Work Text:
Z groaned after hearing the sound of his alarm clock. Throwing it against a wall was tempting, but he held back.
The only thing he had planned today was to hang out with Regect and Moe. Like he did every day, anyway.
Oh well, time to get ready for the day. This will be a completely normal day, definitely!
Z threw some random clothes on his bed and decided. ‘Yep, these are the ones’.
He took off his shorts and put on some sweatpants. Then took off his shirt and grabbed a hoodie that was a size too big, but good enough.
Just as he was about to put it on–
“Ze, are you there?”
Z let out a scream that sounded almost unhuman. His computer was off. Why did he hear Regect's voice???
“What the fuck–”
“Why the hell are you on my screen?! ” Z tried to cover his bare chest with the hoodie, staring at Regect who was acting like suddenly appearing on the screen of a turned off computer was completely normal.
“I learned how to do this in a book! Pretty neat if you ask me,” he said proudly. There was nothing to be proud of.
“What kind of book teaches you how to invade someone's privacy?!”
“This one?”
Okay, so this guy was an absolute idiot. Z already knew that, but maybe he was even more of an idiot than he thought.
“If you were wondering, the book is called "Minecraft ARG Basics – How to scare your Protag effectively! ", it's a great–”
“I don't give a shit, dude! How long were you watching anyway?”
Regect hummed, in thought. “Ever since your alarm went off. I really don't know how you didn't notice that your computer was turned on. That was like, super obvious dude.”
“Genuinely, fuck you.” Z pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just– Just leave! I wanna...”
“...Wait. You literally saw me–”
“Uh, see you later!” Regect immediately disappeared.
Z was left horrified and extremely uncomfortable.
Well, Regect had a lot of explaining to do.
He tapped his fingers on the edge of his desk. He didn't know how to feel about this new... "ability" Regect had. He could be literally naked and Regect would see.
Z ran a hand through his hair. Inhale, exhale. Fuck, what if he wanted to...
..Would Regect like the sight at least?? Would an entity like him even feel pleasure???
The pleasure part might actually be true because Regect very clearly enjoys tormenting him, that's for sure. But the other... That's for another day.
He's gonna have to... get used to this. Somehow.
———————
“Alright Moe, how many fish did you catch?” Regect walked over to Moe, his own fish in hand.
“Honk honk. (Six or seven.)”
“Haha, very funny,” he said, deadpan.
Z watched them do their thing while he kept his distance. He watched Regect very closely.
Did Moe even know about this whole thing? Maybe she showed it to him. Gosh, why is everyone against him nowadays?
Whatever. He'll deal with it. Maybe he should threaten Regect with a gun, it could help.
“Ze! Ze! You gotta help us, come on!” Regect ran to Z and pointed at the lake. “There's a huge fish in the water! Dude– Stop staring and help!”
Z was dragged to the area and tried to help the two with catching the fish. Now, normally, since it was Minecraft, the fish should've been caught already. But it seemed like this wasn't a normal fish.
Eventually they managed to reel it in, and... it was a disappointment.
“Dude, a fucking shoe? ” Regect stared at the item. “After all that? Oh you've gotta be fucking kidding me.”
He threw it back in the water and walked back into the house, muttering curses to himself. Z and Moe simply looked at eachother.
“How long do you think it'll take until the house blows up?”
“Honk honk. (Probably a minute.)”
Z turned on a timer and, perfectly after a minute passed, the house was completely destroyed. If you listened closely then you could hear Regect scream as he got flung into the sky.
A few minutes later, Regect returned.
“Guys you will never believe what I just found.”
Z and Moe turned their heads at the same time.
“I found...” He took a second to look around in his inventory, “A tesseract! ”
To be completely honest, Z thought it was gonna be something better and more useful than a four-dimensional hypercube.
“Wow. Don't we already have one anyway? Why do you need another one?”
Regect sighed. “You don't understand. This one is better. Just look at it.”
Z spared a few seconds to look at the object, then looked back at the idiot. “I don't see anything special in it.”
“Of course you don't.”
“Honk honk honk. (I think it looks cool.)”
“See? Even Moe likes it! Come on Moe, let's go admire it and leave him alone. Ze you can kiss my ass.”
———————
Z hasn't seen Regect for two hours. Was he avoiding him?
He walked around the house (which was magically rebuilt) in search for the entity but didn't find anything. He could just leave the world and go do something else, he was starting to get bored anyway. And he did.
He turned off his computer and stretched. No ideas for what he should do popped up in his head and he was already considering going to sleep even though it was only 3 p.m.
See, this is what happens when you are unemployed, have no friends IRL and no hobbies. He was a disappointment.
He could try playing Minesweeper even though he was absolutely horrible at it. Actually no, last time he tried he ragequit and decided that he'll never touch that game again.
Maybe he should pick up playing the piano again.
...Nevermind, he didn't have a piano anymore.
Well, he was hopeless.
Z slammed his head on the desk. ‘Ow’.
“Looks like you're in a bit of a pickle.”
Z almost started sobbing at that moment.
“So, you have nothing to do, hm,” Regect hummed. He was really good at pretending he gave a shit about what Z was going through.
“I'm really fuckin' bored and you definitely can't help me with that. You'll just end up pissing me off.”
“Yeah yeah,” he clearly wasn't listening to what Z was saying. “Maybe we could, uhhhh, talk a little. So, did you change your mind about that tesse–”
“Regect I'm going to turn my computer back on and enter the world and kill you. Also I might build a torture chamber to put you in.”
“...That might cure your boredom, yeah,” his voice trembled a little.
They sat in silence for a while until Regect broke it.
“Do you actually own any guns? Just wondering.”
Z raised an eyebrow. “Why do you care? I'm not gonna shoot myself or anyone, not yet.”
“Well– Uhh... Just– Just curious. Since you really like guns and stuff.”
He sighed. “Yeah, I do have some.”
Z reached into a drawer and casually pulled out a gun. A shotgun to be specific (for some reason it fit inside his drawer perfectly, don't ask about it).
Regect took a closer look. He was in disbelief. “Where the fuck did you get a shotgun from??”
“I had a good friend back in highschool,” he said, smiling. Suspicious, but Regect didn't ask further.
“I'm... scared to even ask why you need a gun in the first place.”
“I actually have a few more, hold on!”
Regect started to actually tremble in fear while Z walked around his room to find his other guns. He didn't have a good collection yet.
“I got a Glock 21 and Ruger SP101,” he proudly showed them off, “I know I don't have a lot but shut up. Don't call me broke.”
“I'mscaredtoevendothatanyway– Um, that's– That's nice, yeah. Pretty cool.” Regect tried to keep his cool but was definitely more scared of Z now.
“I'm planning to get an assault rifle too. They're pretty awesome,” Z started putting his beautiful guns away. “Dunno which one, though. I'll have to think about it.”
“Why is it that the only time you don't yell at me is when you talk about guns? And why are you so excited?”
“Because I like them, you idiot? God, can't even talk about my interests in peace.”
“At least you're calm,” Regect sighed and looked away.
Z just now realized he was actually having a normal conversation with Regect. This will never happen again.
He stood up from his chair and reached for his shotgun again. “Alright, talking with you was fun but you gotta go now,” he pointed the gun at the screen.
“WaitwaitWAITWAITWAIT DON'T SHOOT–”
The screen immediately turned off. Z laughed. “Fucking dumbass. This doesn't even have any ammo.”
———————
Maybe Regect watching him wasn't too bad. When Z got bored, he threatened Regect with one of his guns and the entity just scurried away instantly. That was fun, he had to admit.
Although it was also unfortunate that Regect took his alarm clock's job and was the one to wake him up instead. He somehow managed to be even louder than the alarm. Not useful, just annoying. One time he threw the alarm at the screen which ended up almost knocking over his PC but at least Regect left.
But he had to live with this anyway. No matter how many times Z tried getting rid of him, he always ran back to him. That behavior reminded him of something– ‘Hm, nevermind...’
Like usual, Z turned on his computer and, instead of seeing his normal wallpaper, he saw Regect posing like in those "Draw me like one of your french girls" memes.
“...I'm genuinely gonna kill this guy,” he murmured to himself.
He immediately changed his wallpaper back to normal. Not only could Regect watch over him whenever he wanted, he could also make unnecessary changes in his computer. What's next, will Regect just walk out of his computer??? Geez, he hoped not.
Z looked around in his files to see if Regect left him a surprise. He sighed in relief when there wasn't anything suspicious.
He opened Minecraft and entered his world. The first thing he saw was a huge chicken inside the house. Again. He sighed deeply.
“Honk honk, honk honk! (Leave him alone! He's a friend!)” Moe tried to protect the chicken because Regect stole one of Z's guns and was trying to kill it.
“That thing is an enemy!! A monster! You can't just bring this thing inside the house!”
Z sighed again. “Can you guys tell me what exactly is going on.” He was too tired to deal with this chicken bullshit.
“Moe found a chicken and brought it into the house without asking me first.”
“Honk honk honk, honk honk honk honk. (It followed me when I went for a walk and I decided to bring it inside.)”
“If you really wanna keep it then we can just build it a coop.”
“Honk. (Exactly.)”
Regect threw the gun away and agreed to do so. “Alright, alright, whatever. But if I see that thing run around the house again then I'm shooting it down.”
“That should be my job. Also don't just throw my gun like that!”
Moe honked and jumped around in happiness. She already ran out of the house to start building, and Z was gonna ask her if she actually had the materials but decided not to. Don't question Moe.
———————
After they successfully built the chicken coop (of course it turned out amazing), Z had to go to the toilet to do his thing. Regect took the opportunity to scare Z when he came back.
He came back into the room and heard Regect scream while his screen had "GO FUCK YOURSELF CHUD" written on it with big red letters. Z closed his eyes and sighed for the 10th time.
But Z also wanted to give Regect a little surprise. “Regect, you watching?” he asked with a smirk.
The text disappeared and there he was. Regect stood in front of Z's avatar and looked. “What do you want... Hey, was my jumpscare unsucces–”
Z pulled down his pants. Regect screamed in horror and turned off his PC.
At least his jumpscare was successful! It was unfortunate that Regect left so quickly, Z was planning to do something else.
Hm, maybe another day...