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"North, North please just listen to me" Otto begged, trying to get North's attention, he could see all the insecurities and doubts running through his head.
"Please just get out, I-I can't handle this right now" he said, voice shaky, eyes watering, trying to fight back the tears that keep threatening to leave his eyes
"Baby I swear, it isn't what you think, I wouldn't do that to you!!!"
"But you did Otto. I saw the picture, if you didn't want me, that's all you had to say." North felt his heart shatter with every word he said. Otto, oh Otto, the boy he fell in love with the first time he saw him, was the same person breaking his heart.
"Who said I didn't want you?? North, I chose YOU, not him, you're misunderstanding. Please just let me explain" Otto reached out for North's hand, a common action between the two, it was a way to reassure north that Otto was there and was his, keyword "was".
North pulled his hand back, an action that hurt both of them, "Otto please just get out" and for the first time since the argument happened, North looked into Otto's eye and Otto felt his heart shatter. North's eyes are filled with tears, and a couple manages to slip by and ruin north's makeup. Otto reached up to wipe north's tears, an action that used to make north's ears go red and his stomach fill with butterflies, now he just wants to throw up.
"You don't want that.. you don't want me to go"
North softly grabbed Otto's wrist and pulled him towards the door "leave please, before I convince myself to let you stay."
Otto finally took the hint, opened the door and left. The second the door closed, North collapsed. All the emotions and tears he was holding in finally released, he truly cried his heart out, tears wouldn't stop falling, he grabbed at his chest, struggling to breathe, what was the point though? North built his entire life around Otto, the second he saw him he started planning his- their future. no Otto meant no future, what was the point of breathing?
On the other side of the door, Otto felt his entire world collapsing. He tried so hard to keep himself together but North just kicked him out, how was he supposed to be acting? Tears ran down his face while he called Fifa, his best friend, and the only one who knew about North and Otto's relationship.. can he even call it that right now?
Fifa: "Heyyyy Otto!! What are you up toooo?"
Otto: "Fifa, I don't know what to do."
Fifa: "Woah, what's going on? Are you okay?"
Otto: "He kicked me out. North kicked me out."
Fifa: "North, like Jao North? The one that's literally fucking obsessed with you? Come over and tell me what happened."
Otto: "I’m on the way."
"Explain everything" Fifa tugged Otto onto his living room sofa.
"You know how North gets, he's a huge overthinker, which I don't mind at all, but this time he didn't even give me the chance to reassure him. He saw the picture Phupha posted on his story, he invited me out for lunch, it was a friendly jester I swear and I guess it North's eyes, it didn't look friendly.. he thinks I’m cheating on him with Phupha and I don't know how to make him believe me, it was nothing but a friendly hangout Fifa." Otto's voice was constantly cracking, everything was weighing down on him and the tears started again.
"Oh Otto.." Fifa knew all Otto needed right now was a hug, he knew he specifically wasn't the exact person he needed the hug from but all he wanted to do was just comfort him.
"Fifa, I don't know what to do, we have an event tomorrow, how am I supposed to face him? I don't even know what I'm supposed to say to him, what if he completely avoids me or what if he genuinely hates me because of all of this-"
Fifa cuts Otto off with a slight laugh, "Otto, do you truly think North of all people has a hateful bone in his body? Yeah, he is hurt, we all know he's a huge overthinker, but you are his person, he could never hate you, I don't think it's possible."
"I think we should sleep it off, send a little text to Noth and then go shower, I'll leave you some clothes. Everything is going to be okay Otto, I promise, just give it some time, okay?"
Otto smiled slightly at Fifa and nodded his head, "Thank you Fifa."
Otto: "Hey North.."
Otto: "I miss you, I hate that we are like this."
Otto: "I hope you're doing okay."
Otto : "Please let me explain soon, I love you."
North : "Please stop texting me."
Otto : "Please don't be like this North." [message not delivered]
Otto : "North?" [message not delivered]
Otto: "North please." [message not delivered]
Otto looked at his phone like he just saw a ghost, he felt his blood run cold, North blocked him. It has never gotten this serious before.. does he really think I cheated?
North was laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out where and what he did wrong to make Otto go to Phupha, was he not good enough? It wouldn't surprise him. He felt his heart race start to increase, slight tremors in his hands and legs started, his eyes swelled up full of tears.. he has cried so much today, he's surprised he even has any tears left to cry. His phone started to vibrate, "my love otto" popped up, the first time in hours, messages started to flow in, he tried to ignore them until one message.. the last three words, "I love you." he felt like he wanted to vomit, he started sobbing uncontrollably, these are supposed to be happy tears, the love of his life just said he loved him, but all he can do is cry and cry and try to fight the building need to vomit. "Please stop texting me." and blocked...
North was pacing. He was going back and forth with himself in his head, was that the right move? Was he acting on pure emotion and not actually thinking about his actions and the possible consequences?
“I can not see him tomorrow, there’s no way I'm going to be able to face Otto and not get sick.” he thought to himself, he could either call out or just not show up..
"I don't want to go to the event tomorrow, I don't feel good" North stated to P'Aof over the phone. Well technically, he wasn’t lying, he truly didn’t feel good but P’Aof didn’t have to know the reason why he didn’t feel good.
P’Aof took a bit to reply, North’s leg was bouncing up and down, he was chewing on his bottom lip due to anxiously waiting for a response.
‘Well..” he started, "The event tomorrow is incredibly important, are you sure? This could do wonders for future offers, if you truly do not feel good tomorrow then you don't have to go but please think about it." North wanted to do anything but think about tomorrow's event.
“I really don’t know, I’ve just had a really bad headache and my stomach hurts, maybe I have the flu? Or a stomach bug? I don’t want to get the other sick.”.. He heard P’Aof sigh on the other side of the phone "Okay, listen please just think about it a bit more, text me if you change your mind but you don’t have to go to the event tomorrow". North finally got what he wanted.. But why does this not feel right? “Thank you.’ He stated to P'Aof before ending the call.
After the call ended North sat there for a bit, he felt unsure all of a sudden, how would Otto feel not seeing him there tomorrow? What if Otto feels like he is the reason North isn’t there?.. Well, he is, but that isn’t the point!
After thinking about it for a little more he sent a quick text to P’Aof.
North: “I’ll go to the event tomorrow”
North: “I thought about it and i think i’ll be fine for tomorrow”
P’Aof: “That is great!! I’ll see you tomorrow then, goodnight.’
North: “Yeah, goodnight.”
A quick shower and another slight breakdown from accidently using Otto's lotion later, North was getting ready to go to bed, nothing but Otto on his mind, was he okay? Who was he with? Was he with Phupha..? What if he's in bed with him right now, watching romcoms together that North finds cringe but watches them anyway because it makes Otto happy? "Why. Am. I. Not. Good. Enough." was the last thing on his mind before he drifted to bed.
"I didn't think I could feel any worse after yesterday”, Otto thought to himself but seeing North again after everything made his heart clench. When he walked into the artist room, North was already getting his makeup done, he didn't even bother to look up at Otto when he entered like he always does, Otto was waiting for North's beautiful eyes to lock with his, his ears to turn red and for North to flash him the sweetest smile but instead he got nothing, literally nothing, North acted like he didn't exist.
Otto walked over to his makeup artists, he normally helps with his hair, it's something he enjoys doing but today his energy was just so incredibly low. He informed his hair stylists that he would prefer for them to do his hair today, explaining how he just wasn’t feeling the best and wanted to rest a bit more before having to go onto stage.
North overheard the entire conversation, of course he did, it made his stomach turn, he hated knowing Otto didn’t feel good and he was the reason for it, but his negative emotions were overpowering him, his brain was controlling his heart, he knew deep down all Otto needed to feel better was him, but in his current mindset, Otto had Phupha, he was no longer Otto’s person.
"North, you should try to get more sleep tonight, your eyes are puffy" The makeup artist mentioned, snapping North out of his head. “Mmhm, I know, yesterday just wasn’t the best for me, sorry Phi” North said, lowkey down, he could feel Otto’s eyes on him.
Otto's heart hurt even more now, when he looked close enough at North, his eyes were puffy, he kept yawning like he didn't sleep enough, and his hands were extra shaky. The state of North pained Otto deeply. "North, are you alright?" Otto, at this point was desperate for some interaction, for some attention, he couldn't do this anymore.
North looked slightly at Otto and then looked away immediately after 'Yeah, I'm cool". The dry energy pained them both, this wasn’t the North Otto knew and loved with every part of him but what could he do to fix it? This was technically the consequences of his actions.
The tension in the room was so thick, you could cut it with a knife, everyone was noticing how weird today felt but no one felt comfortable enough to ask questions.
"Otto, your outfit is ready, you can go get changed now, we have to be ready by 10." Otto gave a nice smile to the stylists and a head nod, North tried so hard to not look but it was impossible, the way Otto's smile lights up a room is something North loves about him.
Unfortunately, North was not that sneaky so when Otto looked back, they locked eyes for a quick second, the amount of emotion that flashed through both of their eyes before breaking eye contact was insane, so much guilt and love in Otto's eyes and so much heartbreak in north's.
The two went their separate ways after that, getting ready for the event, they both thought "oh this will be easy, just no interacting" but of course, the fans noticed, so did the other gen5 members, and of course so did the MC when Otto was placed in front of Phupha for the group photo, the side eye and the way North’s smile dropped, someone who is “just your friend” does not act like that.
The last question of the day, "so, what's going on between North and Otto? Did you two have an argument? The energy between you guys today isn't normal" They both looked at each other, neither of them knew how to answer this question, so instead Fifa spoke up for them.
"They both haven't been feeling the best, that's all, they took some medication so they could have energy for today's event but i guess it isn't working" he said with the most concerned voice he could muster up. "Oh that makes sense, thank you for answering and thank you Gen 5 for joining us today!"
After all of Gen 5 left the stage, Fifa pulled both North and Otto aside, “Whatever is going on between you both needs to be fixed if you guys want to keep your relationship a secret. You guys have to talk through this. The others are starting to question how deep your friendship actually goes and so are the fans. I know you both heard them whispering.” Fifa told them, they both looked at each other and then back at Fifa and gave him a nod. “Good, don’t make me act like y'all's relationship coach again.” Fifa said before leaving to get ready to go home.
The second Fifa left, North started to walk away from Otto. “North!!!” Otto said, a little too loud, causing the staff to look at them “Sorry!” he said to them with a shy smile on his face, picking up his pace to catch up to North. When he finally caught up to him, Otto pushed North into one of the dressing rooms, the only place he knew they could get some privacy.
"Otto, you need to leave me alone, we are done" The sharpness in his tone shocked both of them, neither of them truly expecting it. “I need space to move on, it's unfair that you get to have someone but you're refusing to let me get over you so I can one-day find someone too.” North was lying straight to his face, North move on? From Otto? That would never happen, they both knew that, it doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt both of them hearing it.
Otto felt his heart drop to his stomach hearing that, his North with someone who wasn’t him? Absolutely not. "North you need to let me explain what's going on please, I don't want to do it here, tonight please, I’ll come over and explain everything." Otto basically begged North. North, who is way too whipped for Otto, agreed after one look into Otto's eyes and he saw how guilty and desperate he was.
"Why the hell did I say yes?" North was pacing around his place, waiting for the knock on the door. "All I’m going to hear is proof that I'm not good enough, so he had to find someone else, why did I agree to this?"
3 knocks, 3 times his heart skipped a beat and 3 times he wanted to vomit on the spot.
Slowly, but surely he opened the door, Otto looked so pretty, like he always does, he's so effortlessly beautiful. "Hey North" Otto said, slightly above a whisper, he didn't know what to think, the last time he was here he was forced out by his own boyfriend- ex boyfriend..
"Hey, come in" North opened the door for Otto, Otto entered and went straight for his spot on the couch, the spot right next to the table. It was so easy for him to put his stuff down. They've been broken up for a day but the visual representation of how much Otto treated his home like his own made his stomach fill with butterflies. In North's head, one day of being broken up is one month. This whole interaction felt unreal.
North walked over and sat at the other end of the couch, the space between them felt unfamiliar, they're never this apart from each other when they're alone. Otto slowly started moving closer to North, not too fast, he was too scared North would get up and move.. North let him of course, no matter what, Otto was still someone who had a complete hold on North's heart no matter how hard he tried to distance himself after the whole fight.
"Sooo" Otto started, unsure on how to start this conversation, Otto didn't cheat, he never would, they both knew that North was just in a horrific headspace and wasn't being himself. The thought of having this type of conversation felt awkward to both of them “How do I defend myself right now? When he's so certain I cheated?" was ringing in Otto's head. North stared at his hands, slightly fidgeting, he didn't know what to say, didn't know how to act, he just wanted to get this done and over with so he could properly move on... like that would ever happen.
"I didn't cheat on you, I wouldn't do that to you. Yes, I went out with Phupha but I swear on everything it was a friendly lunch hangout, it wasn't a date". Otto was trying his best to scan North's face, waiting to see his eyes light up again, waiting to see some part of him start to believe Otto.
He took a deep breath and started explaining again, "He messaged me asking if I was hungry, said he found this new spot and didn't want to go alone" He moved closer to North, grabbing North's fidgety hands and holding them tightly, refusing to let North pull away from him again.
"I said yes because it seemed fun, and it was a new place, somewhere I could possibly take you one-day if it tasted good! I didn't know he was going to post a picture, when I saw the story I didn't think anything wrong because I know I had zero ill intentions when hanging out with him but I can completely understand why you started overthinking, I just- ", Otto paused, reaching for North's chin, forcing him to hold eye contact, North's eyes are full of tears, his lips slightly trembling, the sight truly broke Otto's heart, his baby was a mess right now.
He leans in slowly, lips parting just slightly, his hand lifting to rest lightly against North’s cheek. Otto's scanning north's face, looking for anything that screams "don't kiss me" which he doesn't find.
and then..
Their lips meet. North gasps slightly, but instantly melts into the kiss, oh how he has missed this.
The kiss.. it’s incredibly soft.
North's ears are beet red, his heart is racing, his hands find their way under Otto’s oversized sweater and find their place on his waist, resting comfortably, this was so common to both of them.
This is the kind of kiss that starts hesitant, not at all from being shy, but from care. They’re both incredibly afraid to ruin it by rushing. Their lips move against each other slowly, savoring every movement. Otto sighs into the kiss, the tension in his shoulders melting completely as his body leans forward instinctively.
They break apart and North leans his head onto Otto's shoulder, his heart racing, chest raising and falling quickly, "North you're all that I need, I would never do something to ruin what we have. I want you to trust me and believe me. I picked you for a reason, you make me happy, you make me feel complete, you are home, I wouldn't trade that for anything".
Silence grew between them, Otto waited patiently for North to say something even though he so desperately wanted the world to just swallow him whole.
After a couple minutes of silence and a lot of rubbing on North's back, Otto heard him sniffle and his shirt started to get wet. "I'm so sorry" a muffled but emotional sorry finally left North's lips, "I’m so sorry, I just- I don't even know what to say" his voice shaky and evidence of how much this situation has been weighing on him.
More silence, More tears.. A lot of tears actually, North just broke down, what was he thinking? Otto would never replace him, why was he like this? "God you deserve so much better" he mumbled under his breath not expecting for it to be heard.
"Hm?" Otto slightly whispered into his ear
"You-" North started to say but then cut himself off, unsure if he should even say it, scared to ruin the moment.. "You deserve better, someone who will trust you and not spiral the second they overthink, I trust you, I swear I do, I just feel so replaceable sometimes and it leads to moments like this. I want to be better for you, for us, I just don't know how or when I'm going to get to that point and it makes me feel like shit, like I'm a horrible partner."
"Oh North baby, you truly are an amazing partner, no matter how much you overthink, I will never complain about having to reassure you and getting the chance to basically just ramble about how much I love you. We can work on everything together, I'll make sure you see yourself the way I see you, you are so perfect, I truly wish and hope you see that one day." Otto replied with the sweetest smile North has ever seen. North felt so confused, he didn’t deserve this much kindness right now but he decided to keep that thought to himself.
"I'll work on myself, I promise you I will. Please trust that I can do it, and I really will. I'm not changing because of you, Otto, I'm changing for you. Please always remember that" he said.
"I trust you, my sweet boy, let's go shower, hm? We have a big day tomorrow". Otto got up and grabbed North's hand, a huge smile on both of their faces
After a quick shower that often got interrupted by small kisses between the two, they got ready for bed, Otto helping North with his skincare while North brushed through and blow-dried Otto's hair. The two silent and enjoying each other's company.
The event went perfect like always, North and Otto were sharing little glances like normal, giggling when they were forced to interact for a mini-game, North's ears were bright red by the end of the event and the MC couldn't get enough, "Did you two make up?" "What's the relationship between you two?" "Let's have North and Otto do this challenge together.", this is what they were used to, not whatever yesterday was. This was what they enjoyed, the fans giggling at the slightest interactions, them being able to interact and be all cute without having to worry about being caught, "god i love my job ." they both thought.
After the event, they headed back to their place to get ready for their date, something private and small, something just for them. They needed this and deserved it after the day they had yesterday. "They only broke up for a day" North and Otto have been interested in each other since the day they met and have been attached to each other since that day, the breakup drained both of them.
The date location was a cute little craft store, it reminded them of their first date, they made sandscapes together, it's where Otto truly realized how deep his feelings were for North, today they are making letters to each other.
"Do you have everything we need?" Otto asked North. "hmm, paper, glue, frames, paint, pencils AND pens.. I think this is everything!" North said with a bright smile, he looked ten times better today, he actually slept last night, he had a slight glow to him like being away from Otto drained the light out of him and now that they're back together the light has returned.
They sat next to each other and started writing. They stopped by a shop before coming to this store, grabbing little gift bags so they could give the framed letters to each other. The prompt given was "share words to the person in your heart."
North seemed a little stuck, he had so so much to say but he, if it isn't obvious, isn't the best with his words while Otto was writing his little heart away, adding hearts all over the letter, painting the frame, North started to feel bad, why couldn't he express himself that well?
Otto noticed a shift in the energy and looked over at North and noticed how it looked like the gears in his head were working over time to keep him from overthinking. Otto gave him a kiss on the cheek and whispered into his ear, "just write baby, it doesn't have to be long or heavily decorated as long as it comes from the heart, I’ll be happy"
15 minutes later they were done with their letters, they wrapped them up and put them into the gift bags, they stopped for food before going home, North's heart was racing, it isn't easy to change in one day, he felt like his letter was boring and not good enough compared to Otto's but he tried his best to stay positive, his hand laced with Otto's and Otto constantly rubbing his thumb against North's hand was helping him stay grounded and out of his head.
When they got home they exchanged the letters, nerves running through North, this had to be perfect. After everything he put Otto through yesterday, he made sure he put his absolute all into the letter, the frame, and the decorating process. He was just nervous, he's always nervous when it comes to anything Otto related he has noticed.
"Do you want to go first?" Otto asked him, and he thought about it for a second. He knew Otto wanted to go first, the little shakes in his hands are very strong evidence of how excited Otto was to do something like this, it's something North truly adored about Otto, but truthfully speaking, he desperately wanted to go first, his nerves were going to eat him alive before he could even give Otto his gift.
North handed Otto his gift bag, despite the nerves he was truly excited for Otto’s reaction. Otto reached into the bag and pulled out the framed letter. His smile grew bigger and bigger the more he read it. The letter read “You make me want to be a better person, want to try harder, and develop myself every single day.. and I will always be by your side, always supporting, taking care, and protecting to the best of my ability”
“Oh baby, this is so perfect, I love it so so much, thank you.” Otto said, happiness shown all over his face, specifically in his eyes as well. “Okay Okay, it's your turn! I’m getting impatient, I want to give you your gift already!!”
Otto handed North his gift, inside contained the frame letter, the letter read “With you by my side, every dream feels closer. Thank you for always seeing me, choosing to stay and fight through the negative thoughts for me. Thank you for being my partner.” North was speechless, a slight smile on his face stayed while he read the letter.
“I know it isn’t very long but it’s something I want you to always remember please.” Otto said, holding onto North’s hands that are holding the frame. “No, it is so beautiful, I love it, thank you, thank you so much.” North said, kissing Otto’s cheek after.
“Let’s go hang them, hm?” North said before lacing his fingers with Ottos. They held hands as they walked into their bedroom, they already figured out earlier that date where they wanted to hang the letters. They decided that above their bed would be the best. They- well North already set up the nails in the wall for where the frames will be hung. He took his and Otto’s letter and put them in their places. North’s letter on the left and Otto’s on the right, matching which sides they sleep on too.
After North hung up their frames, he stood next to Otto again with a huge smile on his face, “this is so cute” he whispered to himself. Otto looked at him with a huge smile “I agree, I think you’re cuter though”.
North looked at Otto, grabbed his waist and pulled him into a hug. “I love you, thank you for everything.” he said to him while kissing the top of Otto’s head.
“You’re so welcome, I love you more” he replied, hugging North even more, cuddling into his chest
“Forever and always?” North asked, his heart racing picking up slightly. He will never get used to Otto telling him he loves him. Otto looked up at North, kissed his chest where his heart is and whispered into his ear..
“Forever and always”.