… with DCFS the first time. They hadn’t wanted to honor Heather’s wishes because he wasn’t biologically related to the boys – godfather or not – and he’d been shocked that DCFS had done it.
He'd been even more shocked that although they’d be willing to help, they didn’t want custody of the boys. They just weren’t up to raising two little boys at nearly seventy. He understood that and it’d be better for the boys to have younger parents, anyway.
He’d thought her sister would’ve stepped in, but she didn’t, either.
It shouldn’t have been a surprise. Really, not after everything Casey had experienced where his own blood had let him go into the system after his mother murdering his father.
It was, though.
The boys were great kids, lovable and curious. It’s not like they were angry teenagers confused and hurt by their parents’ actions. Griffin may be angry now, but he wasn’t nearly the hormone filled nightmare Casey had been after the murder. He’d calm down with patience and understanding. Casey had been quick to trigger and hard to calm down. It was only the foster-parent at the home he’d gone to giving him a hammer and channeling his anger into productivity on his construction crew that had helped.
Griffin wouldn’t need all that. He’s a normally happy kid that just needs love and patience.
“I think, if anything, it’s part of why he’s so damn angry. He can’t lash out at them, he can’t lash out at Heather, so he’s probably even more frustrated and he lashes out at me.”
“You don’t deserve misplaced anger.”
Casey gives him a look. “Not the first person to come at me with anger I didn’t deserve.”
Severide huffs and rolls his eyes. He’s not touching the implication there that he’s referring to Severide giving him shit whenever he’s frustrated (though that has gotten better recently).
“Fine. Fair enough. What can I do to help?”
Casey shakes his head and finishes his drink, definitely too fast this time as the shake of his head makes his head spin, but he’s home and with any luck the boys might sleep in tomorrow. He’s starting to feel a little light-headed, but also a lot more relaxed.
“Bring Andy back from the dead? Go back in time and stop Heather from fucking up her kids’ lives?”
“Damn, Case.”
Casey pours himself another drink. “I – I’m not thinking all that clearly right now. I don’t … really know how to make it better. I can’t make Heather’s parents give a fuck any more than I could my own family, and even if I could – Griffin’s never going to forget that shit.”
You never forget the moment you felt (or were told) you were unwanted, unloved.
He knows that no matter how much love he gives Griffin, that was never going to go away. It certainly hasn’t for him, and it’s been twenty years since he overheard DCFS talking to his paternal grandparents indicating that none of his aunts or uncles, nor themselves wanted to take him in. Christie had already told DCFS that she wasn’t in a position herself at nineteen to take in her fifteen-year-old brother, and so, he was going into foster care.
That memory of overhearing Casey argue that he wanted and could take care of the boys, while hearing Heather’s parents and sister indicate that they didn’t want the boys will probably never be forgotten.
“There’s gotta be something we can do to make something – anything better. Maybe get a bigger house?”
Casey shakes his head before grabbing it, head spinning. “I – I am not renting this house, Sev. I bought it. I really thought – I really wanted…”
He’d hoped for exactly this – kids, a partner, a family. It’s not exactly how he planned to get one, but apparently, life had other plans.
“Okay, so – so you’re a contractor. We can make another room somehow.”
Casey rolls his eyes. “Like it’s so easy?”
Severide shrugs. “What’s the alternative? We room together?”
“Like we get adult bunkbeds?” Casey jokes. “Can you imagine that?”
“Well, we’ve basically done that at the firehouse. Shared a wall for years.”
“Little different to sharing a room, but the room is twice the size of the rooms upstairs. Adult bunkbeds, though?”
Severide laughs. “What’s the alternative, sharing a bed?”
“Would that be so bad?” Casey asks. “Kind of miss cuddling with someone.”
As soon as the words leave his mouth, he can see that he’s probably drunk a little too much.
“Forget I said that.”
“Oh, oh, no, Case,” Severide teases, a glint in his eyes that says he’s going to tease him about this forever. “I can never forget that. You – Matt Casey – wanna cuddle with me?”
“Never said that,” he denies, his face flush.
“Uh, yes, you did.”
“I said that I missed cuddling.”
“After I said that the alternative would be sharing a bed,” Severide retorts, eyes still glinting in delight.
Casey groans and tosses his head back. “I – we – it’s –”
Severide nudges him. “I’ve been told I’m an excellent snuggler, so I can’t blame you –”
“I don’t know who’s been lying to you because I highly doubt that you’re a great snuggler,” Casey jokes.
Although he thinks it’s probably true. Severide’s surprisingly cuddly looking with his broad chest and arms that make him feel warm and protected whenever he hugs him.
“And yet, you wanna snuggle with me,” Severide teases.
“Fuck you – that’s not what I said.”
His words don’t seem to register because he’s slurring a bit, and they both are giggling and laughing quite a bit at the ridiculousness of this conversation.
“Okay – okay, maybe not me, even though I am an excellent snuggler.”
Casey laughs and shakes his head. He eyes Severide’s chest, poking him a bit.
“You are kind of soft, maybe whoever lied to you about being a good snuggler might not be wrong.”
Severide makes an offended sound as he pours them both another drink. “I am definitely not soft, and I’ll have you know that my lovely ex-wife definitely didn’t lie.”
“She was your wife for ten seconds!” Casey counters. “Of course she’d lie to you. Honeymoon stage – you lie about everything.”
They’re both teasing and joking and he’s actually kind of digging the thought of spending his nights cuddling with Severide, of course, it’ll never happen.
It would be too embarrassing if anyone found out.
So, they giggle, and they tease until they fall asleep too drunk to even make it back to their rooms.
***
Casey groans when he hears little feet running down the hallway above them. Fuck.
He’s hungover and he’s leaning on Severide, whose arm is around him. Apparently all that joking about cuddling actually led to cuddling.
They’re such idiots.
He pushes up and away from him, trying to not look so out of it by the time that Griffin and Ben make it down the stairs.
There’s basically no shot of that, but he tries, anyway. He doesn’t need to fuel Griffin’s anger by being obviously hungover as drinking is probably an issue given Heather’s drunk driving.
So, he rushes to put away the obviousness of their drinking, moving to the kitchen to make his hangover cure just as the boys make it down the stairs.
They’re loud and chatting and seemingly oblivious to the state of their guardians as they ask for pancakes for breakfast and if they can watch cartoons while they wait. Before he can even nod, they run to the living room and budge Severide (who looks very disgruntled) over and turn the TV to Nickelodeon or Disney (he can’t tell from the kitchen) completely unaware.
It's … good. Better than dealing with an angry kid with a hangover.
Severide makes it to kitchen just as Casey pours two glasses of his hangover cure. “Never again.”
Severide laughs. “Think we both know that sometimes, you just have to let loose, clearly.” He glances over at the boys. “Do you remember anything?”
“All of it, I wasn’t nearly as gone as the last time I got drunk with you,” Casey states as he finishes his cure in two swallows and gets some aspirin for both of them. Then turns to start breakfast for them and the boys.
“So, teasing aside – and I will absolutely continue to tease you – what if we… did what we talked about?” Severide offers.
“What we talked about?”
“Give Griffin my room and I move into yours,” Severide states. “Share the bed since you miss cuddling –”
“Are you going to tease me about it all the time if we do?” Casey questions, not exactly against the idea if it would make Griffin happier and if he and Severide could get used to sharing a bed, it could be good for him, too.
He does miss cuddling and he does think that Severide is surprisingly cuddly.
“Maybe not all the time, just when the mood strikes, but as long as no one at the firehouse finds out, a little extra affection never hurt anyone.”
Casey hums. “I’m … game for it if you are. We can always re-evaluate if it becomes an issue.”
“Exactly,” Severide says, a smile on his face. “And it’ll probably help both of the boys to have their own space.”
“Yeah, definitely.”
“Then, let’s do it.”
***
It takes to the end of Severide’s furlough and them both being back on second watch before the rooms are properly switched around.
Griffin is in the room above theirs, while Ben’s keeping the one that they’ve lived in off and on over the last two years.
There’s still a lot of decorating and making the rooms be their rooms, but at least they both have a space of their own. And Griffin? Is absolutely ecstatic at having his own space.
Casey, on the other hand, is faced with what was a joke and is now a reality as he walks out of the master bath to see Severide standing in just his underwear looking at the bed like he had never seen a bed before.
“Sev? Second thoughts?”
Severide shakes his head. “No, no, uh, I, uh – I wasn’t sure if you have a side of the bed?”
Casey shrugs. “I’m adaptable, but I usually end up on my right side facing the door. Do you wanna be closer to the window or are you looking to be the little spoon?”
Severide bursts out laughing. “I think we both know that I’m definitely better as the big spoon.”
“Absolutely not. There’s no – it’s not obvious at all,” Casey scoffs.
“I mean – I am usually the bigger spoon.”
“With women.”
“And I’m taller than you.”
“By like two inches.”
“And I’m broader than you.”
Casey shrugs. There’s a part of him that wouldn’t really mind being the little spoon, but he’s not going to admit that to Severide.
“You’re wrong, but I like being closer to the door, so … I’ll take right side.”
Severide clearly wants to tease him, but instead, he just chuckles and moves to the left side. “Fine, I’ll pretend I’m wrong.”
“Good, you should,” Casey says he turns out the overhead light and gets into bed.
Severide’s already laying on his own pillows, and he doesn’t want to make this anymore awkward with pillow talk, so Casey turns out the light and says, “Good night, Sev.”
“Night, Case.”
***
In the morning, Casey wakes to Severide’s strong arms wrapped around him. His leg thrown over Casey’s leg, and his chest against his back.
It’s warm and comforting. He feels protected and safe.
He can see why his past partners always liked it.
It should feel weird since he isn’t dating Severide, but he kinda likes being the little spoon – not that he would ever admit that to Severide or anyone else. It’s also the best night of sleep he’s had in a while.
He thought it would be awkward this morning, but it’s not. Even as Severide groans when little feet can be heard above them.
“Sounds like the boys are awake,” Casey offers.
“Time to get up, then.”
He’s still groaning and hasn’t moved which means that Casey’s still tight in his arms.
“You can’t go back to sleep, Sev, and you kind of have to let me up,” Casey says, trying not to flush at pointing how just how attached to Casey that Severide is right now.
“Oh, right.”
Severide removes his leg and left arm and flops back on his back. Casey takes the opportunity to sit up and stretch. He glances at Severide, who’s got an arm over his face as he turns on the light.
“Sleep alright, then?”
“Yeah, best sleep I had in a while,” Casey admits.
Severide grins at him, eyes glinting playfully. “So, you like being the little spoon?”
“How’d you sleep?” he asks, deflecting. “Seems pretty well to me.”
Chuckling, Severide says, “Think this is going to work – this godfather thing. Sharing a bed, raising the boys.”
Casey can’t help smiling as the boys come bursting into their room and jumping on the bed even though Griffin’s ribs haven’t been fully healed and Ben’s still sporting a cast on his arm. “Yeah, I think so, too.”
This godfather thing… is definitely going to work as long as they do it together.
And Casey couldn’t be happier at that.
“Definitely.”