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It's not a secret that the city has one of the biggest villains it had for years. A villain that not even the gracious super heros could stop. Villain Silvia (yes that's her full name) is the epitome of evil.
But if you knew Villain Silvia closely, she's an idiot. She makes penis shaped guns, actual boobie traps and vaginal shaped portals. She also kills people by mistake more than purposely and blows entire cities by accidently pressing buttons. She forgets the city has a superhero. She's scared of trick or treaters and she kidnapped the Mayor's daughter to get control over the city just to defund a pizza place for making moist crusts. She's just stupid. Even her secret lair is not really a secret. So how on earth is she even still in business???
It all started on a rainy, cold night. Villain Silvia was roaming the city, after she successfully finished another day of being evil, when she saw him. Marcus.
Before he became Silvia's security guard/sidekick/assistant, he was a lawyer. Marcus has always stood for what's right, that's why he chose law, so he can help people. Little did he know, the justice system isn't actually fair, and corruption is far more rooted in the world than good. He had to learn that the hard way.
When Villain Silvia found him that night, he was laying on the side of the road, fully soaked in rain, his formal attire sticking to his body and his glasses, broken, still on his face. He looked like a man that lost everything, even his faith in humanity.
Villain Silvia almost tripped on him, that was the only reason she even noticed his existence.
"Woah- Woaaahh!-" She balanced herself before she can fall, miraculously. "What a weird shaped road bump. I didn't think they had those on the sidewal—" When she looked back, it was not, in fact, a weird shaped road bump. It was a man, a defeated looking man that's laying on the side walk looking like he's waiting for his death. "Ow, man. Why are you laying in here, didn't you knowwww—" She dragged the word as she always does "—that people walk in here? You're a danger to those people, and those people are me. You're a danger to me. Don't lay like that in my way, man. You disturb the flow of my evil plans."
The man was unresponsive, to Villain Silvia's surprise. "Hey," she nudged him with her boot. "Hey, are you dead?" She knelt down and pokes him on the cheek once, then poked him again. She liked the action so she keept her pokey assault on him.
"Can you stop—" "AAAGGHHH!!!" Villain Silvia stumbled back and fell on her bum. "Oh my God! The corpse is talking! The dead man is talking help!!! Oh God! Oh God, oh God, oh God!" "—You know I'm not dead if I can spea—" "AAAAAAAAGGHHH!!!!" She jumped up and proceedsed to run, but she tripped on him and fell again. She panicked more. "Oh my God! He's got me! He's going to drag me with him to the dead world! Help! Help! Someone! Oh no I'm now soaked because my umbrella fell away! No! No! My new coat! Nooooooo!! Oh God please help!! Oh noooo! I'm dying nooooooo!! Uhu, uhu, uhu."
Marcus couldn't stop himself from laughing at this strange idiot that tripped on him and is making a scene. It was too absurd that he couldn't stop himself from laughing; she's too stupid to be real. He's never met anyone like this before.
At the sound of his laughter, Villain Silvia stopped her dramatic display and sat up, looking offended. "Hey- Hey hey! Who are you laughing at? Respect me a little man. I'm expressing my deepest concern for my own safety." But Marcus couldn't stop laughing. He put an arm over his eyes and kept cackling, his chest vibrating. Villain Silvia couldn't help but join in the laughter as well, with her weird ass laughter. It only made him laugh more until neither of them can.
Villain Silvia was sat up beside a laying Marcus.
"Do you like pizza?" She asked out of nowhere catching him off guard. "Well…Yes. I like pizza." "With pineapples?" It was a question Villain Silvia asked everyone to decide whether or not they deserve to live another day. Marcus put his arm down and turned his head to look at her. "No, ew. What kind of a psycho do you think I am."
At this point, the rain had stopped. Marcus sat up, and took off his glasses. Villain Silvia, with her one eye, observed him. "You look like shit." She said bluntly. "Thanks," answered Marcus dryly "I didn't know that." "You're very welcome." Her sincerity had him surprised again.
What a strange woman, he thought.
"Do you want pizza?" She asked again, but all he did was stare at her, trying to figure her out. She took his silence as a refusal. "Well, more pizza for me then." She stood up, all soaked. "Awh, that was my new coat, now look what happened to it." She frowned, looking down at him. "You better have that cleaned for me, it's expensive. It's so expensive that I doubt you can even imagine how expensive it is. It is, uh, one of a kind." She put both hands in its pockets anyways.
"Well I'm sorry for that, but you're the one who tripp—" "Shhhhhhh, shhhh shhhh." She shushed him with her finger. "What the—" "Shhhhhhhhhhhh, shhhh shhhhh." He opened his mouth to spew more protests but she shushed him once more. "Shhhhhhhh! Shhhh, shhhh."
Who the fuck is this woman? Wondered Marcus. She's so weird, and not in a cute way. Something is genuinely wrong with her.
"You're coming with me to my secret lair, poor person, and you're serving me for the rest of your life." "What the—" "SHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She shushed him again, rendering him speechless once more. "What is your name? Actually I don't care about your name, you're now Marcus. Let's go Marcus." She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him behind her. For a woman that looked frail, she was, surprisingly, pretty strong that even he couldn't resist. He genuinely tried to free himself from her grip, but he couldn't.
Ever since then, Marcus has become—unwillingly—her security guard/sidekick/assistant. And he just… accepted his fate.
He saw how much of an idiot she is, and wondered, how is she not dead or arrested yet? How did she survive that long on her own? Maybe it's because she's really just stupid so everyone collectively agreed to leave her be. Even her secret lair has signs indicating it's place and is registered on the internet.
But the more time he spent with her, the more he's seen how she's actually really smart when it comes to making evil plans, inventing evil machines and committing corruption. Yet, she's stupid as a rock at the same time. So, it became his mission to protect her from accidentally killing herself one way or another. He is practically a second brain to her, her voice of reason because apparently she didn't have that most of the time.
As time goes on, he didn't care much for his old life or his real name anymore; he is Marcus and he'll alway be. Villain Silvia wasn't all that bad, she was in fact really chill and fun to be around. She started to grow on him, he couldn't stop himself from becoming fond of her. Slowly that fondness became something more, something even he couldn't understand, yet, he didn't resist. When the world betrayed him, Silvia took him in and cared for him in her own way. He couldn't not care for her.
The turning point in their relationship was the day Villain Silvia was up against the city's superheros in an actual deadly fight. A fight where she got her ass whooped and the superheros were about to finish it once and for all.
Marcus, horrified by the sight of Silvia defeated and on the verge of death—seriously this time—didn't realise he was marching right into the middle of the fight. The city around was on fire, the police and ambulance sirens sound from afar and Silvia was laid down, beaten and bloody. Her favourite coat was shredded, her eyepatch was discarded, leaving her fully vulnerable at the mercy of people that want to serve her to justice.
"It's over for you Villain Silvia," Said the super heroine. "This is where it all ends. You will cause no one harm anymore." The heroine made a ball of energy in her palm and was ready to launch, if it weren't for Marcus, that shot at her.
"Take another step and you're gone."
No one has ever seen Marcus this angry, he even had his sunglasses off. He looked scary, scarier than any villain they've ever faced before.
Of course the heros didn't let him just get what he wanted, they attacked him, and they found out real quick how serious he was.
One by one, the heroes fell defeated. What was left is a standing marcus who put his gun away. He kneeled by Villain Silvia and held her to his chest. He patted on her cheek, his gaze full of worry as they roam over her beaten figure. "Silvia, please answer me." He pleaded.
When she didn't respond, his fear spiked high. "Silvia," He called her name again, like a prayer he's waiting to be answered. His heart was aching. He can't lose her, she's all he has left in the world.
He remembered all the times she'd been a menace, all the times she used him for her own entertainment, all the times she tormented him and he let her. He lets her every time because he knew her closely, intimately. Yes she's evil and stupid and insufferable—but she's also real.
He closed his eyes and felt the tears burn his lids. He's never cried for anyone in his life, yet the mere thought of losing her brought him to his knees.
That's when he heard her cough weakly. He opened his eyes to find she opened her own. He's never seen her with both eyes open before—because she always puts on the stupid patch for no reason—and he thought that she's the prettiest woman alive.
"Silva," He whispered her name like a plea again. She looked at his face, eyes roaming over it, then finally said. "Wow... I haven't seen with both eye in so long..."
Marcus couldn't believe his eyes or ears. He let out a half chuckle, half breath. "…Glad you're okay." He said with a chocked voice. "Let's go home." He stood up—carrying her in his arms–and walked away leaving the destruction behind.