Archive of Our Own ^beta

SEUNGKWAN - “The hamburgers look good, but I had a big lunch. I think I’ll just get a salad. What are you going to have, Hansol-ah?”
METABOLISM - Your belly gnaws itself with hunger. You should refuel.
BORROWED TIME - You’ve got an early call time for sound check tomorrow. Better not order anything too heavy.

1. “You could hand-feed me some of whatever you’re getting, or maybe just regurgitate it into my mouth like I’m a baby bird.”
2. “I hate food and eating.”
3. [MEDIA TRAINING (ACT NATURAL) - Easy] - Read the menu like a normal person.

MEDIA TRAINING (ACT NATURAL) [Easy: Success] - You calmly skim through the extensive menu.
DISCERNING TASTES - A big menu is never a good sign. You don’t want to order any of this shit.

1. “I don’t want to order any of this shit.”
2. “Why didn’t you listen to me when I told you that The Cheesecake Factory isn’t a nice place for a date?”
3. “Sometimes I can’t stand you at all.”
4. “Let’s break up.”
5. Those are the options?

YOU - Those are the options?
IMMOVABLE OBJECT - Yep.
SEUNGKWAN - Seungkwan blinks at you.
LOVER BOY - He’s so handsome.
SEUNGKWAN - “Hansol? Is something wrong?”

1. “Yes. This menu is terrible.”
2. “Yes. I think we should break up.”

YOU - “Yes. This menu is terrible.”
SEUNGKWAN - “Oh. Sorry.”
IMMOVABLE OBJECT [Legendary: Failure] - Oh, fuck. Take it back! Say you’re sorry—quick!
DIRTY WHITE TEE - And say the other thing instead? Hell no, we can roll with this. Just play it off as a joke.
BORROWED TIME [Medium: Success] - Across the room, your waiter starts towards your table. You can’t stay like this forever. It was never going to last.

1. [MEDIA TRAINING (COMEDIC TIMING) - Challenging] Play it off as a joke.+3 GoSe conditioning
2. “I'm breaking up with you”

MEDIA TRAINING (COMEDIC TIMING) [Challenging: Success] - You toss the ridiculously thick menu back to the table and reach for the small cardstock display next to the ketchup bottle and salt shaker, the one that advertises the specials.
YOU - “Trust me, this one is where it’s all at.”
SEUNGKWAN - Seungkwan’s face softens into a gentle smile.
LOVER BOY - You’ll never feel this way about anyone else ever again. How could you even dream of leaving him? He’s all you’ll ever want.
SEUNGKWAN - “Dessert and drinks? Well, I suppose it’s okay if we’re on tour…”
YOU - You inspect the menu. Seungkwan’s right, it’s all fruit-flavored frozen drinks and decadent desserts.
DIRTY WHITE TEE - Ooh, White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle® cheesecake! That sounds pretty good.
METABOLISM - Excellent choice. What it lacks in nutritional value it makes up in caloric density. This is exactly what you need to prepare your body for tomorrow’s show.
DISCERNING TASTES - Fine. It’s probably alright to get cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory.
SITUATIONAL AWARENESS [Easy: Success] - Your waiter is approaching.
WAITER - “Hi, *indistinguishable* The Cheesecake Factory. My name is *indistinguishable* and I’ll be your server tonight. You two ready to order?”
SEUNGKWAN - Seungkwan smiles placidly at the waiter, and then he nods towards you.
BILINGUISTICS - The waiter has a regional accent that Seungkwan can’t parse. It’s rough for you, too, to be honest.

1. Order a slice of White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle® cheesecake.
2. Order an entire White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle® cheesecake.

YOU - “Yeah. I’ll have a piece of the white chocolate and raspberry cheesecake?”
WAITER - “One…white *indistinguishable*...raspberry…cheesecake. Gotcha.”
METABOLISM - Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck yes.

1. [BILINGUISTICS - Trivial] Order for Seungkwan too.+1 Two halves of a whole
   -1 Unintelligible regional accent
2. Nah, he's got it.

YOU - You sit back.
SEUNGKWAN - A beat passes before Seungkwan realizes that you’re not going to order for him. He looks nervous as he turns his attention to the waiter and opens his mouth, but he totally crushes it. Okay…he had to point to the menu a few times, but that’s not a big deal. You do that, too.
LOVER BOY - No tomatoes!
YOU - “And, uh, no tomatoes on the salad, please.”
WAITER - The waiter gives you an “okay” sign with one hand, then heel-turns and walks away. They do all of this without looking up from the handheld where they’re plugging in your orders.
SEUNGKWAN - Seungkwan winks at you from across the table.
“This is fun, isn’t it?”

1. “Let’s break up.”
2. “I think we should break up.”
3. “I’m breaking up with you.”

YOU - "I think we should break up."
SEUNGKWAN - He freezes, a sweaty plastic tumbler of ice water held halfway up to his lips.
“...Is this because I fell asleep during Interstellar?”
DISCERNING TASTES - YES. It’s a modern classic.
BORROWED TIME [Challenging: Success] - No.
TRIVIA [Medium: Success] - Interstellar (2014) directed by Christopher Nolan has a 73% critics’ rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

1. “I guess so. We’ve always said our tastes are too different.”
2. [BORROWED TIME - Medium] Give him the real answer.
3. [IMMOVABLE OBJECT - Medium] Say nothing.+1 논버-bal impulse

IMMOVABLE OBJECT [Medium: Failure] - You’re slipping on black ice. You’re hurtling towards oblivion, alone in the dark, and you’re going faster and faster, and there are no handholds to grab for. You’re falling, you’re falling…
YOU - “No, it’s not. I don’t—I didn’t think this through. Fuck.”
SEUNGKWAN - Seungkwan laughs nervously. He takes a sip from his cup like he’s trying to hide behind it.
MEDIA TRAINING (COMEDIC TIMING) - You’ve blown your chance to spin this one into a joke, just so you know.
SEUNGKWAN - “You’re really not going to give me a reason?”

1. [MEDIA TRAINING (GAY4PAY) - Easy] Say it was all just for attention, and now that you’re famous you don’t need him anymore. (Lie.)
2. [MEDIA TRAINING (ACT NATURAL) - Easy] Lean on a cliche. Say you fell out of love. (Lie.)
3. [BORROWED TIME - Medium] Give him the real answer.+1 He deserves as much

BORROWED TIME [Medium: Success] - Tick, tock.
DIRTY WHITE TEE [Easy: Success] - Say it plainly, no bullshit.
YOU - “It was going to have to happen eventually. We both knew that.”
SEUNGKWAN - He turns away from you and looks out through the window.
SITUATIONAL AWARENESS [Trivial: Success] - Sunset. It’s raining.
BORROWED TIME [Medium: Success] - The light will be gone soon.
TRIVIA [Medium: Success] - Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
DIRTY WHITE TEE - That’s not really what that line means, but yeah, sure, that.

1. [SITUATIONAL AWARENESS - Heroic] What’s he thinking?+1 He loves you
   -1 Hedgehog’s dilemma
2. [LOVER BOY - Formidable] What’s he feeling?

SITUATIONAL AWARENESS [Heroic: Failure] - Seungkwan’s always been a little unknowable to you. Everything you’ve ever learned about him has come from misunderstandings and careful, patient effort. Evidently you haven’t done enough work to be able to see into him tonight.

1. [SITUATIONAL AWARENESS - Heroic] What’s he thinking?+1 He loves you
   -1 Hedgehog’s dilemma
2. [LOVER BOY - Formidable] What’s he feeling?

LOVER BOY [Formidable: Success] - Oh, Hansol. You know what he’s feeling.

1. [SITUATIONAL AWARENESS - Heroic] What’s he thinking?+1 He loves you
   +2 He really loves you
   -1 Hedgehog’s dilemma

SITUATIONAL AWARENESS [Heroic: Success] - Seungkwan’s thinking about the logistics of breaking up with you. He over-packed (he always over-packs) and the excess all spilled into your luggage (like it always does), so he’s thinking about where he’s going to put his extra hoodies for the rest of the tour. He’s thinking about what he’s going to do with the birthday present he already bought you. He’s thinking about walking your toothbrush down the hall to your as-yet-untouched hotel room. He’s replaying that particular scene over and over in his mind because he keeps imagining that he’ll lean in and kiss you goodnight before he goes, and he thinks you don’t want that anymore.
DAMAGED MORALE -2
IMMOVABLE OBJECT - God fucking dammit.
MEDIA TRAINING (ACT NATURAL) [Godly: Failure] - There’s a knot in your throat. You’re not going to cry, not here at the fucking Cheesecake Factory, but your composure is slipping.
SEUNGKWAN - “Well, if that’s really what you want…”
LOVER BOY - Of course it’s not what you want.
IMMOVABLE OBJECT [Godly: Failure] - You don’t know what you want anymore.
LOVER BOY [Legendary: Success] - Yes, you do.

1. “It isn’t.”
2. “It is.” (Lie.)
3. “It doesn’t matter what I want.” (Lie.)

YOU - “It isn’t.”
SEUNGKWAN - Seungkwan turns back to face you. His features are soft, but closer to weariness than warmth.
“Hansol, what is this? What are you doing?”

1. [BORROWED TIME - Formidable] “What’s best.”-2 He really loves you
2. [IMMOVABLE OBJECT - Formidable] “Done. What have I *done*. It’s over.”-2 He really loves you
3. [DIRTY WHITE TEE - Legendary] “I don’t know.”

DIRTY WHITE TEE [Legendary: Success] - You’re a scrapper, Chwe Hansol.
YOU - “I don’t know.”
You sink your head into your hands. You shouldn’t be touching your face like this, but for a moment you don’t care.
BORROWED TIME [Medium: Success] - There are a lot of things you shouldn't be doing right now.
DIRTY WHITE TEE - You do them anyway.
SEUNGKWAN - When you look back up at him, he’s watching you with sadness in his eyes. His brow is furrowed with concern.
LOVER BOY [Challenging: Success] - There’s a spot you can kiss, just above his left eyebrow, that makes all his frown lines smooth away.
SEUNGKWAN - “You’re kind of scaring me.”
SITUATIONAL AWARENESS [Medium: Success] - Hey! Check your six. Someone’s coming.
WAITER - *indistinguishable* *indistinguishable* *indistinguishable*
You have absolutely no idea what this person is saying, but they set each of your orders down on the table and then disappear as quickly as they’d arrived.
SITUATIONAL AWARENESS - You glance over at Seungkwan’s salad. It’s still got tomatoes.
DISCERNING TASTES - This place is a joke.

1. [MEDIA TRAINING (COMEDIC TIMING) - Medium] Make a disparaging quip about the American service and hospitality industry.
2. [DISCERNING TASTES - Medium] Bitch about being at The Cheesecake Factory again.
3. [DIRTY WHITE TEE - Medium] Reach over and pick the tomatoes out with your fingers.

DIRTY WHITE TEE [Medium: Failure] - You reach towards the salad, but you’re so focused on the offending fruit(?) (Vegetable? Man what even is a tomato…?) that you don’t notice—
SITUATIONAL AWARENESS [Impossible: Failure] - —Seungkwan wielding his fork like a weapon, aiming to spear into a lettuce leaf.
DAMAGED HEALTH -1
YOU - The fork stabs at the back of your hand at a violent speed. The prongs are way too dull to break your skin, but they leave four little red marks where they hit. Pain radiates up your arm.
SEUNGKWAN - “Oh! Are you alright?”
MEDIA TRAINING (ACT NATURAL) - Shake it off. Pretend like nothing happened.
SEUNGKWAN - His hand hovers over yours. It had shot out as soon as he’d hurt you, but now it’s frozen a few millimeters away like it’s caught behind an invisible barrier.
LOVER BOY [Challenging: Success] - He aches with how badly he wants to touch you.

1. "You tried to skewer me!"
2. [DIRTY WHITE TEE - Easy] Silently retreat to the safety of White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle® cheesecake.+1 Ravenous
   +1 Eating your feelings
3. [LOVER BOY - Challenging] Take his hand and kiss his knuckles.+1 Land of the free
   -2 Eyes everywhere

DIRTY WHITE TEE [Easy: Success] - Its saccharine allure calls to you like a siren to a drowning sailor.
YOU - You hunch back against your side of the booth and take a bite of your cheesecake.
DISCERNING TASTES [Medium: Success] - It’s freezer-burnt.
DIRTY WHITE TEE - Whatever. It’s got chocolate.
HEALED MORALE +1
SITUATIONAL AWARENESS [Medium: Success] - Seungkwan’s still looking at you. He takes his familiar about-to-say-something-big deep breath.
SEUNGKWAN - “I think about it too, sometimes. What we are. Where this is all going.”
He chews on a mouthful of vegetables for a moment, then sighs.
“It’s honestly kind of terrifying. What you said before…I don’t disagree. Someday we’re going to have to face the fact that the way we’ve been living with each other just isn’t tenable.”
BORROWED TIME - See? He understands it too. Tick, tock.
IMMOVABLE OBJECT [Challenging: Success] - Shut up.
SEUNGKWAN - “Sometimes I think it would be better to call things off while we’re both happy and leave only good memories. Maybe that’s what you were trying to do. Maybe that’s what we *should* do. It’s reckless not to.”
“But…”
He comes to a hard stop and sinks his teeth into his bottom lip. He’s furiously blinking back tears.
“Hansol. Not yet, okay?”
IMMOVABLE OBJECT - He wants it to stay this way forever, too.
LOVER BOY [Formidable: Success] - You can have that if you want. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s not as impossible as you think.
MEDIA TRAINING (GAY4PAY) [Medium: Success] - You should touch him, but like, only a little.

1. Let him go now. Spare yourself the greater heartache.
2. [LOVER BOY - Legendary] You have nothing to be afraid of.+3 Heart-shaped smile

LOVER BOY [Legendary: Success] - You reach across the sticky table and gently touch Seungkwan’s wrist. He looks down at the point of contact, and then back up at you. The corners of his lips turn up until he’s smiling at you again. It’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.
BORROWED TIME [Impossible: Failure] - Is this worth it? Is any of this worth it?
DIRTY WHITE TEE - Yes.
IMMOVABLE OBJECT - Yes.
YOU - Yes.